Hello Gomorrah

By Bud Nilsson

Killed in a car crash, Homer T. Quest arrives at the pearly gates. Learning the hereafter has no sex, coffee nor golf, he accepts a deal from St Peter, returning to earth to study America’s problems. He gives reports to an apprentice angel,in spite of adversity by an old enemy, romance, and a weird companion group; a Japanese lady elitist, a private investigator and a georgous Korean hooker.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bud Nilsson
• Release date: Sep 18, 2012
• ISBN: 9781301253814

Book preview

Chapter 1

It was pitch dark. Off in the distance, I could see a circle of bright light, but I did not feel like I was in a tunnel. I reached out my arms, probing for walls or a ceiling, but I felt nothing, just empty space. Strangely, I was drawn to the bright circle of light, as if by magnetism.

Once, I was hypnotized by a stage performer. I was instructed to do some foolish things as jokes, things that would make me look silly and get a laugh from the audience. I didn’t really feel compelled to do those stupid things; but strangely, I was motivated to humor the hypnotist, so I did the stupid things.

I had the same feeling as I stood there in the dark looking at that bright circle of light. Should I humor someone? So motivated, I went to the circle and saw it as a passage, filled with dense fog. After a few seconds, motivated as before, I stepped through the passage.

On the other side of the circle of light I encountered a bright, beautiful day, but, most of my body and the area around me were hidden by a low ground fog extending all the way to the horizon.

There was not a cloud in the sky, but curiously, I could not see any buildings or other anomalies above the fog, not even way off in the distance.

Behind me I perceived a weird wall, perhaps seven or eight feet tall, having sort of a pearlescent finish and containing a nearby double gate.

When I turned to study the wall, I confronted a human face, it looked to be about --- well, maybe age thirty five or so, but it was difficult to tell. It was a nice looking face, but weird; specifically, not only was it hard to judge the age of the face, but also, I couldn’t tell if it was male or female. Then, the face communicated, Are you okay, Homer T. Quest?

I was thinking about an answer. I don’t know, everything seems so strange. You know, I don’t remember anything after the initial crash of the cars. Then, I woke up in this place.

Actually, I never spoke those words, but the face got them and gave me an answer, the face’s words just came into my head. Just try to relax Homer, and we will discuss things. Then I realized that, somehow, we were conversing by thought transference.

So strange. Where I am, I thought.

I’ll try and explain everything to you Homer, but it will take a little time.

How do you do that? I thought. How are you reading my mind?

Don’t worry about specifics right now Homer. You have been through a trying and traumatic ordeal. There are some things you need to realize before we can move on with your situation.

Pondering the face’s comment I thought, Wow, I could really use a cup of coffee, Again, I didn’t say it, but just thought it.

Promptly, a response came into my head: No Homer, the truth is, you really could not use a cup of coffee.

I tried to swallow, then realized the face was right. I could not drink coffee or anything for that matter. I couldn’t even swallow.

For some reason, perhaps in my confusion, I waved my hand around through the fog to try to fan it about. It didn’t move, it simply hid my hand. I was overwhelmed in this strange place. I am so confused, I thought.

Of course you are confused Homer. Let me explain. I’m sort of your escort here; please call me ‘Pete.’ You see Homer, you’ve passed over. That’s always a bit of a shock. There was a hesitation, then the face continued. I’ll help you along through this transition thing.

I felt panic. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You mean, you mean, I’m,--- I’m dead?

Well yes, you’ve got it. That’s pretty much the situation. Are you okay with that?

I hesitated in shock. I guess I’m okay-- ---- I thought slowly. Then I fully realized what had happened. Well, no, hell no, I’m not okay. No. If I’m dead, how can I be okay? This is serious. Hell!

Yes, Homer. It was the car accident. Sometimes , ----

I interrupted Pete’s thought in progress with an overpowering thought of my own. Wait a minute. Just wait, just wait a damned minute. If I’m dead, I hesitated. Well, am I in heaven or hell?

Pete conveyed a little chuckle. It’s not quite that simple Homer. Right now you’re at sort of a way station. It’s a place where things get reviewed and then it’s decided where you will go next. There are several possibilities. Let’s see— Pete hesitated, seeming to be considering a mass of thoughts. Then I got: You are soul number 3,769,478, 771.

That’s a whole lot of souls, I commented.

Well, there have been a lot of classifications, and there will be a lot more. But fortunately, you are fine Homer, you came through World with a satisfactory standing. Right now a lot of people from World are not quite up to standard, so to speak.

What about my passenger in the car, Elizabeth, is she okay? I asked.

Sorry, no, she didn’t make it either.

Hell. Can I see her?

Perhaps later. Incidentally, the driver of the other car is fine. She was drunk.

She was drunk? I pondered.

Yes, answered Pete.

For a time we didn’t converse. Without much success, I tried to accept the fact that I was dead. I finally transmitted (or I guess ‘thought’) So, what happens now?

Let me check a little further on how you did in your trip to World.

Probably not so great. I was a lawyer.

Well the fact that you are here indicates that you didn’t do too bad. The way things are on world right now, that’s good.

Where do the people go who don’t make it here?

Look Homer, you will understand everything in time, but right now let’s just concentrate on where to send you.

Where can I go?

That’s about to be decided. The main thing is that you’ve got a future for the continued advancement of your soul. So you must have done some good things on World.

"Well, ----is it ‘Pete’?

Yes.

Well Pete, I don’t know, but if you look at the Ten Commandments, I never murdered anyone.

The operative word is not murder, it’s kill."

I don’t know about your language here, but in English the word kill makes the commandment so broad it’s almost meaningless. I mean, to be good you could not even swat a mosquito.

Homer, sometimes it gets a little complicated and you’ll have plenty of time to get it all straightened out. For now let’s get on with the question of: What are we going to do with you?

Wait a minute, I thought. How about adultery? We need some help with interpretations of that one too."

All in good time.

At that minute, a persistent thought entered my mind. "Pete, what is your sex? I didn’t say it, I just thought it. Then I wondered if Pete got it, after all, this thought-transference stuff was tricky and I didn’t quite have the hang of it. Pete received my thought and responded.

Homer, we don’t have sex here.

Wait, you don’t have different types of sex, like boy or girl, male or female?

Nope, no sex

Then, I couldn’t help it. I just spontaneously thought, What about the other kind of sex? Like what happens between a male and a female?

No sex Homer.

What about the other places where I might be sent, do any of those places have sex?

No, replied Pete. Sex is limited to World as one of the ‘testing and learning’ features of the planet.

Pity, I thought. I was finally just beginning to get a little knowledge of how to deal with women.

Well don’t worry about it, replied Pete.

With effort, I suppressed my next thought, no coffee, no sex. Pete didn’t respond so I guess my thought did not get transmitted. I then wondered if they have golf courses in any of the places open to me? I love golf. That question got transmitted.

Pete responded. No. Again, golf courses are unique to world, another testing facility. We don’t have them in any of the realms.

I thought of an old golf joke. In hell, they have lots of beautiful golf courses, and wonderful clubs, but no balls.

Pete brought me back to the instant situation. I think you’d like Armdenstend. It’s a place where there is a lot of room for advancement of the soul, and I think you’re ready for that stage.

Wait a minute Pete. Then, I tried not to transmit what I was thinking. With no coffee, sex, or golf at the places where I could go, I really wanted to go back to World. In view of my age and my stage of life, there was something that I was just not quite ready for: dying.

Pete, I expressed as seriously as I could manage, Is there any way I could go back to World?

Homer, you’ve gotten about everything you can get out of World. You’re ready to move on.

But is there an option? I communicated.

Not really. Can you imagine how many souls plead with me to go back to World?

I guess that would be quite a few.

It would be a whole lot. The fear of the unknown can be powerful stuff, and many souls seem to think they have a good reason to go back. Things like, they just started a new business that was going to change the world; or they were in the middle of writing a television series and people will be disappointed without knowing the ending; or even, they finally got the promotion they’d been working for their entire life. All good reasons, but not good enough. The progression of their soul is far more important for them than most worldly things, and in time, they’ll understand.

How about, I’m writing a book, I asked.

It would have to be a book I thought was very special, perhaps, it would help if I was one of the characters, Peter chuckled.

I wondered if I had a good reason to go back to World. I tried not to have strong or definitive thoughts that would communicate but I don’t know whether I was succeeding or not. Based on Pete’s examples I knew that I was going to need a better excuse than, I have a cat that really needs me

Unfortunately, that one got transmitted and Pete responded. Don’t even consider it Homer. You don’t have any pets and certainly not a cat.

Damn, this thought transmission stuff is proving to be a bit of a pain.

Yes Homer, it is difficult. But, with time you will master it.

Without the privacy of my thoughts I felt naked. I mustered up every ounce of my energy and concentrated on not transmitting. Then, I thought, A sick relation?

No, No, No, Homer, transmitted Pete. So far as you know, you don’t have any living relatives.

Thinking, I recalled a program I had been working on. I tried to consider it without transmitting.

When I was in law school, at the end of the second year a professor had tossed out several summer projects that students might find interesting. A buddy and I decided to work on one such project; a study concerning cases in which the Supreme Court had overstepped the role envisioned for it by the founding fathers under the United States Constitution. Mostly, the concern was with cases that might have a negative impact on the country.

Soon after we got started on the study, we realized the ponderous nature of the project and my buddy immediately dropped out. I forged on for a few weeks until I got a summer job at a law firm, then I too abandoned the project. However, for some reason I retained an interest in the subject and kept my notes.

Several months ago, I had a slack period in my practice and I got back into the Supreme Court project. Since then, whenever I had a free day or so I would spend it at the law library doing research. It was actually a welcome change for me and I imagined that sometime I would write a significant article on the subject for publication.

Suddenly, by thought-transference, Pete brought me back to my situation at the way station. So, other than your love for sex, golf and coffee, and the fact that you have no pets or living relatives, what is going to be the reason for your plea to go back to World?

I suspected that my project was probably too insignificant to get my life back on World, and in the disappointment I let down all of my mental guards.

I thought about the research that I had done and the hours I’d spent on the cases. I couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for myself because my project would never be completed. It was such a compelling topic and it would have pointed out how much we have mutated the Constitution. Lost in my pity party, Pete snapped me back to reality.

Homer, what were you just thinking about?

Nothing. Just an old research project that I will never get to finish.

Okay, well I think it is best that we move forward with this process. The initial adjustment period is always tough, but the most important thing… Then Pete’s face went blank for several seconds and I received no communication.

Well what? What is the most important thing? I asked.

"You know Homer, we’ve got a new program that might interest you.

Right now Lord is not very happy with what’s happening in parts of World, like in your homeland, the USA. Of course, Lord knows exactly what’s happening there, but Lord wants to get some local insight. So this program has been set up for a few souls from World, like you, to go back, study the situation and report.

The select few will report on ‘what has happened down there in World during the last several decades and why are things not the way they used to be. If you qualify, do you think you would be interested in the program?

Yes, but I have a question. Exactly what do you mean when you say ‘what happened down there?

Homer, just take a look at your ‘pledge of allegiance’ to your flag for an example. That will tell you a lot.

Chapter 2

Whenever I think of the ‘pledge of allegiance’ I recall a bit of interesting legal drama that I saw play out several years ago in a court room, Los Angeles Federal District Court.

I was waiting for a jury trial in progress to reach a convenient time for a break when the judge would declare a recess, give the jury a brief rest and hear arguments on a few motions involving other cases, including mine. Such was the custom.

As the jury trial proceeded, a young attorney wanted to have a young boy testify as a witness. In order to qualify for giving testimony, a witness must have the ability to observe, remember and communicate. For adults, these capacities are presumed. However, for children there is a little testing procedure to ascertain the requisite ability.

Essentially the attorney who is seeking a child’s testimony questions the child preliminarily on the witness stand to establish that the child is capable. In the jury case in progress, the young attorney called the boy to the witness stand for the preliminary examination.

The boy was a nice looking young lad, perhaps eight years old, well dressed and seemingly intelligent. Apparently the young attorney wanted the boy’s testimony to appear unrehearsed and consequently they had not discussed any questions in advance. After greeting the boy, the young attorney asked the boy if he knew of the pledge of allegiance.

Yes, said the boy, perhaps a little tense. Then he turned to the judge and said, Yes Sir.

Can you say it? I mean the pledge of allegiance, asked the attorney.

Yes Sir, said the boy.

Will you say it?

Yes Sir, said the boy. He stood erect and said the pledge perfectly, then sat down.

A look of satisfaction crossed the young attorney’s face. He