Fangs Rule

By Amy Mah

"FANGS RULE a girls guide to being a vampire …. is a young Adult book for anyone between Puberty and Senility as it takes a close up look at life as a female teenage vampire in easy to follow A to Z advice for the reader, the book is also full of manga art which helps show the human world what life is like in a vampire world………. Giving helpful advice such as how to explain to your Mom that as a teenage blood curdling denizen of the night you would like to paint your cave bedroom black without having a shouting match over why you don’t like the way she painted the stalagmites bright pink to go with the large stuffed pink bats hanging from the ceiling.Everything is explained from how to polish your fangs to fashion tips and ways of climbing across a ceiling wearing a nightdress without showing your underwear.Fangs Rule is a must for every teenage vampire and from these pages you will see why Amy says “Vampires Don’t Sparkle! …. They Bite!Hi! My name is Amy Mah Vampire and here are some helpful hints from my book: Fangs Rule: A Girls Guide to Being a VampireGoing out on a date: Yes we all go thought the same difficulties of what to wear, the wardrobe will not shut but I still do not have anything suitable, so after hours of searching in the end I decide to wear black as it will match my comfy shoes, ok so I have more shoes than a dictators wife but only one comfy pair and they are black, why comfy shoes? Well I have no idea where we are going so what the heck should I wear!Now comes the date bag, why can’t a girl just go out, and when I say a girl I mean me, why do I have to look like I’m going for a 10 day vacation and not just a night out.So lets open the date bag and check if everything is there.1. Cell phone fully charged.2. Spare cash and credit card.3. Packet of mints for after eating smelly food….er…………foreigners4. Chap stick ….well you may kiss him and …….. it goes with the mints ok?5. Make up mirror, why take a mirror you ask, ..er …well if I get ship wreaked I can use it to signal for help, look it is just needed ok!6. Packet of tissues just in case you can not find a washroom when out. 7. Keys large bunch and no I do not know why luggage keys are on the same ring with my house keys.8. Sun glasses, hat and 100% sun block just in case you stay out early.9. A spare pair of panties in case I sleep over ……… er not that I am planning to sleep over … er forget it ok! Look I said stop giggling and forget it!!!!10. Precautions and protection, nowadays it is not just a boys reasonability for protection and so a girl should also take her own protection if needed, personally I take a can of Mace and a 10 inch kitchen knife and if that fails I sink my teeth into the neck! The author Amy Mah (Vampire) is a well known blogger, that writes and blogs as a cynical teenage vampire:Being a vampire sounds like it should be a cool thing to be as a teenage girl, like sleeping during the day and enjoying a night life with friends, huh, no one had warned me that it also meant having to suffer Teenage Hormones for so long! I am stuck as a teenager the years may pass but I am the same age! And as to the rules, so many rules, and vampire uniforms! Guys have long fancy cloaks that they are always tripping over and as to the Girls uniform, it is a 18th C Nightdress! The old male vampires expect a girl to walk about wearing just a see through nightdress with no underwear on!! as if that is ever going to happen!, they have seen far too many horror films! Life as a teenager is normally a living hell but even more so when you have fangs. The world is just out to get me, and not just by people trying to stake me because I have better teeth than they do!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Reardon Publishing
• Release date: Jan 14, 2017
• ISBN: 9781874192480

Amy Mah

About the Author The Author Amelia Mah is a 20 something snarky, sarcastic and cynical author who has a very popular blog of how she sees the world from the point of view of a modern teenage vampire Following the success of her first book "FANGS RULE A girls guide to being a vampire" she had now expanded the idea of life as a teenage vampire into a full novel Amelia has given her avatar her own name so you can see the world first hand from a very bored teenage vampire that has been forced to remain a teenager for far too long She may have very good teeth and the ability to hang from ceilings but life is far from easy. Today's world is difficult for everyone, especially teenagers. They face the stresses of school, deciding whom to date, and the biggie of sex, just to name a few. Imagine all of those things ten times worse, and you might get an idea of what it's like being a living, breathing teenage vampire. At last, the world can read about the life of a girl with good teeth, her problems with strong sunlight that gave her spots, and the sunblock that made her hair go yucky and produced more spots. Yes, sunlight was dangerous, as she could be the first teenager in history to die from terminal acne! In her everyday life, older vampires expected her to walk about at night in the traditional female uniform, a see-through, 18th-century nightdress, without undies! Well, this female vampire knew why the cold winds blowing along the corridors were called, "male winds," so she wore her see-through nightdress over jeans and a very thick jumper. To be sure that people would still know she was a vampire, the jumper had a very large, pink bat on it. At last the world can read the diary of a girl with good teeth and Amy does have very good sharp teeth. She knows that the world is personally out to get her. You could say that life sucks for her. Everyday she faces death in many horrible ways and it's called going to High School.

Book preview

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Reviews for Fangs Rule

[mrshemery · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

CoverI love, love, love this cover. The colors are much more vibrant when you're holding the book in your hand than what you see in a picture.Plot/CharactersThere's not much of a plot since it's an A-to-Z guide on being a vampire. The guide is smart, funny and educational ... no matter if you are a vampire or a human.The guide is being told to you by the author herself, Amy Mah - a self-proclaimed vampire.OverallEven though I have no inclination into becoming a vampire, I loved this book. I would recommend this to everyone ... whether you enjoy a quick, fun read or want to know more about being a vampire or you like quirky humor ... this book is for you. =)

[lizziebeth95_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

For centuries, it's been said that vampires live amongst us. That their way of life is similar to ours, even if they live in secret. It's also been said they don't eat, sleep, or even breathe. Myths surrounding vampires also tell us that they've wings and can turn into bats, amongst other things.With this guide for the every day vampire girl, Amy Mah puts all those myths to rest. Vampires do breath and sleep and they very much eat. There's just a certain etiquette one must follow in order to acquaint themselves with the right or wrong way in which to live life as a vampire.Vampires go through the same hardships as we do, but as the guide defines, they have it harder than we do. From the moment they are born, (unless they're turned), every aspect of a teenage vampire girl's life is dictated. Heck, they're even contracted for marriage way before they're even born.Despite that fact, this delightful guide tells us the right way to go about things in the vampire world. Undies, lipstick, fashion, boyfriends, food - you name it, there's a rule for that. Regardless of what you're told immortality is not a given, as vampires can also die. A vampire's saving grace is the fact that they've a longer life span.As depicted within Amy's guide, etiquette and proper grooming is the key in getting the best out of the vampiric world. And if you ever thought that vampires don't date then think again. They do. Just their way of doing things is quite different from ours. Plus, there's the fact that they bite.This handy little guide on etiquette and all things vampire in a teenager's world is a definite must have. It'll definitely teach you a thing or two on how to stay alive and co-exist in today's vampiric, and human-alike, society.So if you ever find yourself skulking around in a dark alley and happen to meet a hunky vampire, or two or three, just remember the lessons learned in this cheeky little book Amy has put together. Remembering the golden rules of being a vampire will surely help you stay alive. And remember, don't forget to carry around one of those handy blood packs in case you ever get the munchies!I so totally enjoyed reading this book. It's humor and insight into a teenage vampire's world was truly delightful. Humans and vampires-alike will love the sass and spunk found within every page. The advice offered can certainly be implemented into just about anything.The illustrations found within the book were very beautiful and nicely put together. I felt each one added a deeper perception to the story. The pictures were certainly eye-candy for sure. A definite must-read!

[wingedwolf · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

A very funny short book detailing life as a vampire. Particularly great if you've read the book. Amy Mah's worldbuilding is great, and her take on vampires is unique and intriguing.

[momgamerwriter · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Originally Reviewed at:Mother/Gamer/WriterRating: 4.5 out of 5 ControllersSource: Author for Blog TourReviewer: MeFangs Rule is not your ordinary manga. Instead it’s an instruction book which just happens to be a KICK-A$$-rocking-good-time. The life of a vampire is not all it’s glamorized to be, especially for women. No, they have it rough. And by rough I mean their lives are dictated to them, even down to who they’ll marry. Crazy right? But if you want to live among the undead turnlings or fit into the full-blooded vamp society, then you’re in luck, because Amy lays down the law in her ultimate A-Z guide.With witty charm and a hilarious personality, Amy Mah holds nothing back as she divulges vampire secrets so every teenage (female) vampire can be prepared for the lifestyle they have to live. From human boyfriends, to kissing and killing, if you’ve questioned it, she’s answered it. If you were too shy to ask about it, she’s answered those embarrassing questions too. It’s silly yet insightful, and sometimes downright creepy. Still, I find it a necessary guide for every vampire loving, paranormal craving, manga reading fan. And trust me, if what she’s described is true, you will need to learn the secrets in case you one day cross paths with a hunky piece of vampire meat. Furthermore, according to Amy the older the vampire the better. A decent 50 to 100 age range gap is perfect.For those of you who crave, or at least get a kick out of, gorgeous illustrations, Fangs Rule has those too. Beautifully crafted. Vibrant. Pulsating with tons of energy. I can’t sing the praises of the artwork enough. It adds depth and character to the story. Giving just enough detail to make you WANT more. The cover is stunning. Don’t believe me, take a look.See…told you.Overall, Fangs Rule breaks the AWESOME-METER. I highly recommend it to everyone looking to add a little something different to their shelf. It’s definitely a one-of-a-kind story and I can guarantee once you read it you’ll fall in love with Amy Mah too.

[cassandrabookblogger · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Full, non-spoiler review courtesy at Book & Movie Dimension a BlogHave you ever read a book that is a guide on how to act a certain way. Well this much the same but its a manga and uses vampires along with some humor. So really just more fun. In Fangs Rule, readers get to read about the real habits of a vampire and the true/untrue myths surrounding vampires.Many of the truths about a real vampire are very hard to accept or there are new concepts about vampires that are created. It's a fun light read with a lot of good humor.Amy (Mah) Vampire is a young teen vampire girl that wishes to help her fellow teen girl vampires with this guide of a sort of ettiquette they must follow. She is very casual about it and invites us into her own experiences as a vampire as well as with added beautiful pictures of those in her vampire family. Manga book lovers should enjoy this all the while with many laughs throughout the very attractive artwork pages.Overall: Amazing read!Genre:Young Adult, Manga, Vampires Recommend Ages: 16 and Up