The Diary of Amos Lee: Lights, Camera, Superstar!: The Diary of Amos Lee, #4

By Adeline Foo

When his diaries are stolen and published, Amos thinks his world is coming to an end. But what he doesn't realise is that he's going to become really famous! Adoring fan mail, girls throwing themselves at his feet and, with 5,000 friends on Facebook, yes… FINALLY! Life looks to be turning around!

But when a TV Director offers to adapt his diaries into a TV show, Amos learns that a new boy will take over from him in becoming Singapore's Most Famous Toilet Diarist! Filled with insane jealousy and a desire to right a wrong, Amos vows to do all that he can to stop the show. But will he succeed?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Epigram Books
• Release date: Sep 21, 2016
• ISBN: 9789810739959

Book preview

Wednesday, 5 January

It’s the fourth day of school. I’m TOTALLY MISERABLE! I’m writing on scraps of paper because I can’t find my diary. Where is it? ARRGGHHHHHH!!!!!

Friday, 7 January

Still writing on scraps of paper. WPI said she didn’t take it. Everest had no reaction when I asked him, he just looked blank. Oh man... life as an older brother is sooooo tough. A typical conversation with the lesser mortals in my flat goes like this:

See, it’s always me. Amos, do this. Amos, do that. Or, AMOS, IT’S YOUR FAULT! My life is so tough! WHERE IS MY DIARY?

Tuesday, 11 January

Still writing and doodling on scraps of paper. I still can’t find my diary. I’ve looked everywhere! I’m sooooo going to KILL whoever stole my diary.

EVEREST, my brother, the mountain baby. He’s sooooo cute I want to puke. Obviously someone stole all the good genes from my parents.

My sister, the whiny, pesky and irritating brat. Or just call her WPI. The sickening thing is, in the last two months, she had some sort of growth spurt. She’s now almost my height, which makes me look SHORT, FAT and a LOSER. Totally depressing.

My grandparents. They’ve bought an apartment in China, and are happily retired, doing taiji on the Great Wall and tweeting to keep in touch with us.

My parents. Currently obsessed with who’s losing more hair. Mum with a thinning top and Dad with a receding hairline. Isn’t it the same thing? It’s called BALDING!

Poor Mum. I saw her crying her heart out when she saw grandpa’s comment on Facebook. Must be tough hitting mid-life crisis. Whatever that means.

Saturday, 15 January

Hmmm... someone sent me a Facebook message.

I deleted the message immediately. The cyberspace is full of weird people. Mum said you can’t trust people who call you cute, even if it’s true.

Monday, 17 January

I try to keep in touch with Alvin and Anthony through playing Facebook games. And WhatsApp. Before I discovered WhatsApp, Mum would always be screaming her head off at me. For my huge handphone bills.

How on earth do you chalk up THOUSANDS of SMS messages? Why can’t you just talk on the phone? Er... seriously, she is so clueless. Who talks on the phone? That’s so lame...

I was jealous to hear that they are both auditioning for their school’s English & Drama Club. Really, I wouldn’t have thought Anthony had it in him to be an actor. But he said it was either the Drama Club or the National Cadet Corps.

His mum supported him in choosing the easier co-curricular activity, to minimise the chances of getting bitten by jungle leeches. If anyone can beat my Mum at being neurotic, Anthony’s Mum wins hands down.

But I know the real reason. It’s something he wouldn’t tell his Mum of course. He just wants to get close to the girls. He said the cute ones are all in the Drama Club. Hmmm... I wonder what’s Alvin’s real reason for joining the Drama Club? He’s already got a girlfriend; Somaly. He can’t be interested in meeting more girls!

Oh well. That’s my two best friends. We used to be inseparable in primary school. But now we only get to meet on Facebook. I was kind of embarrassed when Alvin and Anthony asked what I was trying out for my co-curricular activity.

Actually, it was also the Drama Club. But I have a valid reason. I just want to avoid the swim club. As a former competitive swimmer, I know my new teachers would try to recruit me for the new school’s swim team. But I don’t want to, because I don’t want to be seen in my swimming trunks!

I can’t bear the thought of having girls laugh at me behind my back, or giving Michael the lousy excuse to make fun of me: Amos, the wee thing!

I can just hear him screaming with glee, relishing my humiliation. So Drama Club it is. But Anthony is right; all the cute girls are in the Drama Club. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, I can’t wait to show these girls how well I can act. Wait till they see me, wait till they hear me! I won’t be surprised if I win a Best Actor award at the end of the school year.

It’s expected! I write well because I read a lot. And honestly, I’m into studying what makes characters tick on the page. So will I be a fantastic actor? Of course! Imagine this, Amos Lee, the next big thing in acting! When I’m famous and popular, surviving this new school wouldn’t be as tough as I had feared.

Tuesday, 18 January

Writing on the back of an old journal. Life doesn’t get any brighter.

So I’ve turned to Facebook for help. I’m amazed at how much people are willing to share.

Remedies for constipation, anyone?

Ban all toilet squatters! They leave footprints on the seats!

I don’t know these people. They are some of the 255 friends who sought me out on Facebook. Now why would I guess these are girls? As for squatting on a toilet seat, isn’t that risky? What if your foot slips and finds its way into the toilet bowl? Eeeiuw, GROSS!

Friday, 21 January

I’ve set up a temp blog while still looking for the THIEF who stole my diary. No clues so far, as I’ve been busy at school.

FAMOUS AMOS

eblog

MY MOTHER

If you’ve ever been harassed by your Mum while doing any of these things on your iPhone, you’d understand why I say,

MUMS ARE PARANOID!

Listen to the iPod

Surf the Internet

Check Facebook

Tweet

Text your friends

Post pictures on Facebook

Bomb away… yes, in the toilet, duh… where do you think I was?

So I spend an average of 15 minutes in the toilet each time. And guess who would come knocking on my door?

Even with two toilets in the flat, she just wouldn’t leave me alone. I know why she’s always watching me like a hawk. Oh pleaaaassssee... I’m not doing anything naughty, Mum.

Sunday, 23 January

Finally, I know what happened to my diary. Someone didn’t just steal it, my diary got published! And it wasn’t just this year’s diary! It was last year’s, and the diary I wrote the year before too! Oh man... I AM SOOOOO DOOMED!

Monday, 24 January

Mum was mad with me. See, I was so sure WPI took my diaries and sold