Malta: A Pocket Guide For People Thinking About Relocating

By Andrew Gardner

Every year over 1.2 million people from around the world travel to Malta and nearly every one of them is charmed by the islands historic and cultural ambiance. This book however, is not any kind of tourist guide to the Maltese archipelago. Rather, it has been written in mind of the hundreds of people from Britain especially, whom holiday to to Malta every year and become drunk on the idea of year round sunshine and the islands perceived affordability to the extent that they decide to relocate. For what many people whom do relocate often discover, is that life on Malta is far from the idyllic Arcadia which they first supposed. Indeed, for expatriates from around the world, Malta represents discriminatory water and electricity price tariffs, racism, faux piety, and a place where they they will often find themselves cheated by what in many cases seems to be a culturally ingrained corruption.

This book has therefore been written so as to draw attention to Maltese social norms and values, ones which often oppose what many might consider civilised. Further, it will suggest with an honest analysis of Malta's 2015 housing market that the country might not be the best place in the world in which to invest in property. Rather however, than attempt to dissuade anyone from relocating or retiring to the islands, this book will simply outline daily life on the islands on as it really is basis and suggest that maybe one tests out life on Malta for a year or two before deciding to move here permanently.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Andrew Gardner
• Release date: May 22, 2015
• ISBN: 9781310132919

Andrew Gardner

Andrew Gardner worked as a designer and art director for more than a decade before he decided to pursue his passion for illustration and storytelling. He often finds ideas and influence from Japanese culture and art, as he once lived in Osaka, Japan. Now, he lives in London with his girlfriend and her many plants.

Book preview

Copyright

Malta: A Pocket Guide For People Thinking About Relocating. 2014 All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced in any form, in whole or in part, without written permission from the author.

Living The Dream

 Living on the Maltese archipelago is like living in a sun baked, blue bordered, open air museum. In fact, daily life on the islands is often punctuated by an almost tangible sense of living alongside a chaotic clash of centuries constantly at odds with time as each age vies for architectural supremacy against the next.² Imposing neolithic temples keep look out over the islands enclosing azure waters, limestone bored WWII bunkers siesta beneath capital city streets first administered by St John of Jerusalem and almost every compass direction on the dip and swim of the archipelago’s skyline is dominated by the domes and balustrades of 16th century Baroque architecture. 

 All this being the case, a not un-percievable air of medieval and prehistoric mystery permeates everything from catacombs rumoured to stretch right out under the Mediterranean Sea, to Clapham Junction's cart ruts. Meanwhile, as the modernity of the present attempts to impose itself on the islands in the form of fast cars and exhibitionistic yachts moored in Valletta's Grand Harbour, innumerable sea urchins and long since petrified corals poke their way out of the city's wind weathered sandstone parapets as if humble jest at such artificial things evanescence.

 For connoisseur's of excellent food and wine, this eclectic mix of histories coupled with the gastronomic influences of several since disbanded empires accumulates for much of the year in circulatory scents of freshly baked bread, pastizzi and grilled fish and meats, not to mention the aroma of a medley of truly unique Mediterranean and European cuisines. Likewise, the warm and cobalt dark of Maltese and Gozitan summer evenings is often serenaded by the clink of lovers' wine glasses, hearty cheer from the mosquito screened doors of local peoples sea front homes and the rhythmic beat out over the still mild hours toward midnight, of dance music played on request of Italian stylized twenty some-things filled with the all fervour, and temerity of youth.

 Malta in essence, is the epitome of what many in Britain, North America and Australasia consider a civilised kind of paradise. Moreover, with the majority of locals speaking English as a second language and with rents in Malta starting in the region of just €200 a month, Malta's unique ambience does far more than just cast a temporary idyllic spell over the archipelago's 1.2 million annual visitors. Rather, the charm, mystique and perceived affordability of Malta and Gozo often inspire materially achievable dreams of relocating. 

 Young lovers' therefore hold each others hands tightly as they stroll between the stalls of Marsaxlokk's Sunday fish market and by the surreality of the salt pans in Marsalforn, and they whisper as they spy vacancy signs in local bars and restaurants, we could really do this couldn't we? Likewise, middle aged forty to fifty some-things, dissatisfied with the grey and in general down trodden sense of life in the United Kingdom are enticed each year by tales of how easy life is on the islands.

 Meanwhile, while Northern Europe's young and middle aged start sifting through Remax and Frank Salt letting advertisements, long time repeat visitors to the islands whom have just reached retirement age look over wine glasses beneath the shadow's of Gozitan church towers and parasols in Sliema, and they too finally set their minds on making that one last move.

 The better quality of the lives of the people who do make that move is after all, inarguable. The islands humidity and increased sunlight exposure often works as a curative against complaints such as fatigue and arthritis. The jovial disposition of the majority of the islands people and expat communities quickly works as a restorative against the trudge and in general over regulation of life in English cities and market towns; and with a plethora of new tastes, sights, smells and new experiences being right upon ones doorstep, a new kind of positivity quickly permeates many peoples very sense of self and individual identity.

 In fact, as someone who themself made the move just a little over two years ago, there is little to no material disadvantage in relocating successfully to Malta. The April to October sense of summer, coupled with the late May to September warmth and inviting sensuality of the islands surrounding sea waters is by far compensation enough for any of life on the islands inconveniences. Furthermore, the food, wine and by and large pleasantness of the people on the archipelago is a firm bolster against anyone of a more negative predisposition who one might ever be affected by.

 Malta and Gozo are not however, the immaculate paradises which many first consider the islands. In 2014 the Maltese city of Mosta, renowned for its nineteenth century Rotunda, saw for the fourth year in a row an assortment of animals crucified in the dead of night before being hung upside