How To Slay a Dragon

By Bill Allen

Greg Hart can't slay a dragon. He'd be lucky to win a fight against one of the smaller girls at school. His only real skill is that he can run faster than any other twelve-year-old boy in his class, a necessity, since that's who he's usually running from. Oh, it's not like he's never been the hero at the center of an adventure. It's just the kind of adventures he's been involved with have always been the made-up kind he's written about in his journal. Now the magicians of Myrth have yanked Greg into a strange new world, where the monsters he must run from are far scarier--and hungrier--than anything he's ever run from before. He tries to tell everyone there's been a mistake. Ruuan is a very large dragon, while Greg, on the other hand, is neither large nor a dragon. He's barely much of a boy. Unfortunately, such trivialities could never stop the people of Myrth from believing Greg will rescue King Peter's daughter from Ruuan. After all, Greg has been named in a prophecy, and no prophecy has ever been wrong before. Why, Greg wonders, does he have to be at the heart of the first one that is?

• Language: English
• Publisher: BelleBooks
• Release date: Jan 1, 2011
• ISBN: 9781935661870

Book preview

is?

The Journals of Myrth

How To Slay A Dragon

How To Save A Kingdom

How To Stop A Witch

How to Slay a Dragon

Journals of Mryth

Book One

Bill Allen

Bell Bridge Books

Copyright

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons (living or dead,) events or locations is entirely coincidental.

Bell Bridge Books

PO BOX 300921

Memphis, TN 38130

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-935661-87-0

ISBN: 978-1-61194-006-0

Bell Bridge Books is an Imprint of BelleBooks, Inc.

Copyright © 2011 by Bill Allen

Printed and bound in the United States of America.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.

We at BelleBooks enjoy hearing from readers.

Visit our websites – www.BelleBooks.com and www.BellBridgeBooks.com.

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2

Cover design: Debra Dixon

Interior design: Hank Smith

Photo credits:

Dragon © Alexey Bakhtiozin | istockphoto

:Ashd:01:

Dedication

In memory of Mom, who, along with Dad,

inspired more absurdity than anything on Myrth.

Acknowledgments

Many thanks to Raymond and Barbara Feist for their encouragement in the beginning, to the members of the Brevard Scribblers and the Space Coast Writers’ Guild for their feedback along the way, to Gene Davis for helping give the book its second wind, to Debra Dixon and the many others at Bell Bridge Books for helping me to make Greg Hart’s story a better one, and most of all to my wife, Nancy, for enduring it all.

The Mighty Greg Hart

Greg Hart’s name had never caused him trouble before.

It was nothing like the name for Winnie Weimar, who everyone at school was always calling Whiney Weimar. And it was way better than the one pinned on poor Richard Kinickey, more commonly known as Icky Ricky Kinickey. It wasn’t even as bad as the one for Dewey Doolittle, who everyone called—well, Dewey Doolittle. No, Greg Hart had a perfectly normal name, which is why, for the most part, the other kids just called him Greg and were done with it.

Problem was, for twelve years now Greg’s name may have simply been biding its time.

In the center of the woods behind Greg’s house stood a large oak, where between two boughs rested a smattering of scrap wood that might have been called a tree house, had a person been feeling especially generous. There Greg sat, cross-legged on the creaking wood floor, writing in his journal, his tousled brown hair jutting out in all directions. Another boy might have written about the events of his morning, or even about his apprehension over starting junior high tomorrow, but not Greg. As always he chose stories more to his liking.

Today he’d been chased by a giant.

I was a little worried at first. With each step the giant took, the ground trembled and split. Huge boulders dislodged and crashed across my path. Trees toppled. Then it hit me.

An idea, that is, not the giant. Or a tree.

I screamed out a warning. The giant yawned. (It’s not that easy to capture the attention of a giant.)

That’s when I charged. Poor beast never even saw me coming. Imagine its surprise when I wedged my shoulder between two enormous toes and easily brought it to its knees.

Greg paused and held his pen to his chin. Truth was, he’d be lucky to survive a fight with a classmate, let alone one with a giant—compared to Greg, his classmates were giants—but the Greg Hart from his journal was capable of countless feats Greg would never take on himself, so he shrugged and scratched out an end to his tale.

A deafening roar shook the forest as the giant teetered first forward, then back, and dropped like a falling skyscraper, splaying the last of the trees. For twenty minutes the ground trembled, short in comparison to the hour it took to climb my way out of the newly formed cavern.

I didn’t mind. Small price to pay for saving yet another kingdom.

Cool, Greg told himself as he snapped his journal closed and crammed it into the pocket of his jeans. What he wouldn’t give to win a fight against a giant.

Of course, it’s not like he’d never been in a fight before. It’s just to date his experiences always leaned more toward getting beaten up rather than throwing any punches. About the only thing he had in common with the Greg Hart from his journal was that he could run really fast. Here he had plenty of experience—way more than any boy would have liked—but less, he feared, than he would need at his new school tomorrow.

No, Greg’s strength was simply not one of his strengths. His smile drained away, and he fell back against the wall of the tree house, ignoring the groan of the buckling lumber.

Greg had spent all morning exploring the woods behind his house, where it was not uncommon for every bush to hide a monster, for the trees to pick up and move when he wasn’t watching, and for animals to chase him at blinding speeds down the twisted paths, nipping at his heels with every step.

Imagining you’re a hero could be exhausting work.

Soon Greg’s eyelids began to droop and his head began to list, but his imagination was just getting its second wind. Before him appeared a courtyard filled with people, all shouting and waving their arms.

Greg Hart! Greg Hart! Greg Hart! they cheered, and there was Greg at the center of it all, grinning so wide it looked as if his head might split in half. Eyes fully closed now, the daydreaming Greg smiled too. He’d have fought a giant twice the size for half the glory.

Gradually the picture blurred and reformed, until next to Greg stood a pretty young maiden in a long, flowing gown. A huge man in a magenta robe and gold crown strode forward, a king, who spoke in a most grandiose tone.

Our greatest thanks to you, young man. I must say, only the very bravest of heroes would have willingly marched into the lair of that fire-breathing dragon. No words can express our gratitude. No words at all. We shall remain forever in your debt. In his mind Greg saw the maiden reach up on tiptoes to give him a grateful kiss, and the spectators threw their hats in the air and cheered even louder than before.

Greg woke with a start. Where would he ever find a young maiden who needed to stand on tiptoes to kiss him? Where would he find one willing to kiss him at all? He pushed the thought from his mind and tried to return to the courtyard, but the image wouldn’t come.

He was still straining when a sudden rustling outside caused him to jump. It was not the sound of a giant, or a dragon, or even some unthinkable monster lurking in the bushes. It was worse. It was the sound of a big kid.

Greg leapt to his feet and peered between two scrap boards at the trail below. Ogre!

If only.

Greg recognized the crooked jaw, the squashed nose and bulging red cheeks, the jet black eyes set deep beneath the single heavy brow. It was a face that would have been happy on a boxer, but no, the face was not happy, and the boy was no boxer—at least not by profession. His name was Manny Malistino, only everyone called him Manny Malice, or better yet, Sir, if they thought he might be listening.

No sight in the world could have disturbed Greg more. True, Manny was in Greg’s grade, but he seemed bigger than all the other boys at school combined. Surely he’d have graduated high school by now if he hadn’t been let back so often—perhaps even got a good start on a technical vocation, provided he found one where he didn’t need to think.

A sudden movement caught Greg’s eye, and he knew at once he’d been wrong. There were worse things than the sight of Manny approaching. Kristin Wenslow was there too!

Quite possibly the cutest girl on the planet, Kristin was an unbelievably tiny thing (though certainly no shorter than Greg himself) with long, brownish hair that turned blond at the surface where the sun struck. Did she always have that many freckles? Too bad she didn’t even know Greg was alive. Not that he was complaining—Greg always preferred going unnoticed to being chased by the big kids who did notice him—it’s just, well, sometimes he wished he could be chased by Kristin. He couldn’t believe she was out with a brute like Manny Malice, or that she of all people was going to be here to witness Greg’s inevitable beating.

Last one there’s a rod and egg, Manny shouted. With a shove he sent Kristin stumbling aside, and Greg wasted a lot of valuable time watching her flail her arms for balance when he should have noticed Manny running straight at him.

A normal boy would have taken at least a minute to climb the large oak. Manny took a more direct route. He let out a battle cry and jumped, and Greg jerked back as a row of cucumber-like fingers latched onto the edge of the opening in the floor at his feet. Threatening cucumbers, like those left out too long in the sun. Not that they were squishy or anything. On the contrary, they looked big and hard, and Greg had an idea they would look even bigger and harder if Manny rolled them into a fist.

The fingers squeezed. Greg’s bowels squeezed harder. Maybe Manny did resemble the giant he’d just defeated on the pages of his journal, but Greg would have been a fool to think he could fare as well in real life. Manny’s forearm shot up through the opening and braced against the wood floor. In a moment his head would pop into view.

Greg bit back a scream. Above was a loose board in the ceiling. Okay, several. He shoved one aside and scrambled through the upper opening just as Manny pried through the hole below. The escape was so narrow, Greg’s feet were still swaying just inches above Manny’s slicked-back hair when Manny’s head popped through the floor and squinted into the relative darkness. Greg’s breath seized in his throat. Only his mind raced on. For the first time in his life he was glad to be the shortest boy at school.

Slowly, deliberately, he pulled his legs up through the gap, cringing as the wood creaked under his weight. (Fortunately his was the type of tree house that would have sounded more suspicious if it ever stopped creaking.) Not until he made it out undetected did Greg breathe again. He peered over the edge of the roof at Kristin, only to have Manny’s head pop through a hole in the wall not two feet below his own. Greg gasped, threw a hand over his mouth, and eased out of sight.

Aren’t you coming up? Manny shouted down to Kristin in the same taunting voice he’d used countless times on Greg.

I guess, Greg heard Kristin reply. He fought back the urge to peer over the edge again. Instead he lay motionless, straining to hear as Kristin’s grunts and groans marked her progress up the trunk below.

What do I do now? she called out, her voice sweet and innocent and everything Manny wasn’t.

You need to jump across, Manny tempted.

I can’t jump that far.

Sure you can. What are you, chicken?

Greg listened. Out of the silence came a scream. Greg’s head snapped up, followed by the rest of him, and before he could stop himself he jumped to the rescue.

What was he thinking? Why should he believe he’d fare any better in a fall from this height than Kristin would? How did he expect to beat her down if he did? Why did stop signs have eight sides? These were just a few of the things Greg contemplated as he fell in agonizing slow motion toward the ground.

He thought a long while.

About halfway down he heard Manny ask Kristin why she was screaming. Kristin came up with a rather cute story about putting her hand on a beetle, and an eternity later Greg’s feet struck a small puddle near the base of the tree. Jolts of pain shot through his shins and ankles, his knees buckled, and in spite of his best efforts to be quiet, Greg let out a groan that would have sent even the monsters lurking in the underbrush scurrying, if the splash hadn’t already scared them off.

From above there came a shout. Shoes like boulders landed with a thud next to Greg’s face. Large boulders, with no toes to wedge a shoulder between. Greg jumped to his feet. He risked one glance up at Kristin’s confused face—could she be any cuter?—and ran for his house, his soaked sneakers squishing with every stride.

Throughout the pages of his journal Greg had been chased by monsters of every kind known to man, and more than a few of his own invention. None posed a bigger threat than the creature behind him now. His legs ached from the jump, and he could hear Manny panting just steps behind, but he didn’t dare look back. Instead he shot down the path as though his life depended on it. Anyone who knew Manny would have agreed it was worth the effort.

Yet Greg was strangely hopeful. True, he was running for his life, but the fact he was able to do so proved he was good at it, and Manny was too heavy to handle the tight bending trails. Greg knew he couldn’t be caught.

Unless, of course, he tripped.

A nearly hysterical scream split the air. It lingered there for a second, or as Greg measured it, five heartbeats, and then Greg found himself struggling atop a thorny bush, unable to get up, as the sound of Manny’s footfalls grew nearer.

Twenty more heartbeats passed, during which Greg swore he heard a tree fall and at least two boulders dislodge. What happened next he wasn’t exactly sure, only that it began with a blinding white light and a very long tunnel. He decided at that moment he must have been right. He had been running for his life, but apparently this one time his feet had not been up to the task.

Hart-Felt Greetings

Is he alive?

Of course he’s alive. Give him room. He may be a hero, but he still needs to breathe.

When Greg opened his eyes his first reaction was to close them again instantly. This turned out to be his second reaction as well. He might have given it a third go had one of the hooded figures hovering over him not poked him with a sharp stick before he could get to it. Instead Greg yelped, and his eyes popped open.

He was no longer in the woods. He lay on a hard flagstone surface lit by a dim, flickering light. What little air managed to squeeze its way to him reeked of something familiar, though Greg couldn’t quite put a finger on it, and wasn’t sure he would if he could.

Greg shrank back as the surrounding figures drifted closer. Everywhere he looked, nothing but black robes and sticks. Inside the many hoods, only darkness. Finally one figure leaned over and peered down at him, and Greg felt a glimmer of relief at seeing the shadowed face of a man, even if that face was scowling.

Doesn’t look like much of a warrior to me, the man said in an icy voice that would have made Death himself envious. Are you sure you got the right one?

Of course, Mordred, said another. Look at his eyes.

Those are warrior eyes, all right, said a third. My Uncle Cedric had eyes just like ’em—only his were blue now that I think about it, and more bloodsho—

Yes, yes, Dimitrius, Icy-Voiced Man nearly spat. We all remember Cedric. Why do you suppose his feet are wet?

Uncle Cedric didn’t have wet feet.

Quiet, everyone, said the man who had poked Greg. Stand back, you’re smothering him. He jabbed Greg again, but Greg sent him shuffling quickly backward by yelling twice as loudly as before.

Careful, Agni, someone shouted. I think you hurt him.

Are you kidding? Do you know who this is?

I say we find out, said Icy-Voiced Man. He raised one hand, causing Greg to flinch, but he was just drawing back his hood. His dark eyes stared without compassion past his stringy black hair as he locked gazes with Greg. Who are you, boy? Tell us your name.

W-what? said Greg, his voice two octaves higher than normal. He surprised himself by wishing it were Manny Malice staring down at him. Only, where was Manny? Or Kristin? For that matter, where were the woods behind his house?

See. I told you the boy was no hero.

Wait, came a voice from behind. Give him a chance, Mordred. He’s probably just disoriented from the trip. Go ahead, sir, tell him who you are.

One by one the remaining figures lowered their hoods. Greg was relieved to see that beneath each was a face, some gleeful, others excited or anxious, a few that might have even been wary, but none as disapproving as the one from the man named Mordred.

I-I’m Greg, he told them. Greg Hart. Throughout the room men gasped.

Wait, Mordred commanded, holding up a hand for silence. He leaned closer and stared, as if daring Greg to lie to him. Tell us, boy, are you from Earth?

Greg swallowed hard before replying. Do I look like an alien?

Mordred’s expression gave no hint of what he might be thinking.

Where else would I be from? Greg clarified.

One man slapped his knee and laughed. I knew it! A few others clapped, though they stopped rather abruptly when Mordred directed his stare their way.

A voice called out, You did it, Lucky. You did it.

A boy about Greg’s age stepped forward and hovered over Greg, his mouth drawn into a wide smile, his green eyes gleaming. Unlike the others, he wore a bright orange tunic and tights that clashed badly with his even brighter red hair. Of course, he boasted. Did you have any doubts?

Plenty, someone shouted.

I know I did, said another.

Me too, came a voice from behind. The boy’s smile temporarily faded as a general rumble of agreement erupted throughout the room.

Never a one, came a booming voice so commanding Greg couldn’t help but roll toward the sound. High above towered an enormous man whose shoulders rose above everyone else in the room. For an instant Greg thought he’d found Manny Malice, but then he noticed the luxurious robe of magenta velvet, and the speckled gray hair peeking out from beneath a golden crown. The man put a hand on the redheaded boy’s shoulder. If we could count on anyone to find him, I knew it would be you. He winked and added, Good job, by the way. Always an amazement.

The boy flushed as red as his hair and bowed. It was nothing, Your Majesty. I’m only happy to serve you.

Please. It’s just me, Peter, remember?

Sorry, Your Majesty—I mean—Peter.

Hah! You keep trying. You’ll get it someday. The man turned his attention to Greg then. So, Greghart, you all right? You look a bit peaked. Can you stand?

Greg debated. If he did he’d surely just drop this way again. Even so, the boy in orange helped him up as the robed figures replaced their hoods and eased into the shadows.

Forgive me, said the boy. I should introduce you. This is King Peter Pendegrass the Third. Out of the side of his mouth he whispered. He’s in charge here.

With a great deal of effort, considering the distance he had to go, the king bowed low, as if he were the one in the presence of royalty. I am quite honored to make your acquaintance, Greghart... and please, if you could just call me Peter.

Oh, and I’m Lucky, the boy in orange added quickly.

Greg stared at him dumbly. Good for you.

No, I mean my name is Lucky. Short for Luke.

Actually it’s longer, Greg said. Hey, where am I?

Inside Pendegrass Castle, my dear, replied a woman who stepped up from behind King Peter’s elbow, in the Kingdom of Myrth. Like the boy, she had red hair, but with wisps of silvery gray, and like the king, she wore a velvet robe and crown. Well, not exactly like the king. The crown was similar, but her robe was about a third the size of her husband’s and flowed with a grace befitting a queen, while King Peter’s looked more like someone’s feeble attempt at decorating a bear.

Myrth? Greg repeated.

I think you’ll find it a lovely place, the woman told him, that is, if you don’t get too caught up in your noble purposes to enjoy it. She smiled reassuringly. Just promise if you get the chance you’ll pause every now and then to savor the peace, agreed?

Yes, ma’am, Greg said, though he had no idea what she was talking about.

Oh, where are my manners? Lucky cried. Greghart, this is Her Majesty, Queen Pauline Pendegrass.

Queen Pauline? Greg muttered.

The queen’s smile widened. I’m sorry, dear. I suppose this all must seem a bit overwhelming. Is there anything we can get for you?

Greg felt his mouth open and close. A new mind might be good. Apparently he’d lost his old one.

Queen Pauline laughed, a soft, lilting sound. Well, if you think of anything let me know. I promise we’ll get through this as quickly as we can. I hate to subject you to it at all, really, but I’m afraid we have no choice. So many people have come to be a part of this historic event, and they’d be so terribly disappointed if they didn’t get a chance to at least shake your hand.

Historic event? Sure, Greg would describe this as one, but why would anyone else?

Of course, said King Peter. I know we may look fancy in all this festive grandeur, he said, indicating his robe with a sweep of his hand, followed by a roll of his eyes that only Greg could see, but we’re a humble people, really. It’s not every day we get to see a prophecy fulfilled.

Prophecy? Greg said.

With a light press on the shoulder, King Peter guided him toward a huge oak door set in the middle of one wall. Oh, didn’t we tell you about the prophecy?

You didn’t tell me about anything.

Then I guess that would include the prophecy, wouldn’t it?

Greg stared at the man. What prophecy?

"Oh my. Well, I’m afraid we have no time for explanations. Everyone

Reviews for How To Slay a Dragon

[vcg610 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Bill Allen has created the perfect protagonist for middle school readers. Greg Hart is rich in imagination but a tad below average in size, strength and self confidence. That all changes when he is magically transported to another world, Myrth, to fulfill a prophecy. This prophecy requires heroics way beyond poor Greg's skill set but he goes along with the quest because the folks in this world believe in him.Allen's wit, sense of humor, and word play skills will entice reluctant readers to follow Greg's great adventure involving ogres, trolls, a wicked witch, a princess in need of rescue, and of course a mighty magical dragon.This is a How To manual loaded with action, adventure and a reluctant hero who also has the good fortune to be featured in Journals of Myrth: Book Two, How To Save A Kingdom.A fantasy which reminds me a little of Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer, with a little A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur's Court. Guaranteed enjoyable reading for readers young and old.

[liveshipvivacia · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This adorable twist on 'slaying' a dragon is quite charming and humorous. The tone is rather light and the author engages in quite a bit of word play to help keep the reader at ease. It is not a book to be read in one sitting, but to keep coming back to in an effort to savor it.

My own quibble with it has to do with the eBook edition, where there were strange paragraph spacings where there shouldn't be. I'm not certain if this holds over to the print edition, but the gaps made it a little disorienting, like the scene had changed even though it hadn't.

[tjsjohanna_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I liked that Greg was not brave by any stretch of the imagination, but because everyone believed in him, pushed him to do what they knew he could do, and have him just the right amount of support, Greg rose to the challenge and gained skills and self confidence. The story moved right along and had enough action to keep kids interested.

[roses7184_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

For Greg Hart, fantasies are a part of life. His journal is a place to share the person that he wishes he was. A hero. A strong, quick and brave character who slays vicious baddies with one hand tied behind his back (and of course always gets the girl in the end). Little does poor Greg know that he is destined to set off on a actual dangerous quest! In this story Greg really is the hero, and one false move will land him on the dragon's lunch menu.

I honestly loved Greg as a character, and I know that the reading group this book is aimed at will as well. He is funny, honest, and downright noble at times. Beneath the scrawny boy that everyone sees on the outside beats the heart of a hero. Greg has a quick wit that made me laugh out loud more than once. I adored how the author allowed his character to have doubts and fears. Greg isn't certain the prophecy is about him, and he's willing to (loudly) voice that to anyone who will listen. Still, he knows that a princess' life is at stake. Despite his fears, off he goes on an epic adventure.

Bill Allen weaves a story that will have you glued to your seat, with your eyes in the book, from page one. Trolls, dragons, witches, you name it and you'll probably find it in this fast moving story. The trials that Greg faces are too much fun! (Well maybe not for him, but definitely for the reader.) You get to follow him as he grows and changes, and by the time the end of the story comes it is almost heartbreaking. I know I'm definitely looking forward to more of Greg's adventures.

The last thing I want to mention, because it amused me so greatly, is the word play that is present in this book! How to Slay a Dragon is peppered with puns, jokes, and just plain silliness. I am not afraid to admit that I giggled. A lot. There are some parts of this story that are just so absurd that you have to! Fans of fantasy stories will love this. I'd absolutely recommend this to upper middle grade readers as well. They might not get all the puns, but I guarantee they'll fall in love with Greg.

Long story short? Get a copy. How to Slay a Dragon is a great addition to any adventure lover's shelf.

[mrslee_1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

The story of a young boy who is very timid and makes himself brave in the stories he writes. He finds himself sucked into such a world and having to play the part of the hero, for which he is not prepared.This story was not for me, I couldn't finish it. What was supposed to be silly and witty came across to me as condescending and tedious. So far as I could tell, by skipping to the end after I was 42% of the way through the book, the "hero's" character never changed, nor did the tone, so I put it aside.

[lostinalibrary · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Twelve-year-old Greg Hart is a great hero, able to defeat any and all monsters and all-round bad guys while still making it home for dinner - at least in the stories he writes. In real life, he is the constant target of bullies, beaten up on a daily basis. One day, as he is running from one such bully, Greg finds himself pulled into a different world called Myrth where he discovers that, according to prophesy, he will slay a dragon and save the princess.Greg tries to convince everyone the prophecy is wrong or, at least, he's not the one it's about, especially as there is already a hero in Myrth named Greatheart - surely, he has to be The Guy of which the prophecy speaks. Unfortunately, almost everyone thinks he's just being modest (so heroic) and unless he fulfills the prophecy, he may never get home. How to Slay a dragon is a fun and funny book aimed at a YA audience. It's chock full of puns and word play that I suspect children will find irresistible. It is the perfect rainy day book - it's charm and humour will keep children glued to the page from beginning to end - and adults will get more than the occasional chuckle out of poor Greg's attempt to prove he's not the hero of prophecy until - well, maybe he is.

[stewartry · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This is a young adult novel I was granted access to by Netgalley – my thanks. It's a classic idea: a much-bullied 12-year-old boy is whisked off from his down-trodden life to another world, where he can become a hero. Greg Hart is just that boy – and Myrrth is just that other world. He abruptly finds himself in the middle of a ring of wizards who have gone searching for him through the worlds. Well – searching for the mighty Greghart, prophesied to slay the dragon who will take the princess. Greg protests futilely that he would have trouble slaying a dragonfly, much less a dragon ("He'd be lucky to win a fight against one of the smaller girls at school") – particularly when he realizes there's a bona fide dragonslayer called Greatheart – but no one listens: they are certain that the prophecy clearly points to him, and prophecies guide everyone's lives on Myrrth, and therefore a-slaying he will go. It's a clever and fun twist on the idea. I had two problems with the writing: Greg was constantly "almost scream"ing or "nearly scream"ing or straight out screaming – and when it wasn't screaming it was shrieking. The other fingernails-on-a-blackboard thing was a misuse of language, an incorrect past tense used constantly. It's actually a sort of a spoiler to be more specific; the blunder is necessary. But really irritating. If you find puns intolerable, this is not the book (or series) for you; from chapter headings on through puns abound. My favorites herein are the names of the dragons, Ruuan being the one Greg is expected to take out. It does wear a little thin after a while, but might be fun for its actual target audience. I liked Greg (mostly) and the other characters (mostly – and especially Ruuan), and while I found it a little irritating that there were some mysteries left mysterious (who Nathan is, exactly, for example) it is understandable in light of plans for a series. It's a good foundation - and with one of my favorite covers of the year so far.

[rhonda1111 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

How to Slay a Dragon by Bill Allen 4 starsHow to Slay a Dragon is a fun ride. It is quite the adventure that Greg Hart finds him self in. Greg is a hero in his stories that he writes but in school he is picked on by bullies. One day he was running from the bullies and all of a sudden he is somewhere else Myrth.King Peter of Myrth had his magicians bring him for they believed he was the hero who was prophicied would slay the dragon and rescue the princess. They all really belived this boy could slay the dragon. Greg knew they got the wrong person because their was no way he could kill a dragon.Lucky helped to choose Greg and he knew he was right after all he was lucky.Lucky would show Greg the way. Lucky lost his parents last year and the King brought him to the castle to be brought up. Lucky also had magic backpack that he carried a lot of food even a sword in it.First they have to travel a forest that after you got to the middle the trails disappear. It also is full of monsters. They also have to face a witch to get tools they need to survive a dragon's Lair.Greg has to face a lot of enemys before he even got to see the dragon. It is a entertaining adventure and their is more adventures coming in the future that I would not mind reading too.I was given this ebook to read in exchange for honest review from Netgalley.01/01/2012 PUB Bell Bridge Books

[leahdawn_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A cute children's story that flips traditional quest story archetypes to create a hilarious, inventive adventure. A great read for kids in late elementary/ early jr.high, or adults who just like a fun book. A little slow-moving in parts, but generally a humorous, charming story.

[grgenius_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Have you ever heard it's all in what you say...or rather how it's perceived? Mistaken meanings happen EVERY DAY. Online, in person, in text , on the phone, you name it and someone has mistaken the meaning of what someone has said for something completely different...for better or worse. Such is the case here for our young "hero" (champion or sandwich?), Greg Hart of Earth who apparently is the long sought champion-to-be of Myrth in lieu of another by a similar name that happens to fight dragons every other day. (Are you with me so far? Good.) Hmm...interesting coincidence? I don't know....the circumstances under which the prophecy was obtained are rather sketchy to say the least but then again stranger (odd or person?) things have happened.Massively fun word play is the name of the game and it runs amuck throughout the story. Hear and their...or rather HERE and THERE you can find it on almost everyone page; a cornucopia of English class fun if I do say so myself. I can certainly see this working in a classroom setting as a great learning assignment to illustrate proper word usage. But anywho, aside from the nerdy wordy fun, there is the adventure itself.Greg Hart (or is that Greghart as all the people of Myrth believe his name to be?) is a likable character, as is Lucky, Priscilla, and a slue of other friendly types met along the way. Even the not-quite-as-friendly (or helpful) ones are great...like the Witch Hazel (ha, get it?!) and Simon Sezxqrthm (Simon Sez for short....ha!)....each adding a little something special to the story in their own way of course. Every one he encounters on his journey brings a little mischief to the overall prophecy as it unfolds before their eyes and you can guarantee that while being engrossed in thoughts of just what might happen next (and laughing at all the "inside" jokes you uncover), you'll be taken by surprise as the unseen path is followed. It's not a book that leaves its potential outcomes wide open for you to gawk and stare at, no sir. You have selectively pick it out of the proverbial haystack, or merely let it run its course and hold on tight....me, I prefer the second method here.In short (length not height), a wordy adventure into the realm of fantasy steeped with enough action to draw you in and enough word play to keep you thinking (and laughing) along the way. I for one thoroughly enjoyed this romp through the land of Myrth and can not wait for our next chance to visit them once again.

[vforcina_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I thought this was a really great book. There are a lot of children's books out that are very predictable or that follow a certain mold, but this is not one. Although I thought the story would turn out a certain way, I was pleasantly surprised. This book is great for kids around the same age as the main character. Even though I'm a little bit (...a lot) older than 7th grade I found myself entertained and rooting for Greg. I look forward to more from the author!

[ronincats · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This book for middle-school kids was an ER book.This quest story about a twelve-year-old boy yanked into a fantasy world to kill a dragon is saved from mediocrity by its clever variations on the traditional quest story as well as its atrocious but very clever puns. The action moved quickly, the characters were interesting, and the ending left a lot of room for other stories to follow in the series. Because of my work in the elementary school, I've read a lot of books at this level, and this is one of the better of the later crop of series.

[beckylynn_1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

How to Slay a Dragon is basically Percy Jackson in Medieval times. Allen has believable characters and really develops them into likeable people. However, with that being said, I found the storyline a bit boring....(yes, I know, boo and hiss). Greg was continously finding himself in tight places and by some magic way, getting himself out of them. Allen has a lot of potential in my personal opinion in the writing world, his ideas and characters are great, but his writing is a bit confusing in places. You can tell he is a funny man, and wants to put that into his work, but it just isn't always appropriate in EVERY situation.

[mariah7_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I really enjoyed this book. It was funny. Greg had a great sense of humor about the whole thing and is a realistic character. All the little adventures they went through kept me entertained. This book is more for younger kids but at 18 i really liked it.

[vkhowll · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

In "How to Slay a Dragon", Greg Hart is a 12 year old boy who spends his days running from bullies, admiring girls from a distance, and writing in his journal about the adventures in which he day-dreamed he is the hero. While running from a bully, Greg is magically swept into a would in which he is prophesied to be the great dragon-slayer hero of the world of Myrth. He is told that he will defeat the dragon Ruuan and rescue the princess. Though Greg has no confidence in himself, everyone around him is sure that he will fulfill the prophecy. He is encouraged by those around him and as the story goes along you see Greg gaining confidence in himself.This was an exceptionally good book that anyone would find endearing. In the beginning, I found the book to be a little slow in the beginning but as I continued to read I became more interested. I found many parts to be very funny. The book sent a great message that no matter your size or status in life that you have the ability to conquer any obstacle.

[dancingstarfish · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

“Greg held his breath as they passed and silently congratulated himself for not screaming, even if his ability to keep quiet was largely due to the tightness of the hand Nathan clamped over his mouth. In moments the danger was gone.”Scrawny, scared, twelve-year-old Greg Hart likes to write in his journals about grand adventures. In real life, he is more likely to be seen running at top speed from a bully than fighting one. One day much like any other, he is running away from one of his main tormentors, Manny Malice, when he is magically pulled into the world of Myrth. The people of Myrth tell him they brought him there to fulfill a prophecy. The prophecy says that “Greghart” (not to be confused, of course, with Marvin Greatheart, who lives in Myrth and is a dragonslayer by trade) will rescue a princess and slay the dragon. This terrifies Greg because he knows he cannot conceivably do either. Greg protests that he isn’t a hero and can’t fight a girl successfully (much less finish this quest in one piece) but he is ignored. Everyone good-naturedly tells him hes being silly, of course he can slay the dragon, rescue the princess and live to tell the tale. They shoo him off onto his adventure and Greg goes mostly because he can’t seem to get anyone listen to him.Although it starts off a bit slow, Bill Allen’s How to Slay a Dragon becomes a charming fantasy story full of humor and amusing encounters. Greg is a great character because he is practical, realistic and ultimately terrified of everything. He keeps trying to get out of the adventure by constantly pointing out to people the various ways he won’t survive.Despite his protests, everyone on Myrth believes fully in the prophecy which causes Greg to doubt every decision they make, as each one seems to lead him closer and closer to being incinerated by the dragon. Since he is new to the world of Myrth, he can’t help but look for danger or magic around every corner. In response, the characters of Myrth have a dry sense of humor that is delightful to experience.(In this passage Greg is getting ready to go meet with the evil Witch and his friends are helping him to prepare.)“I want you to take this with you” Nathan said, holding out his weathered staff. “Be careful with it though. I want it back in one piece when you return.”Greg took the proffered staff and held it out at arm’s length. “What is it?”“A stick,” said Nathan.“I can see that. I mean what does it do?”“It doesn’t do anything. You just hold it while you walk. It helps you balance and hop over puddles and things.”“Really, Greg,” said Lucky. “Haven’t you ever used a walking stick before?”This book is a great read for youngins who are looking for a light adventure on a rainy afternoon. A note to young adult literature enthusiasts, it is definitely written for Greg’s age group and may not appeal to all ages. I guarantee though, your 9-12 year-olds will enjoy his antics and the heaps of trouble he constantly falls into, whether he likes it or not.

[06nwingert · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A combination of Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Chronicles of Narnia and The Hobbit, How to Slay a Dragon is a cute juvenille fantasy. 12-year-old Greg Hart gets beat up in school, but is whisked away to Myrth, a magical land, where it's prophicized that he will defeat Ruaan, the giant, evil dragon. As he travels around Myrth, he encounters a variety of people who help him on his quest, while he doubts his abilities to defeat Ruaan. Bill Allen wrote a wonderful juvenille fantasy. I enjoyed his puns, usually using Greg's last name (Hart) in place of heartand Myrth instead of myth. Just like other fantasy novels, Allen's prophecy only comes true because a character or characters act on it, making it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

[angieanzaldua · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I loved this book it was more than i thought it would be. i loved the chacters and vivid writhing. it woke up my imagination and kept my attention. it is beautifully written and i loved the storyline the plot and i must say i will be reading the next book. my 9 year old loved it she read it faster than i did and she found it to be "very entertaining" she as well cant wait to get her hands on the next one.

[asbiskey · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This is one of the best books for middle grades I have read in a long time. The characters are vividly portrayed, the world of Myrth well thought out and described, and the plot is complex without being difficult to follow. This book bears no reseblance to How to Train Your Dragon by Cressida Cowell, even though the titles sound similar. This book is refreshing and thoughtful. Some of the word play in this reminded me of Jasper Fforde. With the colorful descriptions, this book takes a little longer to read than many in the fantasy genre target at grades 5-8. It is well worth the time. This book transports the reader along with Greg Hart to the wonderful world of Myrth. I was a little disappointed in the way the story wrapped up, but it made sense and was just as well described as the rest of the book, but lacked some of the conflict the book had been leading to.

[dranea_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I love daydreaming about being something I thought I would or could never be: a rockstar, a famous actor, an astronaut, a circus performer, and a hero. We all have had that fantasy where we believe we know exactly how we would act if we were placed in a situation where our fantasies became reality. Greg Hart....poor, poor Greg Hart had no idea that he would not have to just fantasize about what he would do, but he would have to face the most challenging of all the popular fantasies. Greg Hart is a small, well, better say scrawny middle school kid who is always being picked last, beat up, and ignored. He spends his free time writing about exciting adventures in which he defeats trolls and rescues fair maidens in distress. Not only is he not able escape a bully who invades his tree house, but he is also unable to escape a spell that transports Greg into the land of Myrth. Greg Hart soon learns that the people of Myrth have been waiting in anticipation for his arrival. He is a great hero to these people, everyone knows of Greg and his wonderful deeds and all of the wondrous things Greg has accomplished. The only problem is, Greg has not done any of these things yet. He is given a king's treatment and fanfare befitting a glorious hero, but only because a prophecy stated at Greghart from Earth would be slaying a dragon and saving the princess from a horrible fate.Accompanied by Lucky, the luckiest person on Myrth, Greg is sent out on this mission that the entire already expects to be a success because the prophecy said so and prophecies are never wrong. Facing trolls, evil witches, 300 foot tall dragons should be a piece of cake right? With the prophecy on his side and the luckiest person alive, how could anything possibly go wrong? Well, add in the fact Greg doesn't believe in this prophecy any more than he can skin a monkeydog and prophecies don't seem quite as obtainable as one would think. Oh yea, the prophecy was made by a man who appears to have lived longer than the mountains on Myrth and who can only be understood by his wife who is almost completely deaf.....one more thing, the scribe who copied the prophecy is a drunk with atrocious handwriting. I'm all for an adventure with me as the cookable hero...wouldn't you be?? How to Slay a Dragon has a ton of sarcasm in it, something I just happen to be very fond of. You do not go more than a couple of pages without Greg making some sort of remark or humor being thrown in at some point. The humor can be enjoyed by young and old(er) alike. There always seems to be a twist and turn thrown in there as well. The story line seemed to drag for me in several places and I had a hard time keeping from putting the book down and getting a few other things done before returning to the book. Many YA books have a story line that can be engrossing for younger audiences as well as adult readers. This book, I believe, was geared more towards younger readers only. The story is a cute one, but not complex enough to grip an older crowd. The lessons that are taught in this book I believe are strong ones: never give up hope and only you are in charge of your own fate. Greg had an entire planet pushing him to be one thing and to go down a certain path. Greg knew that life and that path was not for him, and he went against the popular ideas and made his own way. Kudos to Greg for knowing who he was and being the best darn Greg he could be!