The Tastiest Squirrel

By Deryck Jason

Alex the squirrel was fast. The fastest squirrel out there, anywhere, in the whole wide world. Humans below might catch a brief glance at him zipping from rooftop to rooftop, scaling the humans buildings like they were trees themselves. His father, an immigrant squirrel from a foreign land would tell him to slow down, he would get hurt one day. Alex always thought his father was too cautious. His father was right. One day, on one of his runs, Alex made a leap that would change his and his families lives forever. Leaping onto a drainpipe on a low lying building Alex slipped, landing in a grease barrel from one the humans' restaurants. As he struggled, fought, sure the end was near, a hand, a human hand fished him out. Shocked and disorientated Alex ran as quickly as he could for shelter, diving out of the alien hands of the human to seek relief, bigger down by the sludgy, thick grease matting his fur. It was then that something started happening, something Alex could not fathom at that moment. He was covered in grease, grease that was used by the humans to fry up all sorts of snacks for them. Chicken wings, rib ends, french fries, odd sea creatures they called Calamari. These scents were matted now in his fur and they weren't going away. This made Alex the "Tastiest Squirrel" in Canada, no, most definitely, the world. Whomever got to eat this little squirrel would have the best meal of their lives. After a short encounter with the areas top predators, the Coyotes, Alex was marked by their leader Jurgen, a strong and fearsome beast. This is the story of the siege that took place in the small man made park in the middle of the Human's city. How one monster of a coyote set about plans to devour one young, delicious squirrel and how, as word spread of this bounty, the other, bigger, predators who wanted to claim this prize for themselves. Alex, and his family, with the few brave enough to help were up against overwhelming odds. It's going to take a lot of courage and even more luck to stop the inevitable...

• Language: English
• Publisher: Deryck Jason
• Release date: Aug 28, 2016
• ISBN: 9781370820436

Deryck Jason

Born and raised in Scotland, I moved to Canada some years back and fell in love with the people and the scenery. Writing for me has always been a passion and an adventure. Life has a funny way of shaping people and I try to explore that in my writing.

Book preview

The Tastiest Squirrel

By Deryck Jason

THE FOLLOWNG STORY IS BASED ON REAL EVENTS. THE LOCATION REMAINS THE SAME BUT SOME NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE IDENTITY OF THE SQUIRRELS INVOLVED.

CHAPTER 1

THE DEN

With a piercing gaze, Jürgen scanned the faces of every coyote around him. His eyes moved deliberately from one furred face to the next. By the look he was wearing, one may have been forgiven for thinking Jurgen was disinterested in his underlings, but if one had thought that then one would be dead wrong. For you see, Jürgen had a certain way about him. He had a certain manner. He could seem cool, collected; even nonchalant. But, in a heartbeat, all that could change. That transition from cool to savage was as natural for him as barking is to a dog and all the coyotes in his presence knew this for a fact. This deadly personality trait blended with his rugged large demeanour to make him a fearsome leader. Naturally he sat, paws straight down in front of him, his back arched, his head low. He towered above the others even in his low stance. Those of whom who shared his company were generally fortunate. These were the favoured ones. A dozen coyotes sat in the main chamber with him. These were the territory leaders; these were the coyotes every other coyote wanted to be because to be in the same room as Jürgen was to be on Jürgen’s good side, and everyone wanted to be on Jürgen’s good side. I say those who shared his company were generally fortunate but because today they were not. Today, Jurgen was furious. There was a rage inside him. Slowly and deliberately he spoke, issuing a clear order to all that was not to be ignored.

The squirrel is mine, no-one else’s.

News was travelling fast about this very tasty squirrel named Alex, who was unfortunate enough to have fallen into a vat of old cold cooking oil behind one of the humans restaurants. Alex’s fur was now infused with a thousand different flavours. Everything from chicken wings to French fries, pork bites to onion rings, anything that had been cooked in oil by the humans was in that barrel ready to be disposed of when Alex fell in. Now, he was coated in the stuff. It covered his fur like ice covered a lake and the animals could smell it. Boy, could they smell it. Just the thought of this very tasty squirrel made every carnivore drool for miles around. It was for this reason that despite the anger in Jürgen’s voice there were also hints of worry. He knew there would be other, larger predators on the way. After all, the coyotes were widely known in the animal kingdom for being gossips. In the short time since Alex’s discovery, word had travelled of him far and wide thanks to the coyote’s love of a good gossip. With so much talk of this squirrel around, the honour of who got to devour him was one that Jurgen needed to have. To the coyotes leader, the taste was unimportant, he felt that because Alex was a one of a kind, a type of delicious oddity it was his right to have him all to himself. The eating of Alex would be his greatest triumph, a testament to all he had achieved thus far. He was the largest of the coyotes; the leader of the largest group of predators in the Calgary city range and no one was going to take his right away from him.

Inside the ceremonial chamber of the coyote hierarchy a dozen male and females sat with their front paws straight, listening obediently to their commander. As his voice raised, so did the echo on the walls and so did the hairs on everyone’s necks.

So far this squirrel has eluded you all. Can anyone tell me how that’s possible?

All were smart enough not to respond to the question, everyone knew there was no correct answer to give. Jürgen started pacing at his podium as they watched. Pacing was never a good sign.

In fact, three of you actually came across the little rodent and still you never got him.

Silence fell heavy upon the room. Three-dozen pairs of eyes followed his pacing and three-dozen pairs of lips lay pursed, waiting for Jürgen’s next words.

Ahh ha ha, none of you realised I knew about that did you? Well, I have news for you all

Jurgen stopped.

I know everything.

Bowing his head, Jurgen let out a soft chuckle and looked back at his underlings.

No, seriously though, it is pretty funny when you think about it.

His chuckle grew into a hearty laugh and as he continued talking his laughter bellowed around the chamber.

I mean, there were three coyotes on one squirrel, what are the odds he would get away?

The coyotes looked at each other apprehensively at first. But they could see Jurgen was enjoying himself so they felt comfortable sharing the laugh. All joined in, trying to see the funny side of a bad situation.

Oh that’s funny, being outfoxed, not even by a fox but by a squirrel! Who was it, who was it?

One of the coyotes felt confident enough to joke with Jurgen now that he was laughing too.

Who was it? Sir, I thought you knew everything!

Everyone, including Jurgen burst into rapturous laughter.

No, no seriously though…

Jurgen paused to wipe a tear from his eye.

…Who was it?

It was us, sir.

Who, who said that?

A young coyote stepped forward, chuckling with two other, behind him.

It was us sir, we tried but hey, he got away.

Hold on a second, I know you. Your name is Rabbit correct? Yes I remember thinking your name was an unusual one. It’s because you’re apparently very fast am I right?

"That’s me sir, I am fast, but I guess