The Fall

By David L Dawson

The first book in The God Slayers Quartet, a young adult series set in a dystopian future Earth ruled over by warring gods, cat people and a tyrannical religious cult.

Young Ben Casper lives in an old shopping mall with his family.  He must contend with growing up, falling in love, and losing friends, as well as becoming embroiled in a plot to kill the gods that could put everyone he cares about in mortal danger...

For fans of The Hunger Games and Delirium, The Fall is a fast paced tale of unrequited love, responsiblity and defiance.  

• Language: English
• Publisher: David Dawson
• Release date: Apr 17, 2013
• ISBN: 9781497740679

Book preview

The Fall

The God Slayers Quartet, Volume 1

David L Dawson

Published by David Dawson, 2013.

This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.

THE FALL

First edition. April 17, 2013.

Copyright © 2013 David L Dawson.

ISBN: 978-1497740679

Written by David L Dawson.

Also by David L Dawson

The Blood Dynasty Chronicles

The Girl From Yesterday

The Streets Are Paved With Blood

Masks

Movie Night

New Whitby

The First Vampire

Shadow of the Snow Queen

The God Slayers Quartet

The Fall

Chasm

Standalone

The Blood Dynasty Chronicles - Volume One Boxset

Beautiful Skye (A novella prequel to The Fall)

The Book of Fire Trilogy Boxset

Table of Contents

The Fall (The God Slayers Quartet, #1)

1

Dedicated to my mother, Suzanne Dawson.  She's put up with a lot over the years.

Prologue – The Savage Skies

I hear something in a stand of bushes not ten meters away. I stop in my tracks, tense. There is a curious smell, invading my nostrils. My heart starts to beat faster. I clench my hands into fists and mentally berate myself for my carelessness. It’s just been raining. It is wet fur I can smell.

Felum, I breathe in terror. My body refuses to move. There is a knife tucked inside the sock on my left foot. There is another in one of the many pockets in my jacket. I’m not sure where my slingshot is; maybe I left it at the trading station, or could it be in another pocket?

There is a piercing yowl and something leaps out of the bushes at me. It is a tall striking figure wearing old tanned, leather clothing and thick boots. Black, silky fur lines its face and hands and its head is that of a panther somehow fused with that of a human. Its hands, five fingered, are sharp ivory white claws, stained with blood. Those claws are going to rip into me, and those sharp teeth are going to devour me and all I will be able to do is stand there.

The Felum is mere inches from me when I whip my fisted hand out and punch it in the face. It screeches more in surprise than in pain as it flies backwards and lands on a bed of weeds. It moves around, dazed, before its angry, green eyes turn to look up at me in a sort of wounded wonder.

Hurt, the Felum whispers.

I bend down and pull the knife out from the sheath strapped to my ankle. It is newly sharpened, the blade glinting wickedly in the bright light of the day. I want the Felum to know it isn’t worth attacking me a second time, that if it did, it would end up losing its life. I’m not sure I could actually kill it, though. It may only be a Felum but it still looks, more or less, vaguely human.

We continue to stare at each other, the human and the human/panther creature. The Felum appears to be male, judging by the clothes he is wearing. There is a scar running down his left ear and some sort of golden medallion shaped like a circle hanging from a necklace looped around his furry neck. I’m quite fascinated. I have never had the chance to see a Felum so close before.  The Felum would have killed me by now if it were going to.  All he did was crouch there, seemingly equally fascinated with me as I was with him.

The Felum makes a strange yip noise and jumps to its feet. I can hear the noise still, like a sort of loud trilling, that pours from his mouth. The fur on his bare arms seems to be standing on end. Something has frightened him. Is it me?  I don’t think so. I’m hardly much of a threat to him.

See, says the Felum. He is looking upwards.

The sky is blue like my mother’s eyes, not a cloud in sight. The sun is high, blazing away, even though it is mid-winter and the tips of my fingers and toes are feeling the chill. There isn’t anything there. There hasn’t been a sighting of the gods in this part of the country for two years, so I know it couldn’t be that.

I’m wrong.

Hide! screams the Felum. Hide! What do I do?  The Felum still frightens me. When I hear a sonic boom almost knock me onto my back, I look my opponent in the eye. He pounces forward again, and I get ready to attack when his body collides with mine. The force of his body pushes us both from the path of a speeding blur that crashes through the trees.  A swirl of leaves, grass and branches, and even small mammals are pulled along in its wake like a vacuum, left to tumble to the ground when the force tugging it leaves them. I can hear screams of incandescent immortal rage; the sounds of forest animals furious against the destruction of their warm habitats; the deep purr of the Felum as his body presses against mine, holding me in the dirt so I wouldn’t move and reveal our presence. He has saved my life. A Felum has saved my life.

We look into each other’s eyes. His breath smells of something rotting and awful and I can’t help but be disgusted. The Felum grunts and gets off me, starts patting down his leather clothes to get rid of muck and dust. I stand up and do the same.

We conceal ourselves under the bough of a small silver tree as we listen to the fight that rages on above us. I can’t make out much of it, especially not through the branches of the tree. All I can see is two figures in the sky, punching and kicking each other with such violence. 

Gods... the Felum breathes in awe.

I look at the humanoid cat and can’t help but grin. The Felum are a savage and bloodthirsty race, but this one looks as meek as a kitten when faced with something so powerful and eternal.

As quickly as they’d arrived, demolishing the forest and creating permanent paths through the trees, the two fighting titans leave the skies above us to continue the battle elsewhere. I’m glad. If they’d seen me then surely I would have been killed.

The god who spun like a tornado, and the god with the blue hair. I’ve seen them and I’m still alive.

You are scared, says the Felum.

I ignore him. I don’t want him to know any of my feelings. I don’t want to show any weakness.

I am scared, the Felum admits.

I shake as the Felum puts his clawed hand on my arm. He gives me a smile, revealing very human-like teeth. He then removes his hand and makes a sprint for the bushes.  As I watch him disappear into the undergrowth I dare to consider myself quite lucky. To escape sudden death, twice, within a five minute span is more than lucky; it’s a miracle.

PART ONE - THE GLASS PALACE

Chapter 1 – The House of Casper

The sign pasted on the red door declares House of Casper; knock for admittance.  I consider knocking, but decide against it. They know I’m due. I shouldn’t have to declare myself. Then again, I have been away for seven months, far longer than I was supposed to. I could be anyone; an untrustworthy trader or a caravan carrying the purple plague.

I sigh, drop my backpack onto the yellow weeds that sprout up out of the ground, and knock loudly on the door. The air is crisp, clear and cold.  I can hear a buzz of activity coming from further inside the House. How I’d missed that noise, though strangely, I wasn’t really looking forward to being immersed again.  I’d been on my own for so long, with nothing but my own thoughts. It might be difficult to readjust to a House life.

There are metal bangs from behind the thick steel door, a loud chaos of noise and voices swearing loudly. I can’t help but smile. He’s such a clumsy sod sometimes; trips over anything and everything.

I’m coming! the voice complains. I’m coming... Who put that bike there?  I could’ve fallen down and broken my leg!

There is more clanging, and the door is unlocked and slowly opened, accompanied by much wheezing and groaning from both man and door.

You sure took your sweet time, moans Uncle Rooster. Your mother and father have been worried sick about you!  They were almost on the verge of sending out a search party!

Rooster’s bearded face is peppered with some sort of white powder. I imagine that Mother has been teaching him how to bake again. When I’d left he’d been trying to impress a lady with his culinary prowess, though his skill in that area is somewhat of a disaster.

I had trouble with a Felum, some Gaggles and the gods, I admit. I hardly dared to even say the word god for fear of retribution from the skies, but thankfully nothing happens.

Rooster laughs. They haven’t been seen around here in years!

I could hardly mistake them for pigeons, now could I?

It has been known. Well, after supping some of my home brewed beer, anyway.

I cross my arms, impatient. Can I come in then?

You’re serious about the gods?

I wouldn’t lie about a thing like that.

Rooster makes an aristocratic sweeping gesture with his hands. I ignore him, give him a hug, and follow him inside. The air smells familiar and comforting and I feel warm already, even though I can still see the mist from my breath. It’s good to be home.

Home is a gargantuan edifice of metal structures, domes, walkways and glass panels. In fact, there is so much glass that the place is called The Glass Palace.  Sure, some of the glass has been broken through accidents and sonic booms caused by the gods as they sweep by on their never-ending struggle, but overall about three-quarters of the building are either fully intact or just marred by a few hairline cracks. There is a glassmaker who lives a few miles away in the House of Rowan but he’s very expensive and we can’t really afford his services except when it is a dire emergency. Mayor Rowan and Father don’t get along that well, I recall. I think there was a punch-up of some kind.

In olden times, The Glass Palace had been some sort of two-level, super-sized trading station. Relics from that time are still visible. They are scattered around either piled up in the basement or used as furniture. Faded signs hang on the walls, though most of them are unreadable. Attempting to guess the names of the traders could create a popular children’s game. My best friend, Skye, was a professional at that; she had such a silly imagination.

The banner over my own home inside the House is the only one left that is legible; it reads Marks and Spencer. It had sold various items of clothing and other odds and ends. Most of the clothing has either been traded or worn out centuries ago, though there was a rumor that a tribe down South collected Marks and Spencer clothes. Ancient stories said that there had been many items of luxurious food left behind as well, but they had all been consumed centuries ago.

The Glass Palace is huge, comprised of many family units (I don’t know the exact number). Mine is the central unit, mainly because my father is the mayor. His three siblings didn’t mind the least; it was less work for them. Not that they had a choice in the decision.  The first-born was always the mayor. In all earnestness, my father was the best man for the job. He is fair minded, compassionate, and fiercely protective of everyone under his roof. He would keep us all safe; his brothers, sisters and their spouses—no matter the dangers intruded upon us.

Father is waiting for us at the top of the stairs that lead toward my home. It’s wonderful to see him again after all this time.  It delights me to see his pale white skin and immaculate goatee, the wrinkles around his hazel eyes and his white hair tied back into a ponytail. My father is my hero. I want to be just like him when I grow up. Of course, I will be.  I will be mayor when he dies, as I am the only child. But my deeds and my actions are what count. Anyone can inherit a House.

Welcome home, Ben! Father announces. His voice is rough, like the roar of a large animal. Glad to see you’re unhurt.

He gives me a hug. I expect he’s been worried sick these past few months. It had been the first time I’d been allowed out on a trading mission, sort of like a rites of passage thing I had to do when I turned fourteen. Everyone simply called it the Journey.  Even though everyone went on a Journey, it was doubly important I do well in mine. After all, I am the mayor’s son.  I understood his anxiety about not wanting to let me go; my brother had been killed on his first trading mission. He was terrified of losing another child.

A few scratches, Father observes. Your hair’s a tad scraggly, and you’re looking mighty thin. Are you sure you ate enough?  And look at how you’ve grown!  By my reckoning, you’ve shot up another couple of inches!  Soon you’ll be as tall as me, my boy!

I hope so.

Father is the second tallest person I’d ever met, nearly six and a half feet. His towering height alone could be enough to intimidate troublemakers. True, the shaman in the House of Felix had been taller, but he was also mad, so he didn’t count.

I think you need to see your mother next, states Father with a smile.

I was going to but I wanted to unpack first.

See your mother first, that’s an order.

I sigh. I could hardly disobey my father, could I?

The shop where our home was based has had its four entrances boarded up bar two; the top floor’s front and back doors. I’m coming in through the back door. Next to the doorway itself is a small potted plant that hadn’t been there when I’d left, some kind of yellow, willowy fern, and a wheelbarrow that Father or one of his siblings must have left there. Mother would probably have a few words with Father about the mud and the clutter later.

The door, made from a large sheet of thick, worn out, blue plastic, is wide open. I’m not sure that’s wise, even though the penalty for thieving from another family is banishment. Maybe I am a little wearier of the world.

I go inside, only to be greeted by the sound of toddlers laughing and giggling. The sudden cacophony of sounds is a shock to my ears; I hadn’t realized children were so loud. Or maybe they’d always been that noisy and I was used to the serenity of just my own thoughts. It still feels wonderful to be home, though.

I sniff as I round a corner in the hall. Mother must be cooking something. Cow? Dog? Or maybe rat?  Whatever it is, it makes me smile in remembrance. Mother can cook anything and make it taste divine. I’ve missed that. All I’d had on my Journey was dried strips of meat and whatever I could scavenge on the way, usually squirrels and wild cabbage. Sure, there’d been the odd House or village able to give me a loaf of bread but somehow they just weren’t the same.

Ben! shouts a squeaky voice.

I almost trample on something as I round a corner. Standing in front of me is a little boy, no older than five, with black curly hair and a face peppered with freckles. His fingers are covered in some kind of yellow stuff, and his bright blue eyes are regarding me with childlike innocence. I smile and kneel down on the floor, giving him a hug. He is my young cousin, Milo, the closest thing I have to a sibling, now that both my brother and sister are dead.

Have you brought me back anything? Milo asks, clutching at my leg, staring into my eyes. He never blinks. Maybe he thinks I’ll vanish if he did.

I did find something that you might like, I say, rummaging around in my backpack. Where did I put it?  Maybe it dropped out during the scuffle with the Felum?

Found it! I declare, pulling from my bag the prize. In a way I’m sad to part with it.  It is a curious item, but I figured it will bring more happiness to Milo.

What is it? Milo cries, his body dancing in excitement.

I place the gift in his hands, expecting giddy cries of astonishment. Milo just stares at it, a little out of breath. I don’t know what he is waiting for.

What does it do? he asks carefully.

It doesn’t do anything. It’s a book.

I don’t like books, Milo sulks. They smell funny and you can’t eat them.

I open the book to a random page somewhere in the middle; faded, but still legible, pictures are clearly visible, along with word balloons and lots of vibrant primary colors. It looks interesting enough that I wished I’d saved it for myself now.

It’s got pictures in it, I say, trying to get my tiny cousin interested. See?  You like to look at pictures.

Milo’s bottom lip quivers and his eyes begin to water. He is on the verge of a tantrum. Children who cried when they didn’t get their own way was something I hadn't missed. Milo is a sweet kid but he could be a pain sometimes. I was sure I hadn’t been like that when I was his age.

Take it home and read it, I suggest. Then tell me later if you didn’t like it. I promise I’ll let you swap it for something else of mine. Deal?

Milo’s tantrum slowly evaporates. Deal!

You run along now while I go and see your Aunty Jill. I bet she’s been worried about me.

She has! Milo shoots back as he hurries away, waving the book over his shoulder. I can’t help but see something of myself in him. I’d always had a fascination for strange objects that were brought in from the outside world.

I halt a moment outside the kitchen. Mother had been worried I wouldn’t come back alive. After a stern word from Father she had backed down, even though he too had been a little doubtful of my chances of survival. In the end, Mother hadn’t even waved me a goodbye. She hadn’t wanted to look into my eyes. She feared it would be the last time she saw her only surviving son and couldn’t bear the pain of watching me walk towards an obvious death. I understood her fear, but I had triumphed and returned. Up until the strange incident with the gods and the Felum, my Journey had been relatively event free. Still, I was back in one piece, and would be recognized as a man by the House now, and I felt a sudden pride fill me with strength. I am a man. That would take some getting used to. I wondered when I would start shaving. I wanted a goatee just like my father.

So you’re back.

Her tone of voice wasn’t lost on me. It was surprise, almost wonderment. That voice held a sudden happiness. It did dent my confidence, though, to know she hadn’t expected to see me alive again.

How are you doing? mother asks. I mean, how are you really doing?

I got through it all fine. There’s not one scratch on me.

Mother was a woman of small stature but high temper. She always vied to have the last word in an argument, her cooking and baking was unsurpassed in the region, and she was the only person in the world who could tell father what to do.  She was sometimes bossy and intimidating, but she was also the most compassionate of us all. In fact, she was like a mother to the entire House, not just to me.

Were you ever in danger?

Not once, I lied. It was a little dull.

I want to tell her how I had exceeded against all odds, how I fought the Felum in pitched battle and avoided a macabre death from gods and starvation... but I can’t. I will never tell her what really happened. All she needs to know is that I am back. I hug her, and I cry, and pretend like I’ve never been away.

Chapter 2 – Homemade Beer and New Perceptions

The House of Casper celebrated my return with a feast. I’m not used to such luxury, especially after living on meager rations for so long, but I enjoyed it immensely. Mother and the other cooks had done wonders in such a short space of time, and I’m impressed. The garlic-roasted sheep is particularly juicy; and the baked ham and potatoes are divine.

There are seventy-three members of the House of Casper, including myself, packed around the large table in the center of the aisle. Each one is eating like it was their last meal as they gobble food quickly and talk with their mouths full. Most of it is trivial, rude, and boring but they are my family and it’s wonderful to catch up on how their lives are going.

Shirley, the cow, gave birth to twins and they both survived! says John Casper, my father’s younger brother. How miraculous is that?  Of course then Shirley herself got stolen. I bet it was someone from the House of Rowan, those thieving god-spawn!

My Delia had a miscarriage, poor little thing, but she’s pregnant again now! says Molly Thames-Casper delightedly. We’re hoping for a boy.

I want a girl, Delia states.

Can someone pass me the ham? says Skye. She gives me a strange wink. She’s been trying to get my attention all evening but so far I haven’t been able to get a word in.

Some imbecile from the Order of Power tried to get in the front door, but we set the guard-goat on him! says Father, setting the whole table off laughing. I want to put my hands over my ears because the noise is so deafening, but I’m slowly getting more used to it. I have to. This will be my home now until the day I die.

Why does that bother me so much?  I’d only been out in the world for seven months but I’d enjoyed every minute of it. Being home feels familiar and safe, but there isn’t an edge to it. Is this all there was to it?  I will stay here until Father dies, take over as mayor, marry, have children, and die. That was how it worked. That was how it had always worked, right back to the very first mayor, the man who created this House just after the gods destroyed most of the planet.

Are you alright, son? Father asks.

I finish eating a piece of tender meat and say, It just feels weird to be back. I’ve been on my own for so long, and it’s so quiet out there. There’s hardly any noise at all!  Did you feel like this when you went out into the world for the first time?

We all feel like that the first time, it’s only natural, says Father. I can’t help but notice Milo, sitting between his parents, eyes consumed in the book I had given him. He appears to be thoroughly absorbed.

Does it ever go away? I ask.

You get used to it when life steadies into a regular beat. You go out, you return, you go out, and you return. What matters is what’s waiting for you when you get back. I had your mother, my three children, and a large House to keep in order. I had plenty to keep me occupied. One day you’ll have all these things too, and you’ll be just as happy as I am.

Father certainly did look happy. He was always happy. But that is the problem. It’s obvious my dear father is hiding a lot of pain. He’s lost two children and that alone would ruin anyone. Jill was my father’s second wife as well. His first, a woman whose name I never knew, had died before I was born. Father has seen nothing but death his entire life. I don’t want to marry and have children, only to see them get taken away from me. I don’t want to live a life all alone.

I don’t want to be mayor, I blurt out.

But Father doesn’t hear me. He is talking to Uncle Rooster and his girlfriend, a loud, red-haired woman called Rosa. Maybe father is right. At the moment I am confused, but it will pass. Later on I would settle into a routine and do all the things I was supposed to. I hoped that it would come true. I don’t like feeling that the life I am supposed to lead is making me feel this way.

Then I feel a warm hand touch my shoulder. It’s mother. She looks concerned.

I heard you, she whispers.

I didn’t mean to say it out loud. I feel ashamed.

It’s okay. Try to take one day at a time.

I’ll try, I say. I mean it. If this is the life I am supposed to live then so be it. I look around the table at my family. Some are related by blood, others are just taking on the House name to gain shelter from the outside world. One day they will all look to me for leadership and protection. They would need me to survive. I couldn’t help feeling a little resentment at that.

The merriment continues for far longer than is necessary. A roast donkey is carted out, dripping in juices and roasted carrots; alcohol is drunk in copious amounts, and all the adults become quite drunk, myself included. Now that I am a man of fourteen, I am allowed to drink Uncle Rooster’s infamous secret recipe beer, and it tastes good. And as the night wears on, and my head spins faster and faster as I drink more and more beer, I feel happy. It may be the alcohol talking but I find myself laughing at dirty jokes and singing and dancing on the table. My head lives in a world of ecstasy.

I am about to pour my sixth, or maybe seventh, pint of beer when I hear someone shout Ben, tell us about your Journey!

Seventy-two pairs of tired and drunk eyes all turn toward me (for second-cousin Gwen just the one eye; she had lost it to a starving raven some years before). I’m good at telling stories, and I knew this moment would come. The House would want to know what I’d accomplished during my first venture outside. Where should I start?  I couldn’t reveal what had happened with the gods and the Felum, though. I don’t want to upset Mother.

And don’t leave out the bit with the gods! Uncle Rooster roars.

I sigh. I can almost feel mother’s anxiety wash over me. Now that she knows, I might as well tell the whole story and leave nothing out. I just hope I can reassure her I was in no real danger at the time.

I take a small swig of beer to calm my nerves, take a deep breath, clear my throat, and begin. And because I am in high spirits, buoyed by the attention and the alcohol, I may have embellished the tale a bit. I didn’t consider the effect my story would have on my parents, only that I tell an entertaining tale for my eager audience. So the journey out was fraught with danger at every turn. Every night spent camping in the open air was a struggle for survival, my stay at the House of Reed was almost akin to a kidnapping and forced enslavement, and my narrow death by gods, a thing of legend. If I forgot to mention being rescued by a Felum, it was just a mere oversight. After all, would they really believe it anyway?  The Felum were the enemy of humans.

...and when the gods, Tornado and Blue Hair, were gone, streaking away like thunder to continue their eternal struggle elsewhere, that was when I was presented with another test to my manhood. A Felum...no, four Felum appeared out of the bushes.

There is a rush of gasps at this announcement. I sure do like an audience. Why had I been so apprehensive about telling a story?  It was easy.

I could see the look in their eyes as they watched me; they wanted me dead. I hadn’t encroached on their territory or done anything to them but they saw me as a threat and a meal. I knew at that moment that my days on this planet were over. What hope could I have against five Felum armed with spears?  They would take me and eat me alive, just like they do to any human they catch.

What did you do? Milo asks. The book is still clutched in his tiny hands, but his eyes are solely on me.

I slam my fists down onto the table, making everyone jump.

"I took out my slingshot and loaded it with a ball bearing. They roared and charged at me. I looked the pack leader in the eye, pulled back the slingshot and fired. The

Reviews for The Fall

[jonxangela · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

The Fall by David L. Dawson is a post-apocalyptic tale featuring young teenager Ben as the narrator. This coming of age read follows Ben as he faces both adolescent and adult issues, such as grappling with his sexuality and realizing that he does not want to be Mayor, even though it is his family legacy to rise to the post. Ben often comes off as a typical teenager, sometimes apathetic and naive, but shows subtle bravery in dealing with his sexuality and other growing pains. The book itself was an easy read, yet lacks in true climax.

[wnk1029_1 · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

The description of this book promised a post-apocalyptic coming-of-age story in which a boy is trained for his responsibilities of Mayor over a town of survivors in a dying world, and in which a conspiracy threatens the lives of everyone he loves. I tend to enjoy YA literature and dystopian/post-apocalyptic fiction, so I was excited to receive a free ebook copy from the author to review, and dove into the book right away. My initial excitement soon wore off, though, and I struggled to complete the entire book, putting it down at least three times without any intention of picking it up again. It was only because I thought the author deserved a fair review that I completed it, and I'm glad I did, since I finally (well over the halfway point) came across the conspiracy and interesting plot points the book's summary promised. Despite this, I still can't give the book more than one star, for the following reasons...Grammatical errors - I understand this was an ARC, and I normally don't mind passing on info about typos or other errors in these early copies, but the errors were so blatant and so numerous that after a dozen or so I gave up on keeping track of them. It made me wonder if this book had even seen an editor; these errors should have been caught. The most obvious ones tended to fall into one of these categories:- Extra end marks -- Irritatingly, in the ebook copy there seemed to be extra end marks to every single sentence, so each one ended with at least two periods instead of just one. I thought it was simply adding in extra periods, except there were some cases where a sentence would end with both a comma and ellipses, or a comma and a semicolon. This made it very difficult to read.- Run-on sentences: "It is definitely a Felum that much I can tell..."- Inconsistent capitalization -- At times the titles "Mayor," "Father," and "Mother" are capitalized, and other times they are not.- Inconsistent pronouns when referring to Felum -- At times, the Felum that Ben met is referred to as "he" and sometimes as "it," sometimes even within the same paragraph or sentence: "I at least owe him something, even if that is defending it against father."- Missing words: "They didn't care for their animals as much my tribe did." "There is an iron on a nearby table with friend blood on it and have to stop myself from throwing up." "I had stop by a cell..." "Dylan must've already that he wouldn't be able to..." "Do it for me; do it the House..." etc.- Spacing errors -- At times, a paragraph is broken in half, with the quotation in one paragraph, and the rest of the sentence (beginning "he said" or "mother said" etc.) is in a new paragraph.- Incorrect words -- There are cases where the wrong word entirely is used (good/well, whom/who, like/liken, they/themselves) and a handful of other cases where the wrong homophone was used in a sentence (its/it's, brake/break)- Subject/Verb disagreement -- This is one of my grammar pet peeves, and I nearly quit reading the book simply because of the repeated incorrect verb forms. For instance: "I don't care what her and her nasty boyfriend thinks." The subject is "her and her nasty boyfriend," which is plural, so the verb should be plural as well -- "think," not "thinks." Other instances of this error: "There is four of them..." "How is the wedding plans..." "A bit further away... is Brian and Lottie." "...seventy people lived and was happy." etc.Vocabulary/"Voice" - The narrator is a fourteen-year-old boy, and though at times I felt the "voice" of the novel seemed even younger than that, the overall reading level probably would fit a fifth- or sixth-grade reading level. At times, however, the author would throw in a five-dollar word like "lachrymose" that would stick out like a sore thumb, inconsistent with the voice of the narrator or the reading level of the rest of the novel. This was in stark contrast to the language of the dialogue, which my husband -- reading over my shoulder at one point -- described as trite and shallow. I had to agree; the dialogue seemed incredibly forced, alternating awkwardly between very formal language "I shall have to leave" and modern teen phrases like "as if."Unlikable characters - I can cut the protagonist some slack, since he is supposed to be a young, teenage boy, but when I can find only one likable character in the entire story (Mother), I tend not to be as invested in the rest of them or care what happens to them.- Ben (the antagonist) lies, schemes, sneaks around, mopes and pouts, loses his temper, kisses a married man (and then smugly refuses to apologize to this man's wife), beats up another boy, slaps a girl, and basically acts like a spoiled three-year-old throughout most of the book. His obsession with Brian is completely unfounded (he pretty much had one conversation with him and decided he was in love), and when it is unrequited, he spends most of the rest of the book stewing and moping and scheming and blaming Brian for not picking him over Lottie. Ben's immaturity in this matter irritated me, and it annoyed me that so much of the story revolved around this subplot.- The women characters are particularly irritating. Skye is obnoxious and ditzy; Rosa is conniving and adulterous; and Lottie is shallow and completely clueless. Lottie's behavior when she thinks she may be pregnant is simply unrealistic -- telling an acquaintance like Ben about it before telling her family? Not remembering that she's due in November, not June?Awkward sexual references - I understand that in a coming-of-age novel, there may be some sexual references, but the ones in this book were the most awkward and out-of-place ones I had ever read. The first half of the book seemed to revolve around Ben's obsession with Brian, and the way that played out included masturbation, erections, and incredibly awkward discussion about these bodily functions, including a "birds and the bees" talk with his father -- how is it that someone can be considered a man in their society and become betrothed without having this knowledge?Pacing - The first half of the book dragged on and on and on. I really could have skipped ahead to where Ben found Harold half-dead in the woods (at about the halfway point of the book) and not felt like I missed anything at all. The god-slayers piqued my interest, but it wasn't really until page 120 of 185 that things really picked up and I felt like I was finally reading the story I had been promised by the summary. Some things (like Ben's obsession with Brian) took us SOOOOO much of the book, whereas other parts that were more interesting or important (like Milo's death) were given only one or two lines.Unsatisfying ending - Though the last part of the book became more interesting, I still finished the book feeling unsatisfied in the resolution. It feels like this whole story could have been the first few chapters of a better book, leading up to where Ben and Skye go out in search of the God Cannon. There's so much that's hinted at (the Felum, the gods, the Order, the god slayers, Dylan's supposed death, etc) that is never fully explained, it left me feeling more frustrated than intrigued. I also was really disappointed in the lack of development of the post-apocalyptic world. I would never have guessed that the Glass Palace was an old shopping mall if it hadn't said so in the book's description; there wasn't really enough description of it for me to come to that conclusion on my own. The only thing that we know about the "outside" world (though Ben has been on at least two journeys outside, none of which we really get to hear about) is that there are other Houses and woods and that anything resembling civilization has been destroyed. Also, apparently there were flying cars at one point, which I'm not sure what has to do with anything.Overall, I was really disappointed in this book and had a hard time working through it. It desperately needed editing, and the story didn't go much beyond the plot summary listed. The characters were unlikable and if I hadn't wanted to give an accurate review of the whole piece, there's no way I would have finished it.

[pennyanne_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I received this book on Kindle as part of a librarything giveaway. As the mother of two teenage girls I am always on the lookout for good young adult fiction I can recommend to them - this book fits that category. Yes, there are problems with language, spelling and editing but overall the story is very interesting and by the end of the book I really wanted to know what happened next - and also a bit more about what had happened in the past to create this world where the Gods do battle and destroy the earth. My major criticism is that the whole Felum side of the story just seemed to fade away - after a very intriguing interaction between Ben and Kar there was nothing else - will the Felum play a more major part in book two? I guess I'll have to wait to find out!

[bella55075 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I won this book through a Library Thing's giveaway. I liked this book. I loved that the book plot isn't dragged out. It is very fast paced and keeps you guessing. I also like that the character of Ben Casper is gay but the book doesn't revolve around it. I I look forward to the next in the series.

[cookiedemon · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

*Full disclosure: I was sent a free copy of this novel by the author in exchange for a review. All opinions expressed therein are my own.*Firstly I must concede that I am clearly not this book's target market. The intended age range for this is young adult, of which I left those years behind a good while ago! Nevertheless, in giving this novel a fair rating, I think that needs to be taken into account, as unfortunately I just didn't 'get' this book on a lot of levels which may be down to my age? However, it has to be said that I have read other YA novels, including Hunger Games and Divergent and have had no problems with them...Set in a dystopian future, we meet Ben. He is just returning from his 'journey' that guarantees he will be accepted as a man by the members of his tribe, all of whom live in 'The Glass Palace,' which the reader soon realises is an abandoned shopping centre. Soon Ben's unwanted duties and responsibility will involve him taking over his father's place as Mayor of the palace, but those are shortly to become the least of Ben's problems...Though I had high hopes for this book as the premise sounded really interesting, that soon waned as I realised within the first couple of chapters that the book has clearly not been through a stringent editing process. Not only did the tense change between past and present on numerable occaisions, but the grammar was also very inconsistent. I'm not some kind of grammar nazi or anything, but when the wrong word was used, it became incredibly offputting and distracting. Some words that should have been included were also missing entirely meaning that the sentences didn't really make sense. Also, I'm not sure if it is just the Kindle copy that I received, but the formatting was terrible- paragraphs disjointed and vast spacings- it looked very awkward on the page. I feel that for anyone paying for this book, this is information worth mentioning.I have to say that the characterisation in the novel didn't pique my interest very much. Ben, the narrator was a typical adolescent, moody, sulky and immature- and one who wasn't sure of his sexuality. He came across as very naïve, and for a fourteen year old, the notion that he hadn't yet had 'the talk' with his father, I found somewhat hard to believe- even in a post-apocalyptic society! Though I think sexuality is a brave subject for the author to tackle in a YA novel, it just came across as awkward and a bit cringey in places, and to be honest, a bit contrived with Ben's numerous erections, wet dreams etc- just tacky and unecessary. I didn't like any of the other characters either, which in a book with a lot of characters, to be completely apathetic towards the whole cast of them, isn't a good sign. Also- the gods themselves, I feel like the author naturally assumes the reader already knew what was going on with them- there were barely explanations as to who they were or how they had even came about, which I found confusing.To be honest, that's the way I felt about the majority of this book: too many red herrings and lack of explanation! If this is handled in the next book then fair enough, but as a reader I felt really unsatisfied by the lack of explanation as to a lot of things in this story. The ending as well: so abrupt and a bit of an anti-climax.It really does feel like I have completely slated this novel, but I did see some positives in it that are worth mentioning: the post-apocalyptic world created was very well done- it just could have been built upon a little more, with a bit more atmosphere and evocative descriptions. I also found the ideas of the Felums (human-cat hybrids) very interesting, it was just a shame that the reader learned so little about them and how they came about. I am assuming this is built upon in book 2, but a bit more could have been divulged here- it certainly would have piqued my interest a bit.Though this is the first part of the 'God Slayers Trilogy,' unfortunately I am not in a massive rush to read parts 2 and 3, if at all. Sorry, but this book just wasn't for me at all- part 1 had so many numerable faults that it has most definitely put me off trying the rest of them.