Inside His Heart

By Ahyiana Angel

A man in lust, a man in love, a man out of touch, and the tie that binds them—Scottie Malveaux of the captivating debut novel Preseason Love. A glimpse into the unsettled lives of Scottie’s lovers.

When you look inside a man’s heart you may not find what you expect. Three cities, two self-absorbed suitors, and a passionate romantic all seemingly living worlds apart, yet somehow they are deeply drawn to the same woman. The anticipation of a genuine heart that could unconditionally care for her, kept the leading lady of Preseason Love—Scottie—holding out hope for Ivan, Kari, or Byron to one day be the man of her dreams. But a simultaneous look at their lives, beyond Scottie, uncovers damaged souls hiding behind professional exteriors.

While Scottie was in Preseason Love fighting her internal struggle with lust and love, secrets are revealed as to who may have been facing a similar battle. The ambitious playboy, Ivan, is consistently blinded by his own needs. Meanwhile, Kari’s childhood scars feed his insecurity and overwhelm his heart. The ever competitive professional ball player Byron, never fails to refrain from letting his emotions get the best of him. What are these men willing to do to keep Scottie in their lives? Would she desire their love if she knew the whole story?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ahyiana Angel
• Release date: May 31, 2015
• ISBN: 9781311399083

Ahyiana Angel

Ahyiana Angel is a Cali girl who turned the Manhattan streets into her playground. This sassy storyteller is a former sports entertainment publicist at the National Basketball Association (NBA). Ups and downs with dating, love, sex, and friendships inspired her to create a lane of her own with the popular blog “Life According To Her.” As a freelance writer Angel’s work has been featured on XOJane.com, SingleBlackMale.org, and ClutchMagOnline.com, among others. Angel has a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration and Marketing from California State University, Long Beach.

Book preview

inside

HIS

heart

A NOVELLA BY

Ahyiana Angel

Life According To Her Publishing

Life According To Her Publishing

More information: http://www.ahyianaangel.com

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

© 2015 by Ahyiana Angel

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means whatsoever.

The novella, Inside His Heart, is a companion book to the debut novel by Ahyiana Angel, Preseason Love. Follow the link to read more about Preseason Love.

Link: https://store.kobobooks.com/PreseasonLove

Dream big, live out loud.

Ivan

She left me. It wasn’t the way things were supposed to go down.

Damn it! My voice bounced off the walls of a desolate bedroom.

Sure, I still had a hall-of-fame sneaker wall, a California king with Egyptian cotton, eight hundred thread-count sheets, and a surround-sound system to rival the ArcLight movie theater on Sunset, but my bedroom was empty. There was a void because she was gone. Everything was a blur. Fifteen minutes earlier, I could feel the constant rhythm of her breathing on the base of my neck. We were locked in a lovers’ hold — a hold I desperately wanted to have a lasting impression. A hold she was supposed to cherish. A hold she had begged for years to experience.

I watched her walk out of the door, the back of her curly hair swaying rapidly from side-to-side, her body moving with intention. It didn’t seem real. I wasn’t sure if my feelings were hurt or if my ego was the source of my pain. After her silly The Best Man-style forehead kiss, I couldn’t believe that I still called out to her through a closed door. I stepped out of my normal behavior. It was all because I had to test my power. I made one last attempt to get her to stay with me, but she never came back. She didn’t even glance over her shoulder as she shut the door to my apartment.

My feelings of anger, loss, and desperation were all Scottie’s fault. I was a mess of mixed emotions. She had threatened to leave me and our arrangement over and over again, but she never left. Eventually, her idle threats got old. They were like an episode of a show I hated, on repeat. I could always predict when a rerun was coming. She tried to put a little bass in her voice. She did well at playing the role of the tough girl who wasn’t hard up for a man, but she had her moments of weakness. Scottie was no different from the rest of them. I chuckled inside each time she started her we need to talk monologue. I knew how the conversation would play out. She would rant about the disrespect she felt from my actions. Wanting more would always surface in the dialogue at some point. Without fail, she managed to work in how I undervalued her as a woman every time. Despite all of the talking, her threats and demands were futile.

Scottie never put an end to our arrangement. She never stopped coming around; she couldn’t. Really, why would she end our good thing? We had amazing sex, we knew how to make each other laugh, and we enjoyed quiet days doing the simple things like watching movies or reading the newspaper together. Our arrangement was essentially like we were in a committed relationship. What we developed was good; it worked perfectly.

I could never understand why, even when things were good, women always went back to the I want a commitment drag. They get themselves all worked up, then they go on and on until they tire themselves out talking in circles. While they are doing all of that talking I secretly ask myself, do I seem like the commitment type to them? There wasn’t one single part of my actions that showed Scottie I wanted to be committed to one woman. Commitment, commitment, commitment! Man, the weight of such a word was enough to make my insides churn.

After a morning of turmoil, I had to shake my thoughts of Scottie. I couldn’t let her dominate space in my brain any longer. I drove around, bending corner after corner. All of the windows were down, and the wind was whipping around me from every angle. It had been my method for coping when things became mentally hectic or frustrating. I started using riding around as an escape after I learned to drive in high school. I hated waking up to my mom’s flavor of the week roaming around our apartment like he owned the place. To avoid overreacting, I would just leave.

As I crept at a steady speed through the blocks, the Los Angeles sun warmed up what would otherwise have been a brisk temperature. Neighbors were walking dogs, kids were relaxing in strollers, and middle-aged balding men were speeding past in their latest panty-dropper sports car.

When a man can no longer turn any more corners to keep his mind in a tolerant state, he heads to indulge in the next best thing: a caffeine fix. I lucked out on a parking spot directly in front of my go-to coffee shop. It was a bustling family-owned business called Hot Spot.