The Needs of the Heart
By Chip Dodd
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The Voice of the Heart: A Call to Full Living Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Perfect Loss: A Different Kind of Happiness Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
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The Needs of the Heart - Chip Dodd
Conclusion
INTRODUCTION
The Spiritual Root System™ is comprised of five sections: feelings, needs, desire, longings, and hope. The Voice of the Heart is an in depth presentation of our feelings: what they are, where they come from, how to live with them, and how they are integral to living a full life. As the five areas of our lives that comprise the Spiritual Root System™ lead into each other, acknowledging and expressing our feelings awaken us to our needs in a significant way. The following material presents the primary needs of a human being. It elucidates them, shows how to go about living these needs, and describes the process by which living in need leads us into relationship with ourselves, others, and God.
The most difficult part about needs is that we can do rational gymnastics over the top of them; we can anesthetize, repress, suppress, deny, and depress our needs. The way we go about avoiding our needs often leads to negative survival outcomes: we practice impaired forms of attempting to live fully without having to feel fully. Addictive processes, reactive self-sufficiency, and forms of obsessive and compulsive self-cures begin as forms of self-protection when we deny that we have needs. These self-protective survival skills do, indeed, defend us from getting hurt
at first, but eventually become self-destructive to relationship with our selves, others, and God because we become defended against all pain that is inevitable to truly being alive and loving. Simply put, we are capable of ignoring our needs, but we are unable to escape them.
The scariest and most vulnerable part about admitting our neediness is that we or someone else can always tell us that we are making it up
or that we should not
have that particular need. The difficult truth is that no matter how strongly we align with the world’s demands that we not be needy, we are structured emotionally and spiritually to have needs; again, they can always be suppressed, but never evaded completely. Although we can rationalize our way away from our needs, I have taught for many years that, Wherever I go, there I am.
There is no such place as away,
i.e., a place where we do not have feelings, needs, desire, longings, and hope. There really is no place I can go to escape my self. Therefore, to live well, I must face my self.
Facing, or even accepting, that there is no such place as away from our feelings and needs provides a spring board for taking the risk of turning around and facing how we are made. When we risk acknowledging our needs, we discover that we have been running from who we are created to be for quite some time.
Of course, this idea begs the question: Who are we created to be? I believe that we really are born to become certain kinds of people. The core from which we are created to express ourselves is emotional and spiritual, which renders us capable of living fully in relationship; we are made to simultaneously be integrated and yet unique, to be connected and yet separate. Human beings have three primary relationships that are integral to living fully. The first relationship is with our selves. When lived in a healthy way, this relationship can be as simple as recognizing, accepting, and responding out of how we are created. Secondly, we are created to participate in relationships with others. Relationships with our neighbors are built on the acknowledgment that we are needy emotional and spiritual creatures who are unable to find fulfillment without receiving