The Antidote: Happiness For People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking

By Oliver Burkeman

The Antidote is a wry, witty travelogue that turns decades of self-help advice on its head. In it, Guardian journalist Oliver Burkeman chronicles a series of journeys by people who share a single, surprising way of thinking about life. Whether philosophers, experimental psychologists, New Age dreamers or hard-headed business consultants, they have in common a hunch about human psychology. They believe that in our personal lives and in the world at large, our constant fixation on eliminating or avoiding the negative-uncertainty, unhappiness, failure-is what causes us to feel so anxious, insecure, and unhappy. He argues there is an alternative "negative path" to happiness and success that involves coming face to face with the things we spend our lives trying to avoid, to even embrace them. This is the "backwards law": The more we're willing to embrace what we think of as negative, the happier and more successful we'll become. We may need to completely rethink our attitudes toward such things as failure, uncertainty, disorder, insecurity, and death.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Penguin Group
• Release date: Nov 13, 2012
• ISBN: 9780143186700

Oliver Burkeman

Oliver Burkeman is a feature writer for The Guardian. He is a winner of the Foreign Press Association's Young Journalist of the Year Award and has been short-listed for the Orwell Prize. He wrote a popular weekly column on psychology, "This Column Will Change Your Life," and has reported from New York, London, and Washington, D.C. His books include Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals and The Antidote: Happiness for People who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking. He lives in New York City.

Reviews for The Antidote

[sometimeunderwater · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Surprisingly not awful. Didn't learn the secret of happiness, but that probably wasn't the point. Some fun anecdotes, and a breezy style make this feel nice and short.

[olivermagnus · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I'm not a huge fan of self help books but needed to read one to fulfill a challenge. I found this book at the library and it seemed to fit the bill for me. Throughout the book Burkeman covers a wide range of spiritual philosophies and practices, such as Hellenistic stoicism, Zen Buddhism and Memento Mori, philosophies and practices that often are said to focus on negative thinking.

The author believes that not forcing a positive attitude to life could have positive consequences for psychological, physiological and neurological function. Burkeman first describes the Stoics and focuses on their struggling to achieve a specific emotional state. He then poses the idea that we should accept negatives experiences as something that can be helpful.

I've never heard of Oliver Burkeman but apparently he writes a popular column in The Guardian. I found his book to be both funny and refreshing.

[hollyc36 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I really loved this book. I had completely misunderstood what stoicism was, and I am so glad to have been properly introduced to it. This book has really inspired me, and has led me to read a lot more about stoicism.

[ohernaes · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Tired of the self-helg genre's focus on positivity in all ways, Burkeman writes a self-helt book about the power of negative thinking. Already a reality-oriented sceptic, I guess I never needed persuasion. It is nice to hear about Eipcurus, stocicism, and serious forms of mindfulness, but overall the book was not extraordinary to me. Ok.

[jpe9 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A nice mixture of psychology and philosophy, this book debunks the power of positive thinking and takes up with various psychological researchers, Eckhart Tolle, Seneca, and the Buddha in an amiable journalistic style. The book is an amalgamation of columns that ran in Guardian Weekend, but hangs together much better than that implies.

[jen6e6moore · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Stoicism, Buddhism, memento mori - everything in this book was excellent (and cleverly written), and none of it was new to me. I think that means it's time to stop reading books like this.

[parthurbook · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

As with Burkeman's previous book ('Help'), this mixes a deceptively easy-going writing style, some good jokes and a comprehensive review of the territory. He has done his homework, and the first-hand reporting of site visits ans interviews show the skills of a deft journalist. If you don't know the work of the Stoics, Albert Ellis, Alan Watts, Eckhart Tolle or (latterly) Steve Shapiro, this is a very entertaining, well-written introduction: if you have read any of their work, then you might be left wanting just a little more insight or originality.

[adzebill · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Interesting attempt to construct a path to happiness from meditation, Stoicism, and various bits of non-attachment psychology, in a way quite opposed to the practical positive thinking one usually finds. Obviously stitched together from newspaper columns, but a good beginning for someone interested in giving this a go. His previous book was more wide-ranging and covered some of the same ground.

[infjsarah · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This was OK but inconclusive - which I suspect was one of the points!Humans look for easy answers but they don't exist.

[eclecticdodo · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

An okay book on stoicism and its various modern manifestations as an alternative to positive thinking. It's quite interesting in places, but not great by any means.

[jasonpettus · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

(Reprinted from the Chicago Center for Literature and Photography [cclapcenter.com]. I am the original author of this essay, as well as the owner of CCLaP; it is not being reprinted illegally.)I know this is going to come as a shock to many of you, but I am not exactly an "Up With People" kind of guy, and the relentless forced positivity within a certain section of the liberal arts these days, despite being done for the most noble intentions, tends to wear me out. So thank God, then, for the newish The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking by philosopher and participatory journalist Oliver Burkeman; he instead looks at the many groups over the last several millennia, from the Stoics of ancient Greece to the Buddhists of Asia, the Rationalists of the Enlightenment, and even such modern figures as Alan Watts, to show that maybe it's actually pretty healthy to sometimes picture the worst-case scenario, to embrace the failures you make, and to always carry with you a finely tuned daily awareness of your own imminent death. As these groups have each independently proven, he shows through a series of fascinating trips to various contemporary communities, tribes and experts around the globe, it can actually be really healthy for humans to understand their boundaries, to know which things they can reasonably accomplish and which they can't, and to know when to let go of an obsessive desire for a goal before that goal instead kills you; and in the meanwhile, he cites modern study after modern study that are each starting to show how much damage the "power of positive thinking" can have, from increased frustration over challenges to the body giving up on a challenge after enjoying it too much in an idealized version in one's head, even to the kinds of fatalistic embrace of violent quick-change solutions that always come with fascist administrations in times of crisis. (It's not a coincidence that Nazi-era Germans and Bush-era Americans were both obsessed with new-age beliefs.) A fresh splash of water in a lobotomizingly peppy world of endless Tony Robbinses and Deepak Chopras, this will absolutely change the way you look at the world if you're one of those people receptive to its message, and it comes strongly recommended whether to read or to simply carry to your next corporate-job-mandated "Unleash The Power of Positivity!" seminar at your local sports arena.Out of 10: 9.7

[sullywriter_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

An interesting, wise, and quite amusing tour of the "negative path" to happiness. I particularly enjoyed Burkeman ending with John Keats's idea of "negative capability," which I first encountered in college and have always found fascinating.

[john.cooper · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

The feeling of relief with which I read this book stays with me still. Finally, a book that convincingly argues that the pursuit of happiness only makes it more difficult to reach; that when positive thinking fails, the fault is not with the thinker; and that the evil, unhappy feelings that fill me when I attempt to improve my life with affirmations are entirely normal! And yet, this is no book for modern cynics. It's an overview of several schools of thought, including the pop Buddhism of Alan Watts, the revival of Stoicism by philosopher William Irvine, and the rational school of psychology pioneered by Albert Ellis, that approach a fulfilled life from an entirely different direction. Is it the best of all conceivable books of its kind, as my five-star rating would seem to imply? No; it begins with a gimmicky takedown of an easy target, one of those giant celebrity positivity rallies, and it proceeds with a familiar breeziness that seems to me rather forced. But despite the folksy everyman-author-on-a-quest format, there is real wisdom here, and much to explore. It's a book I'm going to read again.

[knightlight777 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A great thought provoking book on a subject written about generally from one perspective. I rated it four stars and was considering five but for a lapse on the final topic. Oliver Burkeman is a pleasure to read as he delves into subjects and topics related to the motives and methods related to the positive goal setting agenda folks who seem as much motivated by the prospect of lining their pockets more than anything. And of course never a short supply of those on the other end handing it over to them trying to get someone to help them steer their lives on the right course. I generally am disappointed with what I call slice of life books that jump from one topic to another usually geared toward humor or their sense of commercialized whimsy. Burkeman's approach was much more interesting and to the point. He lost me a bit on his final topic of death as he wanders around Mexico watching and commenting on the acts of celebrating the dead. But the central question of how we deal with our inevitable demise was as chilling an central as ever. A book I am glad I picked up, read, and made me think I may have missed my calling as a stoic.

[vantine-1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

A well thought out explorations of the historic alternatives to the "cult" of positive thinking. The problems inherent to positive thinking are examined with a wry eye.
It's not a pessimistic or sarcastic text; the alternative to positive thinking is not expecting the worst.
This would be a good companion to Bright Sided by Barbara Ehrenreich.

[st5croixsue · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I liked this book. A self-help book that explains why self-help books don't work. A little bit of Buddhism, Stoicism, Eckhart Tolle, and other philosophies and psychological tenets that help to expose and unravel some of life's mysteries. Well presented, and also appropriate for positive thinkers.

[stige_3 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

I found this to be an annoying read.

The author starts off by showing where positive thinking fails and then loosely props up a kind of oppositional "negative way" by way of quotes, personal anecdotes/experiences, name-dropping, and grabbing elements of philospophers and interviews and cramming them into a narrative.

He may be right in his assertions, but he doesn't back it up with anything solid, he doesn't properly spell out what exactly he is proposing and he doesn't test out if he is right. If this is the antidote, he is relying on people supplying a lot of confirmation bias when they read this. Perhaps in this way the title is well chosen?

[pixelette · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I loved this book. It really changed my perspective on quite a few things and solidified my perspective on many others. I found a couple of the later chapters slightly more boring than the others, but overall it didn't devalue the experience or the message of the book and it remains very readable. A really great foundation from which I'll continue to explore the ideas and sources that Burkeman discusses.

[juva_3 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

An extremely thought provoking and well-researched rebuttal of the positive thinking movement and the impact it's had on people and especially on American culture. The author presents a series of philosophies that stand in as alternatives to a saccharine view of the world that denies all possibility of negativity. I listened this book during the final two weeks of my job and it was especially helpful and encouraging to me. When one is facing the end of something that was previously stable and comfortable, it can feel like the world is ending. The wisdom in this book helped me stave off anxiety and look closely at the reasons why I felt such uncertainty. I will likely listen to it again as there is so much to digest.

[stephkaye-923485 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

The Antidote is a great look at happiness and how to achieve it, in the most unlikely of manners. Burkeman first pokes holes in the theories of positive thinking and motivational nonsense. Then he sketches out a "negative path." He examines Stoicism, Buddhism, and other approaches to living a life filled with undeniable suffering. His call for more "openture" than closure is reasonably argued and supported with both anecdotal and statistical evidence. A book that made me feel better equipped to live happily in the midst of uncertainty, as we all must try to do.

[cygnoir_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Overall, this is a solidly constructed, journalist's take on the negative path to happiness. I wouldn't say I enjoyed it -- I don't think I was supposed to -- but parts were informative.

[thegreatape-1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A more nuanced read than the title suggests. Covered a lot of ground I was familiar with, but I still came away with a good amount to chew on.

[jerry.yoakum · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Despite the fact that the title implies that this is a self-help book, it really is not. It is more of a journalistic study of philosophies that don't focus on the positive. There are no step-by-step guides of how to change your life. It is more like following along with a friend is learning about different techniques and giving them a go.

[kristykay22 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

An enjoyable and very readable journey through a whole smattering of life philosophies and guiding personalities. Burkeman has a good sense of when to add some personal reflection and when to be more journalistic that keep this from getting dragged down in memoir or caught in the weeds of a particular idea. While the book does give some guiding advice, this isn't really a self help book and folks looking for more step-by-step advice would need to follow up with something that digs more practically into the ideas Burkeman scratches the surface of here. Worth a read if you are the kind of person who thinks about what you are thinking and looking to influence how you feel.

[pw0327 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I picked up this book at Carmichael Books in Louisville. It sat there, quite innocuous with a rather mundane title and a rather funny looking cover. I’d read about the book previously and the topic looked entertaining, so I bought it. Little did I know that this was going to change my world view completely.The Antidote questions, in the first chapter, our obsession with being happy, and in so doing it also questions the underlying folk wisdom that we take for granted. Such things as our cult like adhesion to the western definition of happiness, our goal setting habit, our aversion to anything that smacks of negativity, our fear of failure, our discomfort with death, and our deep seated dread of uncertainty. In eight well researched and written chapters, Mr. Burkeman dives in and dives in deep. Unlike most books investigating a specific subject, Mr. Burkeman does not just cite and regurgitate academic research results, although he does a quite reasonable job of that. He dives into experiencing a number of topics that challenges the status quo and certainly places him into some uncomfortable situations, all in order to conduct research for the book. Some of the more satisfying portions of the book are his descriptions of his own feelings and mental states as he is conducting his research.Another source of reading pleasure are his in depth interviews with people. Rather than just doing a cursory review and restatement of the salient points of the interviews, Mr. Burkeman goes into deeper descriptive elocution of the interviews, this part of the chapters were wonderful peeks into the conversation and gives the reader a snapshot of the discussion. His subjects were eclectic and representative of the fascinating world that he had jumped into with both feet.The breadth of the book is broad, Mr. Burkeman discusses the Stoic philosophers and philosophy, the Buddhist philosophy and how the two correlate. He examines the impossible situation that we force ourselves into when we adapt the ubiquitous and pedantic habit of goal setting, and how our fear of uncertainty reinforces our grip onto that goal setting habit. He then delves into our fear of failure, and how some have embraced failure as a guide and utilize that examination of failure as the guiding principle towards achieving tranquility, in place of happiness. He invokes the Stoic practice of looking at the most negative possible outcome in order to gain perspective and alleviate fears, fear of uncertainty, and submitting to the Stoic practice of dichotomy of control. He also dives in on the Stoic practice of Memento Mori, which forces us to examine the role of death and dying in our culture and attempts to get our minds to accept the finality of death and to overcome our fear of death. I must admit that this part of the book was particularly difficult for me, yet this practice does allow me to understand this previously taboo subject. I am still working on this part of my own thoughts.The Antidote is not an easy read, which s what makes it special. The integrity of Mr. Burkeman who made sure that he had skin in the game as he did research was a singular point of merit; it made me that much more interested because he made the effort. Mr. Burkeman’s epilogue in the Antidote was matter of fact and rational. It did not appeal to nostalgia nor emotional hysteria, instead he remained Stoic in his story telling, which is the very attractive quality that permeates the entire book.

[markberonte · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Success through failure, calm through embracing anxiety—a totally original approach to self-helpSelf-help books don’t seem to work. Few of the many advantages of modern life seem capable of lifting our collective mood. Wealth—even if you can get it—doesn’t necessarily lead to happiness. Romance, family life, and work often bring as much stress as joy. We can’t even agree on what “happiness” means. So are we engaged in a futile pursuit? Or are we just going about it the wrong way? Looking both east and west, in bulletins from the past and from far afield, Oliver Burkeman introduces us to an unusual group of people who share a single, surprising way of thinking about life. Whether experimental psychologists, terrorism experts, Buddhists, hardheaded business consultants, Greek philosophers, or modern-day gurus, they argue that in our personal lives, and in society at large, it’s our constant effort to be happy that is making us miserable. And that there is an alternative path to happiness and success that involves embracing failure, pessimism, insecurity, and uncertainty—the very things we spend our lives trying to avoid. Thought-provoking, counterintuitive, and ultimately uplifting, The Antidote is the intelligent person’s guide to understanding the much-misunderstood idea of happiness.

[debnance_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I don’t think I’d go that far: I don’t hate positive thinking. Nevertheless, Burkeman takes a close look at what science has discovered about positive thinking and, though I hate to smash your rose-colored glasses, it is really not pretty. Positive thinking can lead to some pretty negative thinking. Oddly.So Burkeman takes another approach. It’s to face reality. To look at it carefully. But dispassionately. Realistically.I like this. It seems a little silly to go around saying, “Life just gets better and better every live long day.” Sometimes, frankly, it doesn’t. And it doesn’t do any good to walk around, saying it, shouting it, with your fingers in your ears, honestly.Take a look at this book. It’s a hard cold look at happiness. That just might make you much happier.