A Generous Nature: Who You Are What You Can Be

By Antje Janssen

Many people ask 'Who am I and what am I here for? and then wait for the answers instead of creating the answers.

A Generous Nature is more than a book. It is a tool you can use to discover who you really are, what you really want and how you can create a future that thrills you.

It is easy to look at the world and see what is not working. It is easy to look at other people and see how they could be doing things differently. It is much more difficult to look at ourselves, yet it is vital, for we are the only ones whose behaviour we can change. To achieve new outcomes in our lives, even to change the world, we have to take responsibility for the part we play.

Using this profound but practical book you can enhance your experience of the things you like, and address the things you don't enjoy. You can overcomes fears, heal hurts and feel more powerful in everything you do. Almost effortlessly you will start to see the real you emerge: the person who loves life, relishes success, understands self, and has compassion for others.

A Generous Nature: Who You Are What You Can Be is for people who are prepared to look at themselves honestly and trust themselves to achieve greater things. Above all, it is for those who ardently desire to master their lives so that they in turn touch the lives of those around them with love, generosity, abundance, peace and joy.

Antje Janssen teaches people around the world to access their inner joy and happiness. A passionate, uplifting and insightful coach and trainer, Antje used her personal triumph over adversity and a traumatic past to develop the unique and easy-to-apply methodology outlined in the book and her signature course 'The Heart and Art of Happiness'. Antje lives with her family in Melbourne where she runs a wellbeing centre and organic café.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Antje Janssen
• Release date: Apr 5, 2014
• ISBN: 9780646920481

Book preview

A Generous Nature - who you are, what you can be

By Antje Janssen

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Smashwords Edition

Copyright © Antje Janssen 2002 & 2012

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Acknowledgements – 2nd edition

A big continuing thank you to contributors Verna Steel and Kurt Fisher, BA, MSW.

In addition to the people I thanked first time around, special mention must go to Elyse Walker for re-typing the entire manuscript and providing insights and advice along the way. Mike Hannaford, thank you for unfailing support on all levels and for helping to keep the dream alive. Thank you, both of you for being my rocks, my inspiration and for consistently filling my heart with wonder. I love you both.

I would like to acknowledge the amazing teachers, speakers and writers we have on this planet. We are rich with wisdom as never before and their generosity and willingness to share has been pivotal in my journey. I am indebted to those who have gone before, and offer my shoulders to be stood on, as I stand on the shoulders of these sages and teachers and look with wonder to the future that we are co-creating. A tiny portion of the writers who have influenced me is shown at the back of this book. May you find your own treasure-chest of inspiring people and may it always have room for just one more.

First published in Australia in 2002 by Michelle Anderson Publishing Pty Ltd. This revised edition published electronically 2012.

Copyright: Antje Janssen 2002 & 2012

First edition:

National Library of Cataloguing -in-publication data:

Janssen, Antje, 1961- ,

A generous nature –who you are, what you can be

ISBN 0 85572 338 6 ISBN for the second edition pending

Happiness, 2. Self-actualisation (Psychology). I. Title 158.1

Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION

GETTING TO KNOW YOU

Invitation to a journey

Just an ordinary person

What you truly desire from life

SETTING OUT

Clearing the past away

Things you'll need on your tour

Points of view about others

Our fickle perceptions

Points of view about you

The fireworks of expectations

In the driver's seat

Making lists

Points of view change

Groovy reflections of self

How attitudes can make even Monday OK

Beliefs and reasonable doubts

The equation of our experiences

How we bomb others

To be in Hamlet's castle

Digging up the past

Amazing past events

Textbook lives

What others may think

Noticing your behaviour

POVerty OF THE SPIRIT

Matching experience to desire

Something missing

Being accepted

The jungle of fear

Imaginitis

The staged drama

Keeping ourselves small

Hope in the cellar

Those nice Stepford people

The tough marshmallow

The sneaky chocoholic

SURVIVAL STRATEGIES

Proving, protecting and avoiding in the trenches

Taking precautions

Creating learned behaviours

Something to prove

Something to protect

Something to avoid

Taming tantrums

VIRTUAL REALITY

Making up stories

Clowning around

Needing acceptance

The Karaoke moment of truth

Welcome feedback

Secrets in the chest

Fairy tale fantasies

Using language wisely

TURNING THE CORNER

Keeping up appearances

Emotions in the temple

Honouring your body

Promoting health

Gratitude

Expressing appreciation

Valuing talents

Our commitments

Regrets

Putting things on ice

Excuses

GENEROSITY OF THE SPIRIT

Characteristics of true happiness

Looking without points of view

Seeing a bigger picture

Trusting intuition

Facing fears

Sweet new moments

Buying the ticket to action

Living for now

The price of happiness

Want vs. intent

The confidence boost

Expressing your bare soul

Asking for it

Action plans

Creating experiences

Impressions in the dark room

Identifying barriers

MY JOURNEY HOME

Forgiveness

Everything we need

A clear conscience

Expectations of love

Taking responsibility for our choices

Making new discoveries

Following through

Ideas about ourselves

Knowing nothing and everything

Generosity

Receiving

Being Worthy

Abundance

Commitment

Acknowledgement

THE TOOLBOX

Your purpose

Inspirational people

Listening

Celebrating your achievements

A waking commitment

Accessing Generosity of the Spirit

AU REVOIR

It gets easier

In and out

The end of the journey

YOUR AUTHOR, ANTJE JANSSEN

How to download further copies of the book and companion journal

ENDNOTES

Introduction

I have now been working with this system of achieving happiness and success for 13 lucky years. This revised edition of ‘A Generous Nature- Who You Are, What You Can Be’ includes learnings and further insights gained during that time. I am pleased to note that the original material stands the test of these years and remains largely unchanged.

Since the first edition was published, my life has changed enormously; I have a wellbeing centre with adjacent cafe, a corporate coaching and training consultancy and a life coaching practice. I have a loving partner, and my daughter and I are even closer than before, if that is possible. The principles in this book have enabled me to enjoy exploring my potential and achieve success, all the while staying happy, loved and loving.

In the last part of the book I share some examples of outcomes from coaching or workshops. These are deliberately vague so as to protect the identity of the people concerned, however I assure you they are all based on real situations.

‘A Generous Nature’ is written in plain language, and is fairly easy to read. The challenge with this book is in completing and persisting with the exercises. However, this is also where the most value is, so please use the companion journal well[1]. It all comes together at the end.

This book and the life coaching programme that derived from it have helped many people. I am eternally grateful to have been gifted with the most incredible, simple, beautiful yet profound insights that this approach to life contains.

It works for me, and has worked with the hundreds of life coaching clients I have been privileged to assist. It will work for you, too.

Getting To Know You

This is our introduction to each other. We clarify our destination.

Invitation to a journey

Happiness, joy and peace are not things to ‘get’; we already have them. Underneath our worries, stresses and upsets lies an unassailable happiness. Finding strength and grace amid everyday strife is not difficult. All we need is willingness, courage and insights into what stops us feeling satisfied in each moment. You provide the willingness and courage and I’ll help you gain the insights.

The beauty of life, friendships and family can be a never ending source of wonder and joy. We can choose to see the beauty or we can choose to see the despair. We will see our choices reflected in either case.

The exploration of what is possible for us is worth undertaking because the thrill in discovering and reaching for our potential nourishes a vital part of us.

You and I are capable of wonderful, soul-enriching things. Understanding yourself is the highest and most humbling goal you can achieve, and with it comes great compassion and the realisation that under the skin we are all the same, of equal value, of equal beauty.

To understand self at this level requires great courage. When we look into the unknown, especially within, we face our fears. In Nelson Mandela's inaugural Presidential speech of 1994, written by Marianne Williamson, were the words:

'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us.

We ask who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?'

Are you ready to see your light? If so, I invite you on this tour of discovery. It is a journey into the unknown or little understood: the motivations, desires, fears, and themes driving your life. You will explore what stops you from being the happiest you can be in any given moment and then how to move to even better experiences and ways of being.

Our journey will take us into the desolate landscape of your opinions and judgements, through the jungle of your fears, and finally to the lush and empowering terrain of your own free spirit. Along the way we will unravel some of the mystery of your behaviours, and why the world treats you as it does. With each step you will feel stronger and more at ease with who you are and then we will come face to face with your magnificence.

My wish is that you use this book as a guide to discover the truth for yourself. A tour guide can only point out the features of a landscape; the traveller alone can experience the hills, valleys and secret nooks where truth may lie.

Just an ordinary person

I have presumed to write this book even though I am not the Dalai Lama, governments don't ask me for advice, I have never made a hit record, and you would not notice me in a crowd. I am an ordinary person yet I have learned how to turn my experience into something extraordinary. I love the way I look at life, how I process it and give my utmost to the pursuit of true self-expression and joy. I have a wonderful life but I had to make it so, for I did not always experience life as wonderful.

I had a traumatic childhood, with many incidents of violence, disrespect for my person, premature awakening of my sexuality, and loss of those I loved.

At the age of six, I lost both of the people who had raised me up to that point. I travelled alone from Germany to Australia, to join a family that, although physically related to me, was no closer than a group of strangers. Thus began a period of intense fear, and confusion that I should find myself taken from a loving and supportive household to a very troubled one.

I was raised as a Catholic, and my natural inclination was to look to God for the answers to my troubles. The intermediaries between God and I didn’t live up to my expectations. By the age of 14 I became disillusioned with what I considered was the inflexibility and unfairness of the Catholic Church. At age 22 I was neophyte Rosicrucian (an organisation that explores spirituality); at 24 I read Krisnamurti and studied metaphysics. At 27 I mindlessly followed a self-appointed guru, at 29 I gave up and decided that because my life had had so much violence, emotional and sexual mishaps there really was no god, at least not, I reasoned, a loving god.

It was easy as an adult to feel sorry for myself and to blame my circumstances on an unhappy childhood. Certainly there were many people who understood and were sympathetic. I was, however, committed to my spiritual journey, and eventually this meant that I could not in all honesty continue blaming others for how my life had turned out.

At some stage I had to take on responsibility for who I was, regardless of what had gone before, because until I did, how could I hope to grow? How could I create a future I wanted if I was so attached to the past?

I had been to clairvoyants and soothsayers, looking for answers to what would happen in my life, what my destiny might be. There was too much trauma, upset, suffering and inexplicable events for me to consider that I could influence my current circumstances, much less my future. My future felt like an abyss, full of potential disasters and the best I could do was hope to avoid them.

It was no wonder that I reached out to all manner of comfort-givers: I was falling short of my potential, and the world was not living up to my expectations. Growing up, I had mimicked the views of others, and once grown up, parroted the teachings of mystics as if I understood what they meant but I hadn't internalised the wisdom. I was like an actor reading a script.

I had a degree, and was further qualified as a masseuse, had been married and had a daughter, had run my own business but had done all this with a deep insecurity that I masked from the world and myself. My own feelings and motivations were as foreign to me as an Icelander in the Sahara. I was conditioned to put on my 'happy face' every morning.

Yet I was not happy. The turning point came when questioning my sanity, jobless and divorced, bereft of everything save a bed, some clothes, and an estranged daughter, I had to make a fresh start at the age of 29.

The path I took had many guides in the form of friends, books, family, chance comments by strangers, seminars, and my intuition. My journey to this point took many years; yours need not.

The system of processing life, as a recipe for happiness that I about in this book, came to me one night in my sleep. It appeared in the form of a diagram. I woke up and wrote it down. In the many years since the gift of this system, the only changes I have made to the diagram are to add a few extra words that explain more clearly each state of being. I continue learning about this way of processing life, and the rich potential it contains, and exploring its depths.

The diagram is included at the back of this book, and as we proceed, you will come to understand how the elements work together.

Although the approach I take is novel, the material is universal. The principles are thousands of years old, and have remained a part of our collective wisdom because they work. What is required of you is your willingness to make your spiritual journey a priority.

As in