The Girl And Her Crutch

By Shannon Meiers

Chris Guild was stricken with polio at age twelve. Now a college freshman, she must dissect her feelings surrounding her disability. For the past six years, Chris has identified herself as the girl with the crutch, something she wishes desperately to escape. Chris struggles with feelings of anger toward God because of her disability. With the help of her roommate Samantha, and her college professor Ella Crunkle, Chris discovers where her identity really lies.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Shannon Meiers
• Release date: Jun 5, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301082520

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The Girl and Her Crutch

By Shannon Meiers

Copyright ©Shannon Meiers 2013

All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

Prologue

Chris Guild chewed her lip anxiously as she waited for the doctor's next sentence. At fifteen years old, she felt as though her life had ended before it began. She perched on the exam table, legs crossed, feet swinging back in forth, bumping the table as she surveyed the doctor's face. Dr. Swift wouldn't be too bad looking if he wasn't so soured faced. Chris thought to herself. The doctor looked up from studying his clipboard and narrowed his eyes as he took in Chris with the ankle brace clamped around her foot, and the crutch that leaned up against the table. He wasn't known for his optimism. Chris had heard a patient of his say that Dr. Swift almost seemed to enjoy crushing the small slivers of hope in his patients' lives. Dr. Swift inhaled before speaking again. Chris, after examining your leg, I can tell you definitively, there is no way you're going to be able to walk without that crutch. Don't expect too much of yourself. You need to accept your disability and move on.

Chris could feel her eyes begin to fill with tears, and something inside her died. For three years, since she was first diagnosed with polio, Chris Guild had held on to one hope; the hope that she would one day walk without any assistance. The examination room was silent for a moment while the doctor let his words sink in. When Chris' disappointment faded, she was left with anger. How dare he! That can't be right, it just can't! Chris had always been impulsive, but what she did next took even her parents by surprise. Chris pushed off of the table with her hands and balanced on her right foot for a second before tentatively taking some weight on her left foot. Chris winced as the spikes of pain shot up her leg from her ankle to her knee. Everything in her cried out Stop! What are you doing, you idiot! It's not worth the pain! But Chris had always been a fighter, and she fought now. She gritted her teeth and took a step, then another, and another until she had made it across the tiny room. Balancing herself with her arms, Chris crossed the room again before she collapsed on the examination table, finally giving in to the radiating waves of pain.

Soon after that, Chris switched doctors. She liked Dr. Nile much better. He took a far more positive look at her chances for walking without the crutch, and had nothing but encouragement for her.

Walking across the room without your crutch took determination, Chris. Dr. Nile leaned forward and focused on her eyes, as if to give his words more weight. And that’s what it will take for you to do it again. The doctor paused, and his eyes began to sparkle.

You can beat this, but you have to promise me you’ll be determined enough to do it. This doesn't have to define you, but it won't be easy. No one can help you do this; you’re the only one who can help you regain the strength in your leg.

Chris nodded. She understood well enough. If she wanted to be the girl without the crutch, she would have to accept that it would be difficult. But Chris would be alright with that. She would do whatever it took.

Chapter One

No matter what came Chris Guild's way, she knew could survive if she could run from it. Chris had dreamed of running five and ten kilometer races, becoming famous, and following her dreams. She felt so free when she heard the clop, clop, clop of tennis shoes on pavement and felt the way the wind kissed her cheeks and ruffled her short brown hair.

All of that had changed when she lost the use of her left leg. Other people with the same injury might have resigned themselves to life in a wheelchair, but Chris was different. She always had been different.

At five years old, all the other little girls her age wanted to be princesses, ride unicorns, and slide down rainbows into fluffy white clouds. Chris had voiced her desire to tell others about Jesus. Originally, she had dreamt of sharing her faith by becoming a missionary, maybe a Bible translator, having adventures in steamy jungles. She had wanted to boldly proclaim her love for Jesus in a place where no others ever had. Chris had been the quintessential Christian girl, never wavering in her determination to be a missionary. Until fourth grade--when she joined the track and field team at her elementary school and fell in love with running.

At the time, she had held on to the idea that her purpose could run for Jesus, although her grandmother held the opinion that Chris' new hobby was merely a bump in the road, a distraction from God’s intentions for her life. Chris, what if Jesus is calling you to be you? Not a famous, athlete but you, the compassionate, beautiful girl who loves to help people?

How am I supposed to survive college if I can't run? Chris asked herself as she folded clothes and shoved them into her suitcase. Chris blew her choppy brown bangs out of her eyes as she looked up from her packing. After flitting around briefly, her gaze landed on the crutch propped up against the side of her bed. Deep within her, Chris could feel a sense of bitterness and hopelessness boiling. She was no stranger to these feelings, having been assailed by them for six years. It's just not fair, Chris thought to herself as she turned her thoughts to the last few t- shirts that remained on her bed. Why do I have to be different? Why can't I just be like everyone else?

When other people needed crutches, they were only used for a few weeks or months, until the leg healed. But those people hadn't been diagnosed with polio.

All of this came flooding back to Chris in a moment, her thoughts deep and probing, prodding into her heart and the depths of her desires. Oh Gamma, I wish I could talk to you now. I have so many questions. You always knew so much about life and about Jesus. What would you think of the person I've become? I barely open my Bible between Sundays. Will I ever be someone you could be proud of? Will I ever feel as though I truly belong anywhere? Will I ever be who I want to be?" Will this crutch always be a part of who I am? Will my identity be forever tied to how well I can or can't walk without crutches?

While she considered these things, her younger sister came bouncing up the steps into Chris's bedroom.

Need any help, sis? Brooke asked. Mom and Dad are almost ready to go.

No thanks, I got it. Chris grinned at her sister as she snapped the suitcase shut. Although four years separated the two girls, they had always been as close as twins. Somehow, her sister's presence cheered Chris up, just as it always had. Brooke's tall, lanky, graceful figure and long, flowing platinum blonde hair contrasted starkly to Chris's short stature and the short, flyaway hair that she never had the patience to tame. Two different outlooks on life and Christianity also separated the girls. In this way too, Brook was everything that Chris was not. Brooke was sure of her Savior; sure that Jesus had a plan for her life. Brooke. Never dared to question the truths they were fed in church week in and week out. But Chris couldn't think about all of that right now; she had to concentrate on finishing the packing.

All too soon, Brooke was bounding down the steps with Chris’s luggage, while Chris cautiously maneuvered the steps with her crutch. When the girls reached the driveway where Chris’s car sat, a feeling of finality struck her. She was really leaving to go to school. Finally, she would move out of the sleepy little hick town of Clearwater.

She could hardly wait. Ever since she had been stricken with polio at age twelve, the world seemed so limiting. The people in it appeared shallow. Everybody always wanted to help her with something or acted like she had some sort of contagious disease. Chris looked forward to settling into