The Big Book of Martinis for Moms

By Rose Maura Lorre and Mavis Lamb

More than 175 martinis just for moms!

You're at every game, performance, and practice. You weather colds, flus, and strep throat better than anyone. You can finish a diorama in two hours flat.

Isn't it time you had your own happy hour?

Filled with more than 175 refreshing martini recipes, this collection gives you a reason to take a seat and just unwind. Featuring simple instructions that can be done in a matter of minutes, you will:

• Relax tubside with a Bathtub Gin(ger).
• Relish the view of a spotless bedroom with a Hurricane Martini in hand.
• Savor bedtime with a Relaxing Tea Martini.
• Reward yourself with a Cucumber Martini after getting the kids to eat their veggies.
• Celebrate fitting into your skinny jeans with a Thin Gin.

With The Big Book of Martinis for Moms, you'll always have the perfect answer for every joy and accomplishment motherhood has to offer!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster
• Release date: Feb 18, 2013
• ISBN: 9781440556692

Rose Maura Lorre

An Adams Media author.

Book preview

Introduction

Have you ever:

•  Survived being up all night with a sick kid?

•  Handled a diaper blowout without calling in the Hazmat team?

•  Won the battle of the messy bedroom?

Of course you have! You’re a mom and, while you love your role—and your kids!—you know for sure that parenting isn’t the easiest job in the world. After all, a lot of what hard-working moms have to do isn’t very glamorous and doesn’t come with a paycheck, let alone much of a thank-you. Every day, you deal with temper tantrums, moments of panic, and the messiest messes imaginable, but despite the daily crises that occur around you, you also realize how lucky you really are to be surrounded by little ones who love you unconditionally. But that doesn’t mean that, after a hard day, you don’t sometimes want to mix up a nice strong martini, sit on the couch, and just take a deep breath and relax.

This is where The Big Book of Martinis for Moms comes into play! Here, you’ll find more than 150 martini recipes, each tied to a specific feat commonly experienced in the life of a mom. So whether you’ve just given your newborn his first bath (the Bathtub Gin Martini), managed a mega carpool schedule (the Tijuana Taxi martini), or renegotiated your kid’s allowance (the Cookie Monster martini) you’ll be set to relax once you’ve conquered that particular parenting feat! In addition, you’ll find martinis specifically aimed at scenarios where you’ve managed to carve out some precious time for yourself. If you actually made it to a girls’ night out, reward yourself with a Cosmopolitan. If you successfully went on an adults-only weekend getaway, you’ll want to indulge in a Charming Proposal martini. Or if you finally managed to get the house all to yourself, feel free to celebrate with the Dreamsicle Martini.

Not sure how to make a martini? Don’t worry. You’re too busy to take a bartending class and you don’t need to have earned your TIPS certification to mix up the martinis in this book. All you need is a shaker, a martini glass (or two), some ice, and the alcohols and garnishes used in the recipes throughout. For most recipes, all you need to do is pour, shake, and serve!

So what are you waiting for? Chances are, you’ve conquered at least one feat today and it’s time to sit back, relax, and shake your way through The Big Book of Martinis for Moms. After all, you’ve earned it! Enjoy!

Chapter 1

Bedtime Feats

Adults tend to relish bedtime because we spend so much of the day exhausted and needing a good nap. Your kids don’t always look at it that way, so it can often be a challenge to get your household settled down for the night. The nightly battles you go through may run the gamut of bedtime stalling tactics, but they’re all a part of your routine. It might be getting that colicky, fussy baby fed and rocked into a state of calm. It might be picking the right bedtime story and reading it just so (or over and over) until those little eyelids get droopy. The struggle might even start before getting tucked in with that child who always fights putting on his pajamas.

Whatever kind of crazy goes on in your house before the lights go out, rest assured that you’re not alone. Mothers around the world are rocking, reading, cooing, and tucking in right there with you. And you can look forward to a number of relaxing, calming cocktails to help you settle in when it’s finally your turn to jump under the covers. So, grab your martini shaker and enjoy. Just be very, very quiet…

Warm Milk Is the Trick

The Feat: Got Through the Night Without Waking Up

Getting your child to sleep is one of the biggest hurdles a mom can face, and you have to do it every single night! Some nights, sleep comes like a welcome gift and your little one nods off in just moments. But then there are those other nights. You know, the ones where sleep is a foreign language that your kid doesn’t seem to speak. You rock, and sing, and coo, and lull, and… nothing. Then you remember the trick about warm milk and you fix a little for your tyke. Slowly but surely that warm, white broth does the trick, and before you know it (okay it took a while), your child is asleep. Now, what about you? You deserve a little something to lull you into dreamland. After all, you’ve worked hard all day, stayed up later than planned, and you have to get up early and do it all over again. Here’s a great idea… an adult version of the same magic. Mom’s Milk with a kick!

The Reward: Mom’s Milk

Makes 1 martini

¹⁄2 ounce vodka

¹⁄2 ounce hazelnut liqueur

¹⁄2 ounce crème de cacao

4 ounces cappuccino

Garnish: whipped cream (optional)

Pour the ingredients into a shaker half filled with ice. Shake and strain into a martini glass. Top with whipped cream.

Milk Punch

Drive You to Drink

The Feat: Lulled Baby to Sleep with the Ol’ Drive-Around-the-Block Trick

Putting a baby down for the night often requires a routine. Or maybe it just requires a route. A little late-night tool around town could be just the thing to make a fussy baby pass out fast. Whether it’s the hum of the engine, the sound of the tires, or just the gentle movement as the car cruises down the road… who cares. It works. Once you’re back home, and the baby is tucked in safe, a glass of milk punch—a Deep South creation that can be made with either brandy or bourbon—is sure to knock you out for the night as well. Unlike most milk punch recipes, this one necessitates sticking the drink in the freezer for a few hours to lend it a slightly slushy texture, which gives you all the time you need to drive that baby off to dreamland. So make this cocktail a part of your bedtime routine and dream sweetly every night.

The Reward: Milk Punch

Makes 1 martini

2 ounces bourbon or brandy

1 ounce whole milk

1 ounce heavy cream or half-and-half

¹⁄2 ounce simple syrup

Splash vanilla extract

Garnish: grated nutmeg

Whisk together all ingredients, except nutmeg, in a freezer-safe container. Place container in the freezer for up to 4 hours. When ready to serve, give mixture a stir before pouring it into a chilled martini glass. Sprinkle nutmeg on top.

Shake It Up Baby, Now

The Feat: Sang Entire Beatles Anthology to an Up-All-Night Baby

Having a Hard Day’s Night? Need some Help with a baby who wants to do nothing but Twist and Shout? That’s just A Day in the Life of a harried parent, of course, but here’s a little something to keep your spirits up: Every time your baby babbles, Koo koo kachoo, what she’s really saying is, She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah! Okay, all song titles aside, sometimes you have to pull out all the stops to get your little one off to dreamland. And if that means you have to sing every Beatles song you know, you’ll do it. That’s one of the great things about you, because even if you would never step up to sing karaoke with your friends, you’ll croon your little one to sleep every night. So, once your golden voice has done the trick and you’re sure the baby is out for the count, administer a little something to your tired vocal chords. The Yellow Submarine martini is the perfect encore to your Beatles cover show, so mix it up and sip yourself to sleep.

The Reward: Yellow Submarine

Makes 1 martini

1¹⁄2 ounces vodka

¹⁄2 ounce white rum

¹⁄2 ounce banana liqueur

Garnish: banana slice

Pour your vodka, rum, and liqueur into an ice-filled mixing glass and stir briskly for about 1 minute. Strain into a chilled martini glass. To garnish, cut a slit in the banana slice and perch it atop the rim of your glass.

Witching Hour’s Brew

The Feat: Managed to Get Your Kid to Sleep Through The Night!

The achievement may be your child’s, but you should totally go ahead and take all the credit for this monumental accomplishment. After all, it was you who swaddled him nightly, established a calming bedtime routine, read Goodnight, Moon to him twenty times in a row, and rushed to his crib side during all those 3 A.M. bouts of baby anxiety. And, you’ve basically been working toward this night since the day you brought him home. So, now that he’s sleeping through the night, take a bow. Yes, you can also take a peek at him, but no touching. You want to be careful not to wake him up since getting him to sleep was your goal in the first place. Now, what will you do with all this free time? How about making a Le Minuit, an intriguing, modern martini named after the French word for midnight—an hour you’ve got all to yourself again. All you need is a little apple juice and syrup blended with white wine and absinthe to create the perfect late-night martini that’s just for you.

The Reward: Le Minuit

Makes 1 martini

1 ounce Sauvignon Blanc wine

¹⁄2 ounce absinthe

1¹⁄2 ounces apple juice

1 dash orange bitters

Splash simple syrup

Garnish: orange twist

Pour your liquid ingredients into an ice-filled cocktail shaker and shake vigorously for about 20 seconds. Strain into a chilled martini glass and drop in your garnish.

Anxiety Antidote

The Feat: Got Through the Night Without Waking Up in a Paranoid Panic

Remember that night when you awoke in a half-dream state and started digging through your bed sheets, convinced that your baby—not yet old enough to crawl—had somehow crawled underneath the covers? Or how about that recurring nightmare you keep experiencing, the one about the elephant stampede in your neighborhood, that always compels you to get out of bed and go make sure your child hasn’t been trampled by pachyderm feet? You know these crazy dreams are just a symptom of a lack of sleep, but that doesn’t make them any less real. And, why is it that they seem to hit you just as soon as you manage to fade off to sleep? Well, those horrible hallucinations may finally be a thing of the past. You just enjoyed an entire eight hours of sleep! In a row! (Okay, it was six, but who’s counting?) With no catastrophes imagined or deaths foretold, it’s like a dream in and of itself. Toast your newfound well-restedness with a creamy, dreamy cocktail, laced with just a little jolt of caffeine, in case you still need a little pick-me-up.

The Reward: The Insomniac

Makes 1 martini

³⁄4 ounce vodka

³⁄4 ounce hazelnut liqueur

³⁄4 ounce coffee liqueur

Shot of espresso

2 ounces half-and-half

Garnish: espresso beans (or—even better!—chocolate-covered espresso beans)

Pour everything but the garnish into an ice-filled cocktail shaker. Shake vigorously for about 20 seconds. Strain into a chilled martini glass and drop in espresso beans.

A Nip after Your Nap

The Feat: Found Time for a Nap—for Yourself!

You’ll sleep when the baby sleeps, is what everybody and their mother (including yours) told you when you were pregnant and worried about how you’d ever make it through the next eighteen years on five hours of sleep (total). But that advice is easier said than done. Sleep when the baby sleeps might work if (a) you could also fold the laundry when the baby folds his laundry, (b) you found time to file your taxes when the baby was busy filing hers, or (c) you manage to wash your hair when the baby washes his. That’s why moms become so adept at taking five-minute power naps or sleeping standing up. Just the idea of grabbing forty winks on the sofa makes you want to smile, doesn’t it? So however you managed to find time for a nap, congratulations! There’s nothing more rewarding than laying down just because you’re tired and allowing your body to drift off to the land of Wynken, Blynken, and Nod. To celebrate, here’s a martini pepped up with coffee and orange flavors to get you going post nap.

The Reward: The Orange Restorative

Makes 1 martini

2 ounces dark rum

³⁄4 ounce triple sec

Splash coffee liqueur

Garnish: orange slice

Pour your rum, triple sec, and coffee liqueur into an ice-filled cocktail shaker. Shake vigorously for about 20 seconds and strain into a chilled martini glass. Cut a slit in the orange slice and perch atop the rim of your glass to garnish.

The Sleepytime Mar-Teani

The Feat: Outlasted Your World-Class Bedtime Staller

Your child is the best bedtime staller in the county and puts you through your paces (and patience) every night. But you worked through every delay and tactic thrown at you and the result is nothing less than astounding. Your little one is asleep and there’s still a bit of time left in your evening. Now is the time for you to fix a martini for yourself and enjoy the quiet. And wow, is it quiet. In fact, were the Parenting Police to storm in tonight, they’d be so stunned by your abode’s eerie stillness that they might actually accuse you of feeding this tea-tinged cocktail to your child in a misguided effort to get him the hell to sleep already. Of course, that would never happen, because that would mean one less martini for you. But with its calming combination of chamomile and just a nip of liquor, this drink should have you dozing off to dreamland soon after your little one is tucked in his bed—which means another rare first: Mom’s first full night of sleep since goodness knows when.

The Reward: Relaxing Teatini Martini

Makes 1 martini

1¹⁄2 ounces gin

1 ounce Sleepytime (or just plain chamomile) tea

¹⁄4 ounce lemon juice

Splash something fizzy (sparkling wine, Prosecco, club soda, Sprite…)

Garnish: lemon twist

Combine gin, tea, and lemon juice in an ice-filled shaker. Shake vigorously for about 20 seconds. Strain into a chilled martini glass. Top with your splash of something fizzy and add garnish.

Grasshopper

The Quiet Grasshopper

The Feat: Got the House So Quiet You Can Hear Crickets Chirp

Listen. Do you hear that? It’s called peace and quiet. Can it be true? Are your children really all tucked in bed and sleeping? No more squabbling with each other. No more struggles to finish homework, brush teeth, or put on pajamas. You did it! Chores are done, kids are in bed, and you finally have some time to yourself… quiet time. You’re so giddy you have to suppress a giggle. But, suppress it you must for fear of waking someone and losing this magical