Honest before God: Daily Reflections from the Heart of the Psalms

By Philip Janvier

Not so long ago, I felt myself under so much pressure that I went to my doctor and asked, “How much stress is too much stress?” My doctor’s response implied that if I was asking that question, then I needed, to be honest with myself and take stock of my life and work. The truth was I was depressed and that I had been going down slowly for years, a combination of deafness in one ear, coeliacs disease, the usual chaotic family life and too many commitments had taken their toll. For years as a pastor I have dealt with those battling with depression, I was good at seeing the signs in others but very nearly missed my own. 

I was fortunate because I have a loving family, close friends and a church that were simply amazing, who walked with me, and a doctor who made sure I got the right support. A combination of counselling, prayer and medication has assured that I am at last coming out the other side. 
Inspired by the Rt Revd James Jones, this book charts my journey from the valley of the shadow into the light. It is my prayer, that wherever you are on your spiritual journey, you will find comfort, hope and challenge through the radical honesty embedded in the heart of the Psalms.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Philip Janvier
• Release date: Feb 18, 2017
• ISBN: 9781386079552

Philip Janvier

Philip Janvier was born in Liverpool in 1957 and studied Theology at Trinity College, Bristol. He is the author of the Amazon Best Selling, 'The Fin Butler Adventures.' He is an award-winning documentary videographer, has written both Christian and secular material. He is addicted to reading, loves children’s fantasy novels and Doctor Who. He is married and lives in Liverpool where he is the Team Rector of St Stephen’s, Gateacre.

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Psalm 4:4, 7 (NIV)

Tremble and do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.

Fill my heart with joy when their grain and new wine abound.

The idea of searching the heart is a good one in practice but hard to do in reality. One of the problems of stress is that we can lay too much time on our beds worrying, going through what could have been or should have been. Sleepless nights lead to tired and frustrating days. Any searching of the heart often is stuck in a loop, and we find ourselves lost in a maddening cycle unable to see clearly. This Psalm is an assurance that God hears us when we call, and although at times we feel that God is distant he is in fact nearby and listening.

The Psalmist is well aware that it is at night when we cannot sleep that our minds slip into places we would be ashamed to admit to in the day. When the words of our mouth and the thoughts of our hearts are far from God, we are advised to be silent. Great advice if you can do it, however, I find silencing the mind when it is in such a state hard to do and often find myself instead, seeking forgiveness in the daylight.

Asking God to fill our heart with joy when others around us prosper can be difficult. However, our richness does not come from money or power but in the knowledge that we are loved and cared for by God. Jesus promised his disciples peace that passes all understanding; it is this peace, even in the midst of turmoil, that our minds crave so that we can sleep. The writer of this Psalm is aware that it is God alone that this peace is found. Consequently, if we seek God, then we can find rest and sleep.

Prayer

Holy Father, when the darkness closes in and peace is hard to find, by your great mercy grant us that peace which Jesus promised to his disciples so that we may rest and sleep. Amen.

Psalm 5:9 (NIV)

Not a word from their mouth can be trusted;

their heart is filled with malice. Their throat is an open grave; with their tongues they tell lies.

Not everything that comes from the human heart is pure, not every promise made is kept, people seldom speak the whole truth, and the news is full of war and violence. Even as I write this reflection, there is an armed conflict between Israel and the Palestinians living in Gaza. Syria is deep in a civil war; Iraq is facing an active and violent insurgency; the Islamist insurgents in Nigeria are taking schoolgirls prisoner; in South Sudan, the Civil War continues, and a Malaysian passenger jet has been shot down over eastern Ukraine. Unhappily, this is far from a complete list.

The Psalmist understands rightly that God is not pleased with wickedness and begs God to let the intrigues of the wicked be their downfall. On the surface, it would be easy to look at all the evil in the world and act as if it is beyond us and outside of our influence. Sadly, if we believe that then we are deceiving ourselves, for the root of much evil lies in the lusts of the human heart, and we often reap what we have sown. To contend with the fallible human heart the writer reminds himself of the privilege of being able to enter into the place of worship and demands that God will lead him in all righteousness. For it is as the worshipper bows in reverence before God, in humility, that the human heart is trained, guided and can sing for joy. In the end, the writer asks that God will spread his protection over all who seek refuge in him so they may sing for joy. The author’s faith daunts me for mine seems so weak and frail in comparison.

Prayer

Holy Father, blessed Son and vibrant Holy Spirit,

train my heart in the ways of peace,

so that I may sing for joy.

Amen.

Psalm 7:9, 10 (NIV)

Bring to an end the violence of the wicked

and make the righteous secure –

you, the righteous God who probes minds and hearts.

My shield is God Most High, who saves the upright in heart.

There are days when it seems everything that can go wrong does go wrong, and we are left helpless. The writer of Psalm 7 is desperate for God to grant him justice over an adversary, but his demand for retribution begins with himself. The author’s confidence in his own guiltlessness is such that he requires that God test him and if he is guilty of the same crime, allow his enemy to kill him. If I am honest, such confidence in one’s own lack of guilt daunts me, for I lack that confidence in the purity of my own life. When I feel like this I take confidence in the words of the Apostle James, ‘The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.’(James 5:16b NIV).

When I was a Team Vicar at St Gabriel’s, Toxteth, I heard this passage read in a pre-service prayer meeting. As I listened, I was struck by my own nature, and I felt far from being a righteous person. My initial feeling was, oh well that explains why my prayers are rarely powerful or effective. Then I heard the voice of God speak in my mind, I have made you righteous! Then it dawned on me, the issue here is not my righteousness, for I am a fallible human being, but in the righteousness of God. If this were true, and I now believe with absolute conviction that it is, that means my prayers are powerful and effective!

As a side issue, I believe that God longs to speak to us. How he does, that can vary widely from person to person. I mentioned above an occasion when I heard the voice of God speak directly into my mind. This is not how I generally hear God talk to me. I have discovered that it is in God's interest that we understand what he is saying to us. Therefore, God can and will use anything that influences our lives to communicate with us. However, to discern what is truly from God we need test what we believe he is saying to us against his written word in the bible. If there is a contradiction scripture wins!

Prayer

Dear Lord and Heavenly Father, there are days when my righteousness seems to fail. Please make me righteous in your son, Jesus Christ, so that my prayers may be powerful and effective. Amen.

Psalm 9:1 (NIV)

I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.

It is easy when faced with a verse like this to assume that everything is going well for the Psalmist, when in fact, the opposite is true. The Psalm begins with praise but quickly turns to acknowledging the sovereignty of God and the need for his avenging justice. In the book of Lamentations, we find a selection of poetic laments that describes the siege and destruction of Jerusalem. The people of God face poverty, starvation, cannibalism, torture, rape and mass murder and, as a book of the Bible, is one of the bleakest I have ever read. In the middle of all this misery, we find these verses that shine like a light in the darkness, ‘Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness’ (Lamentations 3:21-23 NIV).

To give praise to God when you are in the middle of difficult and trying circumstances may not change the situation you are in, but it will alter the heart of the one giving praise. Sadly, this is harder to do than I would like. To my shame, when things go wrong I tend to turn my thoughts to myself, complaining at the injustice of it all, angry at myself and others for getting me into the problem, whatever it is, in the first place. Eventually, and only through the grace of God, I can accept that whatever the difficult circumstance was, it has happened already and that God is there waiting faithfully to walk me through the consequences. Then in retrospect, I can praise God for his faithfulness and security.

The writer of this Psalm provides two counterbalancing methods of getting our hearts into this right frame of mind from the beginning. ‘I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart’. To thank someone from the heart implies acknowledging them with your body, mind and spirit. The other, ‘I will tell of all your wonderful deeds,’ advocates rehearsing and remembering God’s faithfulness aloud to yourself and to others. Though hard to do, thanksgiving and declaration directly train the heart to trust in God and therefore, put us into a place of grace.

Prayer

Almighty God and Father, we give you thanks for you great faithfulness that is new every morning. Help us to fix our eyes upon you and daily remember aloud your goodness to us.

Amen.

Psalm 10:3 (NIV)

He boasts about the cravings of his heart; he blesses the greedy and reviles the Lord.

This Psalm begins, ‘Why, Lord, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?’(NIV) Like many before, the Psalmist is wondering why God at times seems distant and remote, ignoring the requests of the needy and not bringing instant justice. It is hard to watch people boast about their abuse of power, their lusts and cravings, especially when those desires are from the dark corners of their hearts. The desire for swift and ruthless justice is understandable even if the manner requested, to ‘Break the arm(s) of the wicked...,’ (v15a NIV) leans more towards vengeance than justice does.

This demand for instant justice permeates our society. Even our children cry ‘that’s not fair’, but seldom, it seems to me, do we realise that justice is a two-edged sword. When we do something wrong, we hide behind excuses, it was a momentary aberration, it was not my fault I was provoked, and these excuses are as varied as we are one from another. Jesus said, ‘How can you say to your brother, Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye, when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." (Luke 6:42 NIV) Sometimes, God seems distant because we have pushed him away. We too have taken pride in our selfish pursuits and