Listen to Your Heart: Listen to Your Heart, #2

By Margaret Lake

When Lena Manning finds herself widowed after World War I, she must build a new life for herself and her infant daughter. With the help of her church, she finds stability and contentment until the arrival of a new pastor turns her quiet life upside down.

Turned out of her job at the church, Lena is offered employment and a home with a wealthy family. When the son of the house pursues her, she is drawn into the seductive world of wealth and power. Can she survive the secrets of that world, or will fear drive her back to her church where she can no longer be sure of her welcome?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jobree Publishing
• Release date: Dec 17, 2010
• ISBN: 9781498963619

Margaret Lake

Margaret Lake was born in New Jersey, but moved to Florida in her early teens and has lived there ever since. Reading has been her favorite activity since she was ten years old. Even after purchasing a Kindle, she still had seven large bookcases filled with paper books. It took years for her to part with the majority of them. Her other passion is history, especially English History, dating from when she first read "Katherine" by Anya Seton. When the inspiration came to write her first novel, she naturally gravitated to the Wars of the Roses because of that book. Her favorite author is Susan Howatch, her favorite book is "Outlander" and her favorite series is Harry Potter. She led a Harry Potter book club at the elementary school and helped with the chess club at both the elementary and high schools. Margaret rescued a nine-year old Jack Russell Terrier named Angelo who passed at the age of 15 on December 3, 2017. Now she has Mikey, a teeny-tiny two year old chihuahua mix (actually 50% chihuahua, 25% miniature poodle, 12.5% maltese and 12.5% terrier according to his DNA), adopted from the Humane Society on March 7, 2018. Mikey has gone a long way toward filling the empty space in her heart left by the loss of Angelo.

Book preview

LISTEN TO YOUR HEART

by

Margaret Lake

Author of

historical, contemporary,

and fantasy romance

illustrated children’s books

graphic novels

http://www.margaretannlake.com

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

As always, deepest thanks go to Jeffry S. Hepple of Elisco Publishing for his invaluable assistance.

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DEDICATION

It is sad to lose a fan of your work, but it is very hard when that person is also a friend. Dona Marie Thompson Dean was known as Anju No. 469 on kindleboards.com. She was a friend to all as well as a devoted supporter of independent authors. Dona was called home too soon and she is missed by everyone who knew her.

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DESCRIPTION

When Lena Manning finds herself widowed after World War I, she must build a new life for herself and her infant daughter. With the help of her church, she finds stability and contentment until the arrival of a new pastor turns her quiet life upside down.

Turned out of her job at the church, Lena is offered employment and a home with a wealthy family. When the son of the house pursues her, she is drawn into the seductive world of wealth and power. Can she survive the secrets of that world, or will fear drive her back to her church where she can no longer be sure of her welcome?

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Chapter One

April, 1918

They hadn't known she was pregnant when Jack was sent with the AEF to fight in France. She had stood on the docks in New York with hundreds of other wives, mothers and girlfriends, all of them waving madly, never dreaming he wouldn't return to her. Not coming back to her was a nightmare, not a dream.

It must have happened that last night they were together, when they turned to each other over and over, clinging desperately until the last minute. At least Lena had clung. In her heart, she knew as the dawn approached that he was already far away from her, thinking about France and the coming fight.

He was always a scrapper, her Jack. He figured that once the Americans got into the war, the Huns would turn tail and run. He only hoped he would get a chance to fight before it was all over.

The few letters she received were hastily written in pencil on torn scraps of paper. He talked about training, and then trenches and rain and mud and the constant bombardment by the Germans. He was anxious to get into the fight, but that hadn't happened. The English and the French had lost many thousands of troops and were no longer willing to risk a frontal attack.

Now that the Americans were there, things were different. When the order came to go over the top, Jack had scrambled up the ladder and gone no more than a few yards when a German shell took away his chance for glory.

Lena had never told Jack he was going to be a father. She was afraid the news would distract him when he needed to focus on staying alive. Now all she could do was wonder if knowing about the baby would have made him more determined to come home; less willing to take chances. It was an agonizing thought that haunted her at night in her lonely bed.

Lena had been an active member of her church and when her parents died, she had turned to her church for comfort. When the news came that Jack was gone, she went to the pastor and he prayed with her. More importantly, he went with her back to the house she had shared with her mother-in-law since Jack's departure. They broke the news to Ruth Manning together and when the poor woman fell to the floor in a faint, he was there to help her.

Pastor Gilman sent Lena to find the smelling salts, but when they couldn't revive Ruth, he phoned for the doctor himself. Dr. Warren arrived within minutes and gave them the bad news. Ruth had had a massive stroke and if she was to survive, she would need careful nursing.

Private duty nurses were out of the question, as was a lengthy hospital stay. There was no choice but for Lena to care for her. Pastor Gilman assured her that the ladies of the Church would help, and indeed, they brought food and sat with her for all the months that Ruth lay helpless in her bed.

Pastor Gilman was her rock and her mainstay, never missing a day, always there with a smile or a joke or practical advice and help. It was he who arranged for the sale of Jack’s horses and wagon and Ruth's few pieces of jewelry so Lena could pay the rent, and when that ran out, he arranged for her to receive money from the parish poor fund.

The end came when Lena was eight months pregnant and was sure she just could not get through another day. As well-intentioned as the other ladies had been, they had their own families to care for. While there was always someone to come in to relieve her for a few hours each day, the majority of Ruth's care fell to her.

As Ruth slipped away, only Lena and Pastor Gilman were there to hold her hand and speed her to heaven with loving prayers.

Lena held up through the throngs of people that gathered in the house to mourn Ruth's passing. Losing Ruth meant losing her closest tie to Jack. Losing Ruth meant that all the grief she had no time to feel was about to drag her into a black pit. She thought she would never survive.

They were in the cemetery and the coffin had been lowered. It was up to Lena to throw the first handful of dirt on top of the plain pine box. As she approached the open grave, Lena could see that black pit yawning at her feet and threw herself to her knees before the dark could drag her down.

Pastor Gilman and his wife, Alice, were there instantly to help her, but she couldn't rise from the ground. Wave after wave of pain knifed through her belly and she was sure the pain was going to rip her apart.

Alice knew immediately what had happened. She had seven of her own, and if she wasn't mistaken, this babe was coming and coming fast. She turned to signal Dr. Warren, but he was already there, lifting Lena into his arms as if she weighed no more than a child.

Despite his urging that Lena eat more and rest more, she had actually lost weight during this pregnancy. Now the babe was coming early and he prayed that if he couldn't save the child, he could at least save the mother. She was no more than a baby herself, barely twenty years old.

He placed Lena carefully into the back seat of his motorcar where Mrs. Warren could hold the girl steady. There was a lying-in hospital nearby and he needed to get Lena there fast.

Lena clung to Mrs. Warren with all her meager strength, fighting back the rising tide of panic. She took comfort from Mrs. Warren's practical reassurance and, bit-by-bit, determination to save Jack's child grew within her.

She forced herself to breathe through the pain as Mrs. Warren instructed her to do. By the time they reached the hospital, she was calmer and was able to give Dr. Warren a wan little smile.

The doctor glanced at his wife who nodded at the stain on the seat. Lena was bleeding badly, and by the looks of her pale face, she didn't have much blood to spare. Thank God, the pains were very close together, and Lena might not have to use up her fragile reserves of strength.

He could see that Lena had found her courage. That and prayer just might get her and the baby through this. The Lord knew he was just a small town doctor and he hoped what skill he had would be enough.

Lena hardly recognized Dr. Warren, swathed in white. She only knew him by his kindly eyes gazing at her over the gauze mask he wore.

Lena, can you hear me? Dr. Warren called to her, taking her hand. I can't give you anything for the pain. It might slow down your contractions, and the quicker this baby is born, the better.

She could only nod her understanding.

Similarly gowned and masked, Mrs. Warren took her other hand. I'll be right here with you, she said kindly. I've helped the doctor deliver many a baby safely.

Just then another pain gripped Lena and she had no breath for anything. This one was the strongest of them all and she gripped Mrs. Warren with both hands. The doctor was shouting at her to bear down. She concentrated on pushing as hard as she could. She was sure that the whole lower half of her body would fall off, but she knew she had to obey him.

Then she was floating above the bed, starting to drift away when she heard a baby cry. That's all right, then, she thought. The baby ... Jack's baby ... is alive. Now I can go to my rest.

But something was pulling her back. She heard a dozen ... no a hundred ... voices raised in prayer. They were praying for her to live. The voices became louder as she floated nearer to the bed on which her body lay and dimmer as she floated away.

But then she heard another voice, not just praying, but shouting at her. She thought it might be Dr. Warren, but she wasn't sure.

Lena, Lena! I've stopped the bleeding! he yelled. Don't you die on me now, girl, not when we've worked so hard to save you!

Then she heard Mrs. Warren whispering in her ear. She's beautiful, Lena. You have to come back and see your baby girl. She needs you, Lena.

Jackie, she breathed before lapsing into unconsciousness.

Dr. Warren thumbed back her eyelid and assured his anxious wife that it was probably the best thing for Lena. She's young. Her body needs to rest and heal, and the baby will help heal her spirit.

Chapter Two

And so it happened as Dr. Warren predicted and as the whole congregation prayed. Pastor Gilman helped Lena sell the rest of Ruth's belongings so she would have some money of her own. He found her a room in Mrs. Guthrie's boarding house. He also gave her a job in the church, helping him with his correspondence and teaching her how to keep the books and use the typewriter.

Jackie grew and thrived until she was nearly four years old, looking more and more like her handsome father every day. She had Jack's golden blond hair and sea-green eyes and it looked like she'd be tall and slender like her father, too. Her pale beauty was quite a contrast to Lena's dark hair and eyes. Everyone remarked on the difference. It was as if Lena hadn't had anything to do with Jackie's conception at all.

It didn't matter. With Jackie by her side, she had her beloved husband back. The best part was that the little girl was sweet and affectionate always. Jack could be sweet sometimes, but he was rarely affectionate, and never in public. Jackie filled that need in her and Lena was content.

In the summer, they often went to the boardwalk and fed the seagulls. At first, Lena had let Jackie dabble her toes in the water and delighted in the girl's laughter as the waves sucked the sand from under her feet. Now as she grew older, she grew bolder, pulling Lena further out until the water lapped at her ankles and then her knees. Lena gave up and held onto her hands as they jumped the little wavelets that broke against the sand.

As the summer of 1922 wore on, Lena began to notice a man dressed in white flannels with a straw boater tilted to hide his face. She could tell he wore a goatee, but little else about his face. What drew her attention was the cane. This was no ornament. He obviously needed it to walk as he struggled down the boardwalk, determination written in every step.

By the third or fourth time she saw him, she noticed a motorcar driving slowly, keeping pace with the man. She noticed it because he had stopped, leaning heavily on his cane and beckoned toward the car. A uniformed chauffeur jumped out and ran to the man's assistance. She could almost feel the effort of will it took for him to stand erect once more and walk slowly on his own to the waiting car.

The man had courage, Lena thought, and she would pray for him. He must have been injured in the Great War, as had so many, but he was obviously determined to overcome his handicap. She would ask the congregation to pray for him, too.

It was the next day that the blow came. Pastor Gilman called her in to his study. Mrs. Gilman was also there and it was obvious she had been crying.

Please, come in and sit down, Lena, he invited her wearily.

Lena didn't know what to think. Had something happened to one of the grandchildren? Was Pastor Gilman himself ill?

I have had a visit from the bishop's representative. The pastor paused to clear his throat, uncomfortable with the situation. Lena, he began again, you know how Mrs. Gilman and I have valued you as a friend, almost as a daughter, and we couldn't love Jackie more. He paused again to take a sip of water.

Lena wished he would get on with it. Whatever he had to say couldn't possibly be as bad as waiting to hear it or listening to Mrs. Gilman's soft weeping.

But I've jumped ahead of myself, he apologized. This whole situation is too distressing. He shifted in his chair and wiped his face with a handkerchief. The bishop feels that my pastoral skills would better serve a new community in Ohio. They are just starting out and a man of my experience ... He trailed off, waving his hand vaguely in the air.

Oh, why don't you just say it, Gil? They're putting you out to pasture, Mrs. Gilman cried.

My dear, this must have been a difficult decision for the bishop. I'm sure he believes I'm the best man for the job.

Then why is he replacing you with a younger man? Mrs. Gilman cried. You should refuse. Turn in your resignation. Retire. How can you bear to leave our home and our children and our grandchildren?

Perhaps you're right, he sighed. In any case, we should discuss it later. He waved his hand toward Lena. Right now we have to concern ourselves with this young lady's future.

Lena was still in shock. Pastor Gilman had been part of her life for as long as she could remember. Her world would not be the same without him and Mrs. Gilman.

Lena, the new pastor is a young widower with two little girls. The bishop feels it would be improper for a single lady to work for an unmarried man.

You mean I won't be able to work here anymore? Lena gasped.

Whatever happens to us, I promise that we will not rest until we see you properly situated. Pastor Gilman smiled at her reassuringly. You have many skills, you are a devout and respectable young lady, and you have much to offer any employer.

Lena's heart sank. Yes, she could probably find a job with the pastor's help, but what about Jackie? She always brought Jackie to work with her. Who would let her keep her daughter by her side? She would have to find someone to watch her during the day. Lena couldn't bear the thought of leaving her little girl with a stranger.

H ... how long before you have to leave, Lena whispered.

Not for another month, the pastor assured her. You can keep right on working here as long as Mrs. Gilman and myself are still in residence.

When will the new pastor be here?

Next week. He'll need time to get acquainted with the running of the church and the office. I know you'll help with that.

Of course, Lena murmured automatically, but her mind was racing toward an empty future where it was just her and Jackie.

It was Dr. Warren who found the solution. He had been called out for an emergency consultation at one of the big beachfront properties a few miles north. The lady of the house was in desperate need of someone to keep her social calendar organized and help her with an extensive correspondence.

Dr. Warren immediately thought of Lena and told Mrs. Drummond all about her, including the fact that she had a child she couldn't leave. If Lena proved satisfactory, she would have a spacious bedroom with sitting room that would easily accommodate a small child. Meals would be provided, and there was ample staff to look after the little girl while Lena was working.

Dr. Warren was thrilled for Lena and couldn't wait to tell her. Mrs. Drummond appeared to be a kind and generous lady. She would be especially grateful for Lena's assistance as the Drummonds had just moved into the area and didn't know anyone.

The next morning, Lena was up bright and early, getting ready for her interview. Mrs. Drummond had insisted that Lena bring Jackie along for approval as well. Lena dressed her in a well-starched, blue-and-white middy with a big blue bow in her gleaming, blonde hair. Lena put on her best shirtwaist, and hoped she would pass muster. There hadn't been much money to spare for clothes, and what there was went to Jackie.

Dr. Warren arrived right on time and helped Lena and Jackie into the motorcar. It wasn't the first time he had taken them out for a ride, but it was still a thrill for both of them.

When he pulled up to the wrought-iron double gates, Lena gasped at the magnificence of the grounds ahead of her. Jackie bounced up and down, trying to see everything all at once, but Lena stopped her with a touch of her hand, reminding the little girl of her promise to be good.

More wonders lay ahead of them. The huge, marble-floored front hall nearly overwhelmed Lena. She pulled Jackie close to her, suddenly afraid of what this grand house might hold for her and her daughter.

It was too late to turn around and flee as Dr. Warren took her arm to follow after a very intimidating man. She knew Dr. Warren could feel her trembling and wished she could stop. He patted her hand reassuringly and she felt a bit better.

The butler (as she would learn later) ushered them in to a small but elegantly-furnished sitting room and asked them to wait. Mrs. Drummond would be with them shortly. Lena barely had time to get Jackie settled in a chair when the door opened to admit the lady of the house. She was a small, bird-like woman, fashionably dressed, with short, gray-streaked dark hair and the saddest eyes Lena had ever seen.

Dr. Warren introduced them and Jackie dropped into the curtsy Lena had taught her. A smile lit up Mrs. Drummond's face as she greeted the little girl warmly.

You must be Jackie, she said softly. I'm Mrs. Drummond and I thank you for that lovely curtsy. She stooped down to Jackie's level and took her hand. Do you like my house, little one?

Jackie bobbed her head up and down, making her blonde curls dance around her sweet face.

That's good, replied Mrs. Drummond, taking Jackie's hand in hers, for I would very much like you and your mother to live here with me. Would you like that?

Oh, yes, ma'am, Jackie replied enthusiastically, and promptly kissed Mrs. Drummond on the cheek.

At that moment, Lena lost her heart to this wealthy lady who would take the time and trouble to make her child feel welcome in her