I Can Do Stupid All By Myself

By CJ Hawk

What happens when a book shy girl, grows up dreaming about her next-door neighborhood boy as her dream fantasy man to marry. Then she runs into him as a twenty eight year old woman trying to find her wild side. When Mary Catherine O'Reilly, Mary Cate to her friends, finally succumbs to her best friends wishes to take her life style up a notch, crazy and wild things happen. Crazy as in doing things a reserved kindergarten teacher would never think about doing, wild as in experiencing the best orgasms of her life with the man of her dreams in places she would never have thought possible.
When one man tugs at your fantasy heart strings for so long and then to have it happen for real, a girl can fall hard. Only one problem, when that man finally gets to fulfill his dreams of having her and is afraid to commit, he can find many ways to make her feel as if he just does not have the time now.
Throwing a wrench in her plans to get wild and crazy for one summer, when her best friend who started all this, ups and marries a man she has only known for twenty-four hours in Vegas. What is even crazier is the man her best friend marries, is her fantasy man's older brother. Planning a wedding the demanding MIL insists on throwing so that the marriage can be celebrated by the entire family causes irritations to rise.
Mary Cate finds herself in a tug of war, of emotions, with the man of her dreams. Can one crazy fast planned wedding bring them together again or will Mary Cate decide she needs a man that can commit instead of finding ways to go around commitment?
Inserts from book:
"No this should top your bold scale. I want to make you cum while you stand there naked, looking out at the city lights. I want you to stand still while I let my hands roam over every inch of your body. I want to lick you like an ice cream cone and listen to you whimper until you scream my name in a full fledge orgasm."
He raised an eyebrow and smiled with those darn dimples. "Believe what you want Mary K but I was there sober."
"Mary Cate. You haven't called me Mary K since..."
"Since I played with your hair back in fifth grade, on the playground. I told you there was a bug in your hair but actually, I just wanted to stroke your hair. It was always so soft looking. If those kids hadn't come around I was going to try and kiss you."

The ride finally started going and we caught our wits about us. We each seem to take a long breath in and then I mentioned how beautiful the city looked. One more full ride around and then we stopped at the top. We sat there for a bit looking out then I realized John's fingers were now inside my panties and starting to work their way deeper.
"Just sit there and look beautiful. No one will have any idea. You're so wet and hot. Focus on the city lights while I make you cum."
Then I felt his finger slide in and out. I felt the slickness of my excitement increase. Then a second finger slid in and I felt his thumb brush across my clitoris. In a matter of seconds my walls pulsed around his fingers as my heavy breathing stopped and every part of my body was excited. I focused as long as I could on the city lights then I turned and bit into his shoulder trying not to scream.
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• Language: English
• Publisher: CJ Hawk
• Release date: Jun 20, 2011
• ISBN: 9781458135100

CJ Hawk

I am an independently published author that finds scraps of time to write with intentions to escape the perils of a working life while owning and operating three small businesses with my husband, raising teen boys, sixteen paws (yes four shelter dogs) and a tank full of fish that keep multiplying on their own every time we look for baby fish – free fish anyone? For all of the chaos, testing of mental fortitude, strength and intuition I have endured, I have a lot to be thankful for.Recent years have put my dedication to writing time on the back burner. There were a few major surgeries within my immediate household, to then have major changes in life in general. As of 2015, I lost my mother to the final battle of Ovarian Cancer. She was a strong independent woman that I loved deeply but often saw things quite a bit differently, yet only a mother knows, you love your child no matter what - and that love will always find a way.Between our business, teens, my mother’s cancer battle and life, I have found a renewed sense of what makes me content when the tides are trying to drown me... and that is to be creative in any whimsical way that nudges me. I am back to writing full force when time allows, painting, gardening, taking pictures, knitting or my all-time favorite thing that helped me morn my loss, scrapbooking. All of these things are so very therapeutic and to be able to share with others, gives me joy.I hope you like my books, not perfect as they could be; but life is not perfect and is meant to be enjoyed nonetheless. – CJ Hawk

Book preview

I Can Do Stupid All By Myself

Adult Romance

This book contains material that is unsuitable for those under the age of eighteen.

Published by Smashwords and Copyright 2011 CJ Hawk

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What happens when a book shy girl, grows up dreaming about her next-door neighbor boy as her dream fantasy man to marry, then runs into him as a twenty eight-year-old woman trying to find her wild side. When Mary Catherine O'Reilly, Mary Cate to her friends, finally succumbs to her best friends wishes to take her lifestyle up a notch, crazy and wild things happen. Crazy as in doing things a reserved kindergarten teacher would never think about doing, wild as in experiencing the best orgasms of her life with the man of her dreams in places she would never have thought possible.

When one particular man tugs at your fantasy heart strings for so long and then to have it happen for real, a girl can fall hard. Only one problem, when that man finally gets to fulfill his dreams of having her and is afraid to commit, he can find a lot of ways to make her feel as if he just doesn't have the time now.

Throwing a wrench in her plans to get wild and crazy for one summer, when her best friend who started all this, ups and marries a man she's only known for twenty-four hours in Vegas. What's even crazier is the man, her best friend marries, is her fantasy man's older brother. Planning a wedding the demanding MIL insists on throwing so that the marriage can be celebrated by the entire family causes irritations to rise.

Mary Cate finds herself in a tug of war, of emotions, with the man of her dreams. Can one crazy fast planned wedding bring them together again or will Mary Cate decide she needs a man who can commit instead of finding ways to go around commitment?

Chapter One

The dim lights of the swanky martini bar made it barely visible for me to keep an eye on the front door for Katelyn. It was my first weekend off for the summer. Kindergarten school officially closed on Wednesday, and Katelyn promised me a fun girl's night out. Only problem was; I didn't really know how to enjoy a fun girl's night out. I usually preferred being curled up in my overstuff chair, reading a book or putting gold star stickers on my kids work. Now that school was out, I promised Katelyn I would loosen up a bit this summer. Have some fun. Experience my wild side, even though I wasn't sure how. That was my first problem. My second problem was; most of my friends were now married and starting families of their own. Fun girl's night out, took a serious effort to organize and when we did, inevitably, someone or their spouse or kid got sick. It never failed. However, tonight, Katelyn made me wear one of her sexy black cosmopolitan bar dresses. She made me put on a pair of her four inch black Kate Spades, which I would never buy on my kindergarten teacher salary. She told me to practice walking in them, which I did for the last few days, only twisting my ankle a few times. She instructed me to meet her here at eight p.m., which gave her about a half-hour after her emergency-room shift to get ready at the hospital. She was going to round up a few of the other nurses or doctors and meet me here.

I'm not a rocket scientist, but I know how emergency rooms work. Most likely, the half hour she was already late, was some incredible story she would tell me about later. Describing fully what happened in the ER. It wasn't unusual and I usually looked forward to the entertainment value of it all.

I caught the bartender's attention from the far corner of the bar that I positioned myself at. I was hidden from potential strangers who might try to pick me up and gave me a great view of the front door. I ordered an apple martini and slid him my credit card again. Two drinks in under an hour were not my usual. I was a lightweight and knew this one I had to drink slowly.

I pulled my cell phone out to see if I missed a text from Katelyn. No such luck. I checked emails. Zero. I don't have a big social life. I checked Facebook from my phone and saw a few more of my kindergarten kids parents had friend requested me. I was up to fifty-five parents in the last three years of teaching and about eleven different staff members. I wasn't one to friend request. It seemed kind of needy if they weren't my close friend. I always waited for someone to friend request me. That or my extremely shy nature just would not allow me to put myself out on a limb and be rejected by someone.

With each sip of my apple martini, I felt a slow easy fuzz begin to take over my brain. It actually felt quite nice considering I was not a drinker of any sorts, and I had not eaten all day just so I could fit into Katelyn's size three cocktail dress. I was a five on my really good days, seven on my off days. I wasn't big, but I wasn't that dreamy slender woman that Katelyn was either. The dress had a bit of stretch to it, thanks to the spandex in the blend of material, but I was horrified to think that one wrong move, and I would rip a seam. The horror of that thought made me down the last half of my martini.

The bartender was not so quick this time to rush over to me. Things had really picked up, and his wait staff had him on his toes. Better for me, as I really didn't need another drink. I scanned the bar quickly and saw several young women, such as myself, dressed up in similar attire. I also noted that not too many of the men seemed as young as us lonely single women looking desperate. If anything, I would guess that average age of men to be ten to twenty years older. I mentally cursed Katelyn. She'd been bugging me to find myself a mature man that would give me kids and take care of me. Somehow, I was beginning to think this was a set up. I thought of all the times she told me that men our age were just not ready to settle down. I for one, thought that men my age were often found immature, but I was looking for no later than mid-thirties. I didn't want to be nursing the babies while I nursed my husband. Twenty years older was too dang old.

Just as I looked back into my small black clutch purse, I noticed the buzzing of my phone. I slid the touch screen bar and wanted to scream at Katelyn. Before you yell at me... She started out. She had that frantic I am so sorry voice; you wouldn't believe my day and how can I make it up to you. She quickly explained the emergency-room situation. A man came in with a slender cucumber broken off, in the back there situation, and he could not push it out as his muscles were stuck in a contracted state. I about gagged. I waved the bartender over frantically and held up my empty martini glass. He picked it up and whisked away to work madly on, hopefully my drink. I turned my back to the front door and hunched over trying to make it easier to hear what she had to say. By the time we were done talking, she offered to meet me here in an hour at the soonest. I told her I would try to hang in there, but mentally I knew if I did not get some type of food in my system, I was going to be drunk by the end of the next Martini.

I turned back towards the bar and angled myself towards the front door. My clutch dropped to the floor, so I bent down to pick it up. When I rose from bending over, there was an attractive man in his late thirties standing there holding my green apple martini. For the beautiful lady. He said it smooth, and I was feeling buzzed. He wasn't my type but then I really didn't have much of a type. I flipped my long brown hair back behind my shoulder and caught a quick gaze in the bar mirror at my green eyes. I was having a hard time focusing so I knew I needed to slow down on the drinks and only sip the heck out of this one.

His short brown professional cut and brown eyes danced over my skin as he held out his hand and introduced himself. Stan Colloff. And you are? Who am I? I'm Mary Catherine O'Reilly to my mother, Miss Mary to my kindergarten kids, Mary Cate to my friends, and I was not about to give out my real name to a total stranger. Megan. I quickly blurted out.

Just Megan? He smiled at me inquisitively, but I was getting the feeling it was more of a 'I want to eat you up' smile, like a tiger looking at a piece of meat. Megan. I replied meekly, and then I practically downed half of the apple martini. My senses were wacked. I never drank this much let alone on an empty stomach. I was nervous whenever I was out on my own in a bar. It wasn't the type of place I normally held a stool by myself. Now the local coffee shop, that was more my style. A little caffeine, some free Wi-Fi and my iPad, and I was golden.

Well Megan. Here's to the apple of my eye. He held up his own alcohol drink in a short glass and drank the dark liqueur in one fair shot. I watched his ice cubes clank around as his glass lowered in a slow motion. The sounds of the bar were starting to merge into some type of high screeching sound, and the bartender was looking like an oompha-loompa from here. I quickly wondered if Mr. Stan Colloff was really who he said he was, and might have slipped something into my drink. I knew better but tonight I knew I could do stupid all by myself.

Sounds were merging; images were getting foggy and Stan said something to the effect that we should go somewhere quieter. I was drugged, but I wasn't a complete idiot. Yet. I squinted my eyes to try to focus on a familiar image. It was a man approaching the bar, and I watched him fist bump the bartender than he turned to me. It couldn't be, I told myself. The last time I saw that man was my senior year in high school when I was a complete bumbling mess anytime he was near me. My straight A honor roll mentality dove deep into Stupidville whenever he stepped a foot near me.

Stan's hand was now on my elbow trying to guide me off my stool. The next thing I remember was screaming 'tape' at the top of my lungs, knowing I meant to yell rape as I was sure that was what he was planning on doing to me. However, in my inebriated state, my r was pronounced like a T. Then I remembered the whole world faded to black.

Chapter Two

The pounding in my head would not stop. Somehow, I figured if I rubbed my temples, it would help. The soft light of the morning sun was easing its way into the room from behind curtains that did not seem recognizable. The gentle rumbling of two voices talking back and forth caught my attention. One of them sounded like Katelyn. I finally allowed myself to breathe. I was not captive in Stan Colloff's house. However, I still did not know where I was at. The sheet thread count that touched my skin, felt like a high thread count that my low-end paying job could not afford. I let my hands wander over the luxurious feel then I felt the nakedness of my skin and wondered how on earth, I got that way. I sat up fast and held the sheet to my chest. I glanced around the room and realized this was a man's room in every sense of manhood.

The bed I laid in was a king-size bed with a huge headboard in some exotic wood. The large nightstands held only a thick masculine looking lamp on each one. One nightstand held a manly looking alarm clock docking station with a phone on it and next to it, a very expensive looking men's watch. I closed my eyes and tried to decipher whom the other voice was that was talking to Katelyn.

If I wasn't mistaken, it might be none other than my fantasy high school sweetheart, the last man I could focus my hazy eyes on before I screamed my lungs out at the bar. The slow painful memory came back to me as I slightly remembered Stan dropping my arm and running, and the man of my high school and adult fantasies wrapping me up in his arms. None other, John Gallagher. I wondered if he still had the rippling abs that he showed off when he took his track shirt off. Those sparkling blue eyes that looked deep into every girl's soul, or so they all claimed on the bathroom walls in permanent marker. That lush thick dark-brown hair that screamed for fingers to run through it. I wondered right up until the door opened and there stood a more manly version of my fantasies smiling at me with only the light peeking through the curtains.

Rise and shine princess. Your chariot awaits you. His smile was devious and those dimples he got when he smiled deep showed just enough in the low light of the room I wanted to melt back into his bed and stay there forever.

Then Katelyn's head popped around from behind him, and she slid under his arm that was leaning up in the doorframe and came towards me. She turned to John. Give us a minute. Then turning back to me with that sweet adorable puppy look she was so good at. I am so sorry. She spoke each word slowly and punctuated. She rubbed my arm, reached down, and handed me the cocktail dress. John told me all about it. Lucky for you, he was stopping in to check on a college buddy of his who was working the bar that night.

I had absolutely, no correct remembrance, of the entire night. The last thing I remembered was John gathering me in his arms, which was heavenly yet seemed so unreal. I thought it was another dream. I looked at the black cocktail dress and thought that is the last thing I wanted to slip on. I pulled the sheet off the bed and wrapped it around my body. I walked like a woman in a toga to the light switch and flipped it on. The enormity of the bedroom hit me hard. It was a huge room with wall to ceiling windows, thick plush curtains, large exotic wood furniture and off to the side looked like a bathroom fit for a king. That was where I was heading because just at that particular moment, what little substance was in my stomach, needed to make its way up and out.

Mary Cate, are you ok? Mary Cate? I heard her footsteps right behind me, but she was too late to hold my hair up