Toxic Man
By Alexie Linn
()
About this ebook
Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.
Soren Kierkegaard
“Toxic? That's very broad, Joan. What made him toxic?” Joan and I were having our book meeting before I went to work on her rough manuscript.
“Oh, my goodness, Alexie! There's so much to choose from with Gary.” I could see Joan's wheels turning to sort her client's maladies. Eventually she spoke.
“What forced his grief journey to contact me was the chemo that killed the cancer. Now he's toxic from the chemo – heavy metal poisoning that they told him they can't do anything about. Or it might have been the loss of his job – he's a research lab chemist.” She rested her chin on her hand while she went down memory lane before she continued.
“Egads, or was it the HIV his partner's incapacitated from? Gary's the sole support and caregiver. Top it all off with Gary being bipolar. Hmm, Alexie, you tell me what made him toxic.”
I shook my head, “That's an overwhelming list, Joan. What could you possibly do for this man?”
“Well, I was able to refer him and to discuss a couple of things before the body was found under the railroad trestle. He'd turned on me a few times before we got through that first meeting – I recognized bipolar at work. After that first meeting we went to phone coaching – safer all around.”
I considered what she'd just shared with me and kind of wanted to know more, “Not to pry, Joan, but you seem quite experienced with bipolar – is this the first time you thought it was worthy of a book?”
Joan looked like I'd caught her with her hand in the cookie jar. “Maybe. Or, maybe how I know so much is too hard for me to talk about.” Joan's foot tapped and her fingers drummed while she pondered how much of her soul she wanted to bare...
She spoke quietly, “Who wants to admit they were dumb enough to believe the belittling and berating lies for so many years? To keep trying to please and prevent the tirades and attacks – without success; to believe he could control himself and never do it again?”
I forced myself to listen intently while she chewed through her memories, deciding whether to let me in to more of her previous life.
“When I hear of a mate – especially a wife – who killed her husband in a bipolar situation, I understand completely. The only difference between me and that person is that I didn't act on the picture in my head. I shut down my emotions so that I felt nothing. I was in neutral or deep sadness – nowhere else.” Joan was quiet for a minute, or so...lost in sad memories. I was beginning to wish I could erase my intrusive question.
Then, suddenly, she looked right at me with a smile on her face. Tears bubbled out of her eyes, “But I became a widow through natural causes, and life began. My grief was not from loss – I know he's in a much better place – but from the abrupt and permanent changes in everyday life. My own journey through the program was a complicated one – waking up emotions – turning into a puddle of relief... learning to feel joy, anger, and every other emotion in the humanoid spectrum...”
I began to wonder if the dam would ever slow again. What have I done?
And now I live by Mama's words of, 'No one will ever do that to you again'. By the time I got my second chance at life, those words were ingrained into my psyche – and no one has – including that poor man who is toxic in so many ways.”
Joan hopped up to leave, “And I have places to go and things to do, Alexie. I'll leave you to what you do the best – correct me.”
I shuffled the papers on my desk, dealing with my own emotions, “Very good, Joan. Thank you for sharing that horrific chapter of your life with me – I probably would have told me to mind my own business.
But, yes, forward... march!”
Joan left me with Toxic Man – A Trilogy. I thought about all the others who – I hope –survived their own toxic partner and wondered if there are more positi
Alexie Linn
Alexie Linn was born, raised, and stuck in Whatcom County, Washington - that's the drippy side - until she escaped ca.1995 to the desert southwest -- Arizona. After her feet returned to normal human feet - as opposed to heavily webbed duck feet, she decided to stay near dry heat - except in August when the mild Pacific Northwest is simply marvelous most of the time. She holds certificates in writing, life coaching, nutritional therapy, and counseling - to name just a few. She loves to learn, to help people do what they want to do, and to call an RV her home, as long as it's parked out in the 'sticks'. Writing is her favorite thing to do at 3 AM while reading is her favorite thing to do at 3 PM. Alexie writes from a genetic need, much life experience, and an extremely active imagination.
Read more from Alexie Linn
The Aurora Borealis Affair Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRescue Me! Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBlindsided! Good Grief Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHoarder, Elaine, The Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsUnexpected Gifts: Good Grief! Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Personal Transformation of Queenie Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to Toxic Man
Related ebooks
Smile A While Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsStranger Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLove Unleashed Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5My Plus One Has Paws: Calliope Desford, #1 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOut of the Darkness: A Novel of Suspense Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLife Events: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Herbs and Homicide: Heywood Herbalist Cozy Mysteries, #1 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFighting for the Best: The TKO Love Series, #3 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsApocalypstick Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSix Thousand Miles Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhat I Remember Most Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Marilyn & Me: A Timeless Love Story Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Joy (Not) of Online Dating. . . A Senior's Perspective Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsUnder the Radar Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOne Night More: One Night of Danger, #2 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5One Whopper of a Love Story: A Sweet Romantic Comedy: Never Say Never, #7 Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Karadan Encounter: LIFE AND FICTION ARE NEVER FAR APART Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Homeless Panic: The Homeless Experience in America Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsROAD RAGE Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFire vs Fire Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSeizure Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Only Way: The Only Series, #4 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Fall of Grace Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsNow Through Labor Day Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings8 Funny Detective Stories with Maynard Soloman, Gal-Damn Detective Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCowgirl, Unexpectedly: Lazy S Ranch, #1 Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Fable City Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Five For a Start Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRoad Trip: Rock 'N' Romance Series, #2 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBlackbirds and Butterflies Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Personal Growth For You
The Big Book of 30-Day Challenges: 60 Habit-Forming Programs to Live an Infinitely Better Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Four Loves Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Self-Care for People with ADHD: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Prioritize You! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Think and Grow Rich (Illustrated Edition): With linked Table of Contents Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Unfuck Your Brain: Using Science to Get Over Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Freak-outs, and Triggers Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Personal Workbook Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Codependence and the Power of Detachment: How to Set Boundaries and Make Your Life Your Own Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Third Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Changes That Heal: Four Practical Steps to a Happier, Healthier You Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Girl, Stop Apologizing: A Shame-Free Plan for Embracing and Achieving Your Goals Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Mastery of Self: A Toltec Guide to Personal Freedom Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Reviews for Toxic Man
0 ratings0 reviews