The View From The Fishbowl

By JoAnna Santanen

At twenty three, Caleb is a fun-loving free-spirited bachelor struggling to make ends meet as a young entrepreneur. Caleb is a creative thinker whose passion and personality often finds him surrounded by friends. After suffering a greater devastation than any he previously thought possible, Caleb struggles with the new-found responsibilities that are suddenly thrust upon him in the wake of tragedy. Like an angel sent to guide him, a mysterious and catastrophically beautiful love from his past returns to his life, though Caleb is unsure of her true agenda. Caleb struggles to overcome his feelings as his world quickly unravels while his grief takes hold on him. Caleb finds himself facing off with the malicious man he deems responsible for his strife just as his grip on reality is at its weakest. Will Caleb save himself and his love from harm? Will Caleb be overcome by his own worst enemy his tortured mind?

• Language: English
• Publisher: JoAnna Santanen
• Release date: Oct 11, 2012
• ISBN: 9781301206681

JoAnna Santanen

JoAnna's interest in the creative arts started early in life. She spent much of her childhood reading novels that would whisk her away on magical adventures. By high school, her love of reading had sparked an interest in writing. Her projects evolved from poetry collections to fiction short stories and eventually, to novels. While earning her Bachelor's degree in Business Management, JoAnna wrote her first full-length novel, Restless Mind. The project became a passion that found her bonding with her laptop for days on end. She enjoyed the process so much that she wrote another novel, titled The View From the Fishbowl, not long after. JoAnna is now writing her third book, Under the Maple Tree, which she expects to finish soon. JoAnna delights in the enjoyment others can derive from her work, and would be happiest writing and sharing her stories with the world. JoAnna grew up in the beautiful, Pacific Northwest. When JoAnna was a child, her family settled in Vancouver, Washington, just north of Portland, Oregon. JoAnna still lives in the area with her family and her two dogs. When she's not writing, JoAnna enjoys spending her time with her family and entertaining friends as well as drawing and painting.

Book preview

The View From The Fishbowl

By JoAnna Santanen

Copyright 2012 JoAnna Santanen

Smashwords Edition

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

This novel is dedicated to my love, Michael A. Johnson, in thanks for all his love, support and encouragement.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

About the Author

Other Books By JoAnna Santanen

Restless Mind

Under The Maple Tree

Chapter 1

Caleb Nichols was having a hell of a Saturday night. After slamming several shots of Jäger, smoking a few fat joints with fellow-partygoers and an exciting chance encounter with a barely-legal in the bathroom an hour ago, he was still cruising the party. He was working the crowd, selling bags of his ‘exclusive blend’ and putting together a pocketful of money. He was getting low on product though, so he decided it was time to find Travis.

After weaving through the packed living room and kitchen with no success, Caleb went out back to look for his best friend. Caleb spotted him in a patio chair in the lawn, not surprisingly with a blond bombshell in his lap.

Hey man, Caleb said as he approached.

Sup, dude? Travis responded taking a slug from his beer and nodding to his flavor-of-the-minute that he would call her later as she got up and left.

Getting low. You out? Caleb asked as he sat down in another patio chair.

Just about. Travis reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out a rolled up sandwich bag and handed it to Caleb.

That’s two between us. We sell these and we’re out. I’m gonna call Marcus and see if he can hook us up. You running with me? We’ll come back. I haven’t even tapped this scene yet. I could have these two gone in under a minute in there. These fucking college kids are feenin’ for the shit.

Caleb didn’t wait for Travis to reply as he pulled his cell phone out of the pocket of his black wool pea coat and dialed Marcus. He set up a meeting with his supplier to meet at the parking lot of a convenience store a few minutes’ walk from the party.

We’re in luck. Let’s bounce. Caleb said as he stood up from the patio chair, slid his phone into his jeans pocket and started walking back towards the house.

Caleb sold his last two bags to some guys in the kitchen before making his way to the front door. Travis led the way and the two waded through the sweaty bodies of the thumping party. Travis groped a few girls as he went. Some girls objected and some just smiled when they saw him. Goddamn Travis, girls love that motherfucker. What other asshole can grab asses as a way saying hello? Just Travis. Caleb had never had any problems finding a girl to party with, but he didn’t have them dropping their panties when they saw him either – not like they did for Travis. Caleb had always envied him for that magic.

A few minutes later, Caleb and Travis were walking down the residential street, the sounds of the party becoming more distant as they went. Caleb was still buzzing hard on the alcohol, but he was feeling good as he and his friend walked in and out of the lamppost’s lights along the sidewalk. The night was dark, but not too cold as it was early September and the summer’s edge hadn’t completely disappeared yet.

There’s another party next Friday. I’m gonna go. You coming? Caleb asked Travis.

Hell yeah. These college girls are smokin’ hot. You think any of them know we don’t go to school with them? Travis asked, chuckling a little.

Funny thing about college parties – no one talks about school. Caleb replied, cocking a smirk at his friend. Caleb pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, removed he last one from the pack and lit it with his Bic. He took a long drag, sucking as much air as smoke into his lungs. He pinched the cigarette between his index finger and thumb and pulled it away from his mouth as he blew a huge gray puff into the night air on his exhale.

Saw you go into the bathroom with a little hottie earlier. Score, Buddy. Travis slapped Caleb on the back, showing his approval.

Ah, Crystal. Or…Kristen, maybe? Fuck, I can’t remember. Yeah, her body was tight but she wasn’t as good as Leah.

Leah. Fucking Leah. Caleb still wasn’t over her and it had been two years. She was happy with her boyfriend. Good for her, not so good for Caleb. God, he missed her.

You compare every chick to her, don’t you? Fucking move on, dude. She has. You should too.

Caleb knew that Travis was right, but that didn’t make that shit any easier to swallow. Caleb puffed on the last of his cigarette and paused for a second to flick the butt into the street as the two men neared the convenience store parking lot. Caleb scanned the parking lot, and found Marcus’ car wasn’t there yet.

Travis was ahead of Caleb when they made their way to the store entrance. The windows and doors to the convenience store were covered in bars and beer posters to the point that neither of them could see inside the store.

A loud bell chimed as Travis pulled on the glass door to open it. As the two entered the doorway, Caleb could see over Travis’ shoulder that they had just walked in on a robbery-in-progress.

A short man wearing sunglasses and a dark blue sweatshirt with the hood pulled up was waving a gun and screaming as the clerk, an older, Indian man, was frantically stuffing money from the cash register into a bag. The robber turned to Travis and Caleb, who, despite their bad-ass bravado, were standing motionless in fear in the doorway. The robber grabbed the bag out of the clerk’s hand and dashed for the door, barreling towards Travis and Caleb.

The clerk grabbed for the gun under the counter when the robber turned his back away from him. Travis tried to move backwards, only to find Caleb standing right behind him. Both men tried to maneuver out of the robber’s way, hoping he would just disappear into the streets and that would be the end of it. No heroes here, neither of them were interested in blocking the way of a psycho with a gun.

A loud shot blasted through the small store with such intensity that the windows seemed to rattle. Caleb was sure that the clerk had hit the robber, but to Caleb’s surprise, he ran out the opposite door. It wasn’t until the man had vanished on the other side of the barred glass door that Travis collapsed.

With an arm twisted under his body, Travis was lying face down on the was-once-white linoleum, with a dark puddle of blood pooling out of his chest onto the floor. Horrified, Caleb rolled his friend over onto his back, and screamed at the clerk.

Call 9-1-1! Caleb ordered as he ripped the jacket off his body and pushed it to Travis’ wound, pressing down hard to slow the bleeding. The clerk quickly obeyed the command.

You’re gonna be fine, man. Just stay with me. Caleb said to Travis. Travis’ dark brown eyes were unable to fix on Caleb’s face. They began rolling backward, scaring the hell out of Caleb. He shook his friend. Just hang on, Buddy. You can do it. Just stay awake. Caleb’s voice was cracking as he was choking back tears. Travis’ skin was starting to look pale, and his blood was soaking into Caleb’s thick coat.

The clerk approached, and kneeled on the floor next to Caleb. Travis was moaning a little, maybe from pain, maybe from fear, or both. The sound of his whimpering was quiet though. He just didn’t have the strength to cry out louder. Travis slowly reached one of his hands up and grabbed onto Caleb’s white tee shirt, pulling him closer.

Travis began to speak, but barely a whisper escaped his lips. Take care of…my mom…my sister…please… Travis’ strength was giving out and he struggled to puff out his request.

I will, but you will too. Don’t give in. Keep fighting. The ambulance is on its way. You’re going to be okay, man. Caleb was panicked, terrified that his friend was dying and he couldn’t do anything to save him.

Travis began trembling and soon, his entire body was shaking. He gripped Caleb’s shirt tighter in his fist and lifted his head up, only to put it back on the floor immediately. He struggled to sputter words, as blood was trickling out of his mouth, spraying on Caleb’s shirt with his whisper. Thanks…

Caleb’s thick eyebrows pushed together in his confusion, his green eyes swimming with tears. For what? Thanks for what?

Being…my…brother.

You too, man. Let’s not talk like that. Just keep breathing. Hold on.

I…love…y— Travis’ eyes rolled back into his head and his grasp of Caleb’s shirt released. His face lost its light, like he was the burning wick of a candle in a gust of wind. Travis was gone.

Nooooooooo! Don’t die! You have to live! Caleb cried out and pulled his jacket away from Travis’ wound. The entrance hole was relatively small, but as Caleb tried to perform CPR, the pushing down on the chest cavity caused more blood to ooze out of the bullet wound, trailing down Travis’ blue tee shirt to the floor under his ribs. Caleb continued to frantically push down on Travis’ chest, five times, then pinched Travis’ nose and after tilting Travis’ head upward, gave him two breaths. Caleb continued to restlessly repeat the process despite no results until the ambulance arrived.

A loud chime rang out when the first EMT opened the door. Caleb didn’t look up, or stop what he was doing. He wasn’t letting Travis go. The EMTs swept in, and tapped Caleb’s shoulder to let them take over. Caleb withdrew, his eyes never leaving his friend’s face. He retreated to the counter, leaning his back on the wall, and drawing his legs up into his chest. Holding himself tightly, with his eyes wide, he watched the EMTs work rapidly to resuscitate Travis. Caleb truly prayed to God for the first time in his life, begging for his life-long friend to live.

The clerk was pacing near Caleb, muttering under his breath in a language Caleb didn’t know. Caleb’s stare remained on Travis as the EMTs stopped their efforts.

He’s lost too much blood. Let’s call it. The man said to his partner, a young woman.

The female EMT looked at her watch. One seventeen. She replied, defeat in her voice.

Caleb couldn’t believe they were giving up so quickly. He became outraged and abruptly stood up. You can’t stop! Keep trying! He has to live! Caleb screamed at the EMTs.

We’re sorry, sir. He’s gone. There’s nothing more we can do for him, the woman replied. She reached out for Caleb’s shoulder, but he shrugged her off and went back to his seat on the floor, tucking himself even tighter than he had before. He rested his head down on his kneecaps. Caleb’s guts were in a twist and the weight of Travis’ death felt like a boulder on his chest.

The door chimed sounded again, and this time two police officers entered the store. When Caleb saw them, he jumped to his feet.

Arrest that motherfucker! He just killed my best friend over less than a hundred bucks! Caleb hollered at the police officers, pointing at the clerk with an accusatory finger extended.

Okay, okay. Just calm down. Let’s start at the beginning. The policeman lifted his hands into the air to motion for Caleb to stop. The police officer was a man in his thirties with brown eyes and a goatee. The policeman turned his attention to the clerk. I’m Officer Whitman. Do you work here?

Yes, this is my store. The clerk replied, turning his head down and away from Officer Whitman in shame. A man came and stole my money. I tried to shoot him, but I missed and hit him instead. The clerk pointed to Travis’ lifeless body on the floor.

Caleb stared at his friend. He didn’t even recognize him now. His features looked familiar but somehow, Caleb couldn’t even compare him to the guy he grew up with. His body was missing the soul that made him Travis. He was a thing now, a corpse. Not a person. Caleb was lost in his own mind, and the scene of the room seemed to slow. Caleb couldn’t hear the policemen talk to the EMTs, nor could he hear the clerk explaining what had happened. Caleb could only hear his own heart beating in his ears, its rapid thudding seemed disconnected from the slowness of the rest of the room, which was becoming to Caleb, smaller and smaller. Caleb’s heart beat pounded faster and faster, and it seemed like there was no air in the room. He struggled to suck in enough of the thinness to catch his breath. He began puffing in and out quickly and the edges of his vision turned black. He could see less and less of his friend’s face as he began to blackout, sliding down the wall onto his side. He blinked once or twice before he lost consciousness, trying to see his friend, until everything disappeared.

BACK TO TOP

Chapter 2

A cool breeze swept through the warm summer’s night. The trees’ branches were still ripe with leaves overhead as they stood together, arms wrapped around one another, in a park that was bordered by a cliff overlooking Seattle’s city lights. Taking in the sights and sounds of the city in the distance, which was still at this late hour, an overwhelming calm rushed over him. This peace, this serenity, was because of her. Because there was nowhere else he would rather be. The moment together was the budding of a new love’s bloom.

Caleb was mesmerized by her – her long, dark hair that hung in ropes of smooth curls. Her entrancing eyes were the color of the Caribbean Sea, and rimmed with thick, black lashes. Her glowing skin, so soft, shined like fresh snow. Her essence surrounded him, sending chills down his spine. Her luscious scent, like fresh flowers, fluttered into his nostrils when he nuzzled his face into her curls. He wanted to stay here in her sweet embrace forever.

But he would not. The tranquil calm of his moment with her disappeared, and he was snapped back to reality. His eyes shot open, and he saw the faces of the EMTs crouched over him. His gaze shot to Travis’ resting place, and to his horror, his friend was no longer there with him. Only a large pool of blood remained where Travis had passed.

Where is he? Caleb demanded as he sat up from lying on the floor.

Easy there, the male EMT said, placing a hand on Caleb’s shoulder.

What happened? Where’s Travis? Caleb asked, pointing to the floor where his body had been.

The coroner has removed the body, sir. You fainted. How do you feel? Any dizziness? the female EMT asked. She removed a small flashlight from her pocket and shined it in Caleb’s eyes. He winced and looked away from her.

I’m fine. Has anyone called his mother?

Yes, his next of kin has been notified. She’s on her way down here to get you. Officer Whitman said over the EMTs’ shoulder.

Caleb stood up, albeit wobbly. He eased himself back onto the counter for support for a moment. He rubbed his entire face with his palms and took a deep breath. He didn’t want to think of Travis’ mother. Sharon was such a kind, warm woman—the type of woman who could wrap you up in love and fill you with confidence in only a few simple sentences. She was a middle-aged, heavy set woman with shoulder-length blonde curly hair and little makeup. She wasn’t the most attractive woman, but she had a gentle grace about her that made her seem like love personified. Caleb had always wished Sharon had been his foster mother, instead of the bitch he ended up with. Someone like her didn’t deserve to go through this. Then again, Travis didn’t deserve to die. None of this was meant to happen. If only they had stayed at his place, none of this would have happened.

Caleb? Sharon’s voice was shrill as she called out for Caleb when she entered the convenience store. Caleb looked up as Sharon entered the room. He instantly tried to stop her from entering the store with his body, dashing from the counter to the door in a split-second, trying to shield her from the evidence of her son’s passing. His efforts were for not as she paused for a moment when she saw the blood on the floor. She lifted her hand to her gasping mouth, sucking in a huge breath in her terror. A moment later, Sharon wailed out in her grief, grabbing on to Caleb and pressing her face into his chest. Caleb held her as she sobbed, feeling as though he had never, and he would never again, feel anything so horrible in all his life. Holding Travis’ mother, feeling her devastation as she felt it, was, without a doubt, the worst moment of his life. He was overcome and tears streamed down his face. He held on to Sharon, giving but also receiving comfort. He felt like a powerless child, broken and vulnerable. The two of them stayed there for a few minutes, mourning together. It couldn’t be true. He can’t be gone. How will I live without him, my friend, my brother?

****

Caleb drove Sharon home to the house Travis grew up in, which seemed like a prison of memories of his friend. Caleb walked home alone in the early hours of the morning. A shroud of dark still covered the neighborhood. He felt numb and somewhat lethargic as he shuffled through the hilly streets of Seattle to his apartment building nearby.

Caleb walked on, thoughts of his fallen friend encompassing his mind. Travis and Caleb had moved into the same apartment building a few years ago, not far from Sharon’s, so that Travis could stay near his mother, in case she needed him. Travis was a Momma’s boy, having been the man of the house since his father walked out when he was nine. Caleb admired that about Travis. Sure, Travis had his faults, but he loved his mother and sister, and made sure he took good care of them. Caleb decided he would take Travis’ request to look after Sharon and his sister, Tina, very seriously, knowing how much they meant to Travis, it was the least he could do.

The night had grown cold as Caleb walked, and the sting of cold air on his body seemed to be a fitting reality, what with his coat having been destroyed by Travis’ blood. Maybe he would never buy another coat, because the idea of his comfort seemed so selfish, considering Travis wouldn’t ever get to experience anything ever again.

Caleb heard the snap of a small branch somewhere behind him. Not expecting any company at four in the morning, his stomach churned. He turned around, half ready to fight whomever he saw, and to his surprise, he saw nothing. He shrugged, figuring he must have stepped on something himself. He turned back around and proceeded walking home. He quickened his pace a little, wanting to be home already. He wanted the sanctuary of his bed, as he was starting to feel exhausted. Another noise caught his attention behind him, this time a bush rustling. A wild rabbit, maybe? Caleb dismissed it, having decided he was just too tired to deal with it, or anything else, really.

Large trees were spread evenly apart along the edge of the sidewalk, their full branches casting shadows in the bushes that bordered the houses’ front lawns. The lack of light made the neighborhood seem creepy, and sent a chill through him. Caleb tucked his hands into his armpits, and walked faster. The wind around him was from his own momentum, as he widened his stride. Another rustling of branches followed by a louder snap caused Caleb to spin around to investigate. The sound was much closer to him now, and he would rather not be chased by a stray dog this evening. Prepared to kick the animal, he walked closer to where he thought the noise was coming from.

A tall figure appeared from behind a tree, a man. He started coming closer as Caleb stared. Caleb’s eyes widened as he got a better look at him. The man was wearing sunglasses and a dark colored sweatshirt. Instantly terrified, Caleb turned and ran as fast as his legs could carry him away from the man. The man gave chase, and Caleb could hear the pounding of the man’s feet onto the ground as he pursued. Caleb pushed his pace to the maximum, praying that the man wouldn’t try to shoot him. Caleb jumped over a nearby wooden fence and thrashed through a backyard, trying to get away. Caleb heard the scuffle on the fence behind him. The man didn’t miss a beat at the fence, keeping pace with Caleb as he fled. Caleb climbed onto the roof of a dog house, grateful that no dog was in sight. He jumped over another fence and ran through yet another backyard. This one was covered with flowerbeds and garden ornaments. The sound of a small dog barking at the backdoor and the light flipping on the back porch made Caleb run around the other side of the house. He pushed the garbage cans over, trying to slow the man down as he jumped over the short gate to the front lawn of the house.

Caleb was not concerned when he heard the house’s resident holler at him and the man for trespassing on her property. Caleb didn’t look back, he ran as fast as he could across the street and through the bushes of his apartment building’s grounds. He ran to the back entrance, thankful that he had gained a good enough lead on the man to make it in the door and down the hallway to the stairs at the end of the building without seeing the man behind him. Caleb heard the downstairs door open as he ascended up the second flight of stairs. He ran up the stairs faster, tripping up on the second to last step. He fell to his chest, letting out a huge grunt when he hit the ground. He scampered to his feet again quickly and ran down the hall before the man could catch up to him. Caleb ran up to his front door and crammed his hand into the pocket of his jeans for his keys. His heart felt like it was going to explode, slamming in his chest with the force of a horse’s kick. He felt like he had fifteen fingers as he fumbled with his keys to get the right one into his lock. He checked to see if the man was coming every other second as he unlocked the door, swinging his head from looking down the hall to looking at the doorknob. He darted into his house and shut the door, silently, so as not to give away his location. He flipped the deadbolt, hit the slide lock at the top and latched the knob lock in a split-second. Caleb turned around and looked through the peephole.

Caleb saw a tunneled view of the dingy hallway outside, but the man was not there. He wondered if he should stay there, in case the man tried to shoot through the front door. After realizing that the man could shoot through the walls in the hallway, Caleb ran for his bedroom in the back of the apartment. He grabbed the telephone and went into his closet, shoving his clothes to one side to make room. He slid down the wall into a seated position with his knees pressing against his chest. His heart was still pounding as he waited, listening…

Silence. There was no noise coming from anywhere. He didn’t hear anyone’s TV, or the steps of anyone walking in the hall. Did I lose him? Caleb wondered. He stayed for several minutes in his position, with a death grip on the telephone, sitting in his closet. He strained his hearing, desperate to know if the man knew where he lived, but too terrified to leave the safety of his tiny space. He settled in, his breath still heaving in and out from his intense race back to his home. Caleb tried to purposely slow his breathing, taking longer inhales and holding them in for a few seconds before slowly pushing the air from