Ting Tang Tony: Has-Been Series, #1

By Kristin Leigh Jones and Kat DeSalle

Tall, dapper, and handsome…yep

Made millions…yep

20 years and still going strong in the porn industry…wait… no? Damn.

Tony DiMarco left college to be porn star, but he certainly didn’t aspire to be one. Life happens. The same industry that’s embraced him—made him Ting Tang Tony—has spit him out faster than an actress does after a money shot when the director calls cut. He was resigned to enjoying his life alone with friends—the family—he’d made in the business. Tony didn’t expect his world to turn upside down in Florida…of all places. Bowled over by love, or more like he bowled over the gorgeous and ever upstanding, Emily Grant—literally.  She’s beautiful, hilarious, and intelligent and she knows nothing about him and his shortcomings, but he has to have her. He knows she’s perfect for him and won’t stop until she’s his. Will the 2,500 miles between them, insecurities, and the aspects of his past keep them apart?

Can Tony prove it’s not the size of the package that’s important, but what’s inside that matters most?

The Has-Been Series follows four men on their journeys through their careers, loves, friendships, and the eventual pursuit of happiness in this rat race called life. Their paths just happen to intertwine in the adult industry, where they have all made a name for themselves at one point. Despite their different backgrounds, the men bonded—made their own family. Each man, each story, is its own, but related to the next. It’s not a series about porn, it’s about growth and the very flaws that make us interesting and unique. There will be times throughout these books when you won’t think it’s possible for the men to sink any lower, or for you to adore them and their tales any more. One thing always rings true throughout this series: enjoy your life, your family, and your friends—cherish every moment and remember to laugh your ass off the whole way through. Everyone needs to hear a good dick joke once in a while. Come take a ride on this boundary pushing series with depth and humor.

• Language: English
• Publisher: ED Productions
• Release date: Sep 18, 2014
• ISBN: 9781502427496

Book preview

TTT content warning NEW

Due to explicit content, adult situations, and foul language this book is

not appropriate for readers under 18.

But if you are over 18 and want something witty, hot sexy, edgy and modern—that takes the standard beach read up a notch and turns it into a poolside-with-a-margarita-in-hand-on-the-Vegas-Strip kinda read—then you’re in the right place.

Warning: Side effects may include laughing, crying, hot flashes, and a general escape from reality

TTT dedication NEW

Kristin and Kat would like to thank everyone for purchasing their books and taking the time to read them. They hope you enjoy them and the characters as much as they do. Tips wine glass in salute. Cheers!

This book is dedicated to you!

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Newsletter Sign-up

Books by Kat DeSalle & Kristin Leigh Jones

Sneak Peek

About the Authors

Acknowledgements

Recipes from the Book

TTT chapone NEW

Tony, I just wanted to speak with you about your speech tonight. I stopped mid-stride on my way into the conference room as my agent, Jerry, took my arm, pulling me to the side. The sweat beading on his brow was a telltale sign something wasn’t right. He pulled the maroon pocket square from his jacket and swiped at his glistening forehead. Hey, you’ve had a great career, my friend. Really. I mean, who’d have thought a man of your size could’ve made such a name for himself in the pornography industry?

My lips curved up in a smile and I huffed out a cynical laugh at his attempt at humor. It was infamous for my shortcomings. Hell, after all, this was the twentieth anniversary of Ting Tang Tony and the Tale of the Little Erection That Could. That film put me on the map and started my career as an adult film star. Of course, that was the big joke—I was the exact opposite of the major selling point in adult films. Sure, I was good looking, but that wasn’t what sold films. In general, profits coincided with the actor’s dick size, and mine was 50 cents short of a dollar. I must have been created by an evil cosmic joke, one to solely put the wives’ tale to rest: big shoes only meant big socks. But, sometimes, different was good and it worked in my case.

Stuffing the handkerchief back in his pocket, he carried on. Don’t think of this as the end. The producer package the girls set you up with will keep you busy. And don’t forget old Jerry here, I appreciate those referrals. I never really thanked you for sending Ana my way. My eyes narrowed as I began to put together his implications that had been staring me in the face. Especially after I remembered all the comments from the crew about how they’d miss working with me on last night’s shoot of Out With a Bang. Maybe this really was the end.

As if sensing my turmoil, his meaty hand whacked me on the shoulder. I knew him well enough to know it was his way of showing affection. Oh, come on, you’ve known this was coming. We both have. But, it’s been a great twenty years, Tony.

My heart sank as I swallowed my pride. I had to wonder, was I here to celebrate the years of success my original film brought ED Productions, or was this really a retirement party masquerading as an anniversary party? My career possibly being over wasn’t what shocked me the most—for fuck’s sake, I was in it longer than most—it was the fact that I’d built my life around this career. Ironically, since this was supposed to be a one-time gig. Plus, I knew what happened when they tossed you aside for the younger, fresher actors. I’d seen some porn stars left with nothing. Once the limelight was gone, they were left in the dark to fight with their own demons. One scary fact remained: my life centered in this industry—my friends, my entire career…everything. Porn bonded all my close friendships and now that I was being shoved out, I feared everything would fall apart. Being alone was a nightmare of mine and I didn’t like how close of a reality it actually was.

Jerry’s voice pulled me back to the moment. If it makes you feel any better, you’ve been a dream client—easy to work with, good morals, no drug problems. And hell, you get a fucking gold star because you don’t owe me any money.

Of course I’ve been a dream client. I’m your golden child. I reached down and affectionately returned the sentiment, slapping Jerry on the shoulder. His laugh seemed sincere as I parted ways with him and entered Ballroom A.

I sighed as I surveyed the room. There was a typical stage complete with a podium draped in a hunter green sash of some sort. I’m sure they tried to make it look classy, but it fell short and reminded me of a high school graduation podium, not a party supposed to highlight the game-changing film for ED Productions. Round tables sprinkled the room, complete with cheap white carnation centerpieces. The peppering of bleach blonde locks, fake tans, and glitter covered saline enhanced breasts were decoration enough. I coughed at the scent of stale mold masked with sweat and far too much cologne as it wafted my way. I could understand the sweat and mold—this was Tampa after all and the humidity was off the charts—but the perfume was another story. I could never get used to that.

Spotting my boys at one of the center tables, I made my way over. It was hard to miss some of the biggest names in the business and when you got all of them together, things usually went off the rails.

Tony! About time you got your ass in here, this shit-show is for you anyway. Ric got up and pulled out my chair with a grand sweeping hand gesture for me to sit down.

Knock it off, fucker, and sit your ass down. I pushed him down into the chair at my left before taking my seat. I nodded over to my buddy Levi across the table. Rod sat on my other side and already had two glasses of beer in front of him. He pressed one of them into my right hand.

Cheers, you little-peckered Boy Wonder, Rod said with a wink. We tossed back a cool slug of Yuengling. Well, at least Florida did have some perks: good beer on tap.

I didn’t have time to retort because the lights dimmed as a projection screen came down on the stage. Sounds of crappy fake moans filled the air as a tall, blond, string bean of a dude panted and pumped his little heart out into a curvy, saline filled bleached out blonde. I could only shake my head at my first attempt at fucking, and then shake it harder at Cindy’s attempt at acting. Apparently, tonight’s event wouldn’t be complete without a highlight reel of Ting Tang Tony.

Scenes from different films flashed over: some of me in my first film with Rod, If You Stick It They Will Come; The Pizza Delivery Boy Always Rings Twice; there were even some highlights from last night’s film, Out With a Bang. When it showed my tongue buried in Barb’s pussy, she shouted out from somewhere in the room, Woot, Woot, Tony! The only man that could bring this pussy to its knees!

The room burst out in laughter and shouts, my table of friends included. I smiled and took little pride in how I’d grown—certainly not a boy anymore—and what I’d accomplished in the business. Yes, my tiny dick broke me into porn, but my talented tongue kept me in it. Stuffing your dick into a canyon only looked good on film for so long before the shock value wore off.

I had to admit, I was scared and sad for it to be over, but at least Izzy and India offered me some producing and writing work. I wouldn’t be completely shut out—just not in front of the lens. I would be lying if I said I still wasn’t worried it would change the dynamic of my life, and more importantly, the dynamic with my friends, the brothers I never had.

I didn’t get much time to dwell before the lights came back on and the screen lifted, revealing a now older and more mature Cindy. Her smile beamed, although a little evil with an edge tilted up, something I only noticed…We’d been involved for so long. She looked happy, but she was bitter beneath the white teeth, fake tan, and layers of makeup. The tight lavender tube dress hugged and accentuated her nicely though.

My sweet, innocent Tony—well, the Tony I met and brought into this business, not the almost over the hill Tony hiding behind his beer. She gestured to me and the crowd laughed again. So much for the nice compliments and boner I was working on while admiring her curves on stage. Bitch.

Where do I begin? She tapped a matching lavender acrylic nail to her red painted mouth. You’ve grown so much since I found you in that frat house. She laughed. Well, grown taller, I suppose, but not anywhere else.

Levi turned back to look at me and we both rolled our eyes, but several others in attendance chuckled at her jab.

Who knew it would be you we are honoring tonight instead of me. Her smile fell, but she quickly composed herself, Either way, this big business has embraced you in every way—even if the fluffers needed tweezers.

This time, the crowd roared, but I was beyond chuckling along. Irritation had me cracking my knuckles under the table. Was I here to honor my career or get my cocktail wiener roasted?

Cindy took a long sip from her champagne glass and looked directly at me. Seriously, Tony, it’s been a pleasure knowing you, working with you, and partnering with you.

I cringed at the partnering part. No one knew I co-owned a strip club with her. I looked to the boys, but no one questioned the meaning of her speech.

I’m sure I can speak for many when I say I’ll be sorry not to see your sexy ass on the screen again, but we’re all happy for the twenty years we got. She addressed the crowd and I had to admit, her having something nice to say after all moved me a bit. Everyone, please help me in giving Tony a warm welcome, and a happy send off as he comes to the stage to say goodbye.

Tables and chairs shuffled as people stood while whistling, hollering, and clapping. Rod clapped my back before pulling me up. I took my beer with me as I made my way to the stage, taking time to shake hands, give fives, and kiss tanned, make-up covered cheeks. When I pecked at the cheek of Barbara Booberella, a frequent co-star, she smiled back, and gave my ass a pinch. I just shook my head.

Once I reached the stage, I put my beer down and went in to kiss Cindy and thank her for her kind words, but her nails dug into my elbow, pulling me into her for a wet, intense, possessive kiss. "Ow, Ow, sounded from the ‘ruly bunch and I couldn’t help but feel awkward. Sure, Cindy and I had kissed many, many times before, but it had honestly been months since I’d seen her last. When I broke away, she whispered in my ear, I have something for you. Come find me after." She kissed my cheek—no doubt leaving a lipstick mark—and sauntered off the stage. The significance of being alone on the stage was not lost on me. Thankfully, I’d brought up my beer.

I took a long swallow and addressed the crowd blanketed with porn stars and industry professionals. Where do I even begin…?

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Cindy screamed as I jammed my dick into her tight little ass. Looked like she hadn’t been sleeping with anyone else in the last few months—or if she was fucking someone else, she probably didn’t have to do anal in order to enjoy it. Either way, her puckered hole still felt like a vise squeezing around me. I had her face smashed up against the gritty, white tiled wall of the women’s room just outside the ballroom and small lounge. The lavender mini dress was up around her waist as I drilled her against the wall. Space was of short supply in the stall, but I didn’t need a lot of room to maneuver my pint-sized dick in and out of her. I felt her clenching around me more and brought my hand around front to fuck her pussy. Filling her up with my long index and middle fingers, I thrust in and out of the wet mess dripping from between her thighs. The ridiculous moans coming from her mouth were almost enough to make me limp. It was no wonder her porn career hadn’t taken off like mine. She was horrible at faking orgasms—hell, she sounded awful when she actually had an orgasm.

Cindy’s cat-wailing moans mixed with the combination of being a little drunk meant taking longer than usual to finish. I had years of practice making myself cum just by using my own mind to create pleasure. It was magic; maybe not the magic Levi had created on the set of Out With a Bang, but my own little sorcery—or survival method. The excitement of just touching and being near a woman worked for my first few years in the industry, but that wears off fast when fucking a woman feels like sticking my dick inside a warm dryer.

I actually lost my virginity on camera when I was 18-years-old—to Cindy. Hence, where the story of Ting Tang Tony and the Tale of the Little Erection That Could came from. It was a huge jump for me being from Smalltown, Idaho. Probably not the smartest or wisest move, but you did a lot of things you wouldn’t dream of to protect the people you care about. I was popular in high school, but painfully aware of my shortcomings. I wore a purity ring to explain why I didn’t have sex with any of the girls I dated. The crushing abuse of teenagers was something I couldn’t handle, and thankfully, I was good enough at basketball the other guys didn’t dare spill the beans or make fun of me in the locker room. Needless to say, I was happy to get out of Idaho after graduating.

A pinch started deep in my sack, letting me know I was near. I brought my thumb up to massage tiny circles around Cindy’s clit.

Oh God…oh God…thank you for those hands, she cried as her climax rippled through and down into her sphincter muscles, doing the rest of the work to milk my orgasm.

A small grunt left my throat, signaling my release. I had a blessed few seconds of white nothingness in my mind and vision as my short orgasm spewed from my dick. Grabbing some tissue from behind me, I withdrew and wiped myself down before pulling my pants back up. I grabbed more to offer some to Cindy—I was a gentleman after all—but I had to admit, I felt like I needed to get out of this bathroom as soon as possible.

She wiped herself and then grabbed more tissue to dab her front before using a stiletto-encased foot to flush the toilet. She was straightening her dress when I pulled the stall door open and made a break for the sink to wash my hands and gather my warming beer.

Cindy took her time putting herself back together. Considering she wasn’t wearing much to begin with spoke volumes about the speed at which she moved. I could only roll my eyes and ignore her while I grabbed what was left of my draft and swallowed it down. At least I wasn’t washing away the taste of latex or bodily fluids. Thankfully, I didn’t feel obligated to eat her pussy anymore. Even though I was known for my abilities there, I hated doing it. Or maybe it was just that every pussy I’d come across tasted like used dick or cheap lube. In Cindy’s case, I pretty much avoided anything that made her scream. Our relationship was pretty parasitic. She used me to try to get into porn and I used her because she was the only woman I’d felt comfortable being with off camera. The celebration tonight didn’t only mark Ting Tang Tony’s twentieth anniversary, it also meant Cindy and I had been fucking around for just as long.

You know, Tony, she started, you haven’t been by the club much. Running from something? You aren’t being a very good partner. The business has needs and could use more investments, she purred. A finger trailed down my back and then around to my abs as she tried to hug me from behind. I avoided meeting her eyes in the dank bathroom mirror and felt myself shiver again, but not from being turned on.

I pulled her hands from around my waist as I remembered her little partner slip in her speech. Remember the silent part? Apparently, Cindy didn’t quite understand the concept as well as I thought. Even though we were technically co-owners of The Pink Flamingo, also known as Pinks, I preferred to stay unknown and behind the scenes. I helped pull the club out of the gutters, invested some money, hired a new GM and business advisor, and then watched my money grow with the club. Cindy was good at managing the girls, and hell, I was impressed she’d been smart enough to save her crusty dollar bills to buy the place when the previous owner went to jail. Still didn’t change the fact that I didn’t want anyone to know about my involvement—even my guys. I didn’t want them to know just how tangled Cindy and I were financially. Then my shitty reality of being subjugated in this opportunistic relationship—or whatever you wanted to call what we had—might actually sink in.

Cindy leaned back against the tampon machine, pretending to be interested in her nails. Yeah, Tony, her tone held snark, I get the silent part. I’m just saying that maybe you might want to get involved now that you won’t be busy shooting films. You know, pay attention to things you’ve been neglecting?

I knew her words held more meaning, and the urge to duck and run was overwhelming.

She continued, I don’t know where you’re staying, but I’m shocked you didn’t bring me with you. I have a VIP section booked at Club Prana and a room at the Grand Hyatt.

Yeah, um…I’m not sure what the guys want to do, I stammered and recovered. I promised I’d hang with them and I think Rod has something planned. No one had anything planned as far as I knew, but I didn’t want her to mention bringing the guys. I wasn’t going anywhere with her tonight.

Well… she started, her voice purring again. I didn’t understand how her voice could be so sexy and her moans so awful. Cindy dropped a plastic card into the empty draft glass I held. Meet me after then. Fourteen-o-seven. She sauntered past, dragging a nail over my shoulder, and exited the bathroom.

I emptied the glass in the trash before heading back to the lounge. Maybe I’d learned a few things over the years after all.

TTT chapthree NEW

I found my friends still drinking and laughing at the round booth in the corner of the dark and humid hotel lounge and pulled up a chair from a nearby table. There was no way my 6’5" frame would fit in the booth. One would