Rebirth: A Zombie Tale

By Darren Lamb

Within a year, the number of people living on the planet dropped from over seven billion to less than a million.

Within a year, the technology that once made our lives so easy, became just useless plastic and silicon.

Within a year, ethics and religion became antiquated and obsolete.

Within a year, for one man, the impossible became the only reasonable option.
After the world fell, and the walking dead outnumbered the living by a hundred to one, a Buddhist student travels the world looking for the reincarnation of his late teacher.

Surrounded by an ocean of teeth,

Pursued by something far more frightening than the undead,

The greatest threat he might face, is the loss of faith, and the abandonment of hope.
Om mani padme nom nom nom

• Language: English
• Publisher: Darren Lamb
• Release date: Oct 17, 2015
• ISBN: 9781502758224

Darren Lamb

Darren Lamb is a former Marine and a Veteran of the first Gulf War. He has BA’s in Philosophy and English Literature from The University of Utah and has studied the martial arts for over thirty years. Darren throws a mean yo-yo and frequently wears a pink astronaut suit. He has taught Zen and meditation throughout the nation and is available for workshops and meditation groups. He lives in Salt Lake City.

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Rebirth: A Zombie Tale

By Darren Lamb

Copyright © 2014 by Darren Lamb

Smashwords Edition

ISBN: 978-1-50275-822-4

CHAPTER ONE

THEN

When the world ended, it took me six months to even notice. Granted, I’m not the most observant guy in on the planet, women would often complain how I never paid attention to them, or at least during the few times when I had women in my life, which wasn’t very often. You see, when you don’t have a soul, it makes it hard to establish a meaningful connection with someone.

But still…the world ended and I didn’t even blink.

~

When I was thirteen, I fell in love, or at least what I thought love to be at that age. Honestly, I’m not even sure love is a real emotional response, but that’s another story. Her name was Kristi Ellis and to me she was the most beautiful thing in the universe. She occupied my every thought and action. I guess you could say I was obsessed with her, but think back to the first person who ever caught your eye, and tell me you weren’t exactly the same.

I first noticed Kristi at a youth event our church was holding for Halloween. I remember that year, something being in the news about poisoned Tylenol bottles, so parents were very leery about letting their kids go trick-or-treating. Looking back on it, I would have to say that was the year Halloween started to change as a holiday. Before then, my friends and I would take our pillowcases, always 2, one to store your candy and a second filled with two or three unopened soda pop cans to fight off the older bullies who would try every damn year to steal your candy after you walked your ass off all night going door to door, but after that year, it seemed like the trick-or-treating was becoming a thing of the past. I mean sure, you still see kids today in their Spongebob and Harry Potter costumes, out doing their thing for an hour or two in the early evening, but it was never the same after the Tylenol scare. Nowadays, people usually have to buy some type of candy they really enjoy because they know they are going to have a giant bowl of it left over at the end of the night. Not in my day, back then, people had to turn off their porch lights or put out signs reading gone to bed to get us to stop banging on their doors after midnight.

That year, the church set up a haunted house/dance party in the gymnasium, and since I was right at the in-between age of child and adult, I was able to go to both the dance and the haunted house. Kristi went to both events too, and sometimes I wonder how different my life, not to mention my afterlife, might have been if I had just gone trick-or-treating instead.

How I met Kristi happened like this; I went into the gymnasium with my friend, Shane Holt, to see if we could score some candy, and possibly kill some time before the dance started. This would be the first real dance party either of us had been to and we were both trying to act like it was no big thing. However, we had heard rumors there would be slow dancing tonight, and honestly, holding someone close on the dance floor would be the closest thing to intimacy either of us had experienced to date.

I remember being pissed at Shane, because he insisted on wearing these hideous orange Miami Dolphins sneakers. Shane was the biggest Dolphins fan there ever was. I have no idea why, because we were about as far away from Florida as a person could get, and to my knowledge, Shane had never been, nor had family there, or any other reason to show such loyalty to the town, but it never mattered to him. Every year for Christmas, he would get a new Dolphins letterman jacket that was popular for kids back in those days. We would wait for the JCPenny’s Christmas catalog to come out every fall and go right to the sports section to see which jacket he would be getting. Back then, sports teams and heroes seemed to be a little more real than they are today. Maybe it’s just because I was a kid, but I don’t remember there being all the sex scandals, or ridiculous end zone celebrations, present today. People showed a loyalty to teams that was stronger than most marriages. You picked someone, made a commitment to them, and stuck it out no matter how well things were going.

Nowadays, fans are way more fickle and will turn on a dime. I remember when the Red Sox finally won their first series since 1918 back in 2004. People everywhere who had no idea about Fenway Park or the Big Green Monster were suddenly sporting navy caps with the big red B on them. I remember watching a Super Bowl at a friend’s house, one year shortly before the world ended, and once the fourth quarter was winding down and the winner had been all but determined, someone flipped the channel over to QVC and they were already selling hats and t-shirts from the soon to be winning team with Super Bowl Champions printed on it. The game wasn’t even over yet, but you could still order your game winning hat the MVP would be wearing in a few short minutes. This made me think of something that would really be unique; you know QVC and the NFL had to make up hats and T-shirts for both teams, so they would be ready no matter which team won the game. Wouldn’t it be awesome to have a collection of all the ones they had to throw away because that team didn’t win? It would be like Truman holding up the newspaper claiming Dewey had won the election.

Shane Holt was to the Miami Dolphins as Daniel Ruettiger was to Norte Dame. I don’t think there was ever an outfit he put on which didn’t have turquoise and orange somewhere on it. That Halloween, Shane was all ready for the night in a terrific looking Grim Reaper costume. He had taken a hockey stick, and taped a cardboard axe he wrapped in tin foil, that looked pretty menacing, at least until you looked at his feet and saw the bright, orange shoes sticking out from beneath his black robes. I couldn’t really give him too much crap, though. I was dressed as Batman, but had to wear my glasses over my mask to see. This was way before Batman was ever thought of as cool. This was the Adam West era, when people at the dance would keep asking me to do the Battusi. Looking back, it probably wasn’t the best costume choice to try to impress the ladies. I think I was hoping to ride on the coat tails of Shane’s bitching looking costume. Maybe that’s why I was so pissed off about the orange shoes. I don’t know.

Once inside the haunted house, there were all kinds of velvet ropes and particle-board walls to guide us through all the scary sites prepared for us. Kristi was a few yards ahead of me, but I didn’t know it yet. There were peeled grapes floating in Jell-O water, we were told were eyeballs, bowls of cold noodles that were supposed to be intestines. Most of it was pretty lame stuff, and we quickly became bored with it. I thought the quicker we got to the end of this maze, the quicker we could get some candy and head to the dance.

I decided to start moving a little faster than the others, not really stopping to see the pickled pig’s feet and other butcher scraps in various jars and bowls. The maze led us to a narrow hall where velvet curtains ran along the sides. As people would walk through the narrow passageway, various hands would reach out through the curtains and try to grab you. Some of the hands were covered in dark gloves so they couldn’t be seen. This was where I first saw Kristi. I wish I could tell you I had some epiphany that my life was about to be forever altered, or she moved in slow motion and her hair was blown by some unseen wind, or any other crap like that, but if it did, I never noticed it.

Kristi was a year or so younger than me, and at that age a year can mean a big difference. There she was, clutching her hands to her chest, not wanting to walk through the narrow hallway. People were starting to back up a little bit behind us, but I could see she was genuinely afraid, so I didn’t try to rush her. She was facing the dilemma of choosing to go on or to turn around and walk back the way we came, facing everyone, and having them know the only reason you’re coming back this way is because you were too afraid to go on. I had a similar experience, like this last summer when I decided I was brave enough to jump off the high dive at our local pool. The diving board didn’t look so high from the ground, but standing on the edge of it and seeing those twelve or fifteen feet of nothingness between you and the water…well, I couldn’t do it. I had to walk back down that ladder with everyone giving me shit, calling me a coward, and flicking me with their towels and what not. I didn’t want her to go through that, even if she was a stranger.

I walked up beside her, both of us just staring down the hall of hands, when I chortled a little bit and said I couldn’t believe how stupid this whole thing was. I tried to sound brave, but truth be told, the hands reaching out and touching you from some unseen place behind the curtains were a little frightening. I looked down at Kristi, although I didn’t know her name at the time, and she still held both hands to her chest the way a child might hold a large book they were afraid they might drop.

I don’t want to go through there, she said, in the quietest voice I’ve ever heard.

Some other kids were starting to congest behind us, so I scooted against one of the particleboard walls to let them go through. Kristi noticed I wasn’t moving on either, and I couldn’t tell if that made her feel better or worse. I knew I was supposed to do something here, but my adolescent mind had no idea what it might be. Holt took a look at me, shook his head, and then pushed on down the hall.

Do you want to walk through with me? I asked, in a voice even quieter than hers had been. She thought about this for a while and then decided the twenty feet of hands might be better than the walk of shame all the way back to the beginning of this maze we now found ourselves in. Then the solution hit me.

Wait! I’ve got an idea, I said, and I untied the silk Batman cape from around my neck and draped it over her head. I stood in front of her and placed both of my hands behind my back, taking hold of hers. I could feel her place her head right behind my shoulder blades.

Is this ok? I asked, and I could feel the silken covered head move up and down along my back. I started to move slowly down the hall and she squeezed my hands so tight I was actually thankful for the stupid Batman gloves I was wearing. I tried to see where the hands were coming from and steer us away from them, but some were just impossible to see. Fortunately, it became obvious the owners of the hands couldn’t see us either, and were just randomly grasping at the various sounds. I ran face first into one of the hands I couldn’t see and it managed to knock my glasses off my face. I could feel them dangling by one ear and I was really afraid they were going to fall off, but I knew if I let go of Kristi’s hands, I would be breaking a covenant that was more important than I could understand at the time. There was also the spotlight realization in my life that this was the first time I had actually held hands with a girl.

One random hand found an edge of the Batman cape and began to pull. Kristi let out a scream muffled so far into my back she could probably taste my heart. I spun to kick at the hand, and the little amount of centrifugal force was all if took for my glasses to go sailing from my head. I could barely see the end of the hallway and decided it would be best to just push through to the end and hope no one would step on my glasses before I could get back to find them.

Please, God, make them stop touching me, Kristi said. Reflecting back, it was the first time I had ever heard someone genuinely pray before. I mean, sure, I had heard people pray in church all the time, and my family said a prayer every night at the dinner table. However, those prayers always had a level of dissociation to them in my mind. We were supposed to pray for people other than ourselves, to a God we weren’t sure was listening anyway. Her prayer made me think maybe people could have an actual connection to God. Later on, I would expand upon this belief and discover if people could have a true connection to God, maybe they could have a connection with the other team as well.

I can’t honestly say all these things ran through my mind that night. However, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about my experience with Kristi and sometimes hindsight can provide a little bit of clarity.

I slid our hands from my kidneys, around to the front of my body, and Kristi either hugged me or tried to kill me by Heimlich maneuver. Her legs quickly came in step with mine and I seriously think if I had been wearing the Batman Cape while we walked this way, no one would have even noticed Kristi was with me.

Plus, I really liked the hug.

When we finally came out through the other end of the hall, I patted her hand to let her know we had made it, but it took her a few heavenly seconds to actually let go of me. I pulled the cape off her head, but before I could take it back, she tied it around her neck and seemed quite comfortable leaving me as a Batman without a cape.

There was a hand at my shoulder and a kid from our school named Johnny Casein, who was one of the many people who I knew barely as a student from my school but didn’t know personally, handed me my unbroken glasses.

Oh, God, thank you! I said, mentally moving Johnny into a much cooler category inside my mind.

No problem. Is she ok? he asked, flicking his head toward Kristi.

I think so, she was just cold so I decided to let her wear my cape, I said, having no idea why. Kristi gave me a smile and I think it was right then, seeing her wearing my navy batman cape over her Princess Leia costume, that I was royally screwed.

The rest of the haunted house wasn’t bad, but we stayed together till the end of it. Shane was at the end, waiting impatiently for me, but once he got a really good look at Kristi, he seemed not to mind so much. I’m not going to try to describe how beautiful she was, or how the earth moved beneath us, or anything. Besides, since I lost my soul, things like that are really difficult to put into words. We’ve all been there, though, so I’m sure you don’t need me to spell it out for you.

I thought you might have gotten lost in there, Shane said.

Nope. I dropped my glasses and she helped me find them, I said, and I could see the gratitude in Kristi’s eyes for not outing her fear. I put my glasses back on, now officially looking like the worst Batman ever once again.

Hey, I know you don’t I? You live over on Capistrano Street, and your backyard kind of looks out over the baseball fields? Shane asked. Shane was something of a little league hero. The kind of kid who seemed to have a natural athleticism about everything he did. He was almost always a captain when we had to choose teams in gym class. He could kick a ball farther, run faster, and bat better than most anyone else in our class. Why he hung out with a gangly, awkward kid like me is something I never really understood. Maybe it’s because I was one of the only kids in the neighborhood who had an Atari. Holt and I would play Space Invaders and Asteroids after school for hours on end. Well, at least until he had to go home for dinner, which didn’t happen often because it seemed like most nights he ate at our place. The weekends were the times we would hang out at Shane’s place, because he lived by this open field we called Red Sands, and we would ride our bikes through that field, making jumps and seeing if we could catch pollywogs in the ponds by the refineries.

I remember this one particular day, we were riding home with our little sandwich bags filled with stagnant water and pollywogs, when we came across four boys from our school torturing a cat. They were all a year or two ahead of us, and it would have taken three of me to make any one of them. Shane saw that cat though, with its hair all matted in duct tape, patches of raw and bleeding skin, with the distinctive aroma and dampness of gasoline. That was all it took for him.

What the fuck are you doing?! he both asked and challenged. Shane didn’t really seem to care for an answer, though, because he threw his bike down and started towards the boys before I could really get a grasp of what was going on. Shane’s little plastic bag lay on the ground, leaking, and my instincts told me to pick the baby frogs up, but then it looked like Shane might be in more trouble than the frogs.

By the time I put my kickstand down and got off my bike, Shane had already punched one of the boys square in the nose and was trying to kick another in the balls. I wish I could say we fought the good fight, but truth be told, we both got our asses handed to us pretty damn badly, more importantly though, we saved the cat. However, no matter how much reflection and meditation I do about or regarding that day, I still, for the life of me, can’t remember if we ever retrieved the bag of pollywogs, but I digress.

That’s me, Kristi Ellis, Kristi said, and shook both our hands.

Your mom runs the snow cone machine at the baseball field, doesn’t she? Shane asked.

That’s her.

Oh yeah, I piped in, she’s the only one who will do half-ies on flavors if you ask her to. She’s a nice lady.

I’m afraid I don’t really know anything about you or your dad, though, Shane said, and I could swear I saw Kristi shudder a little bit at the mention of her father. I saw Johnny Caspian walking out the doors and managed to give him a wave with my glasses to thank him again before he left. Then I remembered the dance.

We are pretty much just killing time here until the dance starts. Are you going? I asked.

Oh, you should. Did you come with friends? Shane asked.

No. I came alone. I just…needed to get out of my house for a while.

Yeah, I know what you mean, I said, not knowing anything about what I was talking about.

So are you with us or against us? Shane asked.

Kristi looked around the room for a little while. I’m not sure if she was looking for other people she knew, or to see if possibly there was someone who could vouch for the two of us. I didn’t know anything about women and girls at the time (still can’t really say I do, for that matter), but I could tell she was going to say ‘no’ and I really didn’t want her to say ‘no’. In fact, her saying ‘yes’ seemed extremely important to me at the moment. I honestly had no idea what I would have done if she had just declined our invitation and walked to the outer periphery of my life. Looking back on it now, though, maybe it would have been better. Although, I really can’t blame Kristi for what happened to me, no matter how badly I might want to. It was my decision, and like most of the decisions that truly screw us up, I made this one all on my own.

Well, if you don’t come, I’m afraid I’m going to need my cape back. I can’t very well keep walking around like this, I said, that made her smile.

I’ll come, but I’m keeping the cape. She did, too.

Going into the dance was a little intimidating, because I really had no idea how these things worked. Originally, I just planned on being the classic wallflower until I could scope things out for a while, but now we were already late and we had Kristi with us, somehow, I didn’t think she would find the wallflower routine very cool.

There was a song by A Flock of Seagulls playing, and for some reason I found it very strange that someone had actually hung a real mirror ball over the center of the basketball court. There were ghosts and witches flying around on wires and Mrs. Williams, one of the Sunday school teachers, was standing by the refreshment table holding a Bible that looked like it might do some serious damage if you were to throw it at somebody.

I loved it instantly. I think about that dance quite often, probably because it was one of the last truly vivid memories I’ve had. I wonder if people who have gone blind often think about the very last thing they saw. No matter how hard I try though, I will never be able to capture the entire sensory overload the dance produced in my mind and in my heart.

Once we were inside the gymnasium, Kristi reached out and actually took a hold of my hand, and not in the hand shaking kind of way, but we’re talking full interlocking fingers here. It was another first in a growing list of firsts for me that night. Part of me kind of froze, because I wasn’t sure exactly sure how tight I should hold on. I didn’t want to squeeze too hard, but I was really afraid that if I held on too loosely, she would think I didn’t care and would let go. I didn’t want her to let go. I really didn’t. There was a burst of pride inside my chest. Not only was I not going to my first dance alone, I was going with a really cute girl who was wearing a significant part of my costume and who happened to be holding my hand.

There was a group of guys hanging out against the wall as we walked in who met my eye. I gave a little head flick trying to look way cooler than I was, but what the hell, I had a girl with me and they didn’t.

That was when I looked over and saw she was holding onto Shane’s hand too.

The music changed over to When Doves Cry.

It’s amazing how quickly someone can go from being your best friend to your mortal nemesis in the blink of an eye. However, I decided I was going to be the bigger man and not let it ruin the night. Besides, Shane really didn’t seem to have even noticed.

Fortunately, there were a whole lot of people there from our church and our neighborhood. Friendly people who were there to have fun and spend time together. My fear of being completely alone quickly vanished. A girl named Tracy, who lived two houses away from me, spotted us, and a moment later she was dragging Shane onto the dance floor, leaving Kristi and me alone.

Do you know many people here? I asked, and immediately thought what a completely stupid question it was. Of course she knew people here. She was from our neighborhood, just like me. Hell, she might even know more people here than I do. I’m not a huge social butterfly. At school, I always preferred to do things on my own, although I was on the chess club and one of the top members after beating Danny Tripton by sacrificing a rook for the win. Kristi was very gracious with my stupidity, though. She just smiled and nodded, but more importantly, she never let go of my hand.

The song ended and True by Spandau Ballet started. I could see Shane and Tracy split apart and I knew if I didn’t do something right there and then, there would be the three of us again, and the vision of Kristi holding Shane’s hand again was just too much to bear.

Do you want to dance? I asked, and Kristi gave me a look I would later think of as bedroom eyes. She walked us to the center of the dance floor and stood so close to me she actually rested her head upon my shoulder. I placed my hand on the small of her back, hoping she wouldn’t notice the tremors in my fingers. Even through my Batman cape I could feel the crest of her buttocks against the edge of my hand.

They really have done a nice job with the decorations, haven’t they? I asked.

Uh-huh.

Thank God slow songs are easy to dance to. I was happy I was able to find the gentle sway and I hadn’t stepped on any feet yet, so I was free to focus on the really important things, like the smell of her hair and the feel of her budding breasts against my chest.

Princess Leia, huh? You must be a big Star Wars fan.

Not really.

I could feel sweat running down my armpits and I really hoped she wasn’t noticing how damp my hands were becoming. It seemed hard to believe I had just met her a little while ago. Although, I guess in some way, she had been in the periphery of my world simply by being in my neighborhood and going to my school. However, there was a certain naturalness and comfort in being with her. Like, if she might catch you passing gas or picking your nose it wouldn’t be the end of the world.

Did you score a lot of candy in the haunted house? I asked, trying to fill one of those awkward moments of silence.

Can you please stop talking? she asked, and then gave my hand the tiniest squeeze and I was happily relieved. Suddenly, Mrs. Williams was there telling us that we had to keep at least a Bible’s width between us at all times and she shoved the gigantic book between us. It was humiliating. I could see the blood rise in Kristi’s cheeks, even in the dim lights of the gym. Kristi noticed the people in the very middle of the dance floor seemed to escape the brunt of Mrs. Williams’ wrath, so she guided us to the very center, and then we took up our original position. This time, though, I dared to pull her even a little closer.

Slow songs seem to last a really long time but end way too quickly. Fortunately, since we had entered the dance somewhat late, the DJ was already on top of the feel of the crowd. Another slow song began, Head Over Heels by Tears for Fears, and when Kristi made no effort to pull away from me, I threw my own personal prayer to God, thanking him for making everything right in the world. My eyes met Shane’s as he danced with some new girl, whose face I couldn’t see. He gave me a head flick and a smile that I returned in kind.

Thank you for what you did for me back there, Kristi said, and I honestly had no idea what she was talking about, but if I had happened to die right then and there, I had a feeling it would be with a smile on my face and no regrets in my heart.

If you could have any super power in the world, what would you pick? She asked, but never once pulled her head from my chest, and now her fingers were tracing little patterns on my back. It’s really easy for people to blow off questions like this and give some generic answer, but questions like this, and more importantly their answers, can tell you an awful lot about a person if you really listen. Being a ginormous geek, I had already asked myself this question thousands of times.

I think I would take Magneto’s powers. You know? From the X-men. This was way before the superhero movie craze, so I wasn’t sure she would even know who the X-men were, let alone their arch nemesis Magneto. He can control metals and stuff.

Really? That’s what you would choose?

It’s actually really cool. It enables him to fly and there is some type of metal in almost everything, so his powers are almost limitless. Why? Who would you choose? I wasn’t really sure if she would answer the question and if she did I thought she would probably pick Wonder Woman or the Bionic Woman, because both of these shows were at the height of their popularity at this time.

I would pick The Flash. No doubt in my mind, she said.

Really? That’s a great choice. I was far too overjoyed she actually knew who one of my favorite comic book heroes was than to think about why she might actually choose the ability to run away at super speed as a power.

By the time the dance ended, I had danced with Kristi a total of three times, two slow and one fast. I even was asked to slow dance with Tracy once, but I think it only happened because Shane was dancing with someone else. It was the best Halloween of my life.

Shane and I decided we would walk Kristi home after the dance, which is one of the benefits of living in a small neighborhood, nothing is too far out of the way. Kristi kept telling us she was fine and that we didn’t have to take her all the way home, in fact, she would give us the same speech about every block closer we came to her house. Shane and I insisted though.

When we turned the corner of Capistrano Street, Kristi literally stopped us by placing her palms on our chests and digging her feet in.

This is as far as you go boys, she said. We were about to protest, but Capistrano Street only runs for about a hundred yards or less before ending in a field. I figured Shane and I could just stand here and watch her until she went into her home.

It’s important to point out that right off the bat there was something about Kristi that made me want to protect her. She wasn’t weak or fragile or anything, quite the contrary, but there was a sadness lingering just beneath the surface that broke my heart wide open. I wanted to do everything I could to take care of her and bring happiness to her world. I would have given anything for her, in fact…I did.

Kristi walked towards a home where a woman was sitting out on the front steps. She stood as Kristi got closer to the house. The woman, whom I’m guessing was her mom, called to someone in the house, and then there was a quite large man with her on the porch. Kristi’s steps faltered the tiniest bit when she saw the man. It was small falter, but I definitely noticed it.

The man (Dad?) was off the steps in an instant when he saw her. It looked as if they had no idea where Kristi had been, which seemed strange to me, because if your kid dresses up in a Princess Leia costume and heads out on Halloween night, I would think it’s pretty damn obvious where she’s going.

The man placed one of his big hands on the nape of Kristi’s neck and I saw her wince beneath the pressure. He said something to her I couldn’t quite hear, but I could clearly hear Kristi when she said; I’m sorry, Dad, it wasn’t Mom’s fault.

As the three of them walked into the house, in one last act of hostility, Kristi’s dad pulled my Batman cape off of her shoulders and threw it to the ground, which must have hurt her, because I tied that thing in a double knot, so I knew it didn’t come untied. He had to have broken the tie strings across her neck.

The cape looked like a black trash bag crumpled on the white snow.

God. That was a nice family moment, Shane said, and we decided to head home.

Once I got to my home though, I couldn’t shake what I had seen. It had been such a contrast from the time we spent at the dance that it seemed surreal. I decided to go for a walk, which was something I never do, and before I knew it I was back in front of Kristi’s home. It was late, and the trick-or-treaters had long since gone to bed. I picked the Batman cape out of the snow and put it on. I had taken off the costume and had on my regular cloths, but I could swear that I could still smell Kristi on the navy silk. The cape was cold when I wrapped it around my neck. I couldn’t tie it because the strings had been broken, as I had thought. The windows of the house were dark and I wondered which one might lead to Kristi’s room.

Standing there, alone, on that cold night, I promised Kristi and myself, I would make her situation better, even if I didn’t know exactly what that meant.

The next morning was extremely cold for the first day of November and I made a point of finding Kristi that day at school. I wanted to see she was ok and…I just wanted to see her. I found her at her locker after my American History class. Our school lockers were split with one on the top and the other on the bottom. Kristi had a bottom locker and I almost walked right by her because I couldn’t see her squatting down to get a book. I could see the smallest sliver of skin right above her jeans and I remembered how my hand felt so natural there last night. When she finally saw me, I was overjoyed to see a slight smile on her lips. A lot of men nowadays talk about being an ass or leg man, but I’ve always been a smile man, and Kristi’s has always held the top position in my mind.

I’m so glad you found me today. I wanted to thank you for everything last night. I really had a good time, she said.

I just wanted to tell you, I went back and got my Batman cape. You know, in case you were looking for it this morning or anything like that. Why I said it, I don’t know. I had all these really great things in my mind I wanted to say and the first thing I blab out is about that stupid Batman cape.

Oh. I’m…glad, she said, standing up and closing her locker door with a bump from her hip. As she began to walk down the hall, I knew I had to pull my head out of my ass pretty quick, because we only had ten minutes in between our classes. My emotions were all over the place. I was incredibly pissed last night when I saw her father’s hand on her neck like that. I’m not a violent person at all, but I swear thoughts of hurting him came to my mind on my walk home last night.

Hey, I don’t know exactly how to ask this, but are you ok? Your Dad looked really upset last night when we left you. She looked away from me, but not before I see her lips purse and turn down the slightest bit.

I mean, it’s none of my business, and we don’t even know each other, but I was worried, just the same. That looked like it really hurt when he took my cape off of you. She clutched her book to her chest, just like she did last night in the hallway of hands. It’s like she’s trying to hide, or shield, herself from some unseen onslaught.

I’ve always been somewhat awkward when it comes to trying to connect with people, but when you’re that age you’re just barely figuring out who you are in this world, and how to deal with uncomfortable situations, is like walking a minefield for most teens. I knew I had said the wrong thing. I could just tell by looking at her, so I did what came completely natural to me…I made it worse.

Ok, I’m just going to go for it here. I like you. I know that’s a crazy thing to say after only knowing you one night, but it’s true. I would like to see more of you, and I think you just might feel the same way, but…

Do you ever stop talking? She asks me, but a little bit of the smile is back, so it’s all ok.

I asked if I could carry her books and I swear she pulled them even tighter to her chest. I bet I could read the titles through her spinal column.

That’s when I saw her arms.

One of the sleeves on her sweatshirt had slipped, ever so slightly, but the bruising underneath the sleeve was unmistakable. I asked her to show me, and she reluctantly did. On her left forearm was an almost perfect handprint. The bruising was so bad, it almost looked black. Lingering, beneath the handprint, were other bruises in various stages of colors. In the crook of her elbow, where the doctors take blood from you, was something that looked like a cigarette burn.

It took me a good count to five to understand what I was seeing. Sure, I’d heard about abusive parents, I’d seen the after school specials, but this was different. These were people I actually knew, this was my little neighborhood. Things like this just didn’t happen here. My first thought, was that we had to go see the principal, because, obviously, Kristi had never thought to do that for herself. I was so lost and overwhelmed by the sight of it.

It’s really not that big of deal, Kristi said, bringing me back to the moment, and the saddest part was, she absolutely meant it. In her world, this kind of thing happened so often it was normal. I was angrier than I had ever been, and I’m quite sure that if there had been a single gamma ray within three miles of me, I would have turned green at that moment. When we got to her class, she thanked me for caring, and asked me to let it go. I lied and told her I would. I promised her I wouldn’t tell anybody about it.

I was completely useless for the rest of the day. In math, I couldn’t pay attention and never even got the homework assignment for that night, let alone the instructions on how to complete it. All I could do was look around at the other kids in my classrooms and wonder what things I would never know, or understand, about them that had always been there right in front of my face, but I was way too self-absorbed to ever notice.

I hated myself and I hated my impotence to fix this.

Walking home, I thought about telling Shane what was going on, but then remembered my promise to Kristi. But then, I also began to wonder about Shane.

Hey, can I talk to you about something? I mean, really, talk to you about something? I asked.

Oh, God, you’re not going to ask me to show you on a teddy bear all the places we’re not supposed to let other people touch us, are you?

The fake, orange leather of his Dolphins letter jacket was starting to crack at the elbows.

If something was going on with you…I mean, something bad, you would tell me about it, right? I asked, staring straight ahead, because if I made eye contact with him, it would just be too much to