Adult Sexual Abuse in Religious Institutions: Faith Seeks Understanding

By Anne Stephenson

When sexual abuse of adults by clergy and spiritual leaders comes to light, religious institutions need robust procedures in place to deal with offenders and support victims.

Based on her long experience in ministry working with sexual offenders and their victims, and the training she has undertaken, Anne Stephenson shares the wisdom she has gained, including:
• Characteristics of sexual offenders to be aware of.
• Suggested procedures to deal with offenders and support victims when a complaint is made.
• The victim should only have to tell their story once, so they are not re-victimised by having to retell their story many times.
• The police should be involved.
• Mediation between the offender and victim does not work.
• Sexual offending in a religious institution is a breach of the duty of care that the clergyperson or leader has towards the victim. As such, it should be treated with the same seriousness as a breach of professional ethics in other fields.
• A victim can have a good future, (it may be hard won), and be a survivor.

While earthed within the Christian tradition, this book is for all faith communities, traditions and cultures. Anne hopes that everyone in the ‘dance of life’ will find something within this book to assist them in their understanding and then take responsibility for their own situation.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Philip Garside
• Release date: Jul 20, 2016
• ISBN: 9781927260531

Anne Stephenson

A freelance writer and journalist, Anne Stephenson spent much of her childhood reading about other people's adventures.  Now she makes up her own.  When not writing for nine-to-12 year olds, Anne is busy plotting how to commit murder on the page. And as one-half of Stephanie Browning, the pen name she shares with long-time friend and co-author Susan Brown, Anne also writes contemporary romance. The common thread is a love of writing, with a happy ending, and a nod to history in every story.  (Except forr Bitter End, a short story for adults, but there's hardly any blood.) Anne has an Honours Bachelor of Journalism degree from Ottawa's Carleton University.  Her career credits also include corporate communications, scriptwriting and television production. To learn more about Anne and her writing, please visit her website. www.annestephensonwriter.com

Book preview

Adult Sexual Abuse in Religious Institutions

Faith seeks understanding

by

Anne Stephenson

Copyright © 2016 Anne Stephenson

All rights reserved.

This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

ePub edition

ISBN 978-1-927260-53-1

Front cover photography:

Alexander Garside — Garside Imaging

Philip Garside Publishing Ltd

PO Box 17160

Wellington 6147

New Zealand

[e-mail] — www.pgpl.co.nz

Table of Contents

Title and Copyright

Acknowledgements

Introduction

1 — Why this book is written

How does all this happen?

2 — My growing understanding

3 — Religious Institutions: The art of being in unity

Relationship of safety and trust

Hierarchical structures and societal reform

Poem about hierarchy

4 — The pastoral role within religious institutions

A Theological perspective for clerical sexual abuse

So what happens when a spiritual leader crosses the boundary line and sexualises the pastoral relationship?

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs

5 — What is the mindset that gets things so wrong?

Psychological understandings

Psychopathy

Narcissism

Physiology of sexualisation for the offender.

6 — Good outcomes of clergy sexual abuse

How to treat a victim

The effect on the victim

Creating personal and social confusion

A victim’s relational tree is severely damaged at all levels

Gossiping

7 — What is healthy?

8 — Openness to the wider community

Publication of the name of the offender

9 — Awareness for a victim

Psalm 23

10 — Spiritual leadership

Boundaries and relationships

Projection

If you get it wrong (as a religious leader)

Suggested robust procedures for a complaint of clerical sexual misconduct

11 — How does the person offering pastoral care handle a disclosure?

Pastoral care for the sexually abused

A person has been wounded deeply. You are offering pastoral care.

Pastoral care for the sex offender in the religious community

Pastoral care for someone who is disclosed as an offender

12 — Self-care for the pastoral worker

Respect for the other person’s boundaries

Other tips on spotting a sexual predator

For the victim within your care

13 — In honour of the truth

Hymn

Closing Thoughts

Bibliography

About the Author and this Book

Anne’s professional background

Anne’s personal background

Book Description

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Acknowledgements

My immediate family have supported me through so much. They have been my grounding through much change and turmoil and have helped me to be ‘normal.’

I would like to acknowledge Bronwyn Phillips and her husband Graham. Their love and support to me has been constant. They believed in me and affirmed the good even when times were tough. They have offered me such, love, grace and wisdom throughout my life.

I am grateful for the Nursing Profession who taught me the cause and effect of professional ethics. If something went wrong, it was examined because it may prevent the same thing happening again, in other circumstances.

I would like to thank my Good Shepherds who helped me to grow and flower under their care and integrity:

The Rev Rowland Harries (Presbyterian), The Rev Jock Kinloch (Presbyterian)

The Rev John Denny (Anglican), Father John Curnow (Catholic) trainer in Social analysis. His clarity and sincerity have stayed with me.

Fran Parker ACC counsellor started me on my journey to healing.

Particular thanks to my ally, you were invaluable to me.

Thanks also to Bill Pratt who checked my manuscript. Thanks also to Jeremy T Smith who offered his expertise. Rosemary Garside did the graphics. Kathleen Fleck the calligraphy. So many trainers, counsellors and professionals have also assisted me with their understandings.

I pay homage to the work done by Desmond Long – he has humbly supported offenders and victims.

Victim Support showed me the reality of the word ‘victim’ is OK.

The Anglican Church NZ have been a source of pastoral depth when I needed it, especially the Revs Adrienne and Arthur Bruce.

The Industrial Chaplains who worked with me through very challenging times in Industry, together we learned the value of feedback to critique industry, great memories.

I have worked alongside many of New Zealand’s clergy and theologians who have had great faith, integrity and wisdom.

To the Holy Spirit who nudged me so early in life, whose voice was shared through others and then I came to trust the voice within. Thank for your guidance and wisdom, it has been an amazing journey. Thanks be to God.

I acknowledge that this book is hard to understand for the religious institutions. It is hard to trust what you do not know.

Let the light shine in the darkness of our ignorance.

Introduction

What I offer in my book is pertinent to other faith traditions and cultures, so please feel free to think your way into what I am offering. However, it is earthed within the Christian tradition.

My reflection arises out of my whole life and my care for people. I was a Registered Nurse first with extensive experience, then trained and ordained to a community facing ministry. This saw me as Co-ordinator then Director of Industrial Chaplaincies.

In this role, I witnessed dramatic shifts in Industry as it moved from largely men at desks, surrounded with files and piles of paper; women did the typing, then we moved into a broader employment pattern. Childcare became an important issue. We became a computer-based society, initially there was self-conscious talk about mega-bytes and Excel sheets. How we continue to change! Sexual harassment policies were just coming in. There was marked restructuring and redundancies and, during of all this; there was Industrial Reform with major conferences to enhance the changes.

Out of the chaos, a shift was then in place for a more service orientated industry with systems of feedback and accountability. There was peer review, goal setting and assessments. The shift was from hierarchical power, to how to get the best outcome by devolution of power to those who were affected. They called it a flatter management system. It was intentionally more egalitarian.

I hope my confidence in the world I know, to reform and restructure as needed, will give insight to religious institutions, offenders, victims and those who support the people involved with such matters. Positive change can come out of the current chaos regarding the handling of sexual abuse within religious institutions.

I have always sought community as well as Church education and offered service in both arenas. I have learned from people along the way. I will not share people’s stories as I am very particular about confidentiality. Too many people and their family systems have suffered. My