The Spacetastic Adventures of Mr. Space and Captain Galaxy: Season Two: The Spacetastic Adventures of Mr. Space and Captain Galaxy, #7

By T.L. Charles

As adventurers of the grand cosmos, Mr. Jason Space and Captain Helena Galaxy seek to discover new worlds and new adventures and to have fun while doing it. They will never do paid mercenary work, no matter how good the offer, for they are explorers and not mercenaries. They will complete every mission they undertake, no matter how much trouble it gets them into. And they will never give up, regardless of whatever menacing aliens or dangerous obstacles they run into.

The complete season two collection includes:

Episode One: Doctor Discovery, Man of Science

Episode Two: In the Name of Efficiency

Episode Three: Robot Rights

Episode Four: Back to School

Episode Five: Like Father, Like Daughter

PLUS all five Spacetastic Interviews!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Annulus Publishing
• Release date: Mar 26, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524264918

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Episode One:

Doctor Discovery, Man of Science

INCOMING MESSAGE FROM UNKNOWN STARSHIP. CONNECT?

Helena Galaxy—who preferred to be called Captain Galaxy—looked up from the computer monitor floating in front of her, which displayed her and Mr. Space's recent finances after they had just sold some unusual space rocks to a museum on Namox. The large, stationary computer monitor at the end of the bridge displayed the message itself. And rather than show a still image of whoever was trying to contact them, it displayed a blank gray square, which meant that the ship's owner had not been identified.

Galaxy frowned and considered rejecting the request before deciding to find out who owned the ship. Computer, identify owner of unknown ship.

ERROR. SHIP ID NUMBER NOT IN DATABASE. CONNECT ANYWAY?

Galaxy continued to frown. She didn't like connecting with unidentified starships. Ships that lacked an ID number typically belonged to criminals. She probably should have just told the Adventure's computer to reject whoever was trying to contact them, especially when she was in the middle of figuring out just how much money Space and she had made from their recent sale and how much of that they would have to pay in taxes to the Universal Alliance (which, based on her current estimates, was a depressingly high percentage).

Just as she was about to tell the computer to reject the connection, the computer suddenly said, INCOMING MESSAGE FROM UNKNOWN SHIP HAS HACKED THROUGH SECURITY DEFENSES. RELAYING MESSAGE NOW.

The computer's monotone voice was replaced by the strained, fearful voice of a man saying, Hello! Hello! Is anybody there? Someone help me. My ship has broken down and I cannot repair it. Please, whoever is listening to this message, send help right away!

Galaxy did not recognize that voice, although it seemed to stir a memory in the back of her mind. She leaned forward and said, "This is Captain Galaxy of the Adventure speaking. Who is this?"

This is— the man's connection must have been poor, because his name was lost in the static. Please help! I don't know how much air I have left. You must save me, for I am the greatest scientific mind of my generation!

Greatest scientific mind of his generation? Galaxy thought with a frown. Now where have I heard that before?

While Galaxy thought that over, the door to the bridge slid open and both Mr. Space and Sparky entered. They were in the middle of some kind of conversation, with Space saying, And then my brother said, 'What, is that an artichoke'? And I said, 'No, that's an almond!'

Sparky tilted his robotic head to the side, but did not laugh at what Space obviously intended to be the punchline of some weird story Galaxy didn't know. That's an interesting story, Mr. Space, but I don't understand the part where your brother tried to sell a million and one fake banana peels to a Delkarian trader.

It's—oh, never mind, said Space, shaking his head. You had to be there to get it. It was hilarious.

Sparky opened his mouth to say something else, but then the voice of the man spoke from the monitor again. Please, Captain Galaxy, save me! My com-watch is barely functioning as is and my ship's computers are all offline. I am sending the coordinates of my ship to you right now even as we speak. Now I must cut off our connection, because I must conserve what air that I can until you arrive. Good bye.

The speaker clicked off. The blank image on the screen was then replaced with the coordinates of an unidentified starship that was not far from their current position.

Space pointed at the screen and asked, Galaxy, who was that?

I don't know, said Galaxy, shaking her head. He's someone stuck on a ship that's broken down in the middle of space. That's all he told me.

Then we should help him, said Space. He folded his arms over his chest. It's in the Space Explorers' Code, after all. 'We must always help those whose starships are stranded in space, even if they are strangers.'

I know, said Galaxy. "But the Adventure couldn't identify that guy's ship. He might be a violent sociopath for all I know. Or some kind of criminal trafficking humans and aliens alike."

But how do you know that for sure? said Space. "He's still a person who needs to be saved, doesn't he? And hey, those coordinates don't look very far from our current position anyway. Why not just stop by and see who he is and how we can help? If he was really doing anything illegal, do you think that he would be contacting us out of the blue like this?"

Galaxy almost rejected Space's idea anyway, but then sighed and said, All right. We'll go and find out who he is. But if he's some kind of violent or deranged criminal, then we'll just leave him floating in the depths of space, okay?

That seems unusually cruel, said Sparky. Why not contact the authorities and tell them where his ship is so they can take care of him?

All right, said Galaxy. If he's a criminal, we'll do that. Anyway, I'll enter the coordinates he gave us. In the meantime, we should get ready to board his ship and help him, if necessary.

-

It wasn't long before they found the starship in question. Floating in the middle of space all by itself, the ship—with the name Anagnorisis painted in bold blue letters on its hull—was about half the size of the Adventure. It had an antiquated look about it. To Galaxy, it reminded her of the Lightning Cruisers that were popular among space explorers at the Dawn of Space Exploration, although it had quite a few modern additions to it, such as plasma cannons on its sides and two jet engines that looked like they might have at one point belonged to a Star-class Moon-killer.

In any case, the coordinates that the mysterious man had given them matched with this ship's location, so Sparky flew the Adventure over the top of the Anagnorisis, where its hatch was located. The Adventure connected to the Anagnorisis with a metal tube that would protect anyone who traveled between them.

Galaxy and Space had gone down from the bridge to the tube's entrance from the Adventure's side. Both of them wore spacesuits suited for anti-gravity missions, as well as carried their light-guns at their sides. Space had said he didn't think they would need their light-guns, but Galaxy had insisted he bring one anyway in case they needed to defend themselves from whatever might be on that ship.

Once the Adventure and the Anagnorisis were safely connected, the tube opened, as did the hatch to the Anagnorisis (which seemed to open on its own, likely as an automatic response to the Adventure connecting to it), and Galaxy went down first, climbing down the ladder built into the tube's interior. Space followed, and less than a minute later, Galaxy's feet found nothing and she let go of the ladder. She then fell onto the floor of the interior of the Anagnorisis, landing on her feet without any trouble.

Standing up and stepping aside to allow Space to fall down next to her, Galaxy looked around the interior of the ship. They were now inside the Anagnorisis's airlock, a cramped room little bigger than Galaxy's closet. The airlock was closed tightly, according to the green check mark above its door, which meant that it was safe to breathe in here. Still, Galaxy kept her helmet on and did not advise Space to remove his. She checked the air contamination levels on her suit's built-in environmental scanner, watching the bars on it go up and down until they stabilized and confirmed that the air was indeed safe to breathe.

Well, we're here, said Space as he looked around the airlock. Did the man tell us where he is on the ship?

No, said Galaxy, shaking her head. She drew her light-gun. But if I had to guess, I'd say that he's probably on the bridge or control room of his ship. I'm familiar with the basic layout of Lightning Cruisers, so it shouldn't take us long to find him.

Okay, said Space. He grimaced when he saw her light-gun. "But do you have to have your light-gun out already? I mean, I don't see any potential threats right now, so pulling out your gun right now seems a bit unnecessary."

Galaxy looked at Space in annoyance. I'm just being cautious. These are very fishy circumstances under which to run into strangers. I've heard loads of stories about pirates and other criminals pretending to be innocent travelers or merchants stranded in space, only to raid the ships of anyone naïve enough to try to help them.

Okay, okay, said Space as he draw his own light-gun and checked it over once. I got it. Lead the way, Captain.

Galaxy rolled her eyes and then walked forward into the ship's hall directly ahead. She heard Space follow behind her, which made her feel a little safer, but not by much, mostly because the ship's confined quarters meant that if anyone was going to attack them, the two of them wouldn't have much room in which to dodge and fight.

The ship's hallway was well-lit, which meant that its engine must have still been working, but the ship itself was eerily quiet. It was so quiet that Galaxy heard her own heartbeat, which did not help her nerves. She just kept her light-gun up, ready to shoot anyone who tried to get them.

Just then, a loud thump from down the hall—near the control room, from what Galaxy could guess—caused both Space and she to jump. It almost made Galaxy fire off her light-gun before she got control of herself and realized that the thump had not been the first sign of attack from an enemy.

What was that? asked Space, but now he spoke in a low whisper, like he, too, feared that whoever was on this ship might attack him if he was too loud.

Not sure, said Galaxy. Could be something entirely innocuous, but I'm not taking any chances. Just be prepared to shoot if whatever is on this ship turns out to be dangerous.

In about five minutes, the two space explorers emerged into what was obviously the Anagnorisis's control room. Like everything else on the ship, the control room was small and cramped, with six modern-looking computer monitors built into the walls above the touch screen control panel. There were coffee stains on the touch screen control panel and the control room itself smelled of chocolate for some reason, but Galaxy's eyes were drawn instead to the body lying face down on the floor.

The man was middle-aged, but even from behind, Galaxy could tell that he looked younger than that. He had short, nearly-combed black hair, and his skin had an olive color to it. He was well-built and wore a skintight bodysuit that accentuated his athletic form.

He was so still that Galaxy at first thought he was dead. Then she heard him breathing and realized that he had simply lost consciousness.

Is that the guy who contacted us from the ship? said Space, who was also looking at the unconscious man lying on the floor.

Probably, said Galaxy. She looked around the control room briefly but saw no one else. We'll have to check on him to be sure. But slowly now, because this could be a trick. Back me up.

Galaxy walked up to the unconscious man, who was still breathing, albeit shallowly. He seemed unarmed. At least, Galaxy didn't see any weapons in his hands or holstered at his side. Of course, he could have had some sort of technology hidden under his skin that he could use to attack them, but that seemed unlikely to Galaxy, as she saw no evidence to suggest that.

She gently nudged the unconscious man, but he didn't even react to that. Meanwhile, Space walked up to the monitors and control panel. He put his light-gun down on the chair and looked at each monitor, which displayed only static at the moment.

Wonder what happened here, said Space. He tapped the touch screen control panel, but it didn't activate. The control panel doesn't even work. Wonder what this guy's been through.

Galaxy shook her head. No idea. He seems out cold. Let's try flipping him over. Maybe we'll be able to identify him if we see his face.

Together, the two of them pushed the man over onto his back. They did it gently, however, because Galaxy was not certain what kind of injuries the man might have received or what kind of pain he was experiencing at the moment.

His face was old-fashioned, with a square jaw and a large forehead. His eyes were closed, making it impossible to tell what color they were. He had no visible injuries, whether on his face or on his body, but he was so still that Galaxy was convinced that he must have been injured in some way, maybe internally. Or perhaps he was suffering from lack of air. Her suit's computers told her that, while the Anagnorisis did indeed have a good supply of air, it was also rather thin, which explained why this man was unconscious.

Despite all of that, Galaxy did not recognize the man at all. His general appearance did stir a memory in the back of her head, but even then, it was more like a feeling, a feeling of annoyance, like he resembled someone stupid she had once known a long time ago. That didn't help her, however, because she had known a lot of stupid people in her time.

Galaxy looked up at Space. Recognize him?

Space shook his head. No. Does he have an ID card on him?

Galaxy checked the man's suit and found a Universal ID Card, a card handed out to all citizens of the Universal Alliance. Written in Universal Common upon the plastic surface of the card was the name David Columbus, which again made Galaxy to feel like she had heard that name somewhere before. It also listed off the man's height, eye color (blue, according to the card), weight, and ID number, but none of that helped Galaxy identify him.

We can have Sparky analyze his ID card when we return to the ship, said Galaxy as she pocketed David Columbus's card into the front pocket of her spacesuit. He can run it by the UA's database, which should hopefully be able to help us identify him and figure out where he's from. Then maybe we can send him back to his home world, wherever that is.

Don't you think we should explore his ship some more first? asked Space, glancing at the static monitors. Maybe we can find clues to his identity among his possessions or what happened here.

No, said Galaxy, shaking her head. "He clearly needs medical attention first. We should take him back to the Adventure first, heal him as best as we can, and then, if he awakens, ask him some questions about how he ended up like this."

Space nodded. Okay. This ship gives me the creeps anyway. Feels like someone is watching me.

Probably just your imagination, said Galaxy. "Anyway, help me pick up David here. I'll send Sparky a message to send a rope down to help us haul him up into the Adventure."

-

Twenty minutes later, the man that the ID card called David Columbus lay on the medical table in the Adventure's sickbay. He had not moved at all since Galaxy and Space had transported him out of his ship, although Galaxy was glad about that because that made it easier for Space and her to move him.

The Adventure's sickbay was a medium-sized room with about six cabinets full of various kinds of medicine and bandages, with many different surgical tools hidden in the drawers under the white counter top underneath the cabinets. There were two beds, although they had a third, generally unused cot in the closet on the opposite side of the room in case they needed to have more than two people in here at any one time.

Above David was a large, metal bar that moved up and down his body. It was an x-ray device that would help pinpoint any internal injuries in David's body, although so far the monitors connected to the device showed no serious issues with David's body at all.

Galaxy, Space, and Sparky stood near the second bed, watching the x-ray device going over David. Galaxy's arms were folded over her chest, while Space sat on the second bed with his shoulders slumped forward. Sparky's optics were on the monitors that displayed the x-ray device's results, although he occasionally glanced at the device itself to make sure it was working properly.

Hmm, said Sparky, stroking his metallic chin. There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with this David Columbus man at all. He seems to have suffered oxygen deprivation, but even then, the monitors suggest that he is not going to suffer any long-term consequences from the deprivation.

He sure looks familiar, said Space. He looked at Galaxy. Have you seen him before, Galaxy?

Galaxy scratched the back of her head. I don't think so, but I agree that he seems extremely familiar. Like he's some kind of celebrity, which is odd, because I generally don't pay attention to celebrities at all.

Space jumped off the bed. "I should go and get my copies of Celebrity Secrets Shamelessly Revealed. Maybe he's a famous holofilm actor who will give me—er, I mean us, of course—a role in his next major holofilm!"

Space was about to run off before Galaxy grabbed his arm and said, in the sternest voice she could muster, No. That magazine is trash and you know it.

But how would you know if it's trash if you've never even read it? asked Space, struggling to get Galaxy to let go of his arm, although she didn't budge at all. Besides, I don't need to actually go to my room to get the zines, you know. I can get them right here and now.

Before Galaxy could ask him how he intended to do that, Space snapped his fingers and a hole in the ceiling slid open directly above them. A second later, a thumb drive fell out of the hole and into Space's open hand, which he immediately connected to his com-watch's conversion port.

Galaxy looked up at the hole in the ceiling of the sickbay just as it was covered again by the tile that had been hiding it earlier. "Where did that come from?"

"Mr. Space asked me to help install a chute connecting his room to the sickbay in the event that he needed his thumb drive containing all one-hundred and thirty-eight point six issues of Celebrity Secrets Shamelessly Revealed in this sort of situation, Sparky said. It was difficult to install it without you noticing, but—"

"Are you telling me that you modified my ship without my permission? Galaxy said, her tone rising and her hands on her hips. Are you also going to tell me why I shouldn't punt you two out of the Adventure's airlock for modifying my ship without my permission? How the hell did you even do that without me noticing?"

It was three months ago, when you went to the Annulus to sell some of those rocks on Magna Five that you and Mr. Space retrieved, Sparky said. While you were down there, Mr. Space came up to me and said, and I quote, 'Hey, Sparky, I have a GREAT idea,' and then I said—

Sparky's story—which was already causing Galaxy's blood pressure to rise higher than was healthy for her—was interrupted by a dramatic cry from the second bed, where David Columbus lay. All three of the explorers looked at David, who was now tossing and turning like he was having the worst nightmare of his life.

Without warning, David's eyes flew open and he immediately grabbed the scanner, which had been directly above his head. That in itself was neither shocking nor odd. It was only when he ripped the scanner off its hinges, sending sparks flying, and threw it onto the floor that Galaxy had to pull out her light-gun and aim it at him.

Galaxy expected David to jump off the bed and start attacking them, but instead he sat up and looked around in confusion. The scanner's wiring hanging from the ceiling above him was still sparking, but David barely paid any attention to that. Instead, he was looking around the room as if he thought he was surrounded by his worst enemies.

Where ... where am I? said David, his voice even more dramatic than it had been back in the bridge. What is this place? Have I been kidnapped by the government in their attempt to keep my amazing scientific brain from revealing my universe-shattering discoveries to the public?

Then David looked over at Space, Galaxy, and Sparky. His eyes—which were as blue as his ID card had said they were—stared at them with such intensity that even Galaxy found it hard to keep aiming her gun at him, although once again something in his demeanor felt familiar to her.

Are you government agents? said David. He jumped off the bed and assumed a cheesy karate pose. If you are, then I will fight you to the death here and now and then commandeer your ship, which I will use to resume my mission to fight for science wherever I go.

Hold on, said Space, holding up his hands. Uh, David—

David's eyes grew as wide as saucers. How do you know my real name? I have never shared my real name with anyone, especially with government agents like yourselves.

We're not from the government, said Galaxy. She drew David's ID card out of her breast pocket and held it up for him to see. We found your ID card on your body. It has your name, age, date of birth, height, weight, and so on.

Ah, yes, said David, who looked a little bit more relaxed now, though he didn't drop his karate pose. I remember. Yes, I do have an ID card. But I am surprised that you know about them. After all, I only discovered the technology behind ID cards recently myself after several months of research and experimentation in the field.

Every citizen of the Universal Alliance has an ID card, said Sparky. Actually, every citizen usually has at least two. One ID card proving their UA citizenship and one proving their citizenship of whatever planet they hail from. Inhabitants of the space habitat known as the Annulus have a third, which proves their citizenship on the Annulus.

Truly? said David. He frowned. Damn it. It appears that my rival must have already stolen and leaked my research to the Universal Alliance. It is amazing how quickly this knowledge spreads, much like a venereal disease.

Actually, Mr. Columbus, ID cards in their current form have been in use for almost fifty years now, said Sparky. And on some planets, the technology is even older than that; for example, Earth has been issuing ID cards to its citizens ever since the Dawn of Space Exploration began nearly four centuries ago, when Earth made first contact with Namox.

David's eyes widened again. He even staggered back, like Sparky had punched him in the face. Oh no. This is even worse news than I feared. Do you know what that means?

Um, no? said Galaxy, trading confused looks with Space. We don't?

It means that my rival has somehow perfected time travel and went back in time to the Dawn of Space Exploration to implement my research well before I was even born, said David. He shook his fist at the ceiling. Damn you, Professor Plagiarist! One of these days, I will stop you and your diabolical theft of my intellectual property! One day, the truth will come out and you will be exposed for the fraud, liar, and thief that you are!

There was no 'Professor Plagiarist' in the Adventure (or anywhere in the known universe, to Galaxy's knowledge), but David apparently did not know or care about that. He just began muttering under his breath about how this was the fifteenth time the Professor has done something like this and exactly what he was going to do the next time he saw the Professor.

But then something clicked in Galaxy's mind. Professor Plagiarist ... Professor Plagiaras?

Suddenly, Galaxy knew exactly who the man standing before them was. He looked a little different—he lacked the white lab coat, for one—but beyond that, he looked exactly the same as Galaxy had seen him last.

Oh my god, said Galaxy under her breath. "Not this idiot."

Space and Sparky looked at Galaxy in confusion.

Who? said Space. He pointed at himself. Me?

No, not you, said Galaxy, shaking her head. She leaned closer to Space and Sparky, making sure that David could not hear her. She nodded at David. Him.

Him? said Space, his eyes flicking toward David. You know him?

"Know of him, said Galaxy with an annoyed sigh. He's—"

You three! said David, pointing at them as dramatically as if they were in a holofilm. "I must ask that you return my ID card to me and do not share any details of my true identity with anyone. Because if you do, that will make it so much easier for the government to put