Gern Flopkins Sales Superstar

By Gern Flopkins

Laugh, Lern and Earn with Gern! 22 Knock your socks off Chapters of wisdom from Gern Flopkins designed to put the fun back into your life and career as you open your mind and spirit for Success!! Get down and dirty as Gern helps you prepare the soil and plant the seeds of success for a lifetime of joy and abundance. Clear away the obstacles that have been holding you back. You’ll never see prospecting and presentations the same way again. Clients and customers will flock to you as you put Gern’s ingenious ideas and techniques of life and career success to work in this ground breaking, semi-ridiculous and entertaining book.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gern Flopkins
• Release date: Jun 25, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310764233

Gern Flopkins

Born in a neighbors pool with a bike inner tube wrapped around his head, Gern Flopkins has defied the odds. Rising up from the depths of mediocrity and despair to become one of the worlds foremost authorities on failure.After joining the circus at age 12 and aimlessly traveling the country doing odd jobs, Gern had failed miserably at everything he ever attempted. Then one day, through some miraculous twist of fate, he finally landed the career opportunity of a lifetime!Being hired to work for a small upstart company selling pots and pans through in home demonstrations, a serendipitatious meeting with Hank Lipschitz, his mentor, would change things forever and start Gern down the road to Sales Superstardom and Success.Tapping into his ability to blindly following directions and armed with an incredible work ethic and unwavering enthusiasm, Gern Flopkins inevitably had arrived! The rest, as they say, is history......

Book preview

Introducing Gern Flopkins

Well whaddya think? I sat there completely motionless letting that silver bullet close sink in. Silent as a church mouse, I stared at the prospect for what seemed like an eternity. After making what I thought was THE presentation of a lifetime, it seemed my mere existence hung helpless in the balance.

After describing how this pretty good set of pots and pans could help my prospect and his family not only make better tasting food, but despite the cost prohibitive initial investment, our lifetime guarantee would actually save them money in the long run, it was now decision time.

This, my friends, was that moment of truth. The moment when the sale is either made or lost.

Recognize your moments of truth.

Snake stood up and let out a long growling baritone burp that shook me out of my trance. Then with one hand, crumpled his empty can of Pabst Blue Ribbon as he picked it up off of the makeshift table we had assembled from an old beer keg and small piece of plywood.

Sweat began beading on my forehead. The temperature must have shot up 100 degrees or so it seemed. Is it hot in here? I asked myself under my breath, knowing full well from my sales training that the first person to speak out loud, bought.

Practice shutting up till it’s automatic *G

Not a sound could be heard except the blood curdling creaks from under Snake’s feet as he walked across the floor of his well maintained doublewide trailer.

His can echoed after making an incredible behind the back toss into the aluminum bucket he used for recycling. Two points! He shouted. Reaching in his fridge, Snake pulled out another cold one, turned back around and paused. I could tell his wheels were turning fast. It was nerve-racking to say the least, but at the same time, so exhilarating! My heart was pumping a mile a minute.

Mr. Drisken then cocked his head sideways, looked directly at me for a moment through his one good eye and with a compassionate snarl, uttered the words I have never forgotten to this day.

Assume the sale!

He said Son, I really don’t cook much, but let me think about it and I promise to look you up after I visit my cousin in New York. Yesssss, I thought to myself realizing I was one step closer to my first big sale. Music to my ears Snake. So when are you going to New York? I asked. I don’t know Gern…I don’t know… he answered while shaking his head and staring off into the distance. With that, Snake graciously thanked me for my time and sent me on my way.

Be alert for obvious buying signals!

Whewwww! I sighed wiping my brow with my shirt sleeve. Being extra careful to conceal the rather large sweat spots that had spontaneously combusted in the armpits of my lavender shirt, I quickly gathered my pots and pans in a towel.

Then, like a skillet to the groin, it hit me. All the tension that had been building up to a near fever pitch had somehow completely disappeared. I felt unusually calm. A happy place. I simply stood up, brightly smiled, gave a wink to Snake and it seemed as good a time as any to shake hands goodbye.

With my cooking utensils hoisted securely over my shoulder, I rattled my way out the screen door and down the wooden steps to the gravel drive. A certain confidence began welling up inside.

Confidence is King! *G

I remember pedaling my bike as fast as I could down the street. With my soiled slacks sticking to the seat, I took one last look back at Snake’s trailer. Brimming with excitement and sporting a giant grin from ear to ear that I could hardly contain, I laughed out loud to myself. I got him! This sales business really isn’t that hard after all! Look out world, I’m on my way!

Gern Flopkins has arrived!

That was over 25 years ago, but I remember that thrill like it was yesterday. The energy, the excitement and exhilaration of my very first appointment!

Although, to my surprise, I never did make that sale with Snake nor did I ever see him again for that matter, the lessons I lerned on that fateful day in the trailer park were priceless.

Diamonds in the rough!

You hold in your hand right now, dear reader, not only an invaluable collection of lessons from inside that double wide trailer, but over 25 years of blood, sweat and tears. Wisdom and experience forged from the trenches of sales mediocrity and despair! Wisdom that if truly studied and somehow understood, cannot help but change your career and ultimately my friends, your life for the better!

Be Curious, Be excited, Read on!

You may be wondering Who in the world is Gern Flopkins? Where did he come from anyways and why should I read this book? These are certainly very good questions which deserve good answers. So let us begin our journey!

Introducing Gern Flopkins part Deux

Where it all began.

It all started in a very small town in Southwest Ohio many, many years ago. My birth, a rather unusual one to say the least, took place unexpectedly early while my mother was sun bathing in the next door neighbor’s pool during a last minute babysitting gig.

As the story goes, the 9 year old neighbor kid, being forced into duty assisting with the birth, panicked when a bike inner tube somehow became entangled and tightly wrapped around my head during the delivery. In the heat of the moment, while trying his best to dislodge it, the boy inadvertently twisted the tube even tighter while my mother was flailing and splashing about. We all three nearly drowned!

Panic! Turns out--not a good strategy*G

Witnessing this chaos, our little beagle Goldie frantically ran up and down the street barking for help. She found some! Gladys, our nosy neighbor, was dragged to the scene by her pant leg. An ambulance was quickly called.

Man’s best friend!

Evidently, the ambulance never arrived! They figured it had something to do with getting caught in the city baseball league’s opening day parade traffic. So finally, hours later, we were rushed off to the hospital in the back of a pickup truck carrying a load of mulch.

Sumpn ain’t right!

Based on the facial expressions from the pictures I found in an old family photo album, we must not have smelled too good upon arrival.

Knee deep in stench, and nine hours on the operating table, the student doctors who performed the tire removal surgery emerged to inform my parents that they did the best they could, but odds are, their new born son Gern, most likely wouldn’t amount to a hill of beans.

My parents had other ideas!

Despite the Doctor’s opinion and the supposed terrible odds, I was their son! They believed this chaotic emergency delivery was a sign from above. My parents fully expected that with lots of faith, love and the use of a new experimental head reshaping regimen involving a rubber vice and ball peen hammers, Gern would, without a doubt, grow up to be a wonderful boy destined for greatness one day!

Destiny in the Balance

Regardless, they figured after all the pounding, if things didn’t go as well as imagined they could at least use help mowing the lawn when they got older. It was a win-win! So they said Doc, We’ll take those odds any day of the week!

As it turned out, it was all just an overreaction. After accruing a mind boggling $875,000 worth of medical bills, paid mostly by the insurance company and several bowl-a-rama fund raisers, those extra 2 days I spent in the hospital were just what the Doctor ordered.

A Great big sigh of relief!!

As I recall, my head was red and very sore for the first couple of years, but I ended up making it through the therapy just fine! I’m so grateful to all those wonderful folks that helped my family with the staggering sum of hospital bills and will remember forever their tremendous acts of generosity.

Be Grateful and Give back!

To the untrained eye, it seems that even from the very beginning, things have always gone a little differently for me than most my entire life. For some reason, abnormal just comes naturally to me. Some say I was born to be The Alpha underdog and you know what—I’m not really sure what they meant by that.

Encouraged by my parents, however, and hurried along by all the others, I’ve scratched and clawed my way out from under all the rocks and garbage life could throw at me. I’m happy to report—here I am folks! I made it! And I want you to make it too!

I always root for the underdog!

This, my friends, is the inspiration for these books. For all you underdogs out there with so much to offer, but so little talent, direction or motivation! This is my labor of love to give back to the world. A world in which we live in.

So to all those dedicated bowlers, insurance people, doctors, nurses and many other folks that weren’t even related to me at the time, I’ll never forget you and I’ll never forget to:

Thank God for small miracles!

Now, back to the story. My childhood was a rather a normal one. I lerned to walk, talk, eat, drink and go to the bathroom on my own. Then, of course, it was time to venture off to public school.

I was a good student, got mostly A’s and B’s, but my handwriting was rather sloppy. I got made fun of, picked on, bullied and emotionally beaten up by the popular groups of boys and girls; all the usual stuff.

My favorite sports were four square and dodge ball and I still hold the school record, to this day, of being hit by the most balls in a single year.

Be the best you you can be!

Disco dancing came natural to me. Most likely got it from my father (he was on American Bandstand once). Although I loved shaking a leg at home, I was still quite shy and rather awkward at social functions so I danced mostly by myself while the other kids looked on in sheer utter amazement. For the most part though, I smiled a lot made a few good friends and will always treasure my childhood years.

Adventure awaits!

It was during those early years however, that I remember this strange nagging voice inside my head. It constantly gnawed at me day after day after day; calling to me the same incantation over and over. Gern, you were born for greatness! You were made for adventure! Gern, follow your dreams! I tried stopping the voices by shoving qtips in my ears, but the words just wouldn’t go away!

Gern you were born for greatness! Made for adventure! Follow your dreams! I didn’t know who was saying these words or why they kept calling to me, but finally one day, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I knew I had to act. So that’s when I decided to run away and join the circus. The voices stopped. I was twelve years old.

Follow your dreams

I never forgot my parents or how they believed in me and had given me such a good start in life, so I was determined to make them proud and become as successful as I possibly could. I missed my mom and dad a lot, but knew I would return one day successful beyond their wildest dreams.

Remember where you came from!

As luck would have it,