Undiagnosed, Unscrupulous and Unbeatable: The Paul Haber Story

By Monty Nereim

Undiagnosed, Unscrupulous and Unbeatable chronicles the life of a quick-witted Jewish kid who battled child abuse, manic depression, personality disorder and alcohol to become one of history's greatest and most controversial handball players. Had these issues not been a part of his life, would he still have become a legendary superstar in his sport? Conflict and triumph have many stories, non like the saga of Paul Haber.
Charisma and manipulation bolstered his admiration and support by many well-intentioned enablers. Brazen intimidation, unscrupulous conduct and exceptional athleticism accounted for his succession of demoralizing victories over his opponents. His clashes with the very hand that fed him played out in juicy detail in Newsweek, Sports Illustrated, Argosy and Ace magazines as well as newspapers coast-to-coast, including the front page of the Wall Street Journal.
Haber was both loved and hated by many but the press and fans salivated over his every appearance. He rose to fame and misfortune upsetting everyone and everything in his path. Multi-millionaire Robert Kendler and others became his unwitting sponsors, providing money and excuses for his irresponsible actions, while applauding his unprecedented string of victories on the handball circuit.
The unflappable dark prince of handball was unfazed by authority. Time in jail, probation and commitment to a state mental institution provided colorful gossip but no real changes to the character of the unbeatable champ. Even his lucky escape from the Chicago Mob had little impact on Haber, until later.
Four failed marriages and an equal number of fatherless kids made for an interesting challenge for lawyers and court ordered support demands. Haber's callous disregard for responsibility equally matched his disdain for his opponents in handball. His reputation as a womanizer as well as his training regimen of cigarettes, booze and carousing were the antithesis of what the United States Handball Association attempted to convey to the public and defied his status as the nation's best handball player.
Haber's celebrity status climaxed with his challenge to the reigning national racquetball champion, Dr. Bud Muelheisen creating a furor over which sport was superior; handball or racquetball. For six years Haber reigned king of the hill in handball, and for years after he milked it as former royalty among handball enthusiasts. Labeled the bad boy of the sport, he relished his status as an unemployed "handball bum."
The Paul Haber story is an intriguing chronicle of this gifted but cursed superstar of the 1960's and 70's when handball was at is zenith in popularity. Nereim chronicles the significant events in Haber's life that render him the unlikely paradigm of legend and tragedy.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Jan 15, 2016
• ISBN: 9780996891615

Monty Nereim

Monty Nereim was born in South Dakota and grew up in Vietnam as a US marine. He benefitted from two careers—military officer and magazine publisher—before starting his writing venture. He is also the author of Undiagnosed, Unscrupulous and Unbeatable: The Paul Haber Story. He and his wife, Sharon, call La Jolla, California home. When not writing, he travels, golfs, and plays handball.

Book preview

Enjoy.

PROLOGUE

It seemed like any other Friday-night drive to the club for Randy Matthews en route to his regular handball ritual. After a quick change in the locker room and a skip down the steps, he stood at the entrance to the courts. Today, an enthusiastic group of fellow players had gathered around a new player. Approaching the group, he learned that the visiting, out-of-town player was none other than the reigning national champion, Paul Haber.

Good news, Randy, said one of the guys. You’re next to team up with Haber in doubles. Randy gulped knowing he held a mediocre C player status at best. He knew his pairing with Haber attempted to even the sides for a match with the club’s best doubles teams.

All four players entered the court as Haber provided some brief guidance for his novice partner. "Hit the ball with your right hand, but only if you have a perfect shot. I’ll cover all the rest." Randy agreed and the game began. Haber and his humble doubles partner quickly dispatched the best doubles team in the club. Two other players waiting in the wings tried their luck. Again, no competition, and another team entered to play the two. Same results.

Randy enjoyed an epic evening on the handball court. He and his visiting partner had summarily beaten the club’s best players. Never in his wildest dreams had he envisioned winning against those guys. Despite Randy’s meager contribution, his team reigned victorious.

They savored the day’s matches over a few beers with the guys. Their honored guest also shared the fraternity-like revelry after handball. A delighted Haber reveled in the hospitality and attention he received. In a spontaneous show of appreciation, Randy invited Haber home for dinner. It was a modest bachelor pad suitable for light cooking and sported a foldout sofa bed in front of the TV for occasional, overnight visitors. Randy and his guest enjoyed a home-delivered pizza, a couple of beers, and a shot of Johnny Walker, Black Label along with some terrific handball conversation.

Randy invited Haber to camp out on his sofa. Haber accepted and Randy provided a pillow and blanket for his guest before retiring to his bedroom. The next morning, Haber was anxious to catch his flight and asked Randy for a ride to the airport. Though a little hungover, they engaged in friendly conversation during the drive. With a brief thanks, Haber grabbed his bag and sprang from the car at the departure drop off. Randy returned home for a little hangover nap.

The aroma of empty beer cans and a leftover pizza box prompted Randy to tidy up his apartment before committing to his snooze.

He found himself in an awkward situation. Who could he confide in regarding his empty bottle of expensive scotch and the forty dollars missing from his wallet? The embarrassment of circumstances spoiled any memories of his one famous evening of winning handball. Randy’s bitter taste of being conned by Haber is something that will be felt by many but openly shared by few.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Sam Haber.

(1914-1976) Paul’s frustrated, handball champion father.

Robert Kendler.

(1904-1982) The multi-millionaire businessman and founder of modern day handball.

Also, the self-appointed godfather and financier of Paul.

Paul Armando Morlos.

(1933-1998) Paul’s ever-faithful, fun-loving doubles partner. Also, the one with the American Express Card.

Mary O’Neill. (1938-present)

Paul’s third and most devoted wife. The hard-working breadwinner and bill payer of the Haber household.

Paul Haber (1937-2003).

Handball Champion.

CHAPTER 1

Early Indications of a Problem

1949

Glenview, Illinois. A suburb of Chicago.

Young Paul Haber frantically pedaled his bike as afternoon shadows yielded to dusk. Rounding a street corner in a middle-class neighborhood, he slowed near one of the driveways. The familiar blue sedan parked there indicated he had lost the race home. He U-turned and resumed pedaling back from where he’d come. His deep, dark-eyed gaze and emotionless face defied the seriousness of the situation.

I’ll tell him I had to work overtime, he pondered, or that I had to lock up. Paul’s pedaling slowed to a casual pace in sharp contrast to the wheels spinning in his mind. Where do I go? What do I do? What the hell!

Paul’s summertime job at Willow Hill Golf Course had its privileges, among them the unlimited use of the driving range. After completing his cleanup tasks, he spent hours there. He relished the attention and admiration he received from the older golfers for his magnificent golf swing. This was not an excuse good enough to escape the late-for-dinner wrath of his father, Sam Haber. Too many times he’d pummeled Paul for less. Having to explain that working overtime was necessary at Willow Hill made no difference. Admitting to getting totally engrossed hitting driving range balls only worsened Paul’s dilemma.

His thoughts crept back to the parent-teacher conference last year:

Ten-year-old Paul Haber nervously threw a rubber ball against the steps of a Chicago suburb grade school. Inside, his teacher apprised his parents, Sam and Dorothy Haber, of young Paul’s classroom performance. The matronly educator expressed her exasperation. Paul had exceptional test scores. However, his display of boredom overshadowed his potential. Surly and insolent characterized his behavior, and an utter disregard for the rights of his classmates compounded them.

They rode home in silence, interrupted only by Mrs. Haber’s nervous laughter over the appearance of a large, frightening jack-o’-lantern on a neighbor’s porch. Paul fidgeted in the backseat watching the passing scenery, knowing what lay ten minutes ahead.

Inside the house, Sam offered an old-school counseling session in his son’s bedroom—a close fisted beating. Paul dropped to a fetal position on the bedroom floor in an attempt to protect himself from the pounding blows of his angry father. Sam’s voice rasped in rhythm with the thumping sounds.

When will you learn, son? Do not bring shame on this family.

Paul’s younger brother and sister had witnessed it before. They stood outside the bedroom indifferent to the noise inside while Paul’s mother scurried about with make-busy kitchen tasks. As had happened many times before, Sam did not allow her to comfort her troubled son.

Remedy in the 40’s and 50’s for a boy’s errant conduct was through discipline. Good homes produced well-disciplined kids, but bad homes created kids with problems. Often a kid’s bad behaviors caused parental scrutiny. Their child’s conduct was merely a measuring instrument of the parents’ efforts. Beyond a school’s authority and the home’s discipline practices, problem kids had only one other recourse—reform school.

Few diagnostics existed to help young people with disciplinary problems. They had to conform or suffer the consequences. The parents were regularly apprised and expected to take the necessary steps to insure their child’s obedience in school. Most parents responded to the school’s prodding, but some parents more enthusiastically than others. Paul’s dad took it to a soaring level.

That day’s punishment lasted no more than four minutes, but it left bruise marks on Paul’s arms, back, and ribs that lasted a week. He was left alone to soothe his injuries and to think about the activities justified by his punishment. The untold emotional scars accumulated, confusing and compounding his vexing personality.

Forget dinner. Bicycling through the streets of the small, northern suburb of Chicago, Paul turned his thoughts to the looming darkness and the logistics of nighttime lodging. Disaffected relationships with neighborhood buddies limited his options. There must be somewhere he could spend the night.

Paul’s meandering found him parking his bike in front of the Sherman Road Presbyterian Church. Churches are always open, even to Jews, right? Paul entered cautiously and heard a meeting in progress in the office down the hall. He walked in the opposite direction, passed the water fountain, pushed open a heavy, oak door, and entered the sanctuary. Except for the streetlight reflecting through the massive, stained glass windows, a dark and eerie quiet hung over the room. A slight, familiar smell reminded him of Mom’s furniture polish. The unfamiliar atmosphere did not deter Paul from his mission: sleeping accommodations for the night. Long gone were the days when he snuggled in his mother’s warm arms and bosom before bedtime. Paul picked a middle pew, curled up, and fell asleep unmoved by any reckoning that still loomed.

One week later. Lake Forest YMCA.

Paul survived the beating for staying out all night. If nothing else, it only reinforced his disregard for physical pain. His dad soon allowed Paul to join him at the YMCA handball courts. Sam and a host of other players employed at Community Builders met there regularly to play the game they loved. Sam picked up Paul after work and took him to the courts to watch and possibly play.

Sam realized that his eldest of two sons had an innate ability for the game. He was blessed with quick reflexes and exceptional hand-eye coordination—and a drive to win.

Sam swelled with pride when young Paul played well enough with the older men to receive their praise. The vicarious channeling of young Paul’s performance at handball provided a perfect boost to Sam’s insatiable ego and his deeply rooted insecurities. Three years from then, a doubles team of father and son competed in the Illinois State Handball Championships. The joy of a father and son handball outing acted as temporary therapy.

Today’s highs portended tomorrow’s lows. The emotional and psychological effects of their father-son relationship would be difficult to measure. Paul’s conduct and Sam’s roller-coaster disposition provided a backdrop of uncertainty and tension at the Haber residence. The instability factor was an eggshell floor covering where the Haber kids walked lightly and rarely expressed themselves.

Paul’s inability to connect behavior with consequence only added to the problem and infuriated Sam to a boiling point. Sam made Paul suffer unimaginable physical abuse. Conversely, a wise and charming Paul understood early on that getting Dad’s approval was a necessary element for any semblance of home tranquility. He employed dishonesty to avoid Sam’s wrath.

The family members felt uncomfortable witnessing the beatings. Receiving them was to be avoided by any means. Sam’s inability to administer effective discipline only seemed to reinforce Paul’s emotionless lack of remorse or guilt. It also cultivated an imaginative and deceitful mind. A vicious cycle of treachery, aftermath, and relative calm prevailed within the walls of the Haber household.

Sam’s tirades and beatings affected everyone in the home. Mrs. Haber was resigned to homemaking chores and obedience. Younger brother, Roger, frail, sensitive, and afflicted with poor eyesight, received a milder version of Sam’s fury. Paul’s toddler sister, Terry, experienced the worst of Sam’s madness much later as a teenager. She admitted her suffering caused years of therapy. To the neighbors and outside acquaintances, the Haber family lived and navigated sublimely in Chicago’s suburbia.

Thus began one aspect of the complicated existence of the most talented and controversial handball player in history.

CHAPTER 2

An Undiagnosed Condition

Don’t let the voice of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice.

…Steve Jobs

Is it possible to be too close to a problem to recognize it? Could the Haber family and Paul’s closest friends have overlooked what was more obvious to outsiders? Understanding and intervening on issues dealing with personality and moods are a problem, especially among the untrained and emotionally connected. If the issues are minor, masked, or overshadowed by talent, it becomes even more vexing.

Healthy, smart, athletic, and precocious Paul had all the appearances of a typical kid. Had he been born with a deformed leg, Down syndrome, or a rash, he would have been diagnosed and treated accordingly. Like many seemingly normal individuals, some carried a hidden agenda, a silent disease, or an undiagnosed condition.

Unnoticed or ignored? In the 1950’s, an implied stigma attached to mental or emotional abnormalities existed. Everyone wanted to avoid that kind of label. If Paul was afflicted, his situation was further complicated by Sam’s ruthless approach to disciplining his son. The confusion between a potential mental condition and parental abuse resulted in neither being addressed. Consequently, Paul may have been one whose condition fell through the cracks—undiagnosed.

In the 1960’s, a national movement developed over the civil rights of mental patients. Harsh conditions in mental hospitals, advancements of psychotropic drugs, and government budgetary constraints led to the closure of several state mental institutions.¹ Counselling, medicating, and mainstreaming (outpatient treatment) programs were deemed the preferred method of treatment over inpatient care with electroconvulsive therapy, insulin coma therapy, and lobotomies.

Before his handball career, Haber was sometimes considered out of control and violent by his family. He was even committed to Agnew’s State Mental Hospital in Santa Clara, California. They eventually dismissed him without the benefit of a thorough evaluation or diagnosis. In the process of closing down and converting to a facility for the physically handicapped, Agnew’s encouraged less severe mental patients, including Haber, to try harder in their everyday environment and sent home.

Agnew’s deemed Haber’s problems alcohol related, and exacerbated by family conflict, not sufficient for prolonged inpatient care. He convinced (or outwitted) the medical staff that his condition was circumstantial and quite normal, and they discharged him.

It is often suggested that genius (or creative talent) and mental disorders are conspicuously linked. Speculative diagnoses of accomplished individuals (writers, composers, artists, and world leaders) is the theses of several authors². Psychiatrist Nassir Ghaemi argues that some of the world’s greatest leaders were successful not despite their mental illness but because of it. Ghaemi’s use of mental illness refers to mania and depression, and not to other mental illnesses such as schizophrenia or anxiety.

Rumors flourished about Paul Haber’s extraordinary talents. His athletic genius on the handball court, his skills at golf, pool, table tennis, and cards (bridge, gin, and poker) went far beyond the norm of his peers and associates as did his offensive behavior. Everyone familiar with Haber could not deny his unique persona. Some labeled him gifted, while others dismissed him as demonic. Both may have been correct.

Speculative and posthumous diagnoses of many talented people indicated they may have been affected by a mental disorder. If Haber was afflicted, he was in good company. Ludwig van Beethoven, the brilliant composer, experienced mental issues.³ England’s iconic WWII leader, Churchill, had his demons.⁴ Jimmy Piersall, the Boston Red Sox baseball player, suffered from a chronic mental condition.⁵ Charles Dickens, one of the greatest authors in the English language, suffered from clinical depression.⁶ Other notables, prior to the 20th century, may have incomplete or speculative diagnoses of mental disorders such as Vincent van Gogh, Edgar Allen Poe, and Napoleon Bonaparte.

Although it is doubtful Haber suffered the degree of disorder associated with some of