A Reckoning of Lions and Lambs

By Roger Jackson

Jacob Trimble has learned painful lessons as the leader of the Cumberland Community, a group of teenagers and kids who survived the worst plague in human history. People died on his watch.

Now, Jacob is in a dark place in his life. The responsibilities of leadership weigh heavily upon him and he is not handling it well. Despite that, he must protect his community again from an even more deadly menace from the outside world -- or what is left of it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Roger Jackson
• Release date: Jul 6, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310132445

Roger Jackson

My first taste of reading came in the 6th grade with the wonderful world of Scholastic Books. Even in a little farming community (population just over 1000), I could look through the two or three page catalog of books that were age appropriate – and dream. Then I had to ask my parents for the money to give to the teacher so she could place the order for my and my classmate’s choice of books. Seeing the box from Scholastic sitting on the teacher’s desk was as thrilling as Christmas. I knew there were books in that box just for me. I sat on the edge of my seat, waiting for the teacher to pull out that special bundle and call my name.I grew up on an Arkansas delta cotton farm. We worked hard and played hard. We could roam the fields, imagining we were somewhere else – anywhere else. But I wouldn’t have wanted to grow up anywhere else. The sky was so dark at night I could see all the stars unimpeded. The air was clean. The summers were hot, but the water pumped straight of the ground was cold. The winters were cold, but a gas wall heater kept the house toasty.I liked farming and I developed a love of nature and for growing things from it. I was the first of my family to go to college and I earned a degree in Computer Science. Computer programming is my paying job, but being with my family and writing are my true passions.I began writing in my teens, but I didn’t sell anything in the national market. I did get recognition from my university and I co-wrote and produced a small Star Trek spoof film. As a result, I was privileged to meet Gene Roddenberry. I married a wonderful woman and raised two great daughters before returning to my love of writing.I am pleased with the advent of electronic publishing. It gives more people a way of releasing his or her voice. My first e-publishing endeavors are a science fiction short story Currents of Thunder and my debut novel, A Shade of Mind.

Book preview

Chapter 1

It has been 2 years and 39 days since the end of the world, and things have not gone so well. I haven’t kept up with my journal for some time, so I need to catch up. If I don’t, someone else will write our history, and I know I won’t come out looking so good. The things I’ve done – well, let’s say they can be easily misinterpreted. I have to go all the way back to just after the drug addict, Vance Brothers, killed Rickey Tangeman and then himself, and Tanya Lacy committed suicide.

At first, I thought their deaths might cause a lot of division in the community. After all, people did like them – at least a few did –to a certain degree. I thought someone would blame me for what happened, but, if they did, no one said so out loud.

But I blamed myself. I should have taken care of the situation before it got out of control, but I was afraid to deal with the conflict. I had to get over my fear of confrontation or more people could die. I couldn’t let that happen again.

I also had to get over my fear of guns. I froze when Vance started shooting. I could have died when he pointed his gun at me because I was too scared to move. Not only that, someone else put himself in danger to protect me. I couldn’t let that happen again either.

You’d think everyone would have seen that I was a coward. On the contrary, I became a hero. People were convinced I faced down Vance and made him turn the gun on himself – and I let them think that. Mike said they needed to believe in something. Karen said the community could fail if I told them the truth.

I went along with it. I preferred being considered a hero instead of a coward. I told myself it was the best thing to do. What was good for me was good for the community. I was the community.

Everything didn’t go back to normal after that. Karen pushed me to get out there and talk to everybody. There was a lot of yelling, but I managed to get it down to just a hot conversation. Actually, Oz and I did it together. He turned out to be really good at negotiations. We didn’t solve the problem, but we got it under control.

Racial tensions decreased with time. We needed each other too much to let that divide us. Even so, there were other battles to fight. Each one threatened to damage our fragile community more than the one before. With each one, I got better at handling situations. I had to. I would do whatever it took to protect what I had built.

I thought I had gotten better at it. I believed I had gotten past my toughest obstacle. I thought I could handle anything else that could come our way. I read everything I could find to learn how to govern and nurture a growing society.

Karen brought me a book by James A. Baldwin. He said, The most dangerous creation of any society is the man who has nothing to lose. I wish I had understood that when I read it. I do now.

My name is Jacob Trimble. I am the leader of the Cumberland Community in La Follette Tennessee. This is our story.

*** *** ***

It’s November 24th – my sixteenth birthday.

The music is loud, but I can still hear people moving around. I’m sitting in Karen’s living room with my eyes closed. Really? Like I’m going to be surprised?

Something comes down on top of my head and I open my eyes. Karen has placed a party hat on my head and is hooking the elastic band under my chin.

Happy Birthday! everyone yells.

Karen gives me a kiss on the cheek, like my mother would have done, and dances off to the kitchen. Oz sits to my right with his new girlfriend, Shaniya. Starlight is nestled up to Blake to my left. Zeke and his girlfriend Summer sit beyond them. Mike and Venus sit on the couch facing me.

They all have their own goofy looking hats. Blake hands me a beer. Karen comes back carrying a large tray. Everyone sings Happy Birthday. I’m not so sure about the tray. Where’d they get a cake? Karen sets it down on the coffee table and I laugh. Arranged in a circle are two layers of Honey Buns adorned with sixteen birthday candles.

These things last forever, Karen says. Make a wish!

After I blow out the candles, I pick up a Honey Bun and pitch it at Mike. It hits him in the chest and bounces off into his lap. Venus squeals and Mike retaliates. Everyone laughs and ends up with pieces of Honey Bun stuck to them.

I pick the pieces off my shirt and eat them. This is nice, but I can’t help feeling a little sad. I’ve known these people for less than a year, but now they’re my only friends. Everyone I’ve known for the first fifteen years of my life is dead.

The plague took them all. I thought it was going to take me too, but I was immune to it – just like everyone in this room. That’s why we’re here. Of the hundreds of millions of people in the United States, we’ve only found around two hundred survivors so far; and none of them are older than twenty years old.

I glance at Starlight. Every time I look at her, I get even sadder. We spent one night together before she and Blake hooked up. Well, part of the night. I kept thinking about my girlfriend, Marci, and screwed up the whole thing.

Happy birthday, darling, Marci’s voice says. All the ghosts from the plague are still in my mind. They’re always with me.

I almost say, Thanks, out loud, but I catch myself.

Hey, perk up, Karen says in my ear. I didn’t realize she had sat down next to me.

Sure. More loudly I say, I’m just waiting for my presents.

Everyone looks at each other, saying nothing.

Presents? Mike says and looks at Karen. You said we weren’t doing presents.

No I didn’t, Karen says. She looks at Oz. I told you to organize getting the presents.

Yes, Oz says and looks at Blake. I told you to send some scavengers out to find something.

Uh oh, Blake says. I forgot.

Nobody told me nothing, Zeke says.

Yeah, yeah, I say. I lean forward and tap the coffee table. Right here. Bring ‘em.

Mike says, I got something out in my truck I can give you, but you’ll have to go get it.

Another surprise? Do they think I’m stupid? They picked me out a car, of course. I’ll show them. I’ll tell them I hate it. Can’t you do better than this heap?

I get up and walk out the front door, but then stop in my tracks. They got me a car alright. It is so yellow, it almost glows in the dark. The lights from the house shine upon it and make it look like a living thing. On the street sits a yellow Corvette convertible; my first car, the car I was driving when I found Mike. The top is down. My Corvette sunglasses sit on the dash. I almost stumble down the stairs as I step forward. When I turn around, everyone is grinning.

Mike told me right where it was, Blake says. I sent an extra person out on an S&R trip and he drove it back. I hope you don’t mind someone else driving it.

No, I don’t mind at all, I say. I turn back to my car. It’s gorgeous. Thanks guys.

Don’t get all mushy and start bawling, Mike says and goes inside.

The others shake my hand and hug me as they file back into the house. Karen takes me by the arm and we go in together.

Don’t tell me you’re surprised, she says. You’re sixteen now, so you can have a car.

"I know, but I didn’t expect that car."

She squeezes my arm and looks really pleased with herself. Then she makes us help clean up the leftover bits of Honey Bun. Mike pulls out a bottle of Jim Beam from somewhere. We drink and sing and even dance a little. I forget all about the depressing stuff after I drink enough. It’s not long before I have to pee.

When I come out of the bathroom, I almost bump into Venus waiting outside the door. She smiles at me as I move over so she can go in, but she stays where she is. She’s got this look on her face like she has something on her mind.

Happy Birthday, Jakey, she says, her speech slurred.

Thanks, I say.

Venus leans against the doorway and runs her finger across her lips. She’s wearing tight fitting everything. Her shirt is cut so low it leaves little to the imagination.

I stare. I can’t help it. She’s breathing hard and her chest rises and falls. Then Venus steps forward and puts her hands on my shoulders. They slide down my arms and around my waist. She presses her body against mine and pushes me back against the wall. Her lips touch mine and we’re suddenly locked in a passionate kiss. I pull Venus against me even tighter. Her tongue explores my lips.

My alcohol-fogged mind finally catches up with reality and I realize who I’m with. I push Venus away and slip past her. I hurry down the hall without looking back.

I take a deep breath as I return to the living room. Get a grip, Jacob. Nothing happened. Remember that. Absolutely nothing happened. I went to the bathroom. That’s all.

What’s wrong? Karen whispers in my ear when I sit down next to her. Are you okay?

I’m fine, I say, but I don’t feel fine. My heart is doing weird things in my chest. Maybe I’m having a heart attack. I’m just fine.

I don’t want any more questions, so I go over to the other couch to sit next to Blake. He won’t notice anything. He’s as drunk as I am.

Hey, Jacob, Blake says. You okay?

I’m fine, I say more harshly than I intend.

I don’t think Blake even hears me. He and Oz keep talking about whatever it is they are talking about. I try to follow along, but it’s no use. I look around. Mike is staring straight at me. He knows. I can see it.

Then Venus comes back into the room. I try not to, but I can’t help glancing her way. Mike shifts his stare to her. He glances at me one more time, then ends up staring at the floor. My insides feel like they’re being crushed in a trash compactor.

Why do I feel like this? I didn’t do anything. Venus kissed me, and I put a stop to it. Maybe I didn’t stop right away, but I did stop. I’m blowing this out of proportion.

The problem is that I have to say something to Mike. Or do I? There’s no way Mike can know what happened. I wasn’t gone long enough for anything to have happened. No one saw us.

The last thing I could ever do is betray Mike. Why did Venus do this? Maybe she is so drunk she didn’t know what she was doing. I don’t believe that. Why would she do this to Mike, her boyfriend, my best friend? I’ll have to talk to Mike so that he’ll understand I didn’t do anything.

What if he doesn’t believe me? He could turn against me. I can’t afford that. I need him; especially now. Even if he does believe me, he’ll probably break up with Venus. Then he might be mad at me for breaking them up. This isn’t good. Maybe I should keep my mouth shut.

I should talk to Karen first. Yeah, that’s it. She’ll know what to do. Then she can talk to Mike. She’s better at that than I am.

The party goes on and on and I try to forget about my dilemma. About the time I think it’s going to break up, we hear singing outside. Several people have gathered around the Corvette and are singing Happy Birthday. Blake makes me go out and join them. I don’t want to, but I do. After another hour of celebrating outside, Karen comes up to me.

Jacob, I’m exhausted, she says. I’m going to bed. I hope you had a good birthday.

I did, but I want to talk to you about something.

It can wait until tomorrow. I’m tired and I’m drunk and I have to go to bed. We’ll talk tomorrow, I promise.

She kisses me on the cheek and is gone. Mike and Venus are nowhere to be seen. Great, I’m not going to get this off my chest tonight. So I tell everyone thank you and goodnight over and over again. They make me get in the car and drive it back to my house; a whole four houses away. They follow me. I tell them thank you again and go inside.

I plop down on the couch and put my hands over my eyes. If I could have just talked to Karen, I would know what to do and get some sleep. Now I’m going to worry about it all night.

I lie down on the couch. As soon as I close my eyes, I’m out.

*** *** ***

I open my eyes and wish I hadn’t. It’s really bright in here. My whole body aches. I try to roll over, and almost fall off the couch. I’m all twisted up in a little blanket that only covers half of me, and I’m not a big guy. My mouth is horribly dry, and I don’t smell real good. It’s bad when you can smell yourself.

I don’t fully remember what happened last night until I’m well into a shower. Afterwards, I chug a bottle of water and grab a granola bar. I eat it on the way to Karen’s house. I bang on the door for a couple of minutes, but there’s no answer. I look around the side of the house. Her car is gone. Great! I still can’t talk to her.

So I go back home. I don’t want to talk to anybody before I see Karen, especially Mike. I can’t stay in hiding long. Blake tracks me down and forces me to concentrate on the next round of S&R deployments. He’s concerned about the decrease in newcomers, but believes it’s due to the distance we’re travelling to do searches. It’s now taking longer for the teams to go out and return.

I listen to Blake’s explanations and schedules and tell him he’s doing a good job. And he is. I couldn’t have picked a better person for S&R. He has a real passion for it.

But I can’t stop thinking about my problem. I go back to Karen’s as soon as he leaves. She’s still not home. I wait. There are no chairs, so I sit on the porch. It is late afternoon before she drives up. By then, I’m pissed.

Hi, Karen says as she gets out of the car.

Hi, I respond. I try not to sound mad, but I don’t think I’m successful.

Karen looks puzzled as she walks past me to the door.

What is it? she asks.

I don’t answer until we get inside. Then I let her have it.

Where have you been?

Karen sets down her brief case and looks at me with narrowed eyes.

I’ve been at the school. Why? What’s wrong?

I wanted to talk to you last night, but you wouldn’t.

I was tired and I wanted to go to bed. Now she’s pissed. I didn’t want to talk business last night.

"It wasn’t business I wanted to talk about."

Karen puts her hands on her hips and says nothing. She doesn’t have to. The irritation in her eyes says it all.

Do you know what happened? I ask. Karen still says nothing, and that makes me nervous. Venus practically raped me last night.

What are you talking about?

"I came out of the bathroom and she was standing there. Then she just – you know – grabbed me and …"

"What did you do?" Karen asks.

"What did I do? I didn’t do anything! I ran for it."

Karen purses her lips. Well, you know she’s a whore.

That floors me. Karen isn’t one to disrespect people – unless they deserve it. I yell, Don’t say that about her!

Don’t yell at me.

I’m not yelling at you, but you just called my best friend’s girlfriend a whore. She’s not a whore. She was just drunk – I think.

No, Jacob, she is a whore and yes, you are yelling at me.

I throw my hands up in the air. Why do you keep saying that? You just don’t like her because she’s pretty!

What the hell is that suppose to mean?

Oh God, what did I just say? I swallow hard and blink several times.

Nothing! is the only response I can think of.

Karen’s nostrils flare. You think she’s pretty and I’m not?

No! I mean yes. I mean, I think you’re beautiful, but you don’t have to call her a whore just because she kissed me. Are you jealous or something?

You’re an idiot! Karen shouts. "I’m not jealous. I don’t have anything to be jealous about. I’m not calling her a whore because she kissed you or because I’m jealous. I’m calling her a whore because that’s what she is. That’s what she was. She was a prostitute. BP she was a hooker!"

What?

Karen and I glare at each other for what seems like a long time. Then what she said sinks into my consciousness.

She was a hooker? I ask. Karen throws her hands up in the air this time and turns away. Does Mike know that?

Who do you think told me? Karen yells.

What? Does she mean – is she saying – Mike told her? How long has he known?

He knew it when he first met her. Mike is no fool. He knew exactly what he was getting into.

Who else knows?

Everybody knows, Jacob!

Well then, why the hell didn’t you tell me?

Because it’s none of my business! Karen shouts back. And it’s none of yours either. Don’t yell at me!

I’m not yelling at you!

Yes, you are!

No, I’m not! We stare at each other again for a while. I mumble, Someone should have told me.

Are you done yelling?

I keep staring at Karen, trying to figure out what to say next. She’s angry. She’s kind of cute when she’s angry. Then she blinks and brushes her hair out of her face.

She asks, You really think I’m beautiful?

I don’t say anything. I step forward and kiss her on the lips. Then I lean back and look into her eyes.

I think you’re beautiful, I say.

I lean in to kiss her again. I slide my arms around her waist and pull her close. Karen takes my face in her hands and kisses me back.

What were we just talking about? Don’t know, don’t care. I don’t even know how we end up in the bed, but I don’t care about that either. I want this. I guess I’ve wanted it for a long time.

Then that image of Marci sitting in the gazebo comes to mind. She’s looking down, but then lifts her head and meets my eyes.

My one and only love, she says.

I tense up. Karen snuggles closer to me. She probably knows what I’m thinking about, but doesn’t say anything. That’s just as well. I’m not ready to talk about it yet.

Chapter 2

I didn’t get a chance to talk to Mike for a while. He was busy wiring additional houses for generators for the sudden influx of new people. Blake hit the jackpot in Atlanta. Almost fifty people, ranging from five to seventeen years old, had come together there, but they didn’t have what we had. They were happy to join us in Tennessee.

I heard rumors of drug use, pot mostly, with these new people, but it didn’t last long. The newcomers were made aware of what happened with Vance and Rickey. I didn’t even have to get involved.

People still socialized as much as they did BP, just differently. Relationships were face to face instead of electronic. We met at the bonfires. To these fires we brought music, conversation, food, and companionship. The younger children ran through the streets without fear. The rest of us developed closer friendships than we had BP.

Mike and Karen constantly reminded those in sexual relationships to use birth control. There were no pregnancies even though serious physical relationships developed, but there were domestic disputes. Fights broke out from time to time.

One case involved a boy hitting his girlfriend, but he was dealt with before Mike or Karen had time to react. They broke the boy’s nose. He didn’t hit anyone after that. Even so, I spoke out against the use of violence to settle disputes. Karen made everyone involved in the incident attend counseling sessions. Things got better.

Karen spent most of her time counseling. More newcomers were arriving with serious emotional problems and it affected the rest of us. Depression became more and more common. The S&R teams were finding more suicides out there and it had a sobering effect on the community. People had nightmares and some of them admitted they had suicidal thoughts.

Karen was overwhelmed by the trauma and fears of the people she helped. I felt helpless. All I could do was hold her as she cried. She assured me that was what she needed most. We became each other’s support system. I suggested she give Hannah the responsibility of school administrator to relieve some of the pressure. She agreed.

Hannah was good for the school. She was a natural born teacher and didn’t let her religion get too much in the way. I was glad of that. I still wasn’t interested in anything to do with God.

Then I couldn’t avoid Mike any longer. He came to my door asking for help in wiring up the bank building to have electricity in our conference room.

*** *** ***

We’re down to the last wires. I still haven’t said anything to Mike about what happened on my birthday. I get so anxious thinking about it, I can’t talk; and Mike isn’t saying anything.

Mike suddenly stops splicing wires and says, Jake, I need to apologize to you.

What for? I blurt out.

Mike’s eyes remain on the wires in his hands. I need to apologize for Venus.

I don’t know what to say. He’s apologizing to me? I should be apologizing to him.

I’m sorry she messed with you, he says. I mean, she goes off with other people, but she knew there are certain people she has no business… Mike starts twisting the wires together again and falls silent for a few seconds. Anyway, he continues, I told her to hit the road. She moved out last night. She won’t bother you again.

How do you know what happened?

It wasn’t hard to figure out. I know that look when she’s got someone in her sights.

Mike, I didn’t do anything…

I know that. You didn’t have time, but she propositioned you, didn’t she?

Well, yeah, I stammer. I mean, she – but I left before she could do anything.

That’s what I figured.

Wait a minute. Does he think I ran? Like I can’t handle someone like Venus? I start to say something I shouldn’t, but then realize I’d better stop while I’m ahead. The important thing is that he’s still my friend and supporter.

Mike, I’m so sorry, I say. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I never would have…

I know that, he interrupts. What, you think you broke us up? Get over it. I got tired of her messing around. I knew this would happen eventually. It was fun while it lasted. He stops working and looks at me again. "Were you really worrying about me?"

I shrug. Maybe a little.

Mike stares at me for a moment longer and then focuses on the wires.

Hmm, is all he says.

End of conversation.

*** *** ***

Tomas is gone for almost a week before someone misses him. I thought I was going to have to dispatch an S&R mission just for him, but he finally shows up. He looks totally undisturbed, like nothing happened. Then he presents a complete explanation of how the town’s water system works. He has drawings and everything. We give it to the electricians and they supply power to the pumps. The water pressure goes up to normal and everything looks good. The creek is no longer needed as our water supply.

A couple of days after that, we’re sitting around the bonfire.

I think I can restore electricity to the whole town, Tomas says.

I’m not sure I heard correctly, so I ask, What was that, Tomas?

I think I can restore electricity to the whole town, he repeats in exactly the same tone of voice.

Everyone hears him this time and it gets quiet.

How can you do that? I ask.

The dam on Norris Lake.

I wait for more of an explanation. When none comes, I ask, What about the dam?

It was used to generate electricity for the whole area, Tomas explains. I read about it.

I don’t know what to think. Tomas believes he can make the biggest electric generator ever to work again. This is huge. We can light up the whole town – the whole area. We won’t need generators anymore. Mike and his electricians can concentrate on other things. If this works, just think what everyone will think of me then. And Tomas too, of course.

Tomas you can go look at the dam, but not alone, I say. Figure out if you can make it work, but please be careful. I’m sure it can dangerous in there. Then report back to me when you find something. This is your project, but I’m going to make Billy your co-manager since he’s our head electrician. Both of you have to agree you can do it safely before I’ll I let you do anything. Okay?

Tomas nods. Everyone pats him on the back. He winces at the physical contact. Tomas has gotten so much better, but Karen says this is probably as good as he is going to get. He might improve when he gets older.

*** *** ***

Two days later, Hannah comes to my house and corners me before I can make a break for it.

I have a request, she says as she pins me down with her eyes.

Sometimes she makes me feel like a butterfly stuck to a display board.

What is that?

Hannah’s first request came about a month ago. That had been to start a church. I said that was okay. I didn’t think it could do too much harm, but I did put some restrictions on it. They could only meet on Sunday morning and night. We were too busy to do more than that. They had to keep it in the church building. I didn’t want to see it. Hannah wasn’t happy, but she agreed.

I want to adopt a child, she says.

I’m sorry, what did you say?

I want to adopt a child.

It takes me a few moments to fully understand, but when I do, I say the only logical thing anyone could say.

Why?

Hannah looks as surprised by my question as I was by her request.

Because there are orphans in this town that need parents, she says.

I mean -- haven’t you basically already done that? Carl has lived with you since before you got here. You’ve already kind of adopted him haven’t you?

Yes, I suppose, she says, but I want to make it official. I want a legal record of it and I want his last name to be changed to Cunnard. He and I have talked it over and he agrees.

I don’t know exactly what to think. This would have been perfectly reasonable BP, had Hannah been older. Now – well, it’s a huge step; but the more I think about it, the more sense it makes. Yes, Hannah will be taking on a lot of responsibility, but no more than what she has already. It could even help the mood in the community.

Uh, how do you want me to make it official? I ask. Do you want me to make an announcement or something?

I would like a legal document prepared. I spoke with Osgood and he told me this would be the proper way to do it.

Hannah never calls him Oz. The best she can do is to use his full middle name and that’s only because he doesn’t like to be called Theodore. It doesn’t seem to bother him, but it irritates me. Now I’m also irritated at Oz. He’s constantly trying to bring formal government to the community and insists on the adoption (no pun intended) of a set of written laws. I agree it needs to be done. I just can’t find the time to do it.

I see, I say. "I can have Brandon print a