Healing the Hurt: How to Help Using Spiritual Guidance

By Jill Loree

The work of healing our fractured inner selves takes a little finesse, a lot of stick-to-it-iveness, and the skilled help of someone who has gone down this road before. Being a Helper then is about applying all we have learned on our own healing journey to help guide others through the process of reunifying their fragmented hidden places.

That may sound simple, but it’s surely not easy. It’s also not easy to be the Worker, the one who does this work of spiritual healing. Now, with Healing the Hurt, everyone can understand the important skills needed by a Helper to assure Workers find what they’re looking for.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jill Loree
• Release date: Jun 30, 2016
• ISBN: 9781310833342

Jill Loree

A neatnik with a ready sense of humor, Jill Loree’s first job as a root-beer-stand carhop in northern Wisconsin was an early sign that things could only get better.She would go on to throw pizzas and bartend while in college, before discovering that the sweet spot of her 30-year sales-and-marketing career would be in business-to-business advertising. A true Gemini, she has a degree in chemistry and a flair for writing. Her brain fires on both the left and right sides.That said, her real passion in life has been her spiritual path. Raised in the Lutheran faith, she became a more deeply spiritual person in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, a spiritual recovery program, starting in 1989. In 1997, she was introduced to the wisdom of the Pathwork, which she describes as “having walked through the doorway of a fourth step and found the whole library.”She completed four years of Pathwork Helpership training in 2007 followed by four years of apprenticing and discernment before stepping into her full Helpership in 2011. She has been a teacher in the Transformation Program offered at Sevenoaks Retreat Center in Madison, Virginia, operated by Mid-Atlantic Pathwork, where she also led marketing activities for over two years and served on the Board of Trustees.In 2012, Jill completed four years of kabbalah training in a course called the Soul’s Journey, achieving certification for hands-on healing using the energies embodied in the tree of life.Not bad for a former pom-pom squad captain who once played Dolly in Hello Dolly! She is now the proud mom of two adult children, Charlie and Jackson, who were born and raised in Atlanta. Jill Loree is delighted to be married to Scott Wisler, but continues to use her middle name as her last (it’s pronounced loh-REE). In her spare time she enjoys reading, writing, yoga, golf, skiing and hiking, especially in the mountains.In 2014, she consciously decoupled from the corporate world and is now dedicating her life to writing and teaching about spirituality, personal healing and self-discovery.Catch up with Jill at www.phoenesse.com.

Book preview

How to Help Using

Spiritual Guidance

By Jill Loree

Self.Care. | Book Two

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© 2016 Jill Loree. All rights reserved.

Published by Phoenesse LLC

www.phoenesse.com

ISBN: 978-0997363425

Phoenesse® is a registered service mark of Phoenesse LLC.

Pathwork® is a registered service mark of the Pathwork Foundation.

Foreword

This book is written as a companion to Spilling the Script: A Concise Guide to Self-Knowing, which gives the foundation for the work discussed here. In addition, the Real.Clear. series—and in particular, the book Bones: A Building-Block Collection of 19 Fundamental Spiritual Teachings—provides a primer for understanding the many important concepts explained by the Guide regarding this fascinating journey of healing we’re on.

It will frankly be difficult to understand the information offered in this book without having a solid understanding of the deeper dynamics and origins of inner wounds. More importantly, it is not really possible for any of us to walk with others through difficult inner landscapes we have not yet traversed ourselves.

So knowing there’s a ton of background needed for this book to make sense, and knowing there’s a mountain of personal work and training one must go through before we can use these teachings to help others, I still feel called to write this book. Yet I have struggled, not so much with the content itself, but with its intent. In the end, I have written this book because it would have helped me greatly to have read it back when I was going through Helpership training. I even wish I had understood the process of the work better when I was a fledgling Worker.

In my Helpership training, I was largely taught experientially, meaning we did our own work and then broke it down to discover exactly how we had been helped. Then we could see what the teacher/Helper was doing that was so effective in guiding us to healing. Friends, there is no better way to learn than that. But then the reasoning mind has some catching up and piecing together to do.

In this book, I have stitched together what I was taught with what I have since sorted out in my own work as a Helper, hoping to make a quilt that someone can appreciate. Some may admire the colors, others may like the patterns, and still others may be trying to get warm. For whatever reason you feel called to crawl inside these covers, I offer my humble wish and blessing that this book offers just what you need at this point on your spiritual path.

—Jill Loree

Contents

1 On Becoming a Helper

What it Means to be a Helper

The Path to Becoming a Helper

2 About the Pathwork®

What is the Pathwork?

Where the Teachings Come From

Who is the Guide?

More About the Guide’s Teachings

How this Differs from Therapy

3 It’s Not all Talk, Talk, Talk

There’s Always a Story

The Whole Point of the Work

The Spiritual Aspect of the Work

Just Breathing and Feeling

4 What We’re Listening For

Listening from the Get-Go

Listening for Dualities & Images

Listening for Faults

5 Down to Brass Tacks

Getting into the Work

Welcoming All of the Selves

Accessing and Aligning with the Higher Self

Inviting in the Lower Self

Working with Honor Cords

The Power of the Pillow

Working Within the Body

Staying Present in Our Own Body

6 Getting Into the Nitty-Gritty

Connecting with Anger

Transforming the Inner No

Working with Sexuality

7 Holding the Space

What about Transference?

What is Helper Consciousness?

The Importance of Grounding

Working with Groups

8 Attending to the Details

A Word about Attuning

Money and Spiritual Work

Knowing When to Refer Out

Please Say This Isn’t the End

What is Phoenesse®?

What is The Guide Speaks?

About the Author

More from Phoenesse

1 On Becoming a Helper

What It Means to be a Helper

Within the framework of the global Pathwork organization, being a Helper refers to something that is specific, hard earned and ultimately deeply rewarding. Most of us who have become Pathwork Helpers would say it is a spiritual calling. For everyone else, being a Helper, not to mention being a Pathwork Helper, means pretty much nothing.

And yet for so many people, in so many ways throughout a day, there are so many opportunities to be of help—to be a helper. Beyond the obvious helping professionals such as therapists, counselors, psychiatrists and the like, there are scores of people serving as energetic healers and spiritual directors today. Plus there are clergy and teachers, lawyers and doctors, funeral directors and police officers, and sponsors for addicts and alcoholics in recovery. There are managers who must deal with emotionally reactive employees, because regardless what the job requires, people show up having feelings—most especially about us if we’re their manager. And let’s not leave out anyone who has ever been on a long flight next to someone who needed a listening ear and found a captive audience.

In various ways, at opportune times, many of us have a chance to help others who are in distress or dealing with a conflict. So that would be, like, every day. Depending on our position or situation, we may have received some kind of formal training, but perhaps it didn’t cover all the bases or adequately prepare us to understand what might be going on for someone. Maybe we’ve been the recipient of nearest-neighbor training where we can only hope the one who shared their tips had some wisdom to impart.

For the sake of this book, we’re going to hear what the Guide had to teach us about how to go about being a capital-H-Helper, or a Pathwork Helper. But consider that this umbrella may cover aspects that any kind of helper can use for helping others with more grace and effectiveness.

Included here then are approaches and perspectives that were taught by the Pathwork Guide—more on what and who that is in a moment. This material will be presented within the context of teaching someone to be a one-on-one Pathwork Helper who sits down with a person in a Helper session and helps. But as we’ve just said, helping doesn’t always look like that, even for a Helper. Take what you can use and leave the rest.

We bring our Helpership out into the world wherever and however we are called. Many people have gone through three or four years of intense Helpership training within the Pathwork organization and never given a single session; their Helpership, though, may be alive and well in their stance with their patients, their guidance as a manager, or in their healing practice that flies under the flag of some other modality.

When the Guide was first teaching people to become Helpers, therapy wasn’t available at every turn the way it is today. Through the decades, scores of licensed therapists have become Pathwork Helpers, weaving this approach into their professional work as appropriate. But let’s be clear, the idea here is not to develop some kind of second-rate ability to counsel. We need to know our limits and respect the boundaries of the licensed therapeutic community. An important aspect of helping is to recognize when referral to a licensed care provider is called for. (Read more in Knowing When to Refer Out)

This book is about sharing proven ways to interact with people who are consciously wanting to walk a spiritual path. Because once we have gone through our own challenges and come out the other side, we now have something to offer others: a healing presence. But that doesn’t mean that being a Helper is about giving advice or telling others what to do. As we’ll discuss, that’s not what we are talking about doing at all.

Our healing presence emanates from our own Higher Self which, as Helpers, is the part of ourselves we have learned to access and live from more and more. Our Worker, on the other hand, who is living mostly from their ego and therefore trapped in the illusion of duality, can’t yet access their own inner wisdom. Our job is to hold the space of the Higher Self and help them find theirs. For truth be told, everyone has a fount of courage, love and wisdom bubbling at the core of their being. If we do