The Backroad to Cloud 9 (or what Carcinoid Cancer has taught me)

By J. Warren Lunne

The Backroad to Cloud 9 (or what Carcinoid Cancer has taught me) is the author's story of his battle with carcinoid cancer. From repeated misdiagnoses through multiple surgeries to understanding how wonderful his family and friends are, this book discusses many of the realities of carcinoid cancer - which is a subset of neuroendocrine tumors.

Rare and hard to detect, most carcinoid tumors are typically found after a patient has been diagnosed with another malady, such as Crohn's Disease. Approximately 12,000 people in the U.S. are diagnosed with these every year.

Carcinoid tumors are slow-growing and usually begin in the GI tract or in the lungs before moving on to other targets, like the liver. Through it all, J. Warren Lunne maintains a healthy sense of humor and irreverence.

• Language: English
• Publisher: J. Warren Lunne
• Release date: Aug 12, 2015
• ISBN: 9780996690027

J. Warren Lunne

J. Warren Lunne is an award-winning filmmaker. He has been employed as a lifeguard, dishwasher, playback operator, dude ranch chore man, post production supervisor, associate producer, artist-in-residence at an alternative high school, public access manager, and public information officer. He enjoys reading and watching movies. He remains convinced he has the greatest family and friends in the whole entire world.

Book preview

The Backroad to Cloud 9

(or what Carcinoid Cancer has taught me)

Copyright 2015 Joe Warren Lunne

ISBN: 978-0-9966900-2-7

Dedication

To my family: Love

To my friends: Joy

To everyone with carcinoid: Strength

Table of Contents

Acknowledgements

Chapter 1 – Cloud 9

Chapter 2 – Surgery Numero Uno

Chapter 3 – The Nineties!

Chapter 4 – Preparations are not in Order

Chapter 5 – Six of One

Chapter 6 – Finding the Way

Chapter 7 – Here We Go Again

Chapter 8 – Faith, Hope, and a Prayer

Chapter 9 – The Backroad to Cloud 9

Chapter 10 - Poetry

About J. Warren Lunne

Acknowledgements

This text is my story of living with carcinoid

tumors. It is not intended to be used as a medical

reference. Please consult with your physician and/or

oncologist if you have any of these symptoms.

I am not a doctor…just an irreverent dude.

"Keep your friends close and

your toilet paper closer."

- Sun Tzu

(This variation on a Sun Tzu classic

quote is what I imagine the Chinese

strategist would say if he was battling

carcinoid tumors or Crohn’s Disease.)

1 Cloud 9

If I had been looking for Cloud 9, it might have slipped right by me. After surviving two surgeries for carcinoid tumors, a couple misdiagnoses, and the development of a hypersensitive anxiety for lavatory locations, you would think I’d always be on the look out for a higher plain of existence, but Cloud 9 nearly got away.

My sister dispatched me on a knight’s errand: pick up the pizza for her daughter’s birthday party. Short of gifts and the birthday girl herself, pizza was arguably the most important component of the soirée. In my haste to carryout and deliver, I drove past the strip mall that harbored the pizza joint. Hey, all strip malls look the same to me! Horrified that this oversight might delay my niece’s party, I looked for a quick remedy, but the potential adverse effect of the concrete median on my car’s alignment precluded any immediate solution.

Law enforcement officials assure me that concrete medians rank high in efficiency at catching drunk drivers. Some inebriates live out their Evel Knievel fantasies and attempt to ‘jump’ tall medians.

This typically leads to a high-centered vehicle and the drunk driver’s subsequent arrest. I was behind schedule, but I wasn’t feeling adventurous enough to attempt an imitation of the Snake River Jump over a concrete median, even if it was only six inches tall and a couple feet wide. Okay, fine, it was nothing more than a small curb section, but I wasn’t taking any chances! So I drove a few blocks, pulled into a convenience store to turn around, and there it was, alongside the road, in a trash-scattered field: Cloud 9.

If you need proof, look at this book’s cover. Glorious, eh? We are presented with opportunities on this planet, and all too often we neglect to pause and appreciate those rare instances when time stops and we see the world for the wonderful and ironic place it is. Not that day.

I wanted to yell First! but a thought lingered in my brain, surely I wasn’t the first to arrive at this newfound utopia? So I found my way back to the pizza parlor and picked up the pies for the princess’s cake day. After the party was over, I returned and documented my discovery with several photos and videos. Obviously, it was important to prove I had indeed, as they say, been there. No selfies, though. That would have been gratuitous.

Cancer patients, take heart, Cloud 9 exists! And in the little burg of Sierra Vista, Arizona, there are 43,888 souls (per the 2010 census) on the AZ/Mexico border living within driving distance of paradise on Earth. Lucky ducks!

Why do I take joy in absurd moments like this? Because I believe in humor. I also live with carcinoid tumors, which are one subset of neuroendocrine tumors. Typically they are slow-growing tumors, which begin in the digestive tract or lungs and then work their black magic and delve into the liver and/or other important organs.

One of the challenges carcinoid tumors present is that they are