Chasm: The God Slayers Quartet, #3

By David L Dawson

The third volume in The God Slayer's Quartet, the earth-shattering young adult dystopian series.

 

The journey to London is paved with revelations, betrayals and heartbreak.  Will Ben succumb to Bad Brother's attempts to turn him into a god?  Will the Order of Power catch up with Ben?  And what evil forces are lurking, waiting for the God Cannon to be used?  Everything changes here...

• Language: English
• Publisher: David Dawson
• Release date: Aug 13, 2014
• ISBN: 9781502243737

Book preview

Chapter 1 – New Companions

You want to kill the gods? I exclaim.

Brother Willow continues to stare at me as I digest his words.  This must be some kind of trap.  No Brother of the Order of Power would want to kill the gods, even one as brain damaged as this one.  It’s their duty to find more of their kind to repurpose them into yet more Brothers and Sisters.  They praise the gods.  The gods are their life. Yet there’s this look on Brother Willow’s face, the face and body he stole from my father, Zachary Casper.  It’s a look of desperation mixed with confusion.  There’d been a hint of those types of emotions before at Connor’s house, but now it’s more prominent.  Coming back from the dead really has sent him deranged.

I still don’t trust him.  Trusting him will only bring me more heartache, and I’ve had enough of that to last several lifetimes.

How can I believe you? I ask him against my own better judgment.  You’re not known for telling the truth.

This time I am telling the truth, Brother Willow insists.  I haven’t the energy to lie to you.

Rotter the parrot squawks his disgust from his perch on a nearby apple tree.  Aggie Wells-Rowan nods her head.  The town of Rowan’s former soldier has enough reasons to distrust a Brother, as do I.  I should slit Brother Willow’s throat and bury him so deep in the ground with the worms and the beetles that when he resurrects he can’t come after me again.  Yet, after learning what I did about Mixcoatl and how he’d been controlled by his brother to commit acts of genocide, didn’t I deserve to give this man the benefit of the doubt?  Or was I simply being far too trusting and foolish, just because this man used to be my father?

We should just kill him and leave his body for the crows, Aggie spits.  Her venom is less than subtle.  That’s all a Brother is worth, food for scavengers.  Even then I’d feel sorry for the crows feasting on his brains.

Brains, parrots Rotter.

She looks over at the survivors of the House of Rowan massacre.  They’re huddled together, confused and hurt, in the orchard where they’ve taken refuge.  I see my cousin’s wife, Lyssa, among them.  She is pregnant with his child.  She glances over at me, frightened and worried, but she doesn’t know who I am.  The entire town had been repurposed by the Order before the attack.

I know you’re right, I tell her.  But...

He still has my father’s body, though.  Those eyes watched me as I grew up.  Those hands held me when I fell.  His soothing voice told me, before I was to set out on my Journey, that he was proud of me.  There is nothing left of my father, not any more, but then Sister Faun’s parting words before her death echo in my mind.

They lied...the memories are still there, just sealed away, but they’re coming back! How could I forget my mother, and my sister, and...

As she lay dying, her skin crumbling away to ash, she started to remember who she really was before the Order repurposed her.  That means my father is still in Brother Willow’s body somewhere.  I have to believe that, somehow, I can get him back.  I’ve never been much of an optimist before, but this news has to be celebrated.  It means there is hope.

You don’t have to believe me, says Brother Willow softly.  Let me explain.

Do I have time for this?  I have to catch up with my friends on the way down to London.  Skye, Connor, Aimee, Flynn, and Kar have had a big enough head start on us as it is.  They could be in trouble, or lost, or...

Kar...

I miss him so much it feels like physical pain.  I love Skye like family, and I care for the others like family, but with Kar it’s different.  He feels like he’s a part of me, and every second he’s away from me I’m in agony.  Now I know what my father felt for my mother, or Brian felt for Lottie.  True love can at once be uplifting but simultaneously crushing.

Brother Willow reaches for my hand, but I pull away.

Leave him, says Aggie.  He’s a Brother.

I know that, I protest.  But...

I look into his eyes, and I don’t see the gleeful, murderous intent I saw when Brother Willow fully took over my father’s body.  He looks broken.  I know that look because I’ve seen it too many times in the faces of the Order’s victims.  I know that look because I’ve been broken too.

Fine, I assent.  State your case.

Brother Willow crosses his arms and takes in the devastation of the village of Rowan behind us.  What is he thinking?  Is he wondering who caused such chaos?  Does he have any idea that it’s my fault, that I asked James, the god known as Mixcoatl, to do it?  Nobody can ever know what I did.  Nobody.

He clears his throat and begins.  I know now that the gods are not here to benefit us like I was programmed to believe.  It’s quite painful to admit what has been stenciled onto my very soul, but it’s true.  I’ve died several times, and each time I am resurrected, a part of me feels...gone.  Why would the gods allow that to happen to me?  I’ve been a dutiful Brother.  I’ve done everything they’ve asked of me and more.  I want to look the gods in the eye and demand they tell me why they’re doing this to me before we kill them.

He appears to be genuine, and a part of me clings to the idea that a repentant Brother Willow might act more like the father I loved.  Another helping hand wouldn’t go amiss either.  And if I can find a way to access my father inside that body, then all the better. 

There’s also another matter you haven’t considered in your plans to kill the gods, says Brother Willow.

And what’s that? I ask.

I know the code to the music box, and you do not.

Just when I was beginning to feel a tiny bit of sympathy for him, he has to go and do this.  If he can resort to blackmail then maybe he’s not as deranged as he looks.

We need that code, says Aggie with a long sigh.  She shivers.  I can’t believe I’m actually advocating having that thing come with us.

Someone in London has to know the code too, I say. 

Now I’m as determined as ever not to let this creature accompany us. 

Is that what you’ve been telling yourself? Brother Willow asks me.  Can you really take that chance?

I know he’s got a point.  I know I should take him with us.

You can come with us, I tell him.

Is this wise? Aggie demands.  I see her anger, but I dismiss it.  You saw what the Order and the gods did to the village of Rowan.  They stomped on those poor people like they were insects.

I flinch slightly.  She doesn’t know it was me who destroyed the village.  She never will.

You were just saying he could come a minute ago! I exclaim.

Aggie folds her arms.  I’m confused.

I study Brother Willow again.  I know I’m courting trouble, but I don’t see any way around it.  We need him for the code, and my father is still in there somewhere.  There’s no other choice.

Yes, I say, resolute.  You can come with us.

Aggie sighs, but she accepts my authority.  People looking up to me as a leader is something I am starting to get used to, even if it still makes me a little uncomfortable.  I feel like the mayor I always rebelled against being.

Will he behave? Aggie asks me, though she is looking directly at Brother Willow, who fiddles with the greying beard on his face.  Her eyes are boiling with hatred.  I’ll have to keep an eye on these two.

Brother Willow nods his head and says, I will behave.  I have no reason to betray you now that the gods have betrayed me.

I’ll believe it when I see it, says Aggie.

I can only take his word for it, and that of my own instincts, that he is telling us the complete truth.  I hope in my heart that he is, for I’m not sure I have it in me to kill him again, not now I know there is a chance my father can be saved.

*****

I pick another apple and drop it into a leather bag.  We should have enough fruit for the journey ahead, though I suspect I’ll end up sick of apples after a while.  I could have gone rooting through the wreckage of the town for bread and meats, but I find the idea distasteful.  When I went through the remains of the mayor’s house looking for the music box I was almost sick.

I watch as Aggie reluctantly tends to an injured Sister.  The survivors had only recently been turned before the attack and are confused.  They need help.  Even I’m not that selfish to ignore people in need, even if they are the enemy.

What is to become of us? a voice asks.

It’s Lyssa, my cousin’s wife.  Her hair is a mess, and she’s covered with soot.  She doesn’t appear to be injured, which I’m glad of.  I’m only glad she can’t remember the murder of her husband any more.  The grief she went through at discovering his body almost overwhelmed her.

What do you remember? I ask her, careful.  She is the enemy now, and unpredictable.

I know that I should worship the gods, but that’s about it.  I don’t even know my name or what my purpose is.  She puts her hands on her swollen belly.  And I’m pregnant!  Who’s the father?  What am I supposed to do?  Why isn’t there anyone to guide us?

More Brothers and Sisters from the Order will turn up eventually, I reassure her.  Just stick around until then.

She starts to cry, and I reluctantly pull her into a hug.  How can this wretched thing possibly be my enemy?

I feel a pain slice into my gut.  I know the feeling instantly, having recently just been stabbed by James.

What...

She backs away from me, her trembling hands clutching a bloody knife.  She laughs and drops the weapon.

I know one thing, she hisses, her eyes darting about crazily.  I know I should hurt non-believers, and you’re a non-believer.  I heard you talking.  You want to kill the gods!

I slip to the floor.  I press my hands against my stomach, trying to stem the flow of blood.  My eyelids start to feel heavy.

James, I need help.  You have to heal me again.

I hear shouting around me and Lyssa screaming in pain, but the outside world slowly drains away.  All I know is darkness.

Chapter 2 – Under the Rubble

James, destroy this town and everyone in it.

My words spin around my head like they’re caught in a mighty mind.

Why do you want me to kill everybody? he asks.

They’re the Order of Power, I explain. I sound manipulative, just like Bad Brother.  They’re going to go out and steal people’s minds from them.

So they can serve you, my god, says Sister Faun.  Her words are pious.

James looks horrified as he says, You steal people’s minds so they can worship me? But that’s horrible! You can’t do that!

We do it for you and your fellow god, says Sister Faun.

James appears torn over what to do.  I ignore that and laugh.  He is mine to command.

Do you want the Order to steal people’s minds? I ask him.

No, he says.

I walk up to him and slap him across the face.  It makes me feel mighty, like I can control the world.

This is not like what your brother makes you do, I tell him. This is to help people. By destroying the Order army in this village, you will be doing a good thing.

I don’t like killing people! he cries.

I don’t care, I tell him.  Do it.  Kill them all.

*****

I wake up, feeling the harsh words on my lips.  I feel like I’m falling.  Was I floating in my sleep?  That’s not possible, right?  That doesn’t matter right now.  What does matter is that I didn’t enjoy asking James to destroy Rowan.  I’m not that type of person.  I am not a monster.  I am not a god.

I’m not a monster, I whisper.

Ben? a voice calls.

I try to sit up, but my body feels stiff and my eyes heavy.  I close my eyes again, wanting nothing but to sleep without the bad dreams.  Am I going to think about what I did to Rowan forever?  Do I deserve to be haunted for my actions?

Are you well, Ben? Aggie asks.

I feel her checking me over with her hands, but I don’t take any notice.  I can’t remember what happened to me.  The last thing I recall is talking to a confused Lyssa. 

Your wound is healing nicely now, says Aggie.

I open my eyes again.  What wound?

Aggie sits by me.  She looks different.  Her hair is longer and her face is thinner, gaunter.

You were stabbed, she explains.  We covered up the wound and managed to stop the bleeding, but you blacked out.  We thought you were doing well for a week, but then Brother Willow noticed something.  You caught an infection, and then the wound started to become gangrenous.

Gangrenous.  That doesn’t sound good.

How am I still alive? I ask.

I’d seen people with gangrene before.  They’d either died or had to have the infected part of their body cut off.  I wiggle both my fingers and my toes.  Neither my arms nor legs are missing.

We had to cut out a huge lump of flesh, says Aggie.  It was the only way we could save you.

I understand, I say.  I think about looking at the wound but decide to leave it until later.  It’s probably a grotesque mess.

You got another infection after that, and then another, says Aggie.  We kept treating you over and over again.  It’s only recently that you’ve started to get better.

Why don’t I remember any of this?

You were out of it most of the time, in some sort of deep sleep.  You should be grateful for that.  I don’t think you would’ve been able to stand the pain.

She wipes my brow with some sort of cloth, and then dribbles some water into my mouth from a wooden cup.  I manage to take a look at my surroundings.  I’m in some sort of basement, lying on a small bed made from straw.  There’s a trapdoor above us, half open, letting in a small amount of bright sunlight.  The air smells a little smoky, but other than that it’s warm and comfortable.

Where are we? I ask.

We’re in a basement in one of the houses in Rowan, Aggie explains.  We hid down here when the Order came, and have stayed ever since to help you recover.

Did the Order take the survivors?

Aggie nods her head sadly.

Perhaps it was best for them, I figure.  They were confused.  They needed guidance.

I gasp as pain rips through me.  I remember...

Ben? Aggie asks.  Are you okay?

I shake my head.  I just remembered what happened.  Lyssa stabbed me.

She tried to stab you again, but I stopped her, says Brother Willow.

I didn’t expect to hear his voice again.  If I were ill for so long I would’ve expected him to leave long ago.  Why did he stay?  He could’ve just stolen the music box and gone to London himself.

You killed her? I ask.

She was going to stab you again and again, says Brother Willow.  It was the only way I could stop her.

She was pregnant!

He doesn’t answer me.  I hope he feels ashamed.

*****

I sleep on and off for another two or three days.  On the third day I manage to get to my feet.  I’ve been ill for almost three months.  I need to get back on to my quest.  I need to find my friends.

What are you up to? Aggie demands.

She’s standing on the rickety stairs leading up to the trapdoor.  She has a bucket of water in her hands.

I need to find my friends, I say, walking around in a circle in the confines of the basement, getting my muscles used to movement again.  I have a quest to complete as well, remember?

You’re not ready, says Aggie.

I don’t care, I say.  I can’t be idle any longer.

You haven’t been idle.  You’ve been ill.

I try to keep my brain active too.  I recite to myself over and over the letter that Uncle Rooster left for me, the one that started me on my journey to London in the first place.

Dear Ben.  Forgive my handwriting, as I’m doing this in a hurry before any of you get back from getting firewood, but I need you to know what Harold told me. You see, he wasn’t dead when I found him. He was near it but not in the grave just yet.  He told me I had to continue his quest to find the God Cannon.  Now that quest falls to you. You have to seek out Esther Queen in London. I know I can count on you.  Love, Uncle Rooster.

I think about my uncle again, which brings me to my mother and my uncles and my cousin, Milo.  I don’t think I’ll ever be able to imagine a life without them.  I can try, but there will always be part of me missing without them around.

Was your uncle killed the in the attack? Aggie asks me.

No.  Brother Willow killed him.

She looks at Brother Willow before she says, You must hate him.  He...he did a lot of bad things.

That’s because he’s a bad person.

Aggie is about to say something when I hear an explosion from somewhere up above.  The three of us tense.  Aggie drops her bucket, letting its contents splash all over the concrete floor.

Wait there, she commands.

She rushes up the steps and closes the trapdoor behind her, plunging me into candle lit darkness.  I creep up the stairs carefully and push open the wooden door slightly.  When I peek out I see nothing but rubble.

Keep your head down, Brother Willow shouts, rushing up to me.  Aggie is with him.  They look frightened.

What is it? I ask them.

There’s a small army of Brothers and Sisters and a tank, Aggie explains, leading me back into the basement.  They’re demolishing any buildings that were left standing during the attack.

She closes and bolts the trapdoor behind her.

Why would they do that? I ask her.

They’re insane, says Brother Willow.

You’re one of them, I remind him.

I beg to differ, Brother Willow answers.  A Brother would have killed you while you slept.

I know he has a point, but I still want to punch him.  I’d love to tell him my father is still in his head somewhere, just waiting to be released, but if I did that he really might make a run for it.  I need him here with me.  I may hate him, but I need him.

The noise above seems to last for a lifetime.  Dust rains from the ceiling of the basement, and Aggie grips my arms with terror.  I expect to be showered in rock at any moment and buried alive.  I put my hands over my ears to try and drown it out, but I can’t.  It reminds me of the death of my House, and the disturbing memories it brings back make me want to scream with grief. 

Why are they doing this? Aggie asks us.  Are they really just knocking down all those buildings because they’re insane?

The three of us are sat on top of the bed.  We haven’t got anything to shelter ourselves under should the ceiling collapse, so we decide to just wait it out and hope we’re left undisturbed.

I think it more likely they’re demolishing the city so they can rebuild it from scratch, I reason.  They have better technology for building houses than the people of Rowan ever did.

I suppose all those Brothers and Sisters have to live somewhere, says Brother Willow.

There’s probably little Order towns everywhere now, says Aggie, visibly trying to stop her voice from trembling.  How are normal everyday people supposed to fight them?

They can’t, I say.

How are we supposed to fight them? Aggie asks me.  How does killing the gods stop the Order?

I’ve thought about this before.  Killing the gods could make the Order more fanatical, or it could force them to give up.  It’s highly likely they’ll just stop repurposing the world, so the only choice left is to deal with them separately.

Isn’t there something you could do, Willow? Aggie asks.

She’s calling him Willow?

There’s nothing I can do, Brother Willow states.  I’m not one of them anymore.

*****

I wake up a while later.  I’m on my straw bed, feeling fitter than I’ve felt in a long time.  The trapdoor is open, letting in blazing sunshine.  Aggie and Brother Willow are nowhere to be seen.  Rotter is perched on the old sideboard, cleaning his wing, oblivious of my presence.

How long have I slept this time? I ask him.

He ignores me, but I smile anyway.  I walk up to him, deciding to try a few questions.

Have you spoken to Skye recently? I ask.

Skye! Rotter squawks.

Where is Skye? I ask.

Skye! he repeats, before going back to his bath.

This is useless.  When Skye’s not controlling him, all he has is his normal bird brain, which isn’t up to much.  Where are Skye, Kar, and Connor now?  Could they be down in London already, or have they gone on another course entirely?  I wouldn’t blame them if they gave up the quest.  They didn’t have the music box, and they might not have wanted to continue it without me.

I climb steadily up the steps and into the outside.  Smoke gathers all around me like mist, and I have to cover my mouth to stop from gagging. I can’t even see the sky.  I feel that I’m standing in a mass graveyard.

You shouldn’t be out here breathing in all this smoke, Aggie tells me from behind, shocking me by her sudden presence.  Get back inside.

You sound like my mother, I tell her.

She sounds like a smart woman.

I head back into the basement, and Aggie follows.  She shuts the trapdoor behind her.

What were you doing up there? I ask her.

I was looking for food, but we’ve run out, she answers.  She sits on a wooden barrel and scrapes back her hair from her face.  We need to set out again if we want to survive.

We’re going to London.

It’s not a question but a statement.

She looks at me seriously before saying, Yes.  We’re going to London.  I’d forgotten how bossy you could be.

I grin.  I like being bossy.  It’s what my father would have wanted.

She feeds Rotter a few grains she pulls out of her pocket.  She looks harassed and tired.

What’s it like up there? I ask.

It’s like the town was never even here, she says sadly.  It’s true that they’re building another city here.

How do you know that? I ask, curious.

She looks uncomfortable for a moment.  Willow talked to a few Brothers that were left behind.  They didn’t know that he’s not one of them anymore, and they pretty much told him everything.

So the Order knows we’re here?

We have to get out of here before they call reinforcements.  Sister Faun may be gone, but I’m sure the Order still wants me dead.  They know I plan to kill the gods, and they can’t allow that.

The trapdoor opens, and Brother Willow climbs down.  He’s splattered with blood.

You killed them? I ask him.

I had to, says Brother Willow.

What else did they say? Aggie asks him.

They’re demolishing the villages they repurpose and building new technologically advanced colonies on them.  Do you remember Fowl, the village above the Order base?

I nod.  I’m hardly likely to forget the place I first met Connor and Aimee and where Dylan died.

That village is gone, and there’s another one being built in its place.

What about the base?  Dylan blew up the entrance.

They’ve gotten back into the base.  It’s fully functional again.

Damn it.  I was hoping Dylan had permanently shut that place down.  He died for nothing.  He may have saved me, but his death should have had more meaning.  He deserved more.

Is there...is there any news of my brother? I ask, hesitant.  Do I want to know if he’s really dead or not?

A lot of Brothers and Sisters were incinerated in the explosion, says Brother Willow.  They don’t have a record of all the dead yet.

I sigh.  There’s no way Dylan could have survived such an explosion, and yet...

*****

We leave the destroyed village behind.  I can’t look back for fear of my guilt crippling me.  I still don’t know whether I did the right thing.  I was angry at the time, and my anger ended up causing horrific damage.  I could tell myself that one less Brother or Sister in the world is a good thing, especially with the crusade going on, but I still ordered their deaths.

I’m just like Bad Brother.

I banish the thought from my mind.  I’m nothing like Robert, who James nicknamed Bad Brother.  He ordered James to kill for his own sick reasons that I still don’t know about.  I asked James to destroy the village for me, to stop the Order in their tracks.  There had been no coercion involved.

Do you think this God Cannon thing can really kill the gods? Aggie asks casually.  She is only a few years older than me, but she’s so tall it feels like I’m looking up into the sky when I talk to her.

I don’t know, I admit.  But a lot of people had faith that it could, and I had faith in them.

Aggie stops and turns around.  Smoke spirals from the still burning village into the sky. The fields around it are still growing, are still abundant with life and vitality, but nobody will tend them again.

To lose one home is bad luck, but to lose two...  Aggie grits her teeth.  Her hands are visibly shaking.  Am I to forever find somewhere I can settle down only for it to be taken from me?

Aggie had been banished from her former home in Whitby for killing a group of Brothers and Sisters.  She’d only done it to protect her family, but the village elders had branded her a murderer and ordered her to leave.

I’ve asked myself the same question many times, I admit.

I look at the village.  I’m sick of the smell of death.  It haunts me.

She smiles sadly.  I will miss this place.  They took me in and gave me a home.  I had a purpose here.

You have a purpose now, I tell her.  You’re now a god slayer.

She smiles hopefully down at me.  I’m a god slayer now?  I kind of like the sound of that.

We walk away and leave the village I destroyed behind forever.

*****

Half an hour later, we come to a fork in the dirt road.  In the grass by the side is a rusted car, overgrown with vegetation.  A badger pops its head out from inside and glares at me.  I look into its eyes and see innocence and wonder there, but I stab out with my knife before it can react.  I kill it in an instant.

I yank the dead badger out of the car and hold it aloft by its back legs.  Badger meat is quite tough, but it will feed us. 

Which way? Aggie asks.

I start packing away the dead badger inside a cloth as I say, Directly south.  I managed to find my map and backpack in the rubble of the mayor’s mansion, and I know London is down south.  We can ask for directions if we get lost.

I think we’re already lost, Aggie admits.

I ignore her as I place the wrapped badger in my backpack.  I’m about to carry on when I notice Rotter is pecking at something on the ground by the old car.  He’s probably after worms or insects.

Rotter! the parrot cries again, looking at me.

I have a sudden suspicion, and say, Have you possessed Rotter’s body, Skye?  Is that you?

The parrot ignores me and begins pecking away at a stone on the ground again.