Sidekicks - Special Edition

By Guy Anthony De Marco, Holly Roberds, Benjamin Jacobson and 13 more

This unique special edition includes a bonus story not available in any other edition.

Sidekicks are used to being hidden from the spotlight shining on the hero they support. They work behind the scenes, doing their best to support their more famous companion.

There are times when the sidekick becomes the hero, when they have to step up and save not only their hero, but sometimes the entire world. This anthology is about sidekicks who humbly take those chances. Not just the usual sidekicks normally associated with Superheros -- any kind of sidekick qualifies.

This anthology evolved from a panel at MileHiCon in Denver, Colorado, titled "So You Want To Be in an Anthology?" The stories contained within were contributed by attendees of that panel. All net proceeds are donated to support MileHiCon. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Villainous Press
• Release date: Oct 23, 2015
• ISBN: 9781622252541

Book preview

Foreword

Sam Knight

At MileHiCon 46 (in Denver, 2014), a group of convention attendees crowded into a little room to hear Quincy J. Allen (RuneWright Publishing, WordFire Press), Dana Bell (WolfSinger Publications), and Sam Knight (Villainous Press, WordFire Press, Knight Writing Press) speak on a panel titled So You Want To Be In An Anthology? Those present were treated to insider information on what an editor looks at, good and bad, when going through piles of stories, as well as insights into the difficulties of publishing and why certain kinds of decisions are made.

Then the attendees were invited to write and submit a story to Villainous Press. The anthology would be a real anthology, with a real editor who would reject your story if it wasn’t up to par. Stories had to be formatted the correct way, submitted the correct way, and well written; everything was to be done in a professional manner, with two exceptions. Only the people who squeezed into that little room would be considered for the publication, and it was to be a charity anthology.

Villainous Press, Guy Anthony De Marco (Silver Hammer Award winner, Bram Stoker Award Finalist), and Sam Knight would be providing editing, formatting, and publishing. The attendees would provide the stories. No one would receive payment for their efforts except for a print copy of the anthology.

Proceeds would to go to MileHiCon, which has always been a big supporter of local authors, artists, cosplayers, and fandom in general. (At 46 years and running, it must be doing something right!)

A vote was taken, and the topic of the anthology chosen was Sidekicks. Not just superhero sidekicks— any kind of sidekick. And that is what you will find inside these pages. Stories of sidekicks. Some are what you would expect, and others will make you think about what a sidekick really is, or isn’t.

Many of the authors included in this book are being published for the first time. As an editor, I wish to congratulate them on the work they put into their stories, both before and after they submitted them. They did me, and themselves, proud.

Thank you for supporting MileHiCon.

A Matter of Measure

Holly Roberds

This crap would not be happening if I graduated from University of Heroes. I mean sure, Heroes got conked out and taken captive every now and then too, but they were privileged with the higher education to escape all by their damn selves. As I fully came to, I smacked my mouth open and closed. Whatever knock-out drug I had slurped up with my morning coffee left a disgusting acidic aftertaste.

Blinking hard against the headache, I was grateful the room coming into focus wasn’t brightly lit.

Breathe in and out girl, don’t lose your cool. Sidekick University, SKU, didn’t really teach us to keep calm under pressure. They only taught us that we should be able to support our Hero when needed. Turns out the job entailed a lot of standing behind them and fist pumping in agreement.

My legs were numb. I didn’t know how long I’d been tied up in a standing position. Pressing my shoulders back, I found myself strapped to some kind of wide column. An attempted deep breath was cut short by the ropes around me. A stab of panic shot through me. Could my A-cups be smushed back into non-existence?

A groan of pain came from behind me.

Hello? I asked. Oh god, I hope it’s a friendly. I wasn’t qualified to handle this.

At least I could tell it was daylight. The warm glow of sun filtered in the room from a small window somewhere behind me. Floral, puce wallpaper peeled down the walls in soggy strips.

Little Storm, is that you? a familiar husky voice replied.

Sapphire? I said.

There was a snort. I could almost see her pouty lips and cat-like eyes fill with disdain. Yeah, figures I’d get tied up with you.

Granted I hadn’t seen her in the five months since graduation and no, we weren’t best friends by a long shot, but I graduated top of our class at SKU same as her.

I faced a closed oak door. The wood was cracked in places and I saw matching structural cracks climbing up from the door frame and into the ceiling. The old fashioned molding and dilapidated state of the large room led me to believe I was in some condemned mansion. Then again, the entire room was outfitted with stainless steel tables covered in knobs, levers, and blinking lights. Most emitted beeps that grated against my tender ears. Monitors were ratcheted to the walls, wrapping around the whole room. Sure screamed evil lair to me.

This is dumb. Sapphire said. Who would hold us hostage? We aren’t even level two Sidekicks yet. You need to be at least a level five for abductions. She paused. Well, I guess it makes sense I would be taken captive. I’m pretty advanced for a sidekick.

Oh hell no. I was not going to stay trapped in a room with Miss Holier than Thou. I struggled against the ropes, hoping there was some give. Some super powers would be nice right about now, but that was the fiction of comic books.

Ow! Sapphire cried out. Cut that out, you’re chafing it against my suit.

If you could even call what she wore a suit. It was a light blue leotard with stylized triangles cut out to show off more flesh than was decent. It was meant to complement her Hero, Diamond Ice’s, matching white one.

We both got internships with a Hero before we even graduated. Granted, my internship placement was based off someone’s idea of a PR gimmick. I mean, who would willingly sidekick under their older sister?

What gives? A groggy male voice with a Spanish accent joined in.

Bird Boy? Sapphire asked in a bored tone.

Yeah, he replied. Ugh, my mouth tastes nasty.

Twisting to the right, I strained my neck and recognized the side of his crooked nose, his shoulder almost touching mine. He was still sporting his bright orange eye mask tied around the back of his head, scrunching down some of his wild black hair. He had let it grow even longer and now it nearly competed with the height of my own curly black fro.

That would be the CompoundB formula, I informed him. At SKU we were required to undergo physical blows and knockout drugs for our studies. At least CompoundB was one of the least offensive on the body. Denonen, another popular knock-out drug with the baddies, had a sticky side effect of anal leakage. Things could be worse right now. So I knew what we were drugged with, but I didn’t know by who or why.

Where are we? I asked, hoping someone had a better clue.

In a gross room that smells like a dirty penny? Bird Boy observed unhelpfully. All I see is wall and a bunch of machines against it.

I have a window. Sapphire relayed the info as if she was obviously better than us and that’s why she had a view. It’s small, open, and the sun is setting. Her tone lost its assured condescension. I can see the city from here. It’s pretty far away.

I sighed. There is a door in front of me. My eyes lifted to the monitors above me. And Looney Tunes.

Said door creaked open, and a guy stepped into the room.

Stan? I said.

I hadn’t seen him since graduation, but he was still all elbows and his hair hung even lower in eyes. What was he doing here? Was he here to save us from our unknown villain?

Untie us, quick, I urged.

He ducked his head, and stalked over to one of the tables, and started to turn knobs and press buttons.

Stan, I repeated.

Stan? Sapphire couldn’t see him. Come on, you heard your girlfriend. Untie us.

His head snapped at us, and through his bangs I caught anger glinting in his eyes. My name isn’t Stan. It’s Tank now.

Sapphire laughed, Okay, last time I saw you, you didn’t resemble a tank and I know it hasn’t been that long.

Well, that wasn’t going to help.

My name is Tank, he gritted his teeth. It is short for Think-Tank because I am so smart.

Thankfully, no one replied with anything offensive this time. His eyes slid back to me and softened. Everyone knew he had a crush on me in school, but my focus has always been on my studies. If I couldn’t qualify to go to UH because of some stupid standardized test, I was definitely going to be the best sidekick this world had ever seen. I didn’t have the time of day to even think about dating. All I fantasized about was raising the bar for sidekicks, so I could make an impact. Then maybe things would be different when I went home.

Only last week my mom puttered about the kitchen popping soufflés into the oven like some 1950s house \wife while I sat at the counter with a mug of hot chocolate, trying not to blow my brains out.

Oh I saw on the news today your sister brought down yet another crime syndicate. I worry about how dangerous it is, but you know how strong she is. I mean after all Helena is The Tsunami Savior. She clutched at her heart. All those people saved in Florida from those swells of the storm...

Yeah we get it. She did a good thing, her first year out of UH. So she was bigger, better, and more Heroic than me.

Wiping her hands on her apron, my mother smiled but it never felt like she ever saw the real me.

You are so lucky to be Helen’s sidekick. I just love that she gets to show her little sister the ropes. I bet you have learned so much from her.

Tied against this column, my teeth clicked against each other at the thought that big sis was probably on her way to tracking me down. Or attempting to if she wasn’t stuck on the couch in her studio apartment glued to the latest Lifetime reality series.

The truth was that whole tsunami thing was the right place, right time scenario. She was on vacation partying like a sorority girl trying to earn alcohol poisoning like it was a Girl Scout badge. Her gin and tonics were interrupted by a natural disaster and she was somehow able to direct people to the Home Depot where they holed up for two days. What had she done since then? Nada. Until I graduated, anyway.

Who did her paperwork and research? Me. Who did the dangerous recon to find said crime syndicate? Not her. She had to stay home and paint her nails deep purple so they matched her outfit. I was the one who snuck around warehouses guarded by heavily armed goons. But the standard sidekick intern disclosure agreement, SSIDA, requires that I keep 75% of my duties unknown. Something about how it made me a more valuable asset if no one knew all the angles of my role.

Tank, I said. We need your help to get out.

I can’t do that. He looked at me as though he pitied me and I became increasingly uneasy.

Why not?

Who are you working for anyways? Bird Boy chimed in. I thought I heard you couldn’t get an internship with a Hero after university. Something about insubordination issues? He was never one to beat around the bush.

Stan glanced me, a guilty look replacing the pity.

I didn’t get one with a Hero, he stuttered. His voice got real quiet. But I have bills too.

It didn’t take long to do the math but I didn’t want to believe it. Evil lair, Stan standing by doing nothing. This was not good.

I tracked him with my eyes as if they were laser beams. Who are you working for, Stan?

His eyes darted back and forth from the door. I didn’t remember him being this shifty eyed.

Professor Flesh.

Our outraged cries echoed each other.

What?

You have got to be kidding, man.

You turd.

Okay, this was serious. Professor Flesh was a nemesis fit only for ten year alumni from UH, not three little nothing sidekicks. The stuff that guy did was beyond sick and twisted.

Hey! Stan yelled at us. I. Have. Bills. Too.

Your Hero will save you.

Professor Titan’s words returned to me. I once asked if we could focus on tactics that would actually help us escape captivity in our course, Sidekicks: Hostage or Martyr? He refused to give any real information. Instead he repeated the manifesto that it was our Heroes’ jobs to save us. If we couldn’t be saved we would become martyrs. The glorious tragic unsaved spirit the Hero would fight on for.

My sister had the education that would allow her to save us. But for all that she graduated UH, she was never much of a studier. School only served as a place for her to socialize. So if she didn’t come for me, I would be genetically mutated into a hunch-backed, snarling, clawed dog-girl. I saw the footage of the experiments Professor Flesh let loose on the city before. They still haunted my dreams. I looked wildly about the room looking for anything that could help us escape.

Your Hero will save you.

Stan, Sapphire said sternly. You have to help us. You can’t do this to us.

Tank pursed his lips. It’s Tank. And yes I can. He flipped a switch and all the monitors tuned to cameras around the room pointed at the three of us. I could see Bird Boy and Sapphire’s face as clearly as my own.

Tank slammed the door behind him.

Okay, this has been fun, Bird boy said, but I would like to go now.

Oh yeah, Sapphire’s wide blue eyes, caked in makeup, squinted in derision as she spoke, because I have nothing better to do either.

I was still searching for some glimmer of an idea of how to get out. Shut up, Sapphire. He’s right, we have to get out of here.

Sapphire looked straight into the camera pointing at her so it was like she was looking at me. We can’t. All we can do is signal. You know that. We weren’t trained to do anything else. This is a great set up for our heroes to make a magnificent save. There was a flatness in her voice that belied her dutiful instruction.

Sapphire, Bird Boy’s voice raised an octave. It rose when he was about to be offensive. You are kind of a dumb chica. Little Storm is right, we need to get out of here.

I cringed at hearing my sidekick name. Helena had picked it.

Do you know how to get out of here? Sapphire challenged. We both stayed quiet.

Well... I was beyond frustrated and more than a little scared. Let’s send a signal. SKU advised to set up a distress code within the first year of our internship. Helena and I hadn’t gotten around to it.

Sapphire, obviously you are hot to use your signal, I was just a little jealous that she was working with someone who actually had a plan. So why don’t you take a stab at it.

Silence.

We haven’t exactly agreed on one, she confessed.

Crap. It wasn’t hard to read between the lines. Sapphire no doubt had her own ideas about what signal they should use and instead of working with her Hero and being accommodating, she probably sniped and whined to try and get her way.

I started in on her. You are such a hypocritical princess—

Did you say there is a window in front of you? Bird Boy cut me off before I could really get on a roll. Can you see any birds?

She concentrated on the window in front of her. Yeah, I think so.

Good. Bird Boy put his lips together and tweeted out a melodic tune. A bird from the windowsill instantly sang it back, then three more echoed its song.

Whoa. I was impressed.

Bird Boy gave a smug little smile. It should get back to Night Hawk and he will know to come for us. The birds can lead him.

Damn. The envy in Sapphire’s voice was a rarity.

Night Hawk really has it together. I couldn’t help but comment as well. It was pretty cool.

Bird Boy’s shoulders shrugged restlessly, agitated by my comment. He wasn’t the one who set it up you know. I had a third of the city’s birds captured and trained to use this signal. It is passed down their off-spring and taught to other birds for the most part.

We aren’t supposed to talk about that stuff, I said quietly. The ingenuity was great, but Bird Boy knew we weren’t supposed to reveal huge aspects of our aid because of the NDA. I watched his face scrunch up in frustration in the monitor.

Screw that, he snapped. I am so sick of being Night Hawk’s whipping boy.

He whips you? Sapphire raised a sculpted eyebrow.

Shut up, Sapphire, he barked back. You don’t know what it’s like to be repressed. You are a like a little submissive robot to Diamond and you know it.

She gave the ropes a twist and both Bird Boy and I gasped out as the ropes rubbed hard and hot against my navy blue leather suit.

I don’t know what it’s like? Sapphire screeched. Are you serious? Do you know that she has me do her laundry? That I have to hand-wash her delicate little thongs? That if I don’t get her triple shot, non-fat, twenty-two ounce cappuccinos with the exact amount of raw sugar granules on top, she sends me right back to get another? I’m not working for a Hero, I’m working for a trust fund baby who has her daddy’s security team take care of most of her missions.

I tried to suppress the laugh that threatened to break free in peals. I could not imagine Sapphire washing someone else’s panties.

Sapphire became all teeth as she usually did when she was about to get mean. That’s why I have been going out on my own at night. Executing my own missions, without her highness.

Sapphire! I said. You can’t be out there on your own. Not only are you not certified, you could get innocents hurt. Deep down, a part of me yelled that I was a liar. I was instantly envious of her clandestine missions. The words out of my mouth were SKU’s, not mine.

Oh shut it, Sapphire rolled her eyes. We all know you would upstage your sister in a second if you could.

It’s true, Bird Boy added.

It is not, I protested loudly. I bet she is on her way to save us right now and I couldn’t be happier. After she did her makeup, of course.

The door swung open and Professor Flesh hobbled in, Stan trailing behind with a camera in hand. Half the monitors switched to a picture of our three Heroes awkwardly huddled around their own camera.

Diamond Ice, not a bleached blonde hair out of place, Night Hawk, with his purple hawk shaped face mask and last but not least my sister, The Tsunami Savior. Dear God, she put seaweed in her hair again. Thank god she had a mask on. I don’t think I could handle if this was syndicated and someone figured out my sister accessorized with sea trash like an idiot.

Professor Flesh! I accused loudly (for Sapphire’s benefit since she couldn’t see him enter the room). I also laid on the anger to try and mask my fear. At the sight of him my heart beat wildly against my chest like a rabbit’s.

In the flesh. His wrinkled face split into a maniacal grin. The other two didn’t have an up close vantage of him. The skin around his face drooped and sagged except around the long scars that crisscrossed along his face from where he had performed experimental surgeries on himself. His eyes were like massive marbles bulging out from shrunken sockets. The distinct odor of cheese accompanied him. Gouda, perhaps?

You see Heroes, Professor Flesh emphasized the word with derision, I have your pets right here and if you do not return the Weld-o-Matic 6000 to me, I will reengineer animal DNA into them.

I didn’t want to be a dog girl.

Whenever the city captured his experiments, they put them down. I remembered watching channel 11’s reporter, Krista Steinback, live on the scene a couple months back. Gunshots and inhuman yelps sliced through her nightly delivery of the methodic extermination. Even the seasoned journalist’s shoulders jerked at the inhumane whines.

I got your call Bird Boy, Night Hawk said earnestly.

I looked to the monitor on Bird Boy. His lips tightened in irritation.

What is the Weld-o-Matic 6000? Diamond Ice asked. Her sultry voice was gravelly like Sapphire’s.

Something you Heroes took from me the last time you destroyed my lair. Professor Flesh pointed a knotted finger in accusation as his eyeballs almost popped clear out of his head.

It could make toast for all we knew. Most evil villains had equipment confiscated and locked up by the Justice Coordination Division. Admittedly, our professors had explained the JCD usually didn’t know what they had in their vaults. Sometimes they were the toys of inexpert children, and other times, doomsday machines. Right now I was going to peg Flesh for the doomsday device kind of guy.

You have less than an hour or your pets become mine. He closed his fist in punctuation and Stan cut off the camera. The monitors returned to the cameras on us.

Professor Flesh turned and grinned at me. My heart thudded against my rib cage as the stench of cheese intensified at his approach. Don’t worry Little Storm. I won’t turn you into a beastie.

I jerked back as he started to bark like a rabid dog in my face. Spittle flew off his lips and landed on my face. This close it was hard not to notice his different colored eyes. In fact, they didn’t look like the same set of eyes at all. The foggy blue one seemed fitting with his age but the green one, it had more life to it. As if it were younger.

I bet Stan got eye care in this gig. A flash of annoyance and envy washed over me.

His lips curled up at the corners. In fact, I am going to unite the three of you. I will turn my worst enemies into my best ally.

Um, excuse me? Uh, Professor Flesh? Bird Boy was clearly uncertain how to address our captor. What do you mean worst enemies? We are just intern sidekicks.

Stan stepped forward. Yeah, what did you mean? His eyes immediately averted when Professor Flesh cast a glance over his shoulder at Stan. Clearly he was as uncomfortable with the Professor as we were.

Well, chitlins, the Professor stepped heel to toe over to Bird Boy, you three are the highest scoring Heroes on the HET for over the past fifty years.

That couldn’t be right. The Hero Evaluation Test we took landed the three of us at Sidekick University.

No, we are sidekicks, Sapphire corrected him.

I looked up at the monitor as the villain did a jerky side tap dance until he faced Sapphire. He put a finger under her chin. Classic. He truly was the real deal. It didn’t even seem scripted for him. I bet he was top of his class at evil community college or wherever villains went to be trained. He probably had to kill a cat or something to get in.

Then he broke into peals of giggles. As they continued without ceasing, Stan hazarded another look at me. We were both in the dark.

It wouldn’t look very good would it? No it wouldn’t look good at all. If it looked good they would have done it but they are worried about what looks good. He was mumbling almost incoherently.

I watched Stan gather his courage to ask another question. What wouldn’t look good?

On the papers, on the pictures. The Professor’s arms flailed wildly as if he couldn’t fathom why we didn’t understand him yet. The balance! The balance! The PR!

None of us knew what he was going on about. Finally he tap-danced back over to a desk by Stan and picked up a large file folder before shoving it in Stan’s arms. It makes perfect sense. It’s what the people want.

Crazy is as crazy does.  

Stan opened the file folder as the Professor hunched over one of the tables and started twisting knobs and pushing buttons.

Reading out loud, Stan started with the first page. Callista Johnson scored a 2878 on the HET, Jose Hernandez scored a 2792. His eyes widened. Darra Blondell scored a 2980.

I scored a 2980? That was impossible.

What? Sapphire screeched. Those were our scores and we didn’t make it into UH?

Even I scored a 2350, Stan said, clearly disgusted.

Sapphire’s face flushed then completely went red. The highest recorded score was a 2450 and it was by the highest ranked Hero in the nation. Necromentalist. He was everyone’s Hero, even mine. But I ranked a 2980? Significantly higher than him on the HET and still got stuck in the slush pile of Sidekick University? Suddenly, I was angry. Beyond livid.

What the hell? How could they possible place us at SKU? I wanted answers. Now.

Stan thumbed quickly through the papers then paused.

You have got to be joking me, he murmured to himself.

It would not look good, the Professor sang out once again.

What? Bird Boy demanded, as irate as me and Sapphire.

They didn’t let us in because— Stan looked up at us. Because we are too short.

No one spoke for a minute. The only sound was the beeping of nearby machines and the maniac humming tunelessly to himself.

You’re wrong, Sapphire said calmly. There is no way...

Flipping to the next page, Stan read, Extensive studies were done and it was repeatedly proven that the public responds more positively to female Heroes over the height of 5’6 and male Heroes over the height of 5’9. He paused reading silently a moment. In order to assure the public and establish a balance in the Hero world, the Justice Committee agreed to appoint people by height. He flipped to the next page and his expression flattened. "They feared if they always appointed the most powerful