Life of an Aspie

By Kerrin Maclean

EVERDAY LIFE OF AN ASPIE is a comprehensive guide and tour to what Asperger’s syndrome is all about. Little or inaccurate information exists about this psychological disorder. Kerrin, an educated and well-read young woman with this disorder who is well known on You-tube and Facebook for her passion in enlightening people about Asperger’s syndrome, finally puts her vast knowledge and experience into paper. She writes about the disorder and relates her own life experiences, for the readers to know what Asperger’s syndrome patients, whom she calls ‘Aspies’ go through every day.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kerrin Maclean
• Release date: Jul 12, 2016
• ISBN: 9781370725144

Kerrin Maclean

I am an educated and well-read young woman with this disorder of Aspergers Syndrome in which I am well known on YouTube and Facebook for my passion in enlightening people about Aspergers Syndrome, finally puts my vast knowledge and experience into paper. I write about the disorder and relate my own life experiences, for the readers to know what Aspergers Syndrome patients, whom she calls ‘Aspies’ go through every day. I am into health and science. I am passionate about people and animals. I would like to be an advocate/voice for others that hasn't voiced out about their personal struggles and to let them know that they're not alone. I believe that there has been so much people that has been stereotyped, misread, misunderstood and more and that it's time to make a stand and a stop to this once and for all. I am a quiet, shy young woman yet know when to speak out of any injustices that I feel isn't right. I am starting to come out of my shell more than I have. I can keep a conversation going if need be of a topic.

Book preview

Preface

We’ve all heard about many people getting misdiagnosed from a young age with certain conditions such as Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) and so on from specialists. You may have heard of a guy called Han Asperger who conducted research in 1914. He found that his Autistic like patients struggled with everyday non-verbal or verbal communication skills, peer interaction, limited but intense interests (higher than average IQ levels), strong verbal skills and an awesome ability to remember details and facts. Aspergers Syndrome is a form of Autism that’s under the Spectrum of this umbrella that has been put together.

Asperger’s Syndrome, however, is diagnosed more in males than in females. Many of the diagnoses for women when they get diagnosed they’re usually the normal symptoms of the other diagnoses such as Schizophrenia , Depression, Anxiety issues and so on. Yet, beyond all this is a woman who’s trying to make sense in the environment that she’s in, and trying to fit in the world isn’t easy. I would also like to point out as I write this book on my journey, that I’ll be using a term called Aspie Girls or Aspie Women. Hence, this term reflects on people like me that have been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome (AS). Yet, we need to understand that Aspergers Syndrome isn’t a disease, but a condition that does exist and we all need to be aware of it.

The term Aspie also has been defined from Urban Dictionary.com as this; An Aspie is one who has Aspergers Syndrome, which is believed to be part of the Autism Spectrum. Aspies, while being quite gifted verbally, have social, emotional, and sensory integration difficulties, among others. Aspie is an affectionate term and isn’t meant as a put down.

With these conditions in mind, I’m hoping to reach to you (the readers), to share my story and journey of living with Aspergers Syndrome (AS). The purpose of writing this book is to increase awareness; serves as an eye opener that Aspergers Syndrome does exist, as well as sharing my joys, sorrows, pain, successes, triumphs and losses along the way.

Moreover, I want to welcome you to my life of being normal in which we know that Normal is so underrated these days, as well as looking outside of the box of hidden treasures inside. Every woman is a hero in her own unique way.

Yes, we all have our own battles in our lives but how we live it and take it on matters. These all take courage and determination for us women, to thrive more and carry on. I also hope that if any of the readers are specialists, that they’ll become aware that Aspergers Syndrome does exist and that they’ll be able to spot it early and diagnose it early also. Also, that the specialists can stop Aspergers Syndrome in its tracks and before it starts. Also, to be sure that they can offer valuable tools, resources, and therapies for people that do suffer from Aspergers Syndrome They do need to catch up more on the Aspergers Syndrome in females than in males; as the rate is increasing predominantly females than it has ever done before.

Living with Aspergers Syndrome for me isn’t easy. It’s a battle I face every day, with lots of challenges. Yet, I believe that these difficulties, with the right help and understanding from others, won’t become so lonely and bleak. To me, I’m a strong and independent woman with Aspergers Syndrome. Yet, I can do anything as this is up to me at the end of the day; how I’m going to live my life, as I don’t want to let Aspergers Syndrome rule my life forever. This is all about the choices that we all face and make through the good and the bad. These choices will influence us in the present as well as in the future.

After being diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, it was a relief and whole weight off my shoulders as I was glad after reading up on people’s experiences through different books, I knew that I wasn’t alone. I didn’t have to go through it alone, as I was walking the same journey as the ones that I read about. It’s however very common with us having Aspergers Syndrome, having some other related a condition that comes with the territory of Aspergers Syndrome such as: with me, I suffer from Depression, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and in earlier teens, I was diagnosed with early Psychosis. Let me tell you that there’s a lack of understanding and awareness of Aspergers Syndrome yet it’s not the members of the public’s fault. As it’s a silent condition that occurs in females more now than it did in the early 80s.

Introduction

Today, for most of us women, we’re usually on a spectrum umbrella of a subculture within a subculture. What do I mean? There has been a subdivision of certain national cultures that are encased in and within an integrated network of different behaviours, beliefs, and attitudes to a certain degree where everyday people choose to accept or reject certain ideas or theories that are put into practice today.

Fact:

As many as 50% of people with Aspergers Syndrome may be undiagnosed.

Asperger/Autism Network (AANE)

Mostly, all women, young and old, have similar challenges, habits, traits and outlooks as men, but with their own spin towards it. With Aspergers Syndrome (AS), however, this does present differently in young girls and women of all ages. Yet, this is perceived differently in their eyes; which therefore hasn’t always been recognised until recently.

I believe strongly that life’s a journey, and each one of us is heading towards our destination. Each destination that we come to face in our life does sure as hell test us of the everyday situations that we do face. Yes, life isn’t supposed to be made easy for us, as this does test our inner strength and being, as well as patience.

The quote, "Life is a journey, not a destination" was said by Ralph Waldo Emerson. I feel in all fairness, that’s how we ourselves measure successes and failures in our lives or even how or what we make of ourselves in life. What we do in our lives is up to us and no one else, as no one can live our life, or tell us what to do. Yet, we do have a voice to be heard. We got choices to make every day and, we shouldn’t have to follow everyone else or try to please everyone else around us. We only live once; therefore, we should be free to do what we want, when we want. Yet, we need to realise that there’ll always be dire consequences that’ll follow, based on the choices that we make. We all have our struggles, battles, and scars from everyday situations we face. Sometimes, we also tend to lose ourselves just by sacrificing other important values and morals that we live by. Sometimes, when we just arrive at a certain point in our lives such as; happiness and hope, we feel that we should just stop there. For some of us, when we reach a certain age in life, we realise that we’ve wasted most of our best years, worrying about how things should’ve or could’ve been, chasing something that didn’t really exist or was just in front of us the entire time.

Moreover, we should at least enjoy every part of life as it comes. We should at least, enjoy life, embracing it by being happy and at peace within ourselves and others around us. We should always live in the present and not worry too much about a future that hasn’t arrived yet. Life’s also about learning the everyday lessons along the way. The trials and challenges we endure and face can determine everything about us and our future. Life is also about self-discovery – finding out who and what we really are as a person. I’ve got a strong belief that we all have a purpose and a reason in life as this is to why we’re here today – to make a better life today begin with us starting today.

Most of the information out there’s limited, and that give off the wrong impression of what Aspergers Syndrome is really about, for those who have it. It’s not the doom and gloom of it all, as it is simply not an Illness as some specialists may claim. NO, it’s far from it. Aspergers Syndrome is basically a different way of how we live our lives, compared to anyone else that’s not like us. In fact, most of the time, most people would glorify the opportunity of this to an extent where they think it’s cool and awesome and also superior to the Neurotypical mind. I don’t wish to say that this is cool and awesome, or making out that Aspies are superior to anyone else that make acquaintance with us in our journey. In my opinion, we’re all equal; no matter who and what we are as an individual. The only thing is that we Aspies are the minority. This means that we need to get more work done to make more awareness of this, to gather and research more information to become more accessible to the public. That’ll then raise more awareness and open to the public, what Aspergers Syndrome is really about.

Most problems that we come across are that we have people who misjudge, misread us, miscommunicate or even misunderstand what we are despite our Meltdowns. I felt at the time of writing this book of my life story, that it’ll be an eye opener, as well as a sign of awareness, understanding and knowledge. I wanted to address the differences between the males and females with Aspergers Syndrome by looking inside my life and journey with Aspergers Syndrome and giving others hope. However, I’ve come to realise this now more than ever that Aspergers Syndrome is now being diagnosed more in females than it has before, as this might be due to Aspergers Syndrome being masked over with other diagnoses. Hence, emphasizing what I just mentioned before. We need to remember that we might not be diagnosed with Autism as a child.

I’ve got several aims in writing my book since I love health and science, as well as other subjects. My main desire here is to create a better understanding and awareness about me and others who have Aspergers Syndrome. I would like to get rid of the stereotyping that people have about Aspergers Syndrome, especially the mentality and attitude that all people with Aspergers Syndrome are the same with similar traits, thinking and behaviours. NO, we’re far from being the same. We’re all different and unique; therefore, we need to be accepted in everything that we do. People diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome are said to be diagnosed at different ages, genders, and stages in life. There are different stages we need to go through before we find out that we have Aspergers Syndrome in adult life, and they are as follows:

Awareness: Sometimes, when wewe've, been told that we have Aspergers Syndrome, or even after finding out that we have got Aspergers Syndrome, it can sometimes be a bitter pill for us to swallow at first, and accept that we have this. Despite the information given to us, it doesn’t hit home with most of us. At this point, some of us having Aspergers Syndrome or been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome will then come to the stage of experiencing some resistance and denial, thinking that It’s not true, this can’t be happening to me and more thinking patterns like this.

Knowing: This is the irreversible understanding that we’ve got Aspergers Syndrome By then, reality clicks in for us.

Validation: Having Aspergers Syndrome explains so much for people with it, and explains so much in life that there’s no rhyme or reason to why it happened, as well as having questions that mayn’t be answered, or clear enough for us to understand. There’ll always be series of moments, not just one moment, when we’ll feel this way as this will continue for many years to come.

Relief: We can now feel more at ease with ourselves after being diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome and move forward. Even if we don’t know for sure what our burden is until we’re fully diagnosed, most people with Aspergers Syndrome won’t be carrying this burden around with them.

Worry: We sometimes come to the stage in our lives where we’ll have questions that again will be unanswered, such as What’ll my future be like with Aspergers Syndrome? What it means as well as how it can affect the potential I have or may have.

Anger: Some of us who’ve been misdiagnosed at an early age will have so much blame and guilt of what had been shared with us by medical professionals that are laid upon us as well as others and hopefully, we get to the last stage as quickly as we can.

Acceptance/Thriving: After being diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, we know that we all have special gifts and talents and we should use these to our advantage, by showing others what we can do and our ability to strive for success and much more.

a) My first aim for writing this book is to ensure that people with Aspergers Syndrome are never alone; and that, they can feel authorised, not to be stigmatised, to be self-esteemed and self-conscious of what they’ve got, and know that anything is possible. I’m willing to share my experiences with Aspergers Syndrome and more with people by either being an advocate as we do not need to do it alone.

b) The second aim is to help people with Aspergers Syndrome to defeat Depression. Depression comes into play with Aspergers Syndrome However, we can defeat this, despite it being an invisible enemy in our lives that steals our happiness, wealth, and health. The reason why Depression is our enemy is that it blinds us and side-tracks.

c) The last and final aim of writing this book are to also help professionals in the medical profession to learn how to spot the signs of Aspergers Syndrome early as possible, or preferably, before it starts, to hopefully find some alternative treatments and therapies for people with Aspergers Syndrome.

While writing this book on my daily encounters with Aspergers Syndrome, I face situations every day- which is similar to the Neurotypicals as well as people with Aspergers Syndrome-, I’ll openly reveal to you all what I cope with it every day, and to gain a better understanding about me as a person, after all, I’m still human too. So, I hope that we can learn from each other’s life and experiences along the way, and be able to be helpers or as some people may want to call themselves; LifeSavers for people to make life easier for each and every of us.

Part One

World of Differences:

Life’s Little Treasures in a Chest

Everybody that comes into our lives is there for a reason and a purpose. Sometimes, some people test us, build us or tear us down. People come and go in our lives within a season, and reasons best known to them. Yet, everyone we meet in our lives is special and unique regardless of what they may have. Some of these people that’ve got different conditions (character) can teach us valuable life lessons along the way. However, we should always be patient, understanding, compassionate, empathetic and more. The people that I’ve met in my life, despite what conditions they’ve got at whatever age or stage in their life, are still humans and, they still need the same treatment that we "Normal" people take for granted.

Fact:

People with Aspergers Syndrome have normal to very high intelligence and have good verbal skills

"Asperger/Autism Network

Despite all this, I believe that we can make a difference today with everybody, not just a selected few. I also believe that despite the differences we’ve got, some people are afraid of being different as they may tend to think that we’re too hard to understand, too hard to reach out to and more. But, despite being different, it can be sure as hell scary, challenging and lots more. It’s what we do with this (our life) that creates a better life for us and others that are in our lives.

Life’s little treasures to me mean so much more than you can possibly imagine. It’s about accepting our differences as well as everything in us as a person. However, treasure has so many different meanings and how they can be defined are as follows:

1) A valuable person or an item such as; a collection of money or jewellery as well as other valuables in our possession.

2) To find value in a person or item. For example: How I look at Treasure, is someone that is being appreciative of a wonderful friend or one being considered as valuable and precious.

Myths About Autism & Autism Spectrum Disorders

There’ve been so many myths and different viewpoints from clinical experts and researchers alike about what really causes Autism and other Autism Spectrum Disorder conditions. Yet, I want to clarify and to create a better understanding and awareness for you readers to get rid of the stereotyping and judgmental views and thinking, about people with Aspergers Syndrome, Autism Spectrum Disorders, Autism and more. There are only a few myths that’ve been thought about people with Autism Spectrum Disorders and other autistic conditions.

Myth 1: Many children and young adults that have Autism Spectrum Disorders don’t care about others.

Fact: This myth isn’t true as there are a few minorities of people with ASD that do care for others around them. And, they’re the ones that get hurt the most, as they put themselves out there and on the line for others. They’re the ones who care so deeply for others, as most of us do have sensitive feelings, but some of those who suffer from Autism Spectrum Disorders, do lack the ability to develop empathetic and socially connected behaviours towards others, as well as to themselves.

Some people with Autism Spectrum Disorders, however, do tend to misread or even misinterpret the cues of the body language, emotions and thinking from others, as well to what you say to them also. Myth 2: Children and young adults with Autism Spectrum Disorders prefer to isolate themselves.

Fact: This myth isn’t true to me as many of us with Autism Spectrum Disorders love to socialise with people, as well as interacting and engaging with others around us. Yet many of us do tend to lack the ability to develop the social interaction skills at a young age and may find it difficult later on in life to engage and interact with people. Sometimes, due to people’s ignorance, stereotyping and assumptions about people that have Autism Spectrum Disorders and other autistic conditions, it usually becomes difficult to actually interact and engage with people no matter what they are and who they are. If we can get rid of the assumptions, stereotyping of others and just accept each other’s differences no matter what it is we’ve got and it’ll then become easier over time to get along. As mentioned earlier, many of us do need acceptance and more to get ahead in life.

Myth 3: ASD Children and young adults with Autism Spectrum Disorders can’t learn social skills.

Fact: Children and young adults with Autism Spectrum Disorders, sure as hell can learn social skills and lots more. There is no such word as Can’t in our dictionary, as we tend to push more on ourselves to actually aim and achieve the desired results and outcomes, to any possible solutions and situations that we’ll face. We push ourselves harder to gain the skills set that are required from us, as well as having the right people with the right attitude and thinking, to receive the individualised and specialised training and instructions. Anything is possible, yet it’s up to us how we’ll go about it as everything starts and ends with us at the end of the day. Sometimes, some of us with Autism Spectrum Disorders can be really competitive so as to achieve what we want in life. We are really self-disciplined and self-motivated. Some Normal people may need to learn a few aspects of life through us. And, you’ll be grateful seeing through our lives, in a different light, which may work and be applicable to your own lives.

Some people may think of us as a threat, once we do achieve and gain knowledge and success. Yet, we’re all humans; and we do the same thing as others do but we do realise it to some point that all these things could be contradicting and might not fit into our mold of what’s needed to be done.

Myth 4: Autism Spectrum Disorders in children and young adults are caused by poor parenting or parental behaviours.

Fact: This isn’t true, as parents don’t and can’t cause Autism Spectrum Disorders. The multiple causes for Autism Spectrum Disorders are unknown, and still needs to be researched to gain more knowledge and insights of Autism Spectrum Disorders. Yet, my only hope is to remove everyone’s mentality, as well as the stereotyping of people with Autism Spectrum Disorders, and removing that attitude and mentality that others seem to know more than us or know more about us, which they clearly don’t ; as some people just tend to have a mind-set and go with it. We all know what and who we are as a person. Yet it shouldn’t matter what others around us think about us, as it’s their loss if they don’t to want to know us as a person underneath the labels of Autism, Aspergers Syndrome and more in the first place as this is their loss in the end, not ours.

Myth 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder is a behavioural/emotional/ mental health disorder.

Fact: Yes! This has been told to many of us that’ve been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorders and other conditions that there is. Yet, I want to tell you all, that, I don’t like the word Disorder; I don’t condone this word. This word Disorder to me is defined as an impairment or dysfunction of the mental and physical ability to what we can and can’t do in our everyday lives. I feel we should take the word Disorder out of the dictionary, as well as out of the context of what we see it defined as. I see it defined as, being unfit mind and body. People with Autism Spectrum Disorders and Autistic like conditions are actual as a matter of fact, Developmental and Neurobiological. Some other disorders or diagnoses as said before for a female, however, do tend to wrap around with other conditions such as Schizophrenia, Depression, Obsessive Compulsive Disorders and more. These type conditions can manifest in any early years of childhood, and are likely to stay for a lifetime in that person. It’s who they are and what they are. It’s a part of them,