Afterglow: Moving Beyond the Pain of Loss and Grief

By F.L. Richards

The death of a loved one affects the very fiber that makes us who we are in ways we never could have imagined or anticipated. We are transported to a desert-like wilderness where we must negotiate our way through a new, uncertain and unpredictable terrain. As we move along, we seek out oases that will provide some relief and refreshment. It is in the midst of these moments of discovery that faint images of healing may be glimpsed. That is when we are able to give ourselves permission to commence the task of inner rebuilding and rebirthing.

Afterglow...Moving Beyond the Pain of Loss and Grief is a heartfelt, deeply emotional work in which F. L. Richards not only shares his personal experience of sadness but also describes the beauty of what was, the reality of what is, and the hope-filled possibilities of what might be. His ability to reflect on a shared life of twenty eight years is guided and fueled by words which have become a profound truth he holds close: The pain of loss and grief is not as powerful as the gift of healing.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Fideli Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Oct 19, 2016
• ISBN: 9781370154227

F.L. Richards

F.L. Richards was raised and educated in New York. He earned undergraduate, graduate and post graduate degrees from Queens College, Hunter College and Pace University respectively. During his twenty eight years as an educator, he taught English at the junior high school level then went on to become assistant principal and principal of an elementary school.He is the father of two sons, one daughter and has been blessed with three granddaughters. His passions are writing and teaching. He has found a way to combine them by offering courses in creative expression to seniors in his home community.

Book preview

Preface

A Personal Perspective on Loss and Grief

The Treasure Chest

The Present Reality of Time and Place

Guideposts...Thoughts and Reflections for the Journey

Final Thoughts

A Special Remembrance

Other works by F. L. Richards

Author’s Notes

Except when referencing my partner as co-author, I am intentional about using his real name so that the content of my writing may take on a more personal significance.

Other than scriptural references, statements attributed to the author, or those that are specifically cited, the quotes in the body of this work are taken from the Bereavement Ministry syllabus created by Rev. Anne Atwell, Minister of Connections at Sunshine Cathedral, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.

Our Journey Together

Florida: Final destination, 2001

Dedication

for John

"Where can I go from your presence?

If I go up to the sky, you are there.

If I lay down in the depths, you are there,

If I go beyond the east or live in the

farthest part of the west, you are there.

There is no place apart from you...

for I know you are always with me."

Psalm 139:7-9 (adapted)

Rest, dear one, in the light of omnipresent love.

Acknowledgments

It is because of the support of many that I have been able to undertake the creation of this work. With heartfelt gratitude, I would like to thank:

John’s family and mine for loving us all of these years and demonstrating a beautiful, empowering unity during a time of great sadness in our lives.

Those with whom I am blessed to share the gift of close friendship...Nancy (‘Mum’), Rocco, Elaine, Bob and Nancy, Michael and John, Sandy, Jesús and Teri, Charles V, Ada, and Jeannie ‘Ish’. Each and together, their presence in my life encourages and sustains me on my path.

The members and friends of Sunshine Cathedral, especially the clergy: Rev. Dr. Durrell Watkins, Rev. Dr. Robert Griffin, Rev. Anne Atwell, Rev. Walt Weiss, Rev. Kevin Tisdol and Rev. Ty Bradley. By nurturing my spiritual growth, they help me to be ever aware of the profound truth that God is with me and all is well.

Dr. Michael Cristiano, whose compassion and professionalism have been instrumental in guiding me away from the pain of loss and grief to a realization that life does go on.

A very special ‘thank you’ to my dear friend, Nancy Major, for agreeing to transcribe this manuscript. Her spirit of generosity is remarkable.

"The memory of the dead

can indeed outlast

the monuments to the dead."

Living When a Loved One has Died

Earl A. Grollman

Living Remembrances, p. 107

Preface

Like a seed in soil, a thought is planted and takes root in consciousness. It begins to grow, relentless in its desire to develop into something more than its beginning and take on form and substance that is tangible. This simple analogy is how the idea to write this book came to be. I knew there would come a time when I would give attention to the seed of inspiration and commence the process of birthing it into something which could be shared with others who might identify with its purpose.

This task could not have been undertaken sooner because the burden of loss and grief rendered me incapable of being ready, willing and able to tend to and nurture that ‘seed’. It was ever-present but dormant. For growth to occur, I knew I needed to get out what was inside. That involved getting to a place where I felt grounded and strong enough to express the thoughts and perceptions of my mind and the deep, personal emotions of my heart.

In order to make that movement occur, I needed to develop understandings that would aptly express all that encompassed the experience of loss and grief, then become acquainted with what the idea of forward living was all about. I read several books and became familiar with concepts, definitions, principles and the perceptions of other writers. This was a helpful endeavor, but I began to realize that I needed more because what I had read