Riding Uphill

By C.S. Singer

After surviving wrenching heartbreak, Melina Rose’s life as she knew it was forever changed. No longer was she living the life of the perfect family that she had carefully crafted – attentive mother, dutiful wife and successful executive. Melina now walked through her days with an emptiness that she never thought could be filled – until she has a chance encounter with a very sexy stranger.
Thinking she had a onetime fantasy come-to-life, Melina’s world is rocked when Lucas Hart, a gorgeous consultant, makes her his next project to conquer. A man who doesn’t take no for answer, Lucas pursues Melina and breaks through her defenses to make her feel things she didn’t know she could ever again.
But things get troublesome when a secret from Lucas’ past catches up to him and Melina’s ex-husband, Jack, decides he wants her back. Melina is torn between her two worlds, and as she struggles to decide what she wants, she finds her life in danger from an unknown threat. Melina must choose between an exciting, yet complicated and uncertain, future with Lucas or the security and familiarity of her past with Jack, all while trying to determine who is out to harm her and why.

• Language: English
• Publisher: C.S. Singer
• Release date: Aug 12, 2016
• ISBN: 9781370636846

C.S. Singer

C.S. Singer lives in Boca Raton, Florida. She is happily married for 37 years and has two grown children, one daughter-in-law, one grandchild and one grandpuppy. Previously, she has lived in New Jersey.C.S. grew up in a loving household in Massachusetts before venturing out after college with her degree in Business. She worked and raised her family before finally finding the time to pursue her dream of writing.C.S. loves to spend time playing pickleball and meeting so many wonderful people who also love this sport. She also loves to bicycle and explore new places. Life only continues to get better!

Book preview

Prologue

August 2010

Thanks for getting me home safe, I mumble, groggy from dozing on our way back from dinner with friends. I wake as the car slows, turning into the driveway of our comfortable, modern colonial in Glen Rock, NJ.

Always, Jack says absently. I smile to myself. My husband of 24 years is my guiding force. I always feel safe, cared for, provided for and loved. In my dreamy state, I reflect on my bubble of happiness. Jack and I share a great life - 2 fabulous children who are well on their way to becoming fabulous adults. Valerie is a junior at NYU, studying finance. She's great with numbers and analytics, but also has the biggest heart in the world. Colin is a senior in high school, working on his college applications. He's tall, handsome and an incredible athlete. Colleges have scouted him and he'll have his pick when the time comes. His skills on the basketball court have led his high school to be the number one team in the state.

We're so lucky. Or maybe it isn't luck at all. Maybe it's all the love we pour into our children. Raising a family is hard work, especially when both parents have successful careers. Jack's architectural design company grew from a start up operation with just him and his college buddy, Anthony, into a multi million dollar business that designs corporate buildings all over the world. Even though Jack has to travel often and work long hours, he never neglects his children. He makes it a point to be at all of Colin's games, visits Valerie whenever he is working in his New York office and is home on the weekends for family time. He runs his life like his business; organized and according to his liking.

I'm the family anchor. Even though being the Chief Operating Officer at a nearby hospital is a stressful and time-consuming job, I've had the flexibility to be home for the kids when they needed me when they were small. I was also there when they needed me more for guidance as they navigated through high school and inched their way to independence. It wasn't always easy, but what good end result is ever easy?

As I undress for bed, hoping that Jack isn't too sleepy yet, my phone vibrates with a text message from Colin.

Staying at Brendan's tn. C u tmrw.

We have the house to ourselves. Smiling, I slide under the covers and shift over to curl against Jack. He's lying on his back. Slowly moving my hand along his chest, I relish in the feel of his soft curly hair. He has a great physique, lean and muscular. Jack has a naturally fast metabolism that keeps him in great shape. Colin gets his good looks from his dad. Jack has an open and warm face with green eyes that twinkle when he smiles. He's generous with his smile and is an approachable kind of guy. People take easily to him.

I have to work harder at staying in shape than he does but am pleased that I have been able to maintain my pre wedding weight and still wear a size 6. My curves are in the right places and at 44, with my dark brown hair and chocolate eyes, I am still able to get a guy to look twice. Not that I try, but it feels good to see it happen every now and then. At 5'4, I'm on the shorter side, but everyone always thinks I am taller. I can never figure out why.

Colin's not coming home tonight. I whisper in Jack's ear as my hand slides lower.

Mm. Is that so?

Yes, that's so.

My lips graze his chin, enjoying the feel of his stubble. Jack shifts to his side so we were facing each other. His hand reaches over my hip and onto my ass, which he pulls in close to him. I can feel his erection pressing right into my mound. I lift a leg over his hip to provide an opening. He moves his hand over to my breast and begins kneading and pulling until my nipple is at attention. I move his cock to my entrance and rub it around for stimulation. When I know I'm wet enough, I spread my lips open pull him towards me so he can push inside. He begins his rhythm of pulling out and pushing in slowly, eventually picking up the pace. It feels so good. I begin to clench my insides around him, as my excitement builds. But, as I know from years of making love, once I start clenching, it won't be long for him. Before I can find my release, I feel Jack stiffen and freeze as his cock pulsates and he empties himself inside me. He hugs me close, whispering,

I love you.

Seconds later his breathing becomes regular, and his arms slacken. Moving off him, I shift to my side of the bed and think about how even though I'm left wanting, I love him too. This is what it should be like after over 20 years of being with the same person. Predictable, familiar, and safe. I didn't think it could be any other way.

*************

Jack leaves early the next morning for the gym. I wish he would've stayed in bed with me for a little while for some morning sex. Sometimes I wish that being with me would be more important than his gym buddies who all play basketball together every weekend, but I know his guy time is important to him. He needs to expend some energy after a long week working. He looks forward to these pick up games and his guy time. As usual, I understand.

As I drink my coffee and finally finish the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy, I think about what a great love story those books are. Sure, they had some shocking scenes and described some things that I'd never even heard of, but I find the fantasy love story engaging. I also reflect about the sex. Some of it is so new to me, some of it makes me very uncomfortable and some of it sounds really exciting. It's definitely a hot read.

Becoming a little wistful, I'm thinking that maybe my world is a little too sheltered and predictable, perhaps boring. Then I chastise myself for not being more grateful for all the good I have. While wrestling with myself mentally, the doorbell rings. It is 8:30am on Sunday.

Hearing the bell, I just sit there in my all-weather porch off the back of the house, looking around at everything just as it is. I don't move yet because I know by the way my skin starts to tingle, that this is the last time I'm going to see my perfect world from inside my perfect bubble.

The bell rings again and I go to answer it. Opening the door, there are two police officers filling up the doorway, one older and one clearly a rookie.

Are you Melina Franklin? The older officer asks gently.

I nod, afraid to speak.

Is Colin Franklin your son?

Nod again.

Mrs. Franklin, may we come in?

I stand to the side, holding open the door in response. For a freakish second, I think that if it takes longer for them to say why they were here, the better chance I have of keeping my world upright.

Mrs. Franklin, we're so sorry to have to tell you, but there's been an accident. I suck in my breath, not wanting to hear another word.

Colin's car was hit this morning by a truck driver who fell asleep at the wheel on Route 17.

I can't speak, so I just look pleadingly at the officer for the answer. He closes his eyes as he shakes his head.

I am so sorry.

My knees give and I start to sink to the floor. There's a wail of agony that sounds like it's coming from a dying animal and then I realize that it's coming from me. The rookie catches me before I hit the floor and guides me over to the sofa.

No, this can't be happening. You have to be wrong. My voice coming in gulps. If I can't process this information, then maybe it just isn't true.

My husband? I choke out, realizing I need Jack like I have never had needed him before.

We called his cell. He's on his way to the hospital. We came to take you there too.

**************

On the way to the hospital, I regain enough of my senses to ask what happened. Colin was coming home from his friend's house this morning, driving in the left lane to pass an 18-wheeler in the middle lane. Apparently, the driver dozed and the truck swerved left, right into Colin's old but reliable 2004 Toyota Corolla. The car was pushed into the cement median, essentially being sandwiched between the median and the truck. The car crumbled like aluminum foil and Colin's head got banged around too much and in the wrong way. The paramedics were there quickly, but he died on the way to the hospital.

I am silent. If I try to ask another question, I'll lose it. As we get to the hospital, Jack's waiting by the door. That's when I do lose it. His face is twisted with anguish. We grab each other, clinging hopelessly while we become hysterical as the officers usher us in to do a positive identification.

This is my hospital, so the staff all know me and my family. Everyone gives us space as we make our way through the emergency room. This is more tragic than anything this sleepy suburban hospital has seen before. Everyone is crying and hugging. It's the most wrenching moment of my life.

It changes everything.

Chapter 1

August 2013

I've heard that time heals all wounds. What a load of crap. When the wound is a huge gaping hole in your heart, the only thing time does is let the life slowly seep out through the wound until there is nothing left.

It's the third anniversary of our family tragedy. More specifically, it's the third anniversary of the first day of our family tragedy. After Colin died, everything slowly and steadily fell apart.

We clung to each other through the funeral and for weeks after. Jack, Valerie, and I found comfort together as we sought to make sense of it all. Friends wore a path through our home, bringing us food, offering condolences, and helping with the small daily activities that we simply could not manage.

Eventually, the world moves on. Under protest, Valerie returned to NYU for her senior year. Jack and I convinced her that staying home wouldn't serve any purpose. We needed to try to bring back some routine, some sense of normalcy. Jack and I both went back to work, lost in our own despair.

Work filled the days. It helped me get through the pain at first, then the feeling of nothingness. I worked long hours while Jack traveled. When we were home together, we stayed lost in our own grief. Instead of leaning on each other through the pain, we slowly isolated ourselves from each other.

On the first anniversary, the three of us still held hands as we cried over Colin's headstone. We left flowers and little mementos of his life. The basketball keychain that his gym locker keys were attached to, his favorite sweatbands that he wore for good luck were placed with the flowers - as if they helped keep him alive for us.

The second year, Valerie and I went alone. Jack had to be out of the country, landing a new design contract in England. It was just as well, the distance between us had become like a canyon. I was more relaxed when he wasn't around. When we talked, it was all business - the bills, Val's schedule, obligations with friends. To the rest of the world, we still appeared to be the perfect couple that survived a horrific experience. To us, the loneliness that surrounded us when we were together was our reality.

I sought solace in my work. Commanding the operations of a hospital, I threw everything I had into it. My staff respected me, and we worked as a team. Our efforts were rewarded when we were named one of the top hospitals in New Jersey. It was a proud and bittersweet moment for me when the only family there to share this with me was Valerie. She took off from work to attend the awards ceremony. Jack didn't attend. He claimed he had pressing meetings that couldn't be rescheduled. I knew at that moment that we were truly broken. After all the years I stood beside him as he was honored for his successes and the business dinners that I attended with him to present the image of a supportive and loving family, I was crushed that he would not do the same for me. In spite of our recent difficulties, I truly believed that he would still be there to stand beside me, showing me the support and pride I had always given him. It wasn't until later that I realized this was always how it had been, I just didn't see it.

I smiled through the event and was grateful that my daughter was there. She understood the pain I was working so hard to hide. She said good-bye to me when the evening was over, assuring me about how much she loved me, no matter what and how proud she was that I was her mother. She said I was everything she aspired to be.

Those words gave me the strength and resolve to start moving on with my life.

So, on the third anniversary I reflected on how I moved on. I was now truly alone. The divorce took most of the year to finalize. There were no real issues, just settling the business of two people who, because of the blow life dealt them, were just done with each other. Jack argued vehemently against the divorce at first. It was too much change for him. He claimed he still loved me and wanted to get back to what we had before. I didn't believe we could go back. Too much time had passed for me. I had tried for the last two years to keep us connected, but Jack wouldn't respond. Now that divorce was a reality, he wanted to try. I didn't feel much of anything anymore and the thought of trying to pretend to be happy all the time was simply exhausting.

*****************

My new house is my refuge. I bought a small place in a small town not far from where we lived. Jack kept the house. I didn't want to live with the memories there. My house is in Ho-Ho-Kus, which is a charming, quirky town with beautifully built cottages. Mine has a wraparound, lemonade porch - something I'd always dreamed of. It's cozy and comfortable and just what I needed.

Valerie is meeting me at my house, and we are going together to visit the cemetery. She blows in, as she usually does, her long brown hair flying behind her. Her big green eyes are the perfect combination of her dad's color and my shape. She's tall, like her dad, but shares my lean, curvy figure, and generous chest. Her presence could never be ignored when she walks in a room. The beauty is that she is totally unaware of how people notice her.

Mom? Val calls as she bounces through the front door, not seeing me as I sip my coffee on the sofa in the living room, watching her vibrant energy fill the room.

Right here, honey, I smile as she stops in her tracks. She gives me a big grin and hugs me tight as I stood up.

Ready? she asks, trying to gauge my mood. I smile back sadly and nod my head. Hooking her arm through my elbow, she steers me out to her car.

This is still so hard, Val begins. But it does get a little easier each time. The pain is somehow not so sharp, like we're getting used to it.

I'm not sure I want to get used to it, I answer.

Mom. She says with reproach. Nothing will bring him back. You made me go back and finish school and keep moving forward. Don't you think you should do the same?

I nod again. She's right. But it's much easier said than done. Once feelings have been turned off, you kind of forget how to turn them on again, especially when you're afraid of the gut-wrenching pain. It's safer just not to feel. Right now, Valerie is the only person who can make me feel anything. So I try.

How's your dad doing? I say, changing the topic. Val is as close with him as she is with me.

Good, I guess. I think he might be seeing someone, she says, glancing at me to see my reaction. I look squarely back at her.

Really? Do you know who?

Well, yes. I'm not so sure I want to tell you, though. Val has this half smile on her, like she knows just what my reaction will be.

Spill it, honey.

Peachy Mason. I gag and snort at the same time. It's not a pretty sound. Val laughs.

You are seriously joking, right? You're just trying to make me laugh me, aren't you?

Peachy Mason is the sister of Anthony Mason. Anthony, Jack's partner, and Mary were one of our good friend couples. But because Anthony was Jack's friend from college, they were more his friends than mine. And as it goes with divorce, the friends are split up like the property. He got them in the divorce. Peachy's also divorced. She got her nickname because she's sickeningly agreeable and thinks everything is just so wonderful. Peachy is empty headed enough to actually be proud of her nickname. Her overly sunny disposition, red hair, fake tits and mindless chatter caught many men's eyes at first - until they ultimately got bored. She is so not Jack's type. He values intelligence and strength, not arm candy.

I swear its true, even though I thought Dad had better taste. Val answers, enjoying my total disbelief.

What is he thinking? And what does this say about me? She's like my total opposite. I mean, if he finds her attractive, does that mean he was never really attracted to me? Ugh!

Mom, stop over thinking this. Maybe he just needs someone so different from you to help him forget what he lost. Val is always a voice of reason. I tuck that one away for later.

We arrive at the cemetery and fall silent, lost in our memories of a happier time. Although it is getting easier, the pain and loss come back with a vengeance on this day each year. Our moods turn somber, and we just stand over Colin's gravesite, holding hands and drawing strength from each other. This is what we need to mark the day.

Valerie drops me back home and leaves me to go back to her apartment in the city to get some work done. She works hard, even on the weekends, trying to make a name for herself and move up the ranks in the wealth management firm with whom she had interned with during college and then landed a permanent position after her graduation. Like the mother I am, I wish she would meet some nice guy that will treat her right.

I stand in the kitchen, not being able to stop thinking about Jack with Peachy, trying to figure out why it bothers me. I'm not jealous, or at least I don't think so. Maybe it's because Jack is moving on and I still feel stuck. Maybe it's because Jack is moving on with Peachy and I still, well, just feel stuck.

I have too much energy and nowhere to send it - too many thoughts in my head and no way to let them go. I need to get out and away to my little refuge. The only way to clear my head is on my bicycle. I took up this sport after the divorce as a means to remove all the clutter that was constantly swimming around my brain. I found that when I was on my bike, I felt free. Everything got a new perspective, even if it was for a few short hours.

Changing into my skimpy little bike shorts and my snug fitting bicycle jersey, I grab my helmet and backpack and ride out towards my destination, not having any clue as to what this journey will bring.

Chapter 2

I'd found this great little spot by the Hudson River in Nyack, New York. It's a healthy ride, probably about 15 miles or so, but so worth it. I love riding. The sport has also been good to me. All that exercise, along with the divorce, has produced a leaner, more toned, but still curved, me. I'm happy with the shape I'm in now. I have more energy and I feel good about how I look, even if my boob to waist ratio is not as much as Peachy's.

Arriving in the park, I walk my bike through a hidden little path and am able to sit a few feet from the river without being seen from the water or the path. I am surrounded by beautiful trees and can listen to the sounds of the water and the birds and the breeze without fear of intrusion by another human being.

The solitude allows my mind to drift away and gives me a much needed respite from my normal state of self control, logic and professional exterior. There's no one I must keep a face on for here.

I rode with a small backpack so I could relax in comfort in my little forest of seclusion. I quickly change into a modest two-piece bathing suit so I could enjoy the unusually warm and sunny weather. After all, it is nearly September, so I know it isn't going to last. Unrolling a small blanket, I take out my iPad, lay down on my side and tap it open to my latest hot read.

It doesn't take long for my lids to feel heavy and my eyes to start closing. I roll onto my back as I drift off. The warmth of the sun is intoxicating, relaxing me into dreamy state. My thoughts drift to the story I'm reading, another stupid romance novel with no basis in reality. I enjoy these books because they're so far from my reality that it's kind of fun to fantasize about these characters and their unrealistic lives. And the sex is pretty good. I figure I might as well read about it because that's about the closest I'm coming to getting any (no pun intended). It makes me smile that I have a guilty pleasure. I never did anything to feel guilty about before, as I had always put other people's needs before my own.

The sun warms my skin until I am covered in a sheen of moisture. My head is lost in the last lustful scene from my book. I dream of strong hands sliding from my neck, down my shoulders and a hot breath at my ear. Somehow the line blurs between my thoughts and reality. I feel my nipples grow hard and peak through the fabric of my bathing suit top as I fantasize about searing lips grazing down my jaw and then sucking gently on my neck just behind my ear. My bottoms grow damp and as I tighten between my hips. I'm shifting my legs as a dull ache starts between my thighs that is just begging for contact. Semiconscious, I move one of my hands to my breast and knead, causing further erection of my nipple. My other hand moves across my stomach and is heading south just under the elastic of my bathing suit as a soft moan escapes my lips in a sigh.

Do you think I can participate in that dream that you are having? A deep and smooth voice rolls over me.

I freeze, still keeping my eyes shut, trying to figure out if the voice is real or in my head with everything else. Then I feel his presence as he settles down next to me on my blanket.

I crack one eye open as I nonchalantly remove my hands from my private parts. I can't see much because the sun is behind him, but as I run through a multitude of emotions in a millisecond, I'm surprised to find that my arousal is still in high gear. The initial shock, mortification and then anger leaves every nerve ending still tingling with need. I sit up to view my intruder head on. He's measuring my reaction with a slight smirk as his lips turn up fractionally and a smoldering look settles in the bluest eyes I've ever seen. His full head of dark hair is feathered with grey, which suits his sophisticated look. He's dressed in biking gear that showcases his long and lean body.

What the fuck? I shoot out at him in as cold of a tone of voice as I can muster while struggling to regain my composure. My composure is still eluding me, but I don't want this stranger to know that. His smile grows as his eyes travel down to my still heaving chest and protruding peaks.

I apologize for interrupting before you were finished. It's quite the moving experience, watching you. I'm not going to lie. His eyes twinkle with humor. He looks straight into my brown eyes, which are growing wider as the seconds pass. I can't look away, nor can I formulate a response. Staring back, I'm desperately trying to sort out how to deal with this.

I could help you, as you look like you still haven't gotten to where you were heading. Will you allow me to assist? His eyes hold a sincerity along with the heat. Not at all sure why, I find that I'm not afraid of him.

I blink, not sure if this is all part of my dream. Tearing my gaze away from his face to take measure of the whole package, I rapidly conclude that he is fucking perfect. Long lean legs with muscles that are cut and defined. He has true biker legs. His hips are narrow, but his chest flares nicely up to broad shoulders. Nothing about his body is too much. Not too much muscle, not too much build, not too skinny and not too big. His face fits his body. His ocean blue eyes are the centerpiece to a beautifully constructed visage. Straight nose, strong jaw, the perfect amount of stubble and a mouth that has me wondering what it tastes like. Holy shit, I'm having a real-life fantasy.

He patiently waits while I finish my appraisal