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    Damn Females on the Lawn
    Damn Females on the Lawn
    Damn Females on the Lawn
    Ebook109 pages1 hour

    Damn Females on the Lawn

    By Rachel Hurd

    ()

    Read preview
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHillcrest Media Group
    Release dateMar 9, 2017
    ISBN9781629529288
    Damn Females on the Lawn

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      Book preview

      Damn Females on the Lawn - Rachel Hurd

      PREFACE

      Let’s say there is a pond full of turtles. Some of the turtles swim about calmly, letting you pet them, making you happy. You would probably comment about these wonderful turtles to your friend. But perhaps other turtles are also swimming about. Those turtles nip your feet, and some bite chunks out of your legs, trying to pull you under. You would also most likely comment about these turtles. Friends talk about everything the se days.

      CHAPTER 1

      FUTURE TALK

      On her way to Yazmine’s, Norma wandered past a loud lawn group full of young women. She wasn’t sure what type of group they were. By the look and sound of it, she guessed either a very fun lawn group or maybe a music dissection one. She couldn’t be sure as she strolled past, seeing the women dancing and talking. From the deck, a Yes I’m Fem style of rap blasted. As she passed, Norma hummed to the popul ar song.

      You pick up a girl, and then you put her down, Shut your mouth, you making me frown, you makin’ me frown, you makin’ me frown.

      It was a catchy tune. Once she got closer to Yazmine’s backyard, she could hear Caprice talking. Norma snuck in among the women and listened.

      So, then he puts on his old-time gangster voice and says, ‘Look, sweetheart, you don’t have to flirt with anyone, and you don’t have to play patty-cake with anyone,’ referencing that old Roger Rabbit movie. He says, ‘Just know that I love you, and I’ll always protect you. The next time he bothers you, remember, you can tell me anything,’ with a wink and a smile.

      Caprice was the only one in the group whose significant other was a future man. And Devon was happy to commend. The future man! I swear, Caprice, you got the one! She paused. Maybe the only one.

      Winifred remarked, looking down at the perspiration on her plastic cup of iced tea, I don’t have a man wanting to hear who’s bothering me at work. And this guy Mick lives to be rude to me at work.

      Honestly, Winifred, everyone at your job is trying their hardest to be rude to you. You work with some major jerk wads, Devon bantered. She went on, But serious thought, group, what would or will the world look like if all there was, was future men? Seriously, what would that even be like, good?

      The expressions of the women froze with their group pause. Luna and Norma, who sat next to each other, relaxed a little simultaneously as they eased back in Yazmine’s nice patio furniture. Luna stared out through the fence to the tall trees beyond. A world with only future men? she questioned in a low voice. Luna had been in this lawn group for a while, maybe six years. She loved the deep thoughts that pervaded the women. Sometimes she would only listen and take home with her more thoughts than she had before the meeting. Today would likely be no different.

      Having been in other groups, she had stuck with this group because it was the best. This group was unique. Why was this lawn group the best? Well, for one, it was relaxed. There was no Did you complete your mission or We are a strong union of women. She felt none of that pressure or forcefulness. But also, it wasn’t like the Kevin Lawn Group of women didn’t accomplish anything; they did. They just weren’t so damn pushy. I mean, just look at Kevin, Luna daydreamed. Just look at Kevin!

      A woman from another group, the Romance Line Lawn Group, strutted down the sidewalk in front of Luna’s view as she thought about her group. The woman paused on the sidewalk and looked with a smirk through the wide slats of the fence at the group of women. Luna didn’t know her but recognized the contempt on her face; definitely a Romance Line woman.

      The woman said, If you ladies query too long, you will be dead, having never experienced the joys of true romance and the freedom to courageously love passionately.

      Winifred squished her eyes and mouth toward each other in a laughing grimace. Do they teach you that speak pathway every day, all day? How do you have time for romance when you’ve got to memorize that crazy canon?

      The woman stared hard at Winifred and replied, I’m on my way to meet a handsome, lovely man right now. Ladies, you have words in your heart when you are open to the romance of life. No need for memorization, sad flower. She turned her head and briskly marched on.

      So, anyway, future men, huh, is that what we’re discussing today? Norma asked.

      Yazmine interjected, I’m sorry, but I must have been out the day we discussed future men. What are you all talking about? Yazmine had been getting more tea for the women when the question had been posed. Most of the lawn talks were held at her house, since she was single now. She loved feeling like the great caretaker of her fellow women on the lawn.

      No, you were out that whole week. You know what week that was! Norma commented. The group laughed at the inside joke.

      Devon leaned forward in her metal chair, put her hands on her knees, and began, So, future men. Well, OK, we talked about this all that week, so bear with me as I try to summarize. The women all leaned closer to Devon, loving her intellect and storytelling abilities.

      Think about it this way. You, Yazmine, are like women who have existed at all different times in this world.

      Oh, I am! Yazmine quipped.

      Yes, you and your wants, Devon continued, "back in the Middle

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