More RV Chuckles and Chuckholes: More Confessions of Happy Campers

By Darlene Miller

Darlene Miller has a second book about the RV lifestyle which is full of amusing anecdotes, jokes, adventures and chuckhole experiences while traveling throughout the USA and Canada. It includes stories about the search for the white Kermodei bear in British Columbia; how to stay in touch with your grandchildren while traveling and bond with other RVers while parked in the desert around Quartzsite, Arizona. Guest contributors write about the quest for New Mexican chilies; what happens when the windshield breaks in the middle of traffic on the San Franciso Bay Bridge; or how to RV when you are born with no mechanical genes.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Publication Consultants
• Release date: Jan 1, 2008
• ISBN: 9781594332159

Darlene Miller

Darlene Miller's first article was in the Banner, a church magazine, when she was only fourteen years old. Her more recent writing includes articles in such varied genres as Escapees Magazine, Radiant Native Health, The Knoxville Journal Express, The Pella Chronicle, and Smoke and Fire News. Her books include A Place in the Promised Land, RV Chuckles and Chuckholes – the Confessions of Happy Campers, More RV Chuckles and Chuckholes –More Confessions of Happy Campers, and The Search for Grandma Sparkle Darlene and her husband, Terry Miller, spend much of the year traveling in an RV to visit friends and relatives, explore nature and historic places and stay where they have good weather. Darlene Miller's first article was in the Banner, a church magazine, when she was only fourteen years old. Her more recent writing includes articles in such varied genres as Escapees Magazine, Radiant Native Health, The Knoxville Journal Express, The Pella Chronicle, and Smoke and Fire News. Her books include A Place in the Promised Land, RV Chuckles and Chuckholes – the Confessions of Happy Campers, More RV Chuckles and Chuckholes –More Confessions of Happy Campers, and The Search for Grandma Sparkle. Darlene and her husband, Terry Miller, spend much of the year traveling in an RV to visit friends and relatives, explore nature and historic places and stay where they have good weather.

Book preview

Boomers

Chapter One

Do They Understand Us RVers?

My cell phone rang one Saturday morning with the request that I participate in a survey for an RV national organization. After taking my name and address, the telemarketer asked what my hobbies are.

I answered, Reading, writing, singing, reenacting, exploring nature, photographing wild animals, visiting historical places –

The man on the phone interrupted, You sightsee.

Duh. Is there an RVer who doesn’t sightsee? I was too polite to say it out loud.

Am I going too fast for you? I asked.

Actually, I don’t have boxes for the other things you said.

Boxes, what boxes? RVers are very different from each other. How do we fit in boxes?

What do you have in your boxes? I queried.

He answered, Sightseeing, hunting, ATVing, fishing, jetskiing, water-crafting, motorcycling, dirt-bike riding, skiing, snowmobiling, golfing, birding, going to dog shows and horse shows, and attending RV shows and rallies.

Since I wouldn’t have listed any of his words in the boxes as my hobbies, I said goodbye and hung up the phone.

Get real! Who created these boxes? Was he gathering information for his thesis or someone in marketing? It must have been someone who has only been on weekend camping trips. They hurry to a destination and hurry home. Most serious RVers, both snowbirds and full-timers, want to explore and experience RVing.

#

This book is a humorous collection of jokes and anecdotes from my experiences in full-timing for ten years and those of other RVers who are full- or parttime RVing. The chuckles are the fun things we do and the chuckholes are the anecdotes that are not funny until later when you relate them to other RVers.

Most RVers are friendly people. They automatically have something in common with other RVers. They ask, Where have you been? Where are you going? You can tell a parttime RVer because they ask, Where is your home?

Home is where many RVers go to get a medical checkup or med fix. I went to a doctor in Iowa, a dentist in Alaska and an optometrist in Arizona. In the summer we have an address in Alaska, otherwise our address is in Texas. I have a library card from the Anchorage Municipal Libraries. We have children in North Carolina, Iowa, Texas and Alaska. Our RV is registered and licensed in Texas. Because of this, we have driver’s licenses in Texas. But sometimes I have a problem knowing where I am from.

Home is where you park it is a common expression that RVers use. I still get surprised when family members understand this.

#

My parents had a 65th wedding anniversary in 2006. Naturally, mother wanted all the children to attend the festivities. Terry and I were parked in Alaska at our son’s home. We decided that I would fly to Iowa to attend the celebration. My mom gave the information about the anniversary to the Oskaloosa Herald. When I read the article, I saw that Terry and I were from Alaska.

Mom, I queried, I did not know that I’m from Alaska.

You say that where your RV is parked is where your home is. She reminded me.

Okay, mom.

#

While in Iowa, I decided to spend time with my son Mark and his family. Mark, when is a good time to see you? I asked.

Meet us at church and we’ll spend the afternoon together, he answered.

When I arrived at the church, I expected to sit with the family, but Mark was sitting with the choir and his wife, Connie, was working in the nursery. I saw my grandson, Joshua, sitting with some youngsters.

Can I sit by you? I asked.

Sure, grandma. Joshua answered.

The minister said, I see that we have some visitors today. If you know a visitor, give us their name and where they are from.

Joshua stood up and said, This is Grandma. (like I had no other name.)

She is from wherever she wants to be.

The church was silent. The minister repeated, Her name is Grandma and she is from wherever she wants to be.

Chapter Two

What Do RVers Do?

What do RVers do? Even though most RVers who I know do not hurry to places to race ATVs, motorcycles, and dirt bikes, or watch how fast a car or horse can run, the answer is as varied as the people who live in RVs.

These are excerpts from a Christmas letter that was written as a review of one year for my husband Terry and me:

We have spent a great deal of time this year with family. Richard and Shelly drove to Arizona and spent several days with us. When the weather was too warm in Arizona, we drove the RV to Iowa where we parked it at my brother and sister-in-law’s elk farm. We helped my daughter Karol and her children, Ryan and Kari, move to Tracy, Iowa. Mark and Connie spent time with us at a campground on the Des Moines River. Their children stayed overnight with grandpa and grandma. We saw Nathan before and after he took his first steps. His sister, Amanda, gave me a ride in her red convertible. Mark and Connie are glad that she can drive Matt, Joshua, and Emily to school.

We went to Illinois to spend time with Terry’s brother and sister-in-law, Dennis and Dorothy. They even drove to Indiana where we all enjoyed the Covered Bridge Festival. We hoped to see colored leaves when we moved north to Michigan but the weather did not co-operate. We parked at my Uncle Bern and Aunt Jean’s house and spent time with ten aunts and uncles. Since they are Dutch, they all wouldn’t visit without giving us food.

At the end of October, we drove the RV to Raleigh. Terry took the toad (our 4-wheel drive towed car) to Houston so he could help Raymond and Teresita move to Anchorage, Alaska. They drove over 2200 miles of snow and ice. We have beautiful pictures of Terry’s Crystal Forest with caribou, buffalo and Dall sheep. Raymond and Teresita also met their Canadian cousins, Ronald and Pauline Miller and Harvey and Mertia Hamn, on their trip north. Terry flew back to Raleigh, North Carolina.

I am looking out our RV window at the crumbling brick walls which are all that remains of Robert’s house. Our first indication that anything was wrong was when the electricity went out in the RV. Terry went to the back door of Robert’s house but couldn’t get inside because of the smoke and heat. Robert’s car was gone so we knew no one was inside. We learned that 911 does not work if your cell phone is bought in another part of the country! The firemen said that a workman, who was remodeling the house, lit a fire in the fireplace to burn leftover wood. He thought the fire was out before he left but it smoldered until the fire burned through the inadequate chimney.