Spit in Its Eye

By R. J. Will

Spit in Its Eye; The Neehawk Diaries

The final book of Love Through the Ages, a five-book set of contemporary romance novellas by R. J. Will.

Paul Remington is a retired newspaper columnist in a mid-sized Nebraska city. His wife, Ruth, is artistic director of the city's amateur theater. Both are highly regarded, well known and much loved members of the community
.
But Paul and Ruth are not who they pretend to be. They have a "dirty little secret" they have kept hidden from everyone, even their family, for decades. But as they near their 70s, the burden of that secret is becoming too much to bear. So they decide, at the risk of humiliation and shame, to tell all.

As difficult as that is, it is nothing compared with what comes next – an enemy no one has ever beaten. In the face of certain defeat, will their deep love for each other finally waver?

• Language: English
• Publisher: R. J. Will
• Release date: Mar 26, 2015
• ISBN: 9781311374370

R. J. Will

R.J. Will is the pen name for Dave Tishendorf. Dave is a graduate of the University of Missouri School of Journalism. He has been a newspaper reporter, editor and columnist who turned to writing fiction. He now is a freelance writer and a published author of eight romance novellas, including Love Through the Ages, a set of five contemporary love stories. He also has written two stage plays. He is a member of AbsoluteWrite, a critique group for writers.Dave is a compelling new writer of contemporary romance. As one reader of The Virgin Conquest wrote, "Great characters and story line – humor, suspense, drama, tragedy and inspiration all rolled into a book that left me with a sense of satisfaction as well as a deep appreciation for the gift of wisdom that my own 'first love experience' left me with."Dave has been writing fiction since he was 8 years old. His first short story, Listen Carefully Janet, (two pages long) brought his mother to tears. Exactly why she wept has never been made clear. Dave's resume includes a long list of jobs, everything from carpenter's helper to cab driver to greenhouse gofer. And oh, yes, award-winning newspaper reporter and columnist. If you get to know Dave – and we are going to give you the chance to do that – we think you'll like him and his stories – a lot.Dave is married and lives on an acreage in south-central Washington state and, when not writing, enjoys reading, hiking and running his dogs in the sport of agility.

Book preview

Spit in Its Eye

The Neehawk Diaries

Book 5 of Love Through the Ages

Ages: 60s and 70s

Love has no age, no limit, and no death.

– John Galsworthy

Your body withers in time.

Your mind slowly slips away.

There is only one thing that lives on

through the ages. Love.

– R. J. WILL

Published by R. J. Will at Smashwords

Copyright © 2015 by R. J. Will

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook cannot be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please buy an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not buy it, or it was not bought for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and buy your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

About Love Through the Ages

Love Through the Ages is not an ordinary series. Each book in the five-book bundle is a stand-alone. The setting for each book is the same, the fictitious city of Neehawk, Nebraska. But the characters in each book are different, and they are older in each succeeding book – thus love through the ages. The main characters in Vol. 1, The Virgin Conquest, are 18-20 years old. The main characters in Vol. 5 of the bundle are in their 60s and 70s.

But love is the same throughout.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: Ruth and the Menopause

Chapter 2: Paul on Comedy, Seriously

Chapter 3: Ruth on the Saddest of Sad Days

Chapter 4: Paul on THE FINAL SHOT

Chapter 5: Ruth's Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 6: Paul: The Curtain Rises

Chapter 7: Ruth Is Stunned

Chapter 8: Paul on Blackmail and Marriage Tips

Chapter 9: Ruth and the Confessional

Chapter 10: Paul on Coming Out

Chapter 11: Ruth: Grandma Prostitute

Chapter 12: Paul on Ruth's Impairment

Chapter 13: Ruth on Goodbye, Birdie

Chapter 14: Paul on the Last Hurrah

Chapter 15: Paul: The Curtain Falls

About R. J. Will

Other Books by R. J. Will

Chapter 1

Ruth and the Menopause

July 9, 2007

So, we're sitting at the breakfast table this morning, working separate crossword puzzles as usual, and I say to Paul:

I think I have the menopause.

And he kind of snaps his head up, like he does when I say something he thinks is startling, or more likely, stupid.

"You think you have the menopause? he says with that sneer of his. Well, first of all, you don't call it the menopause. It's just menopause."

"My mom called it the menopause, and so did all my aunts. That's good enough for me," I said.

I knew he was right and I was wrong. But I had to uphold the family tradition. Then, of course, he threw a bunch of logic in my face.

"I don't care what your mom and your aunts said. Look, you don't say, I have the cancer, do you?"

"You better hope I don't say that, Paul Remington. Cancer is a lot worse than the menopause. Cancer can be fatal."

He threw his napkin at me, but it landed on my omelet. I picked it up, rather daintily and ladylike, folded it, reached across the table and laid it by his plate.

I could have thrown that back at you, but it probably would have escalated into a food fight. As the only adult in the room, I wanted to avoid that. There, put that in your pipe, Mr. Know-it-all.

Furthermore, he said, ignoring everything I had just uttered about his childish behavior, "you don't have menopause. It's not an illness. You have the flu. You have a headache –"

'You're telling me, buster."

"You don't have menopause. Menopause is a natural occurrence in life. It kind of tears down what puberty built up."

Well, as usually happens, our fake bickering ended with a big laugh for both of us. For good measure I threw my napkin at him. He caught it and wiped his mouth.

Anyway, he said, what makes you think you're going through menopause?

My period is a month overdue. You know me. I'm usually as regular as clockwork.

Never been that late before? Paul asked.

Never. Then it dawned on me. Well, only when I was pregnant with David.

Aaah, he said. He looked at me with one eye closed. Are we going to be hearing the pitter-patter of tiny feet around here again?

Somehow I managed to stifle the shriek that started to work its way through my vocal chords. The word pregnancy hadn't even crossed my mind.

No, no, no, I said. I think I was trying to convince myself, not Paul. I can't be pregnant.

Why not?

Because I'm 63 years old! I fairly shouted.

If you're still bleeding, you're still breeding, Paul said. I just made that up. He gave me a smug look.

I doubt you did. Anyway, I'm not pregnant. Women know these things, I said, hoping he wouldn't call me on it.

I kind of like the idea of fathering a child at age 67, he said. What a stud. Maybe between the both of us we could get in the Guinness World Records.

"I'm not pregnant."

What symptoms do you have, other than the missing period?

None. I feel fine.

So then, what makes you think you're going through menopause?

Well, I checked out the signs of menopause online, and I do have one of them – a change in my period. I know, I know. That also means I could be pregnant.

"Took the words right out of my mouth. So, what are the other signs of menopause? Is denial one of them?" He laughed at his little joke.

"Oh, I don't know if I can remember them all. Hot flashes. A dried-up vagina. Trouble sleeping. Mood swings. Loss of interest in sex, which I don't foresee that ever happening. Might be a couple of others."

And you don't have any of them?

Nope.

So what are you going to do?

I guess I'd better go see Dr. Clarkson.

I guess you'd better.

The whole time Paul and I were having this silly little back and forth, I knew he doesn't want another baby any more than I do.

So when I said I really hoped I was in menopause, he said, I do too.

I knew he would.

One Week Later

The first thing Paul wanted to know when I got home from the doctor's office this morning was what Dr. Clarkson said. I think maybe Paul was just a teensy bit worried I really was pregnant, although he denied it.

And of course I'm not pregnant, although the doctor said it's too early to say with confidence that Mr. Men O. Pause has started, as Paul so eloquently put it, tearing down what young Mr. P. U. Berty worked so hard to build.

So we'll wait and see.

●●●

For those who don't know, a bit of my educational background. As a child I always wanted to be an actress. I never thought it would happen, but then I met Paul. Shortly after we were married he offered to pay my way through college. Four years later I had a degree in drama from Neehawk University. I joined the Neehawk Community Theater and acted in several productions before I discovered directing was really what I wanted to do. Long story short, I'm now artistic director at the theater. Our current production is Inherit the Wind.

Rehearsal went well tonight. We worked on Act One. The townspeople are finally getting the idea they are mostly pleasant but illiterate folks who put their trust in the Bible, even though most of them can't read it. They rely on Reverend Brown to interpret the Good Book for them, and the good Reverend also is getting ahold of his character and what a powerful figure he is in Hillsboro, Tennessee. I love Inherit the Wind. That's why I wanted to do the play again. I think the cast is better than the one we had when we originally did the play 15 years ago. Or at least it will be by opening night, she said. That's three weeks from tonight. Yikes!

I so badly wanted Paul to play the part of Hornbeck, the big city newspaperman from Baltimore who came to cover the Scopes Monkey Trial, which is what Inherit the Wind is all about. I just think it would be so cool to have a real newspaperman (especially one as well known in Neehawk as Paul is) play the part of a newspaperman. But Paul would have none of it. Acting, he said, is not his thing. And besides, he noted, because I am the director there would be the issue of nepotism. Well, I suppose he's right in a way. But Paul has been reading poetry to me since even before we were married, and there is nobody better at it than him. He has such an innate feel for the spoken word. I think he would be one hell of an actor. But