The Willful

By Lauren Nicolle Taylor

When a heart is in pieces, can it still be broken?

Quiet, contemplative Esther is in love. It’s an all-encompassing love that sweeps her off her feet but also leaves her dangling with nothing to hold onto. It’s thrilling, unlike anything she’s ever felt before, and she gives her whole heart to this marriage, to this willful, passionate man.
Things change when she becomes a mother. It’s not just the two of them anymore, and as Esther gives a large piece of her heart to her daughter, Rosa, she starts to realize that maybe love shouldn’t be this hard. That she shouldn’t have to give up her whole self to be with him. That now that she’s a mother, she can’t.

Set in the years leading up to The Woodlands, The Willful follows Esther, Rosa’s mother, as she navigates young motherhood, a marriage on the brink, and the hard decisions that come with living in a controlled world with an uncontrollable man.

Do you dare enter the Woodlands? A dystopian page-turner with over 750 five-star ratings on Goodreads. The Woodlands Series is perfect for fans of The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, The Divergent Series by Veronica Roth, and The Jewel Series by Amy Ewing.

The Woodlands is an Award-Winning Finalist in the "Fiction: Young Adult" category of the 2014 USA Best Book Awards, as well as a Semifinalist in The Kindle Book Awards by the Kindle Book Review.
"Lauren Taylor's writing is powerfully descriptive; she is a master of words and similes." - Author Erica Kiefer
"It seems so rare these days to find a dystopian with an original vein in it. The Woodlands Succeeds." - Author Pauline Creeden
"I went into this story with my own ideas, but they were obliterated by what I found instead. I was so happy to be wrong because this story touched my heart deeply in a way that I never expected." Reviewer Amber Douglas McCallister
"This book was fantastic! Spectacular! It had everything I look for in a book: Action, Adventure, and even romance!" Reviewer Jocelyn Sanchez

• Language: English
• Publisher: CTP Publishing
• Release date: Oct 17, 2014
• ISBN: 9781634220491

Lauren Nicolle Taylor

Lauren Nicolle Taylor lives in the lush Adelaide Hills. The daughter of a Malaysian nuclear physicist and an Australian scientist, she was expected to follow a science career path, attending Adelaide University and completing a Health Science degree with Honours in obstetrics and gynaecology.She then worked in health research for a short time before having her first child. Due to their extensive health issues, Lauren spent her twenties as a full-time mother/carer to her three children. When her family life settled down, she turned to writing.She is a 2014 Kindle Book Awards Semi-finalist and a USA Best Book Awards Finalist.

Book preview

The Willful

The Willful

Lauren Nicolle Taylor

Clean Teen Publishing

For the people I love, who’ve put up with my crazy all these years.

Contents

Content Disclosure

Also by Lauren Nicolle Taylor

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Afterword

Also by Lauren Nicolle Taylor

About the Author

Afterword

Nora & Kettle

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Content DisclosureQR code

For more information about our content disclosure, please utilize the QR code above with your smart phone or visit us at www.CleanTeenPublishing.com.

Also by Lauren Nicolle Taylor

The Woodlands Series:

The Woodlands, Book 1

The Wall, Book 2

The Wounded, Book 3

The Wanted, Book 4

The Willful: Novella, Book 5

The Woodlands Series

Paper Stars Novels:

Nora & Kettle, Book 1

Hiro & Kite, Book 2

Breaker & the Sun, Book 3

THIS book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the authors' imagination or are used factiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

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NO part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author's rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

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The Willful

Copyright ©2014 Lauren Nicolle Taylor

All rights reserved.

CTP logo

Cover Design by: Marya Heidel

Typography by: Courtney Knight

Editing by: Cynthia Shepp

Chapter One

I’m the moon, and he is the sun. I’m cool, quiet, and uniformly gray. He is a blast, a flare of fire. I circle around the earth, trying to find him. I never will. We’re not supposed to exist in the same time.

Idon’t know how I came to love him but now that I do, it feels like I’m too late, running behind, throwing my hands at a rope that’s being dragged away.

My eyes follow him as he paces the beige-colored room, his arms jerking out as he talks. His flash of color and energy stands out too much against the peachy, peeling paint, and it worries me. His temper is building and I’m almost sucked into his stress, into his dramatic world so deeply, I forget I’m trying to give birth. To his child.

But then pain comes hard and fast, twisting and turning around my stomach like an ever-tightening cloth. My heels dig into the mattress, and the rickety bed frame shudders. I grip my middle and try to speak, Pelo, please…

He comes to a halt, his eyes searching the window, his expression… fascinating. And fascinated by something other than me. Look, darling, look at that bird. He points listlessly at the glass. His arm drops like a drawbridge, and I can tell he’s sinking into a place I won’t be able to reach. Utterly free. Look at it swaying on the branch. Uh, there it goes, destined to fly over places we will never see. He sighs theatrically, his shoulders slumping.

A nurse bustles in and grabs the sheet that’s been scurrying out of the machine for so long it’s folded over onto the floor. I gaze down at the ripples of paper and wonder what they mean.

Mr. Bianca, you need to leave, she says crossly, folding her arms over her chest and scowling. And you haven’t filled in your paperwork yet.

Pelo pulls away from the window with effort. He turns slowly, as if he can’t bear to look away from the sky, and seems to notice me for the first time. My heart jumps and the monitor scribbles. He focuses on my face, ignoring the aggravated nurse tugging on his sleeve. I blink and smile. Those eyes. So wrong and so beautiful.

He connects with me and says, I’m not going anywhere. Grabbing a chair, he slaps it down angrily by my side. This is a willful exercise. I want to believe it’s because he wants to stay with me. I decide I will believe that for now. I need him.

Pain grips me again, and I search for him. He takes my hand in his, and I release an almighty scream.

The nurse clamps a sweaty palm over my shoulder and whispers tersely in my ear, Control yourself.

I take in sharp, hiccup-like breaths and try not to make any noise, but it’s pressing out of me from all angles. How do I do this quietly?

On the next pain, I shuffle my legs backwards like I can escape it somehow, my bare feet slipping on the sheets. I