'Til Death Does His Part

By S.E. Batt

The world's greatest murderer finally goes to jail. Unfortunately, that murderer is Death himself.

Disaster strikes when the Grim Reaper himself lands in a cell for murder, the world becoming free of all death as a result. In his desperation, Death calls for his three closest friends to do his job in his stead. While proficient at destruction, however, it becomes clear that they're not the best at the clean-up stage. Will they be able to get the world's death quota back on track?

A humorous novelette totalling approximately 10,000 words.

• Language: English
• Publisher: S.E. Batt
• Release date: Sep 25, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301472970

S.E. Batt

S.E. Batt loves all things light-hearted and humorous. When he's not writing, he's playing video games, talking to other writers, and generally wishing he was writing. He's a proud member of the Forward Motion online writer's group, and sends all of its members a digital thumbs-up.

Book preview

‘Til Death Does His Part

S.E. Batt

Copyright 2013 by S.E. Batt

Smashwords Edition

Table of Contents

1. Copyright

2. ‘Til Death Does His Part

3. Thanks

4. Other Works

5. Excerpt from A Hero Unto Death

‘Til Death Does His Part

***

Lady Galliway didn't act much like other ladies. For a start, she demanded to be called a Lady when she herself was quite young, the age of nineteen being a good deal younger than any other woman who gave themselves such a title. Secondly, she demanded herself be called a Lady, despite the fact that society had gotten past that phase long ago. Thirdly -- and this is, of course, taking into account that she's demanding to be called Lady Galliway in the twenty-first century -- she didn't do very lady-like things. While other Ladies (or people who would have been ladies) would have done nothing more than sit around with a mug of tea and natter about the weather and their pet dog, Lady Galliway was into something a little more exotic.

This was the reason why she was currently summoning Death himself.

She wasn't alone. She couldn't be alone. She wouldn't dare do such a thing without her friends. They provided moral support, a guiding hand, and the fulfilment of two innocent souls required for the ritual. Not that Death would claim any lives as part of it. In his line of work, a death didn't really mean all that much.

Is he here yet? Rachael asked, looking around the room. He's taking an awfully long time. I'm getting a bit scared, to be honest.

There's no need, Lady Galliway said. Death only claims people if it is their time. As long as you haven't got a nasty cough or the flu, I'm sure he won't touch you.

Oh, Rachael said. Well, I have a little bit of a cold, to be honest.

You'll be fine. And stop squirming. You're messing up the procedure.

Sorry, Rachael said. It's just that your bed is so comfy.

It is not a bed, Lady Galliway said over the bridge of her nose. Not at the moment, anyway. As of now, it is the vessel for the Grim Reaper to visit us through.

I think it's rather nice, Emily said, bouncing up and down on it. I'm sure he'll like the pillows. The lavender smell is lovely, too.

Silence, Lady Galliway said. I feel him approaching. I need you both to feel out for him. Can you do this for me?

The two friends placed their hands over the summoning circle. As stated earlier, Death does not demand its own work for sacrifice -- he instead asks for the people themselves to commit the deed, presenting him the corpse of an animal as proof of their mastery of his art. The occult website suggested shooting a bird or kidnapping a pet, but Lady Galliway didn't fancy any of that. In the middle of the summoning circle, acting as the sacrifice, was an unopened pack of honey-roast ham.

Well? Lady Galliway said. What do you feel?

Rachael and Emily closed their eyes, inhaled in unison, and exhaled again.

Hungry, Rachael said.

A bit bored, Emily added. To be honest.

I'd also like to know the make of your bed. So, I guess there's a little bit of jealously in there.

I meant Death, Lady Galliway said, staring at them through half-opened eyes. Do you feel Death?

I don't think the cold is quite that bad, said Rachael.

The Grim Reaper, Lady Galliway said though gritted teeth. Man in a robe with a scythe.

Oh, him? Not much, yet. What about you, Emily?

Nothing here. Except, she said, her back straightening. I just had the sensation of something very menacing entering the mansion.

Menacing? Lady Galliway said. Is it a ghost? Or perhaps, demonic of nature?

Oh no, I can feel him alright, Emily said. It's him.

And how do you know?

"Because he just said hello