Butt Naked in Da City
()
About this ebook
Funny stories about the jams Buck Wile gets into because of "Ol' Eleven." Can a Black man get any love? Not if he's Buck Wile. Ladies may hate to love Buck Wile, but can't help themselves. Brothers will want to create their own Lady Cop fantasy after reacing Buck Wile's "Lady Officer."
Excerpt:
And I’m going to sue that singer Charlie Wilson too. He’s the one who put the notion in my head about going out to the mall and meeting some chicks. And just like he sung, there she was sitting in the food court sipping lemonade. Well my mama had been riding my butt about me needing a job, so I said, let me kill two birds with one stone and go fill out some job applications and see some fine women too. I had on my nice blue business suit when I introduced myself. She was coy and pretended to be uninterested, but I made sure my eleven was nicely outlined in my pants as I sat down at her table. I told her I was into investments. That’s not a lie. I spend a lot of time in the study of making money. Me and an older chick spent a weekend down at the casino investing her husband’s money. She told him she had gone to Louisiana to attend her aunt’s funeral. Well she did go to the wake. But that’s another story.
So my girl sipped her lemonade. I asked her name. She said, “Celie.”
“What kind of countrified name is that?” I blurted out before thinking.
“So. My mama liked the Color Purple when she was carrying me. If you don’t like my name, you sho ain’t got to call it. It’s plenty other women out here with prettier names looking for some broke busters.”
Charles Harvey
Charles W. Harvey is a native Houstonian and a graduate of the University of Houston. At UofH he studied fiction under the guidance of Rosellen Brown and Chitra Divakaruni. In 1987, Charles was a 1st place prize recipient of PEN/Discovery for his short story Cheeseburger, which went on to be published in the Ontario Review. In 1989 Charles Harvey was awarded the Cultural Arts Council of Houston Grant for Writers and Artists. Also in 1989 he was a finalist in the MacDonald's Literary Achievement Awards. Charles has been published in Soulfires, Story Magazine SHADE, High Infidelity, The James White Review, and others. He is the author of the novels The Butterfly Killer, The Road to Astroworld, and Antoine's Double Trouble. He is also the author of several story and poetry collections. He also writes for the stage and screen.
Read more from Charles Harvey
Betty's House Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMaura And Her Two Husbands Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSun Sign, Moon Sign: Discover the personality secrets of the 144 sun-moon combinations Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Roommates and Collected Stories Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Catnip Gray Cat Detective: The Tabitha Davenport Affair Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsEbenezer Jenkins' Christmas in Chicago Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBlack Queen Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Power Plant Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsUrban Tales Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBreakout Strategy: Meeting the Challenge of Double-Digit Growth Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsXylene X Band: A Fictionalized Chapter in the History of X Band Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings3AM - Poems and Stories From the Other Mind Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCheeseburger and Other Stories Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Foursome Plus Poems Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDavid, Jonathan, and Sylvester Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRoommates Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsQ is a Bad Letter and Other QQ Crazy Stories Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAntoine's Double Trouble Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsButt Naked In Da City Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to Butt Naked in Da City
Related ebooks
Butt Naked In Da City Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPerfect Husband Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Adele From Scratch Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFatal Chocolate Obsession Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Southern Gentlemen Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHeat Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTaken by Best Friends Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5The Trouble With Before Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Case of the American Daddy Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Dopeboy Stole My Heart Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Nick Of Time Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A Surprise Wife Share Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCougar On A Hot Tin Roof: Magic and Mayhem Universe Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsForsaken Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Killer in You: Love in Midlife, #3 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSisters (A Hot Wife Romance) Revised Working Girls: Book 3 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSurge Epilogue Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Wiccan Witch of the Midwest Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsShort and Not So Sweet: A Short Story Collection Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Kiss the Year Goodbye Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Good Girl's Plan Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFreeuse Abby and the Actors: The ABCs of Free Town, #1 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFucking Sweet Brandy Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsUI 101 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRide Me without Remorse: A Single Dad Needs No Seduction Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCruel Wife, Slave Husband Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Believe Belong Become: Beauty for Ashes Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWild And Free: Wilder Brothers, #1 Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Young & Dumb (The Cartel Publications) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Will, Middle Name Trouble Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
African American Fiction For You
Razorblade Tears: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Salvage the Bones: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Other Black Girl: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Lagos Wife: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Leave the World Behind: A Novel Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Everything's Fine Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Blacktop Wasteland: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Pomegranate: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Deep Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Good House: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Summary of Black Cake: by Charmaine Wilkerson - A Comprehensive Summary Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSing, Unburied, Sing: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Love Songs of W.E.B. Du Bois: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Lovecraft Country: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5We Are Not Like Them: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Girl, Woman, Other: A Novel (Booker Prize Winner) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Cry, the Beloved Country Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Wild Women and the Blues: A Fascinating and Innovative Novel of Historical Fiction Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Queenie Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mama Day: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Devil in a Blue Dress (30th Anniversary Edition): An Easy Rawlins Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Final Revival of Opal & Nev Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Spook Who Sat by the Door, Second Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Short Stories of Langston Hughes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Stories from the Tenants Downstairs Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Not So Perfect Strangers Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Daughter of a Daughter of a Queen: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5My Soul to Take: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Another Brooklyn: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5In Love & Trouble: Stories of Black Women Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Reviews for Butt Naked in Da City
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Butt Naked in Da City - Charles Harvey
Buck Wile
Butt Naked in Da City
by
Charles Harvey
* * * * *
SMASHWORDS EDITION
* * * * *
PUBLISHED BY:
Wes Writers & Publishers on Smashwords
Buck Wile…Butt Naked in Da City
Copyright © 2014 by Charles Harvey
Smashwords Edition License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author's work.
Disclaimer
This is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer's imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, organizations, or locales is entirely coincidental.
All Characters depicted in sexual acts are adults 18 years or older.
Please subscribe to the mailing list for exciting updates. Thank you. Subscribe
Author’s Website www.charlesharveyauthor.com
Epigram
And when I'm in that thang, I'll make that body sang
Lil’ Wayne
Lady Cop
Table of Contents
Epigram
11 Inches will get you in a Mile of Trouble
The Hot Seat
What’s Your Name Bitch
Punked out on the Downlow
Squeezing a Dollar until the Eagle’s Pussy Grins
Uplifting the Race Buck Naked
Lady Officer
The raw naked sex disgusted Maura, but she could not stop looking.
Now on Preorder
http://www.charlesharveyauthor.com/maura-and-her-two-husbands.html
Buck Wile Butt Naked (11 inches can get you in a mile of trouble)
Why am I running down the street butt naked with a face full of flour? I’ll tell you why. It’s because the bitch lied to me and told me she wasn’t married. Here I am thinking I’m going to get a piece of free kitty cat. I even wined and dined her. Took her ass to Burger Kong. And not just any Burger Kong. I took her to the nice one with wifi, flat screen TV’s and nice plush seats. Bitch ate up eleven dollars worth of food and got six of them chocolate chip cookies to take with her.
My name is Buck Wile by the way. I’m Buck Wile Jr. named after my mama’s favorite side nigga. I know, you’re saying wait! Hold up just a funky minute. What do you mean your Mama named you after her favorite side nigga? Who is your Daddy? Well the man that raised me is named Claude Jones. He is my legal daddy, because he is my mama’s husband. He is also the real daddy of two of my brothers and one of my sisters. But he is not my real daddy nor is he the daddy of my other three brothers and two sisters. However the rest of them niggas carry the Jones last name. I carry the last name of Wile, because my mama loved her some Buck Wile. She told me one time she wished she could have had five or six more kids by him. She said she was surprised she didn’t, the way he could whip that thing on her and make her wet.
You’re saying wait a minute, Buck, your mama talk to you like that? Hell yeah. My mama will tell you straight up what’s up. She don’t believe in none of that nicey-nice baby talk. She’d call one of us a mother-fucker just as quick as she would call Claude Jones one. Then she’d wrap you up in her arms and tell you how much she loved you. She was just an honest woman. So when she told her husband, she was naming me after his ex-best friend Buck Wile, he knew he had two choices--stay or leave. He chose to stay. She laid it out to him this way.
Nigga, who else but me is going to love your ugly ass? Other bitches will play with you for your money. But they ain’t gonna love you and give you none of this.
She’d point to between her legs. You used to be a pretty nigga, but look at you now.
Claude would hang his head in shame, but he knew what Betty Mae Jones said was the gospel truth. He used to be a handsome man. He still had that six-foot frame and those one hundred ninety pounds of muscles. And he had a nice walnut complexion all over, except his face. An industrial accident at General Chemical where he worked had left white splotches all over his face and melted off one of his ears and his nose. He was left with a black button nose. The nigga looked like a poodle with no hair instead of a man. But he got plenty of coins from the accident--Nine hundred and ninety grand, plus he kept his old job where they paid him forty-five dollars an hour to do the same dangerous job that got him hurt in the first place. Wouldn’t no other mother-fucker work near the acid tanks.
But now that I think about it, I’m glad Claude wasn’t my daddy. He was weak and didn’t have no game. He might have been ugly in the face, but I know his dick still worked. I’d overhear him working my mama over. Shit, lots of women would have overlooked his dog-face for them Benjamins and that dick. But Claude just figured mama was right. That’s why he didn’t say much when I was born and she announced to him that she was naming me Buck Wile. After all I looked like Buck. I’m black as a sable cat, six feet-one and only a buck fifty. But I got one other characteristic from Buck Wile Senior, and that’s that thing between my legs. Dudes, turn your jealous eyes to the floor. Ladies, just imagine a long green banana in the produce department of your local grocery. Now imagine you done took that banana home with you and laid it on the dresser. You done watched it turn from Chris Brown yella to Chris Rock black. You pick it up to throw it away, but it’s still hard and smooth in your hands as you caress it. You peel it back a little and let the head come out just before you taste it. When I was a little little bitty boy running around the house naked, my mama would sometimes slap my ass and say, You Buck Wile, bastard you.
I thought at first she was mad at me about something. But now I know she was just thinking about my daddy.
And so that’s another reason, I’m running down Lexington Avenue butt naked. Women just can’t get enough of this ol’ Eleven. Y’all just like that chicken head I took to Burger Kong. Y’all will lie and do all kind of conniving stuff just to get this stuff. Yeah she lied and told me she wasn’t hooked up with nobody. So here I go. After our Burger Kong date, well after she buys me some gas--shit that Lincoln Navigator whip drinks gas like a freak drinks piss. We wind up at her place. Now my first clue ought to have been that nasty cigar in the ashtray on the kitchen table and a pair of work shoes by the back door. I was just getting ready to ask questions, when she excused herself to run to the bathroom. So I sat at the table staring at