With You: My love, My life

By Manu

‘With you’ is a story of love, romance and suspense.

Manu is a medico from a reputed medical college. His life is going nowhere until he meets Janu, who sweeps him off his feet at the very first look. He is instantly attracted to her, befriends her and finally proposes to her. Janu accepts him and life is like a fairy tale until the day Janu’s parents come to know about their love. Finally, Janu’s parents insist on her severing the relationship.

After three years of painful separation, Manu sees Janu in the central plaza one day. Memories rise from the sands of his past and haunt him again. He swings between his past and present. Twist in the tale comes when Janu is hospitalized after a serious accident. Manu is shattered but fate has something more in store for him.

Will Janu survive? Will Manu finds the love he has been waiting for?

Brace yourself and get ready to enjoy an emotional roller coaster ride as you travel back and forth in time dissolving yourself in pure love…

• Language: English
• Publisher: Notion Press
• Release date: Jan 29, 2015
• ISBN: 9789384878368

Book preview

chance

Prologue

Hi Dad,

I don’t know how to start this letter. Maybe, I’ll feel comfortable if I could open up and express all the thoughts that I have suppressed within me since ages.

I’m lonely, worried, disturbed and depressed, mixed with an emotional stroke of love. I know this is an abrupt start, and the introduction for this letter is bad. I couldn’t even phrase a single line to enquire about your wellbeing.

Dad, I haven’t forgotten all those special moments I shared with you. But, I’ve completely lost myself in this part of my life - where I left someone whom I can never get back. I love her dad. Life has changed drastically from the day she left me. I tried, but, can’t stop myself from falling deeper and deeper in love with her. I don’t know how I can live without her and I don’t even know how I managed to do so all these years.

There were days we both walked along lonely roads, days we had silent talks, days we both missed each other like we had no tomorrow, days we kissed each other, days we hugged each other in such a way that even air couldn’t separate us, days we dreamt of our future, and long romantic nights we spent talking over the phone. Each and every memory of her is still fresh in my heart, as if it all had happened yesterday. She left me with those memories and I’ll never forget them till my very last day.

Our parting was very dramatic. When she left me on that path to loneliness, it ripped my heart out. I still love her with every broken piece of my heart. That day, I never wanted to let her go; today all I desire is having her back in my life. I was so helpless when she left me; I couldn’t do anything other than to see my dreams with her crash upon me. She left me completely shattered.

Dad, behind this facade of mine, you will find a heart that cried out loud, which no one could hear. My smile isn’t real; I wear my mask well. I became a loner from the time she left me. Just look deep into my masked face and it will tell you a different story, a story of anger and deep pain. To people who think I’m happy, just look again; the scars of my past will lead you to a place no one knows, a place no other person can imagine, a place that echoes with the desolate cries of a lonely heart, a place where I’m being stabbed to death hundreds of times.

I don’t know when I’ll be able to erase her from my heart completely and I wonder if I’ll ever forget her completely. In spite of whatever happened between us, I continue to deeply miss her. Dad, I don’t know why it happens again and again; whenever I try to forget everything, the memories come back and hit me hard, like a rock. It’s hurting me. It’s making me bleed.

Dad, those lonely days really scared me a lot. Drugs helped to tide over those awful times. I got completely addicted to them. They always gave me immense happiness. Most times, I was alone, sitting in a dark room, smoking incessantly and listening to old classics. I have to thank my friends who helped me to get over my addictions but, I could do nothing about my heart. Even now, it’s suffering from that old wound which never healed completely. I even consulted a psychiatrist and was on medication. Slowly things started to change.

Dad, you asked me to promise that I would forget her. The day I promised you, you lost your son forever. I’m no more the same and you can never get your son back. Remember, you can never take her away from my heart. She’ll always be the one I love till my last breath.

Dad, remember the day when mom fell sick? That was the first time I saw tears in your eyes. I know you tried to hide it from others and I know you love mom a lot. That moment, something happened to me, I decided to love a girl like the way you loved mom. Dad, you are my hero, you are my strength, you are my weakness and you mean a lot to me.

I love you Dad. You are the best dad in the whole world. You sacrificed so much for my happiness. I’m not happy and you will never believe me if I say that. I pretend to be happy, wearing a wide smile on my face, but deep down in my heart, I am crying. I can’t ever escape this unbearable hell; life without her is meaningless. I just hate this life Dad.

Dad, lastly, I can never forgive you or her father or God, whoever it may be, for mercilessly ending my happiness. A father can never be a son’s best friend...

Your loving son,

Manu

I know this letter will hurt my father deeply. Penning down all this, I folded it and kept it in my desk. My dad is my best friend but even he couldn’t understand my love for her. I tried and gave up...

CHAPTER ONE

I’m just like a dot

I’m just like a dot separating two sentences, swinging between the past and present of my life. It has been three years since she left me with a broken heart. Now, memories that sleep deep and calm in the dungeons of my heart rose after I saw her in the central plaza. My heartbeat rapidly increased. She swept me off my feet again.

The day she left me alone on the road to loneliness, I walked, thinking of her with thoughts that stabbed my heart. Silence hugged me all through my journey. Loneliness harassed me. I tried breaking the virginity of loneliness that had me trapped in a deep sea of hurtful emotions. Time is the only thing that healed me. It gave me the best medication I ever knew as a medical student.

I sat by the shore. Memories started squeezing my heart. I still love her so deeply. It was around eleven o clock and I was still thinking of her. There was no one around me and darkness fell like a blanket. The moon adorned the neck of the darkness, casting its beauty. The stars were the only silent spectators to my sadness. The soothing music of the waves relaxed me.

She forgot to take these memories with her and they remained untouched for years. My heart and mind started a feckless debate as if they were two great enemies, one supporting thoughts of her and the other opposing them. By the time I tried to find out who won the debate, I dozed off.

When I opened my eyes, the sun was up in the sky casting its rays into my eyes as if searching for some lost object in a dark room. It was already seven. I felt something crawling inside my shirt and I awoke suddenly as if I had had a nightmare. I grabbed the insect in my hand; it bit me and jumped out of my hand.

I stood up, stretching my arms; I was covered with sand. I dusted it off and headed towards my bike which basked in the sunlight. It was Sunday and we had a football match with our seniors at college.

The first half of the game began. Our seniors had an upper hand over us during the first fifteen minutes. Our goal keeper made some fantastic saves. We changed our tactics from defensive to attacking. Gopal was pushed into the deep midfield and I, as usual, occupied the wings. We made our first aggressive attack. One of my friends moved down the court towards the goalie. He passed the ball to me. I bolted up the field when the number nine from the other team tackled me. He missed the ball and gored my ankle with his boot and I fell to the ground howling with pain. I was awarded a penalty. I know that the expectations of my entire team were now resting on my shoulders. It was my responsibility to score a goal from the penalty spot, which is around twelve yards away from the goal post. I stepped over the ball and my heart rate accelerated. I chose the right corner and kicked the ball but it hit the crossbar. I knew I had let my team down. In five minutes, it was half time.

The coach was furious. What are you Manu, you totally missed the penalty. What the hell happened to you?

I stood in front of him in absolute silence. I was not in a mood to