My Soul is Bleeding Volume I

By E'ner

Iyces is her name. She is a young African American woman growing up in downtown Newport News VA; the heart of the ghetto. She married at a young age and had two kids by her husband. He was a very good husband and father until he became addicted to drugs. She did everything in her power to survive the mental and physical abuse that was thrown upon the kids and her. All she wanted to do was get through one day at a time and be there for their children. After so many years of abuse, she met a drug lord that introduced her to another world of drugs. She became a drug mule, delivering hundreds of kilos. She has had to kill in self defense on different occasions. She has been raped, beaten and left for dead. She has been abused in every way possible but, she survived. Her children survived also. Even though they made it, she has changed in many ways; She feel her heart becoming colder and colder. She feels that she did what she had to do in order to survive but, at what cost? She figured that this was a story worth telling.

• Language: English
• Publisher: E'ner
• Release date: Mar 13, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310499463

E'ner

I am married with two adult children. I love reading, writing, fashion, shoes and Make up. I started writing in 2009 and I have written two books so far. I love meeting new people, dancing, theater and styling hair. I I grew up in the East End area of Newport News also know as Bad Newz. I started writing because it is something that I have always wanted to do. I enjoy making my Fiction Characters come to life the a few tapping of a keyboard. I will continue to write as long as my readres are enjoying my books.

Book preview

Chapter 1

Their Daily Routine

Passion, Rashaad, wake up it’s time for you two to get ready for school, she yelled.

She has got to get them fed within 30 minutes so they can face the day. She wanted to get those kids the hell out of there so that they won’t have to endure another day of Miguel’s arguing. Miguel is her husband, whom she had been fussing with since the night before. He was a hard worker, a loving father, and a great husband. Well, this was before he became a full blown drug addict, yep you heard her. Before his addiction, he lived for his family and he had a high paying job and his family was his number one priority and she married him because he was a good man.

But somewhere along the way he lost his way and their life the way they knew it would change dramatically. The bad part is she doesn’t know when he really started doing drugs or why. When Iyces found out, he was in deep and he had managed to keep it from her for a long time. She wasn’t the type of wife that ran down behind her man or checked everything he said or did; she had no reason to, now she wish that she had not been so trusting. The one time she decided to trust it was the beginning of her ruin.

Come on ya’ll before the bus leaves!

She barely said as she yawns. It’s a damn shame how her kids are dragging their feet this mornings because they were up all night listening to Miguel belittle her.

Walking alone to work was something that she was beginning to become accustomed to. She worked as a school teacher in the day, warehouse worker at night and a hair stylist on the weekends. She was walking to work not because they didn’t own a car, not because Miguel had driven it to his wonderful job but, because the neighborhood fucken dealers were riding around in their car thanks to Miguel loaning it to them for drugs.

She didn’t want her kids to know that this is why she was walking to work again. They already hear the verbal disputes between them and they are too young to be let into their father’s spiraling drug addiction. It has gotten to the point where she hates to leave him at the house alone because she doesn’t know what will happen in her absence. As she briskly walk down Chestnut Avenue, past bums and baby mamas, she ask herself; What will be sold while I’m gone? She builds up a new anxious feeling.

She works too damn hard to be having to deal with this shit but, she is determined to keep a job to take care of her kids and keep the bills paid. The whole time she is at work, she worries and wonders if she will face unexplained abuse the moment that she turns the key in the lock. She has two more hours left before she gets off and to be honest with you, she is afraid to go home. But, she has to get there before the kids get out of school.

Damn! My nerves are all to pieces. She keeps asking; God what did I do to deserve this shit? she says.

As the time gets closer for her to leave, she begins to pray as she takes that journey back home and she continues to pray the entire walk up the driveway. She is scared to open the door but, she takes out her keys and braces herself before she walks in. She takes two steps inside and she is forced to take another one back because she is over powered by a strong air freshener! It’s so thick in the air that it chokes the hell out of her. Miguel is in the bathroom still getting high from the night before while she looks around the room to see what is missing and over where the TV sits used to be Rashaad’s game system with lots of games, now is an empty spot.

Got damn it, Rashaad is going to be so damn hurt because this is the fourth time Miguel has taken his system for drugs. She said.

He always comes up with some kind of story about what happened to it. He comes out of the restroom explaining, but before he could, she stops him because she doesn’t even want to hear any of his lies so she just walks away and prepare for the kids to get home. She has to hide her anger from her kids. Rashaad has learned to not say anything when his things come up missing but, she knows that he is still hurting inside.

This mutha fucker has been getting high for three days and he has spent his whole check and now he is selling our shit. It’s only 4:30 in the evening and it’s going to be another long ass night. She says to herself.

She goes into the kitchen and starts fixing dinner.

Hey mama, Passion comes in and greets her with a hug.

Well hello baby! She smiles while admiring how beautiful her little girl is.

They continue to chat while she started cooking dinner. Rashaad came home about 15 minutes after Passion and as he walks into the kitchen Passion and Iyces meets him with a tight hug.

What’s up, Rashaad says while picking Passion up because he loved his sister with everything he has. He looks over at his father and waits for him to explain the empty spot by the TV that he noticed as soon as he walked into the living room.

What are you looking at me for? Oh, the game system, it broke so it’s at the shop getting fix. Miguel explained without making eye contact with his son and she can see the pain in Rashaad eyes.

Okay pops; Rashaad tells his dad and walks over to his mama to see what’s for dinner.

She can’t even look at him because she is so ashamed and she is so tired of living like this because they deserve better. After the kids eat, she tells them that they can go out and play because she wanted them out of the house. Once they leave she is gonna confront Miguel about their son’s damn system and the fact that he was still getting high. He comes in the living room with his eyes popping out of his damn head and Iyces was mad as hell!

So how many drugs did your punk ass get for the game? She jumps in his face ready to brawl.

This nigga has the nerve to say Chill woman. You’re going to blow my high!"

I’m going to buy him a new one, I got this!"

I’m going to be the one who has to replace it you sorry ass mutha fucker. What the fuck do you mean you got this? The dope man gets all of your damn money, so how in the hell are you going to replace any damn thing?

He can be so damn stupid.

You have been walking for three damn days, when are you going to sit your ass down? Where the fuck is the car?

It’s broke down and my boy is going to fix it.

You must think that I am the dumbest Bitch in world? I know damn well the dealers got the car. How in the fuck are we supposed to get around?

She hates this man so much, she can’t do this shit any more and she wants out. She thought to herself.

Iyces walks out of the house and slams the damn door before she kills that man. He never have much to say when he is high, but tonight when he is out of drugs and shit to sell he will have a hell of a lot to say then.

She gets the kids and go to her sister-in-laws’ house, not even two hours later he comes over there looking crazy as hell asking her for money. Everybody knows he’s high or wanna get high when he does shit like this and it is so embarrassing for her to claim him as her children’s father. Just to rush him to get away from her and the kids, she gives him $20 and every 20 to 30 minutes he comes back for more and she ended up giving him over 200 dollars. You think that would be enough, but hell nawl! When he came back again the first thing she says is I am broke, I ain’t got shit but bills that I have to make sure gets paid. He goes home and started calling back to back and his family kept telling him that they weren’t there so she knows that he is mad as hell now!

Stop lying, I know that she’s in there. That’s my fucking family She hears him say to his sister over the phone. The kids and Iyces are terrified because they all know their daddy is not going to let it go. His high must have made him think he was Superman because the next thing that she knew, he was at the front door.

BANG! BANG! BANG!!

Tell that black bitch to bring her ass out here was all she could hear Miguel yell. Thank you Jesus no one budged to answer the door because Miguel had so many episodes that his family carried on their conversation as if Miguel wasn’t even outside. By now there is a crowd gathering and she is so damn embarrassed!

Get the fuck away from the door was all his family members could stay. It still didn’t stop him from kicking the door in, but they were ready for his ass. The kids and Iyces stayed in their hiding places because she didn’t want them to see the way that their daddy was carrying on. They went outside and made him leave and he went home and barricaded himself inside. He was scared that they were going to come for his ass especially since their front door is now a door mat, now he knows how it feels to live in fear. The kids and Iyces are going to stay there for the night with or without doors because they are too scared to be around that psycho, drug addict tonight.

The next day she goes to check on him and she knows that he was still mad because he wouldn’t let her in. She started to wonder if he was dead in there so they called the police. As soon as Miguel saw the police arrive he opens the door as if nothing happen. The house is destroyed because he tore up the whole house from top to bottom. She stayed so that she could clean up this mess before she brings the kids home and as soon as everyone leaves he gets up in her face cursing and fussing and he was calling her all kinds of bitches and whores like it was her name at birth.

You better take your black ass back to that nigga that you were with last night and bring back some money or you’re a dead whore Miguel huffed and puffed. Get the fuck out bitch; I ain’t playing with your ass.

Now she is scared to death because there is no other man.

You know damn well I was at your sister’s house she said with enough bass to sound confident.

You’re a got damn liar

He spat in her face while yelling, I’m going to fuck you up if you don’t hurry up and come back with some got damn money!

There was no hope so she left the house and as she is walking out the door he yells, That’s right bitch go get my damn money.

She didn’t know what to do so she was walking around in a damn daze. She has money but, she has to buy food and pay the bills. By now she is afraid for her life, she is crying and shaking so bad that she can hardly walk. God help me, I beg you to take this man out of my life for good, she said. She thought that she should return with the police, but that would have made him angrier than before and that’s more torturing for her and the kids. She walked around for about 20 minutes and then she went back home and he was waiting for her and he met her at the door.

Where’s my money bitch?

All I got is 20. She put the money on the empty entertainment stand and stood still; wishing that she could turn invisible.

You better had came back with my money. If you hadn’t I was gonna hurt your ass real bad he tells her.

Get the fuck out my way.

The way he was looking at her was enough for her to get the fuck out of this crazy ass man