Better with Bacon

By Matthew Lang

When Patrick’s long-term girlfriend Li Ling dumps him just as he’s working up the nerve to propose, he ends up drunk on David’s couch—and later in David’s bed. Although initially reluctant to pursue anything beyond a one-time drunken tryst, David throws caution to the wind during an intimate dinner, where the two men also discuss Patrick’s dream of entering the food industry. Just as the friends-turned-lovers are settling into their new romance, Li Ling calls Patrick—she’s pregnant.

Convinced the announcement spells the end of their love affair and a return to their platonic friendship, David flees to Sydney to escape his heartbreak. But upon his return to Melbourne, David discovers the situation hasn’t gone the way he’d expected. There might still be a chance for David and Patrick’s dreams to come true if they can forgive each other’s mistakes and move forward.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
• Release date: Feb 22, 2017
• ISBN: 9781634778121

Matthew Lang

Matthew Lang writes behind a desk, in the park, on the tram and sometimes backstage at amateur theatre productions. He has been known to sing and dance in public, analyse the plots of movies and TV shows, and is a confessed Masterchef addict. Over the years he has dabbled in marketing, advertising, event management and the sale of light fittings, but his first love is and has always been that of the written word and is rarely too far from a good book. He likes his men hot and spunky, his mysteries fantastical, his fantasies real and his vampires to combust when exposed to sunlight. Other than that he’s pretty normal. One day we may even take him out of the straight jacket.

Book preview

Better with Bacon

By Matthew Lang

When Patrick’s long-term girlfriend Li Ling dumps him just as he’s working up the nerve to propose, he ends up drunk on David’s couch—and later in David’s bed. Although initially reluctant to pursue anything beyond a one-time drunken tryst, David throws caution to the wind during an intimate dinner, where the two men also discuss Patrick’s dream of entering the food industry. Just as the friends-turned-lovers are settling into their new romance, Li Ling calls Patrick—she’s pregnant.

Convinced the announcement spells the end of their love affair and a return to their platonic friendship, David flees to Sydney to escape his heartbreak. But upon his return to Melbourne, David discovers the situation hasn’t gone the way he’d expected. There might still be a chance for David and Patrick’s dreams to come true if they can forgive each other’s mistakes and move forward.

Table of Contents

Blurb

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

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About the Author

By Matthew Lang

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Copyright

Prologue

THE SHRILL, insistent, and repetitive opening to Hall of the Mountain King brought David out of his comfortable slumber, and for a moment he lay in his best friend-cum-lover’s embrace as Patrick snored into his hair. Patrick could sleep through just about anything. After worming his way out of the warm circle of Patrick’s arms, he hunted through the discarded clothing for Patrick’s dress pants. The soft and silky fabric slipped frustratingly through his fingers, and it took a while to find the right pocket, but he eventually pulled out the battered iPhone, its spiderweb of cracks silent testimony to the number of times Patrick had dropped the damn thing.

It was an unknown number that seemed vaguely familiar, and he swiped to accept the call. Hello, this is Patrick Gorman’s phone—

Dave, it’s me.

Oh, hi, Li Ling.

What are you doing with Patrick’s phone?

David looked back into the bedroom where Patrick lay, naked in a sprawl of bedsheets that hadn’t quite made it onto the floor despite their best efforts.

I just woke up after boning your almost-fiancé. I’m at Pat’s place, and you know how he is in the mornings.

Right, of course. I need to speak with him.

Well, I’m terribly sorry, but he’s asleep, and I should point out he doesn’t want to speak to you right now.

Dave, I’m pregnant.

A knife dropped through the centre of David’s body, a blade so sharp that the pain only came a few seconds after the cut. His warm, happy feelings from the previous night were sucked from his body in the wake of the blade, leaving only ice. Who’s the father? he asked hopelessly.

Chapter 1

Two weeks earlier.

SO WHAT are your plans for the fourteenth? Patrick asked, taking a swig of beer before reaching for the Xbox controller, his large hands seeming to dwarf the contraption.

If this is another chance to brag about your plans to propose to Li Ling, I’m going to puke, David warned as he turned up the volume on the TV. I am and remain happy for you, but I still say proposing on Valentine’s Day is barf worthy. Tekken?

She dumped me. Patrick’s voice was soft enough that David almost didn’t hear it.

David paused, his fingers hovering above the game cases on his shelf. Okay, he said, sitting back. Less happy for you now.

Patrick and Li Ling had been high school sweethearts, and David had known them for over half his life. Patrick had been his best mate since the incident with the tire swing on grade four camp, and the boys had discovered broken bones together, the first in a long string of discoveries that included cars, porn, a mutual dislike of One Direction, and a love of The Lord of the Rings. Admittedly Patrick only came around to David’s line of thinking when the movies came out, but it was still agreement. Li Ling had always been around. David remembered her as the only other Asian kid in primary school. He’d never had much in common with her, though, until Patrick had asked her for help one day with his history homework in year nine, and suddenly David and Li Ling had one thing in common—Patrick.

The three of them had gone to the formal together, along with David’s then boyfriend, and headed on to schoolies on the Gold Coast before taking the long drive home to Melbourne. They stopped at all the good and not so good beaches on the way back south, taking in the rays or with Patrick trying unsuccessfully to teach them to surf, until sunburn forced them out of the sun and into motel rooms with tubes of aloe vera gel. It was odd, but for so long David hadn’t really thought of his friends as individuals. For so long it had been Patrick and Li Ling or Li Ling and Patrick. For so long it had been We’ll be over around eight. We.

So, single boys’ night in, huh? David said, using his controller to load up Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light. Haven’t had one of those in a while.

I don’t think I’ve had one since we were fifteen.

That was a sleepover, David objected. You want to play Lara?

Patrick laughed. Sure. I know you just want to play the hot guy.

No, if I wanted that, I’d be playing Arkham.

Which one?

Does it matter?

Guess not, Patrick said. Question: Christian Bale or Joseph Gordon-Levitt?

What?

Who’s sexier?

Joseph Gordon-Levitt, David said promptly. "Especially after Inception. He was never Batman, though."

No, he was Robin.

True. Crap! Spear trap!

Pay attention, Zhang, Patrick said. And you didn’t answer my question.

What question?

What are you doing on the fourteenth?

Nothing. It’s a manufactured piece of commercial gimmickry designed to sell us crap we don’t need or want, and all the restaurants put on bad set menus because realistically they don’t want to deal with lovestruck demanding couples with more money than food sense.

Plus you’re single.

Technically, I guess.

Technically?

You could say I’m seeing a number of guys—just no one at boyfriend level.

Patrick paused the game and turned to face him. Okay, run that one by me again?

You want me to translate that to heterospeak? Okay. I’m not seeing anyone special.

Wow, I actually feel slightly offended, Patrick said.

Heterospeak?

Kinda. I thought I spoke fluent David Zhang if not fluent gay.

David laughed and cracked another bottle of Amstel. I think there’s a rather large obstacle in your way of speaking fluent gay.

You’ve kept me up to date despite my long relationship with a woman, haven’t you?

Mostly.

Patrick frowned. Okay, back up and take it from the top—

Oh, I generally do, David said archly.

For a moment, Patrick sat on the couch, unmoving. Right. Yes. Okay. Truth time. How many guys would you have had sex with in the last… I don’t know, three months?

I don’t know, probably about ten?

Ten?

With options on a few more. I don’t know. Apparently now that I’ve hit late-twenties, everyone wants me.

Or Australia’s just caught up to your sexy man bod.

Um, thanks.

And none of them special? Patrick asked, reaching for the bowl of wasabi peas.

I don’t think so, David said thoughtfully. One of them was really nice, but he’s poly, and I don’t think I am—

Just a bit of a man-slut?

Look, I don’t mind sleeping around with or without emotions and sleeping, but I’ve only got room in my life for one boyfriend, thank you. There’s another guy, but he seems more interested in sleeping with every other boy he can find, and, well, he’s a bit… up himself, I guess. There’s a cute geek, but I don’t know if we’d be compatible away from a game console….

And the other— Patrick paused and recounted. —seven?

Once-offs, too young, too old, one of them smoked, one was jobless with no ambition… one was a hairdresser.

What’s wrong with hairdressers?

He didn’t understand what I do for a living.

Dave, I don’t understand what you do for a living. I get that it’s got to do with repackaging debt and selling it to investors, but that’s about it.

Yeah, but you understand that’s possible and roughly how it works, David said. Vic was amazingly cute, but… look, he doesn’t even understand credit cards. How am I supposed to explain derivative securities if he doesn’t get credit cards?

You know, you are seriously picky, anyone ever tell you that? Patrick said. Reload so you don’t die on spikes?

Yes, you and yes, reload, David said. And I’m not more picky. Gay men just have more variables to work with.

What, pitching and catching?

For instance, yes. Fucksticks!

You’re okay, you’re okay, Patrick said. Just watch out for his….

Club? David asked with a sigh.

Yeah, you gotta be ready when he starts swinging that one around.

David shot his friend a look. "Mr Gorman, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you were