Maggie: The Hawthorne Sisters, #3

By Ava Catori

Maggie Hawthorne is a woman haunted by shadows and broken dreams. She desperately wants to enjoy life, but fear stands in her way. Keeping people out used to make her feel safe, but now it is just holding her back, especially from love.

Austin is drawn to Maggie's gentle nature, but can see there's something wrong. The closer he gets, the harder she pushes him away. Can Austin offer her the salvation she desperately needs or will she close herself off to any chance of happiness? Can he help release her pain and accept the love he's offering?

(Book 3 in The Hawthorne Series: Hannah, Allie, Maggie, Sarah)

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ava Catori Books
• Release date: Dec 12, 2013
• ISBN: 9781507083475

Book preview

Chapter 1

Maggie ran her finger along the edge of the envelope. Sliding out the folded letter, she reread the words she’d written. If only she had the nerve to send it. Carefully folding the paper back up, she slipped it back into the envelope and placed it in her top desk drawer.

What’s that? Sarah watched over her shoulder, leaning against the door frame to her sister’s room.

Maggie startled, not knowing her sister was there. Nothing. What do you want?

Mom needs help in the kitchen.

Okay.

Sarah started down the hallway with Maggie and then turned back. Glancing at Maggie’s desk, curiosity got the better of her. She almost reached for it, but coming to her senses went to the kitchen instead.

Maggie was still wrapped up in the letter. It’s not that she’d actually send it... well, maybe one day. Getting the words down meant they were no longer trapped inside of her. Instead they were captured on a piece of paper like fireflies in a jar on a hot summer’s night. She wanted to believe she’d set the letter free and send it to him, but knew she’d let it age in her desk drawer. Her words would never see the light of day...or his eyes.

It was silly really, a school girl crush, even though she was older now. Most days she still felt like a child while living at home. She questioned her future almost daily. Would she find the courage to do the things she truly wanted or settle for the sake of ease?

Grad school was so close, but with her mother’s back issues it was time to choose family over her own selfish desires. Her mother needed her. School could wait. Her dreams weren’t that important; like clouds in the sky they constantly shifted anyway.

She wasn’t always like this, afraid of her own shadow. The social anxiety drew up in her like a shadow, creeping in a bit at a time. Maggie was overwhelmed so easily that she began to recognize ‘giving in’ as a comforting feeling rather than one of immense dread.

With a house full of sisters, she found herself being the quiet one, blending in, and not wanting the attention. With two strong-willed older sisters coming before her, it was easy to blend. Allie was always stirring up trouble, and Hannah was vying to take over the world or be the center of attention, whichever came first.

When her younger sister Sarah came around, she was the new baby of the family, and it was just as well. Trying to stay out of the way became a way of life. She was the ‘good child’, the one who quietly read and didn’t cause disruptions. She was an easy child that went along with everyone, following a path of least resistance.

Daddy didn’t have much time for her between the farm and taking a second job. Mom had a baby to tend to, and her sisters were busy in their own lives. Maggie found solace and company in the pages of the books she read, getting lost in the fantasies. The words formed pictures in her mind, and she’d wrap in the details, imagining herself in the midst of another adventure as she buried herself in yet another book.

She missed her father. It was hard to believe so much time had passed. She never dreamed he wouldn’t be here. Sure when he got older, but not taken from them so unexpectedly. Mom had gone through terrible depression the first year, but she seemed to climb out of it and found some kind of acceptance. Nobody plans to be a widow.

Maggie finished helping her mother in the kitchen and went back to her room. She had a book she wanted to finish and...

Sarah!

Sarah’s head snapped up. She froze, caught red-handed with the letter in her hands.

How could you?

How could I not? She shrugged. There was no use pretending like it was a mistake at this point.

Maggie walked over and ripped the paper from her sister’s hands. You’re a child, a selfish child.

And what about you, afraid to mail a letter you’ve written?

It’s none of your business.

I don’t know why you don’t just send the stupid thing. It’s obvious you like the guy.

I hate you. Get out!

You sound like you’re in junior high, not like a college graduate. She flipped her nose at Maggie and left the room.

Maggie was mortified. Her words, her carefully chosen words; she felt violated. She’d selected each one with precision, hoping to get her feelings down accurately. Yet she stood feeling naked and vulnerable after her sister’s snooping.

She was right though, as much as she hated to admit it, she was right. She was acting more like a child than a grown woman. What was she afraid of? Maggie laughed. There was plenty to be afraid of: feeling like a fool, rejection, him being horrified that she’d written to him. What if she became the butt of his jokes with his friends – a laughing stock? It wasn’t worth risking.

She’d keep the letter to herself. Better yet, she’d dispose of it. It wouldn’t matter anyway. She’d never send it. About to tear it in pieces, Maggie stopped herself. With a sigh, she folded the letter and pushed it back into her desk drawer. Maybe one day.

It became a habit. Fondling the envelope in her fingers and pretending like today would be the day she’d mail it. Only she never did.

***

Maggie rubbed her eyes. She was still sleepy after spending a good part of the night reading. She got lost in a story and lost track of time. A yawn, a stretch and she headed to the shower to wake up.

On returning, she dressed and sat at her desk. It was almost tradition to read