Helping your child to grow up consciously: Practical and useful tips for parents

By Cristina Rebiere and Olivier Rebiere (Editor)

A child is for life. His or Her life.

Having a child is a commitment for a lifetime.
Girl or boy, your child did not ask to come into the world.
He or she is the result of deep love, of a thoughtful and driven will in the best of cases, or an "accident" in the worst.

Nevertheless, in any situation, the child is not responsible for coming into the world.
For his/her own existence.
Thus, he/she is not the author of it.

But the child must ultimately become the author and actor of his/her own life.
With precious help.
Invaluable.

YOURS.
Have you thought about it?

To understand the universe and the society around him/her, he or she will need an indispensable ally.
His/her parent.
You.

The role of a Parent

Parenthood carries more responsibilities than rights. It is the most demanding "job".

Being a parent, mother or father, is above all accepting that you are, almost all the time, in a state of becoming.

Because a child constantly seeks to:

play

explore its environment

push the limits

test, taste, learn

etc.

So, he or she needs someone responsible who knows how to set spatial and temporal boundaries.

However, these boundaries must... shift.
You must constantly adapt to the child who is growing, maturing, and needs to gain autonomy, to become the author and actor of their own life.

All of this can only happen if you are willing to evolve.
To change.
To be constantly vigilant, attentive, and in a state of becoming.
Even as a parent who holds authority.

For this, you need an essential quality.
One that must be maintained
Awareness.

Thinking and acting with Awareness and Kindness

Many of the things we do, the habits and behaviors we adopt, are not intentional, not even... conscious.

Our actions are often dictated by our past, our society, our family environment, and are not thought out or filtered by us.
Have you ever considered this?

In fact, it is essential to train ourselves to think in advance about the teachings we will impart to our child. This being who has been growing since they were in their mother's womb, then as a baby, child, adolescent... And whose development we are responsible for.

So, it is crucial to be aware of what we say to our child, of their questions, and of our responses. Of our prejudices, beliefs, reflexes...

This book explores essential themes to anticipate challenges, obstacles, and will help you realize the importance of your conscious guidance for your child.

So that this human adventure, built together, becomes one of the most beautiful of your lives.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Cristina & Olivier Rebiere
• Release date: Jan 6, 2017
• ISBN: 9781521034507

Cristina Rebiere

Courte biographie:Cristina Rebière est auteure de nombreux guides et livres. Elle a dirigé une maison d'édition, un parc d'aventures et mené à bien de nombreuses missions dans la fonction publique européenne. Elle est aussi spécialisée dans la formation continue.Ses origines:Après la Révolution roumaine, Cristina interrompt de brillantes études pour entrer à l'université en France où elle suit tout le cursus en faculté de droit et obtient une Maîtrise en Administration Économique et Sociale. D'abord chargée de communication dans un Institut Français en Allemagne, elle devient statisticienne à Bruxelles pour un bureau d'assistance de la Commission Européenne. De retour à Bucarest elle est successivement contrôleuse de gestion, directrice de maison d'édition, experte européenne puis professeure de français. En Roumanie elle fonde avec son mari une entreprise de team building puis le premier parc d'aventures jamais créé dans ce pays - construit de leurs mains - qui attirera des milliers de personnes, écoles et entreprises dans la pratique du sport et d'activités de cohésion en pleine nature. Avec son équipe, elle conçoit et construit des parcours d'escalade dans les arbres pour d'autres clients.Au rectorat de l'Académie de la Martinique, Cristina prend en charge la coordination de la Cellule Académique des Fonds Européens et de Coopération où elle accompagne les porteurs de projet dans le montage des dossiers, assure la formation en ingénierie de projet, gère un réseau de plus d'une soixantaine d'enseignants référents à l'ouverture internationale. Elle assure la gestion opérationnelle de plusieurs projets de coopération. Elle assure l'actualisation du site internet de la Délégation Académique aux Relations Internationales et à la Coopération.La pédagogie de Cristina Rebière est basée sur le pragmatisme et l'efficacité.Domaines de compétence:management de projet, voyage, marketing social de contenu, team building, formation initiale et continue, expertise en fonds européens, budgétisation, planification, productivité et stratégie, coaching, ingénierie financière, webmestre, statistiques, procédures, web intégration, conception graphique, communication, conception et construction de parcs d'aventure

Book preview

Helping your child to grow up consciously

Cristina Rebière

I dedicate this book to my son Marc with whom I have had the happiness to walk this path, hand in hand...

Copyright © 2015 Cristina Rebière

All rights reserved.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

I. Introduction

II. Questions you should ask yourself before having a child ... and even after having given birth

III. From the belly to the awakening of the ego

The importance of Truth in the relationship with the child

The anxieties that parents pass on to their child

IV. The awakening of the Self

V. How to help your child to better live his Awakening of the Self and facilitate this step

a) Doing things alone

b) Let the child find his place in the home

VI. Childhood

VII The distribution of roles within the family

VIII Adolescence - 13 tips to get through this period

Conclusion

Thanks

Authors

I. Introduction

There are many people, if not an overwhelming majority, who do not ask themselves important questions before giving birth to a child.

I am not talking here about the children who come to the world by accident, because if the accident occurred it is a proof that his/her parents haven't asked themselves too many questions about the future and the motivations of the existence of this child.

A child should not come into the world by chance or by accident, because he/she has the right, like every human being, to be born for him(her)SELF. The child did not ask anything to anyone, and especially not to arrive on this earth. So, as responsible adults, we should all ask ourselves lots of questions before becoming a parent and especially not fall into the trap of perpetuating the species.

If the human being has evolved, it is because he has a conscience ... I think he has the duty to use it!

My son, who is thirteen years old when I am writing this book, asked me the other day if I think that plants have consciousness. I told him the truth, as I have tried to do every time he asks me a question, by saying that I do not believe anything, because I have not thought enough about the subject. I explained to him that to have an opinion it is necessary to think, not just reproduce the opinions of others.

I imagined that he would stop his questioning there, even though deep down I was hoping he would not let go the subject and be happy just with my answer. For thirteen years I have been working for this. To get him to wake up his own consciousness and help him to use it.

I was pleased to see that this work is giving results, because he has not gone away or moved on, but he asked me if I had not thought about it, then what am I thinking right away? He pushed me, in his own way, to cogitate, just like us, his parents, we urge him to do it as often as possible. Reflecting by himself without taking the others' assertions as true or valid, passing them through his own filter to see if the theory is right, consistent with the reality around us…

I have then begun to reason aloud with him to his question about a possible existence or not of a plant consciousness. I could have meditated on my own and give him a finished answer, just as I could have replied by what was going on in my head like many parents who do not realize the importance of seeking a true explanation for their children, but also for themselves!

Children ask questions to grow up, to understand what is happening to them, what life is like…

It is difficult to imagine that our assertions, as trivial as they may appear at first sight, are important in the evolution of a human being. I think that if parents truly realized this, and especially the handicaps they create in the minds of their children by not providing answers, they would think twice before responding to a question.

And I am not speaking here of an existential questioning like that of the consciousness of a plant, but of the much simpler ones that arrive at your ears every day as parents: "Why is this person annoyed?, Why do you have to be careful with a knife?, Why are you sad?, Why do you laugh?, Why are we going to school? What is respect?, What is love?"… And so on.

There are thousands of questions like these that you surely hear from the kids, whether they are yours or not... As a matter of fact, it's not because a child is not yours that you have not to make the effort to think before giving a ready-made answer. Because you have the same responsibility to him or her as an adult, as to your own child! Since she or he came to ask YOU this question!

You should know that if a child questions you, it is not like when an adult speaks to you. A child does not provoke you, even if in adolescence many questions can take on such a deceptive appearance. A child does not come as a hypocrite to ask you a question for which the answer does not matter! He/she does not want to brag, show off or impress you with his/her vast knowledge... Nor is he/she trying to trap you or any other twisted reasons that are the specialty of adults…

I think (but I may be wrong ... We have to know to question ourselves and to doubt our own reflections, adapt to the changing reality and life that offers us examples to enrich our analyzes and beliefs...) that a child or a teenager comes to ask a question without a hidden reason. His consciousness, sometimes even his subconscious, is preoccupied with this interrogation and seeks a way to understand ... And even if he has a beginning of response, he may feel lost because he does not have the experience to be able to make choices between the possibilities resulting from his reflections.

Honestly consider that even as adults, we often feel confused and feel the need to seek an outside advice in order to help us see things from a different perspective. Now, imagine how vital that must be for a child or a teenager who does not have your life experience!

But back to the analysis of what happened with my son.

So, I have begun to think out loud with him to help him learning to think by himself. I told him about the experiments I had heard about the effect of music on plants. That a certain type of music (classical music in particular) had a positive influence on their growth. He was not aware of all this and was astonished to learn it. I asked him if he thinks that music, which is a form of art and not a mixture of nutrients, could affect the growth of a plant if it didn’t have consciousness. He did not reply, but my goal was not even to have feedback immediately, but to make him think and question himself. And he did it. Moreover, his subconscious continued to do so after the end of our conversation.

I remember the time when I had a whole collection of cacti, because these plants fascinated me... I was almost my son's age. And I talked to my plants quite often, since I had heard that it could have an influence on them. The bottom line is that I had the clear impression that it was changing things... I was already doing my own experiments at the time to check the veracity of what I had heard. I was talking to some cacti and not to others to see if it made a difference. Even though I cannot remember whether