Bongo & Delilah Crash Cassadaga: B&D Capers, #2

By Winnie Winkle

Tune in to the second careening caper of your favorite sci-fi comedy trio!

 

Bongo, Delilah, and Billy Bob, their little green pal from Hepcurtia, take their First Contact show on the road with a plan to recruit more humans. Flying high in their super-cool orb ship, they are almost guaranteed a chance to find more eager volunteers. Unfortunately, they've caught the attention of the wrong kind of humans!

 

A biker gang with a talent for snatching tech wants Billy Bob's orb—and they will do anything to get it. Not even a sleepy Florida psychic town sporting a ghost and a pile of FBI hotties can keep them safe. With time running out and a possible hangover holding them back, it will take all the resources of this unlikely trio to thwart the bad guys and win the day.

 

Find out what happens in the next adventures where all's fair when it comes to winning—even if it takes a little alien ingenuity. 

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The reviews are in for Book 1, and readers love the ride!

 

D. Antonio

5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious

Reviewed in the United States on October 27, 2022

Verified Purchase

Check your brain at the door, remove all breakables from the area and make sure you won't disturb anyone; then kick back and enjoy this fun filled laugh out loud romp. I giggle snorted my way through this tale of accountants, rednecks and aliens. ET has nothing on Blleburbk. And amidst all the laughter there is a really important story about sustainability and acceptance. I adored this book and can't wait for future adventures.

 

Leslie Moore

5.0 out of 5 stars Alien Glamour

Reviewed in the United States on November 5, 2022

This tasty start to a new series has it all. Glitz, glam, a deeply satisfying friendship , a stern warning and an alien in drag. I found that this delightfully chaotic, eyebrow lifting, adventure bent my mind in all the right ways. Aliens need to recruit the people of earth and found the right partners in a couple of snarky ladies on vacation with a flexible view of life! Couldn't put it down!

 

Jennifer T. Conaway

5.0 out of 5 stars Fun, fun, fun!

Reviewed in the United States on November 1, 2022

There is nothing not to like about this book. It is a fun romp through a very entertaining situation. Don't take it too seriously, folks--this is definitely a book to be read for pure laugh out loud enjoyment! I am looking forward to the next installments to see where this madcap tale travels! And when you are done, follow the author and check out her other books. You'll never regret it!

• Language: English
• Publisher: J. S. Netwal
• Release date: Dec 8, 2022
• ISBN: 9798985961041

Winnie Winkle

Winnie Winkle is a fabulous Central Florida broad who swills bourbon, likes dogs and cats, and practices yoga, but not with any degree of grace. Supporting live local music is a pretty big deal to Winnie, so if you pass a gravestone that admonishes, 'Go see the band and hit the tip jar', it's probably hers. But, since she's not dead yet, she'll keep penning fun stuff to rock your reading chair. Winnie has lived in Florida for 30 years and splits her time between South Daytona Shores and the Mount Dora area. She prefers writing beach-side as much as she can because, if we’re baring our souls here, the ocean is a mighty muse and there’s only so much that coffee can do. Winnie writes humorous fiction with a new series, "The Record" releasing three titles in 2021 )Boogie Beach, Slat Shaken, Speedo Down). She also released a literary fiction, "To Walk in the World: Twin Tales of Inception in 2021. Winnie also writes (6 books so far)  paranormal and sci-fi romances for the series "The Worlds or Magic, New Mexico".

Book preview

BONGO & DELILAH CRASH CASSADAGA

B&D CAPERS

BOOK 2

WINNIE WINKLE

JS Netwal, Publisher

© 2022 by Winnie Winkle

All Rights Reserved

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No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

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For permission requests, contact JS Netwal, Publisher, 3408 S. Atlantic Ave., #128, Daytona Beach Shores, FL 32118

Vellum flower icon Created with Vellum

This book is dedicated to

Spencer Netwal

Fly high, and bring jams for the ride.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Foreword

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

About the Author

Sci-Fi Comedy

Funny Urban Fantasy

Let’s Get Social!

Other Books by Winnie Winkle

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner.

Writing is solitary. Publishing, not so much. I’d like to thank cover artist Melody Simmons for catching the vision of this series and creating the perfect covers. Jennie Rosenblum’s editing makes every book shine brighter, and I greatly value our professional friendship. I’m grateful for the guidance of Narelle Todd. Her Get My Book Out There program has changed my business vision, and in many ways, my own. S.E. Smith shares her friendship and inspiration, and incredible creativity, and I’m so thankful for all the facets of her world. Special love and thanks to my sweet Mike Willams for putting up with my occasional eccentricities, and for his unflagging support and encouragement.

I’m blessed to be lifted up by a wonderful group of authors: Cassandra Chandler, Jill Wallace, Candace Colt, Stephanie Harrell, Kyndra Hatch, Pauline Baird Jones, Natalie Palma, and S.E. Smith. Each is a deep sounding board in the ongoing wonderment of discovering how to be a twenty-first-century creative. If you’re not reading these authors, go forth and download their incredible stories.

And, of course, big love to my children. Every day, your happiness, curiosity, and wit in a weird world delights me.

To my newsletter subscribers and readers everywhere who bought, read, left reviews, or contacted me to share their enthusiasm for my stories… Thank you.

Reader energy is the glimmer that inspires the burn. Every story’s spark begins with you.

FOREWORD

The reviews for Bongo & Delilah Break Daytona have flowed in–and readers loved it! I wanted to share one with you.

Check your brain at the door, remove all breakables from the area and make sure you won’t disturb anyone; then kick back and enjoy this fun filled laugh out loud romp. I giggle snorted my way through this tale of accountants, rednecks and aliens. ET has nothing on Blleburbk. And amidst all the laughter there is a really important story about sustainability and acceptance. I adored this book and can’t wait for future adventures.

~D. Antonio, Amazon reader

It’s a privilege to write comedy that makes you think, and knowing readers love those threads is the most incredible feeling. Ever.

So welcome to the next chapter of an unlikely friendship crossing infinite space and landing firmly in the shared experience of respect, booze, love, and capers in another tribute to the wacky and oddity laden Florida that holds my heart.

ONE

Any way you looked at it, the orb was fucking cool.

In our defense, we started with a plan. FBI sanctioned, even. The pre-dawn’s murky light and gentle ocean breeze, punctuated by a mechanical hum, framed two orbs landing in the parking lot of the now notorious—thanks to us—Fountainhead Resort. Smart money said they’d be booked out for decades as the host of Earth’s first contact, with muralists lining up to paint Billy Bob’s green mug on the building’s facade. Cash factor 9000.

The larger orb eased onto Delilah’s pale pink pickup truck bed, anchored in a floating position one inch above the rails, and turned translucent. A whoosh, and a small alien exited, drawing a single finger across his upper chest. Her eyes slid to mine. Salute? Sleep with the fishes? Who knew?

Commander Blleburbk. Congratulations on an exceptional mission.

Billy hitched up his britches, returned the gesture, and grimaced as his loaded cargo shorts dropped to the asphalt with a swishy clonk.

I cut Dee a side eye. Every time he exhales, he’s losing his pants.

Well, hon, he’s a belly breather. Too bad he’s not a Chippendale dancer, Delilah’s perfect white teeth flashed. That right there is a useful skill. Don’t give it another thought, Bongo. He’s another Billy Bob with a convincing pot belly. The ideal physique to sport a pair of suspenders.

Lungs, Billy interrupted. Besides, on our world, I’m as buff as they come.

You’re buff here too, I eyed his little green ass cheeks as Dee snorted.

Are you two finished? BB’s lips thinned to near non-existence.

We received your arrival coordinates, Commander. The delivery dude clicked his heels and redrew the chest line.

Billy gave up on his shorts, returned the salute, and watched the smaller orb seal, rise and zing into charcoal clouds laced with lavender and apricot. He yanked up his pants, inventoried his bulging pockets, and clambered onto the running board. With an irritated sigh, he settled into the backseat. Dee and I wedged our suitcases between the orb’s curve and the front of the cargo area, and I climbed in the back with BB.

It’s been a blast, Daytona, but this show is hitting the road.

Delilah hopped behind the wheel and turned the key. Nothing.

Relax, Billy groused. An active orb interferes with your electrical systems. Remember when we met? Recovery takes three minutes. Try patience for once.

What’s up with the grumpiness, BB? You just stuck the landing on a famous mission, but your expression is the epitome of dump city. Is something bugging you?

Inside a tee shirt proclaiming ‘There’s nothing I can’t do except reach the top shelf’, his shoulders slumped.

When the mission came together, and we got our first group of volunteers, it was huge.

Near perfect success, I agreed. And the costumes rocked.

No more false eyelashes, Bongo. Never again. Ever. Anyway, with phase one settled, it’s landing on me–I never believed we’d achieve completion with minimal errors.

You need to lean into your victories, Billy Bob, Dee blinked and shook her head. Morose is a terrible look. You’re already green, honey. Trust me, it just won’t do.

I celebrate this outcome. I do, he protested to my raised eyebrow. But the victory changed the follow up protocols and now I’m stuck on Earth for the rest of my life fighting weird clothing and lame jokes.

Are you kidding me? Double entendres are hilarious.

Considering the sun is asleep and we aren’t, a top shelf effort, Dee agreed.

Whatever. We don’t wear clothes because we conceal our organs within the body unless in use. And brains are sexier.

Hey now, I shot him an organ-liquifying side eye.

Pish, I’m hot and I’d still be wearing clothes, Delilah cut in with a hair flip. I won’t set my lady bits on scalding leather car seats in Florida, ever.

We developed nerve management, Billy grumbled. Those sexy brains, remember? Total control over what we feel, when, and the duration. The other night, in the ocean, I opened up everything. It’s beyond powerful, the greatest sensory connection possible, but it wipes you.

I’m all about achieving ultimate heights, Billy Bob, Dee twisted the key, and the motor roared to life. But gettin’ revved up is better with a friend than a fish.

How would you know? A ghost of a grin lit his face. And it was more than one fish. I multitask like a space hero.

Why, sure you… uh oh.

She backed up, turning toward the exit, and stopped. Hundreds of cars filled our entire field of vision and beyond, blocking the Fountainhead’s entrance and all four lanes of Atlantic Avenue. Five if you counted the turn lane, which a bunch of the curious did.

Did damn near half the town roll up for the spectacle? That sucked. But last week’s first contact extravaganza became a weird, shared experience. A successful getaway, in hindsight, felt both dumb and optimistic.

Shit. I craned my neck and sighed.

I’ll say. Well, I wouldn’t, but I certainly agree.

I’m the official potty mouth of our organization; Delilah never yielded to temptation. The siren’s song of sarcasm lured us both. Dee sugarcoated hers with a drawl. Billy Bob picked up cussing and snark like a Pittsburgh native. I suppose being terminally frustrated helped, since he ran the ‘on the ground’ operation solo. No lady versions of BB, so far.

I pulled my fancy, encrypted US government cell that came with our souped-up new G-Chick jobs, and scanned the recents. Bingo. One contact jabbed; speaker phone engaged. It rang while we stared at