The School of Anime Characters

By Eustacia Tan

All Freida wants is to be normal. Getting sent to ‘The School for Anime Characters’ was definitely not part of the plan. Being told she was the hero — well, things couldn’t get worse than that. Can her new classmates get her to embrace her inner hero, or is the world doomed to be overrun by crazy fangirls? 

The School of Anime Characters is a collection of short stories that add up to roughly 12,000 words, or about 48 book pages.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Eustacia Tan
• Release date: May 2, 2016
• ISBN: 9789810996123

Eustacia Tan

Eustacia hates writing about herself, especially in third person. She would, however, like to tell you that she’s been an insatiable reader since she was young. The plot bunnies eventually got to her, and she started writing some of her stories down. Eustacia is from sunny Singapore, but currently lives in Japan as a university student.

Book preview

The School of Anime Characters

All Freida wants is to be normal. Getting sent to ‘The School for Anime Characters’ was definitely not part of the plan. Being told she was the hero — well, things couldn’t get worse than that.  Can her new classmates get her to embrace her inner hero, or is the world doomed to be overrun by crazy fangirls?

The School of Anime Characters is a collection of short stories that add up to roughly 12,000 words, or about 48 book pages.

Note 1

This story contains Singlish and Japanese words as well as one or two acronyms. I did try to get rid of them, but we Singaporeans love our acronyms. For your convenience, a glossary has been added to the back of the book. The remaining, uninfected, parts of the book are written in Singapore Standard English, which is based on British English, not American English.

Note 2

A note about Japanese pronunciation: Japanese is pronounced by syllable. So words like Megane would be pronounced Meh-gah-neh, and dare will be pronounced as dah-reh.

How to be Wapanese: A Guide for Newbies

Hello, dear reader, and thank you for picking up this guide. May I first say, welcome to the wonderful and exciting world of Wapanese (or in the vernacular, Weeaboo). This short guide will introduce you to the different aspects of the Wapanese life and teach you how to live it. Never let this guide leave your hand, unless of course, you actually want to be 'normal' (oh, the horror). 

You may have realised your inner Wapanese after watching your first anime, listening to your first Visual Kei song or reading your first manga. Hold on to that precious joy, the one that tells you that the Japan that sprung out from your imagination in the first contact is the true Japan, for it shall guide you. Hey you, you who started with Ichi the Killer. Put down that knife right now. Yes, the one you're holding in your hands. And make sure someone hides all murderous weapons away from you before you resume reading. This is a blood and splatter free zone.

Now, hang on to your fake kimonos or maid costumes, as I take you on a whirlwind tour through the many facets of Wapanese-ness.

Language: Speak like a native

The appeal of Japan lies in how exotic it is. And by learning to speak Japanese, you too can become foreign and exotic. 

Here’s the good news—you don’t have to take Japanese classes to learn Japanese. Why bother with the mundane and unimportant things like homework, teachers, non-Wapanese classmates, or grammar? No, the goal here is to be as Wapanese as possible, not to take a serious interest in the language. Do not bother changing your major—unless you intend to change it to one that allows you to study anime and manga the whole day, in which case, why are you still reading this? 

Here is the secret to learning Japanese. Are you ready? 

Here goes everything. 

Learn the keywords, then use them as many times as possible. 

The keywords are: 

•  Kawaii: This means cute, but use it for anything you fancy, even if it’s just slightly. Remember, if you aren’t breaking eardrums when you’re squealing the word, you aren’t pronouncing it properly.

•  Desu: This goes to the end of every sentence. Leave it out and no one will know how special you are.

•  Totemo: Kawaii not working for you? Use totemo in front of kawaii, and all your problems are solved. There are no alternatives, so don’t bother looking.

•  Oyasumi, Konnichiwa, Ohayo: Don’t know what to say? Use the appropriate greeting. Who cares if the photo is of an American ice-cream bar, just use one of these words and WHAM, Wapanese.

•  ^_^: :) is not a smiley face. (: Is just a colon after a bracket. XD is marginally acceptable. ^_^, ^_______^ and the variations:

=.= 

=________=, and 

><

are the gold standard. You won’t even need to use Japanese to appear Wapanese. Remember, there is no such thing as moderation. Please refer to the appendix for an exhaustive list. 

Look at how short this list is! I bet you’re smart enough to have memorised it already.