Bearly Obsessed: Bear Chronicles Book 1

By Gary W Moore

Take a glimpse into a world that may be foreign to you, even though it takes place in Houston. Follow along with this tight-knit group of gay men and the year that will change their lives forever. But be forewarned, these big, burly, bear men aren’t your garden-variety gays.

They’ve been through tough times and their close bonds confirm this. However, nothing’s prepared them for what happens early in the New Year when their lives are shattered by a serial killers rampage through Houston. The police struggle to find the clues needed to catch this mad man, but with some help and a chance meeting, they finally have an ID. The only question after that is, can they catch him before he kills again?

Will everyone in this family of bears make it through to the New Year? Filled with humor, danger, love and heartbreak, this story will leave you wanting more.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gary W Moore
• Release date: Feb 20, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301475445

Gary W Moore

Gary W. Moore grew up in a small town near the boot heal of Missouri, but ended up there because of tragedy. His mother died when he was 3 and then his father when he was 11. He was considered a change of life baby as they were both well into their 40’s when he came along.As he was the youngest in the family, the three oldest siblings were married and moved out before he was old enough to walk, so he didn’t really know them. After his father’s death he was forced to move in with his oldest sister and her family. His two closest siblings (in age) were also in the moving van.So a three bedroom house in St. Louis was being replaced by a two bedroom trailer. Two adults and 5 children living in a home that comfortably fit 3 people. Thankfully, this would only last for a few months. His sister and her husband were in the process of having a home built. Due to the new additions, changes were made, and the two girls would each be getting their own bedroom, while the three boys would be stuck in one. The math never did make sense to him, but the boys got along, where the girls didn’t. So, logically it was sound.The change from a city of hundreds of thousands to a town of 300 was quite strange. And the fact that there were no minorities seemed odd. Some of Gary’s closest friends in St. Louis were black, and here it was nothing but white faces.School was quite different as well because of the size. Instead of housing only elementary or middle school students, this one held everyone from Kindergarten to 12th grade, and only had around 200 students. The Kindergarten classroom was next door to the Home Ec and Shop. The school Gary left in St. Louis had over 500 students and that was only an elementary. His class in this small town was even small compared to the others in the school with only 13 students.He moved away from the small town after a close friend threatened to ‘out’ him. It was a scary situation, knowing how many in the community would enjoy making him an example to the youngins not to try homosexuality. So, he moved to Florida and stayed with his oldest brother and his family for a while. He fell in love with Florida and resided there for several years. But in 1996 he moved to Houston and finally learned how hot it gets in the South.He never knew he would like to write, but a friend suggested he come up with a story so they could do some homemade videos and put them on the internet. A book is what he ended up with, and has decided to keep the series going. Five books have been written, along with a companion book, but more stories are possible.Many locations mentioned in the books do exist, but some have been created for flavor, so don’t go looking for King’s Alley if you ever visit Houston. But if you do visit and want to have Gary’s favorite breakfast, go to Spanish Flowers and order Chilaquiles, you won’t be disappointed. Sorry, Sonya doesn’t work there any longer.

Book preview

BEARLY OBSESSED

Bear Chronicles Book 1

By

Gary W Moore

SMASHWORDS EDITION

* * * * *

PUBLISHED BY:

Gary W Moore at Smashwords

Bearly Obsessed

Copyright © 2020 by Gary W Moore

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with others, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters are productions of the author’s imagination and used fictitiously.

Table of Contents

Prologue – Darkness

Chapter 1 – Houston Transplants

Chapter 2 – A Killer Time

Chapter 3 – Time Heals All Wounds

Chapter 4 – In The Closet

Chapter 5 – Change Is Good

Chapter 6 – Boot Scootin’ Halloween

Chapter 7 – The Returned

Chapter 8 – Not Ready

Chapter 9 – Giving Thanks

Chapter 10 – Sleeping With Darkness

Chapter 11 – The Day After

Chapter 12 – All Good Things

Epilogue – Wisdom Delivered

About The Author

Prologue – Darkness

Blood flew from the knife as the murderer yanked it out of the latest victim; an elderly woman sleeping in a twin bed, whom he called grandma. He stood tall next to the bed waiting for her gurgling to cease. A few gulps of blood-filled breaths ended with a stillness that screamed for relief.

After cleaning off the knife with the pink floral-engulfed comforter, the killer turned and left the small bedroom. Passing through the kitchen, he glanced over at his mother’s dead body in a pool of blood on the floor near the sink. He paused to make sure she wasn’t breathing before continuing to check on his father in the living room.

Blood splattered the walls and ceilings, while the television projected a happier world with Sheldon and his Big Bang Theory co-stars. The mother’s demise started in this room but ended in the kitchen.

The killer stood next to his father in his recliner and suddenly slammed the knife into his chest. His father moaned out as the knife made several more wounds in his already mangled body. After the fifth strike, all movement stopped, and the only sound was that of the laugh track reacting to the latest joke from the hit TV show.

He turned toward the couch and stepped over to it and had a seat. His hands were bloody, which was dealt with via a hand towel on the coffee table next to an unopened bag of Doritos.

Before reaching for the bag, the killer touched a wound above his right eye, inflicted during the original altercation with his father that began his darkness filled killing spree. He wiped the spot with the towel, revealing a deep gash that needed attention.

The bathroom was down a short hall from the living room, and he quickly made his way to it to deal with his injury. The light was already on, so he stepped up to the sink and looked at his reflection.

His dark hair was matted and hung down to his neck, while his shaggy beard nearly traveled to his chest. Blood splatter covered his flesh and clothes, so he knew a shower was necessary. After undressing, he stepped into the shower that was all too familiar. He hadn’t lived there in years, but decals from his youth still clung to the walls.

Once finished and dressed, the wound above his head was bandaged, although it should’ve received stitches. He had a muscular physique along with tattoos, so a scar or two wasn’t a concern to him.

Leaving the bathroom, he walked up the stairs to the second floor and into his parent’s bedroom. A large family photo hung on the wall, and he took it down and set it on the floor. A safe built into the wall was opened using a code he knew well.

My birthday was a really bad choice on your part, dad.

He stepped into a walk-in closet, gabbed a gym bag and returned to the safe. He removed all the cash, and jewelry and placed everything into the bag.

Damn, there has to be at least fifty-thousand dollars here. Nice.

Once the bag was closed, he left the safe open with the photo on the floor and headed downstairs.

While crossing the living room to leave, he grabbed the bag of Doritos and his keys from the coffee table. As he stepped out the front door he shouted, Catch ya on the flip side.

There was no reply.

The home was a nice two-story colonial with a huge front porch. The walkway up to the house was illuminated with accent lights, which he ignored and traveled across the grass to his car.

As he didn’t want to bring any attention to himself or the house, he quietly started the vehicle and backed out of the very long driveway. The nearest house was about a hundred yards away, so the sounds of his family dying might have gone unheard.

After several minutes traveling through the town that influenced his life, he arrived at the Interstate. He sat there looking at the signs, unsure which direction to go. He pulled a coin out of his ash tray and said, Heads we go north, tails we go south.

The coin was tossed into the air as the future lay in the hands of fate.

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Chapter 1 – Houston Transplants

When one drove on Houston’s highways, they took their life in their hands and hoped for the best. One wrong move could end in a road rage incident, and to a jail cell or worse.

Kevin thought this as he watched a red Porsche piss off every other driver on the road, swerving around cars and swooping in front of others. A semi was treated similarly, even though it couldn’t react like a car or small truck.

He ignored the ignorance and stared at downtown Houston, his home for many years. The concrete and glass skyscrapers glowed with a crimson blush from the setting sun behind him. The air had grown cool and clear as dusk fell upon the Bayou City. His life started up north, but the ‘Show Me’ state was replaced with the ‘Lone Star’ one after receiving his doctorate.

Kevin took the downtown exit, passing Travis and Louisiana onto Brazos. His headlights turned on automatically as the sun disappeared below the horizon, reminding him how short the days were this time of year. The second week of the New Year was over, but he still caught himself when writing the year on documents; 2008 couldn’t easily be changed to 2009, but thankfully the assistant at the office had white-out.

Kevin thought about the weekend as he parked his car near the gate that led into the courtyard of his apartment complex. He could afford a lavish house in one of Houston’s many upscale neighborhoods, but this place was his home, and he had no desire to move away from ‘family.’ It was also very affordable; he wrote one check to cover the entire year.

The two-story complex was old but dripped with charm. He strolled through the well-maintained garden that set in the center of the courtyard with its groups of colorful pansies bordering the mostly green foliage. Pansies were the go-to flower for the winter months, as most others couldn't endure the cooler weather. A set of stairs flanked either side of the garden for tenants living on the second floor, and all doors opened onto the courtyard.

Passing an apartment on the ground floor, he heard a pleasant voice say, Hello, Kevin, how was your week?

Kevin looked to see Auntie M standing in his doorway, and stopped to say, It was great, but I’m so glad it’s Friday. I’m ready for the weekend.

Auntie M, the older gentleman who owned the complex, dressed very colorful and almost always had a kerchief tied around his neck. He was effeminate at times, appeared to be well-educated, and no one knew much else about him other than he owned the complex prior to his partner's death several years earlier. Most people in the complex called him M.

So, big plans for this weekend, Kevin?

Kevin smiled. I’m spending it with my boyfriend, we’re going to Galveston.

That sounds wonderful.

I’m going to talk to him about meeting the guys. They are to the point of thinking I made him up or something.

Why has he not met them already? They are your family.

Well, M, he’s not really out yet, so he’s been hesitant to meet anyone. He’s also concerned about people finding out because of what he does.

Oh, is he military?

No, he’s more or less in advertising. It’s kind of complicated, but we all know how difficult coming out can be.

It is probably the most difficult thing a gay person has to do. It’s sad that we have to, but no one knows you until they know you’re gay.

Exactly. I am proud of how far he has come, and look forward to sharing my life with him.

I look forward to meeting him someday, but let me not keep you from your plans. M fanned the air toward Kevin, urging him to his apartment. Make sure to dress warm; that cold front’s moving in, and they say it will drop almost twenty degrees as it passes.

I will, M. Thanks, and have a great evening.

You too, dear, M said as he stepped back into his apartment.

Kevin continued toward his own, looking forward to the weekend. Although his apartment was on the ground floor, he went to the steps and the apartment directly above his.

He knocked twice and the door opened. A smiling Steve looked at Kevin and said, To what do I owe the honor of your visit?

Kevin laughed, entered and stepped into the hug being offered. After delivering a kiss to Steve’s cheek, he moved to the bar and plopped down in one of the stools. Since I’ll be heading out soon, thought I’d just stop by since I haven’t seen you much this week.

Please don’t tell Paul, he’d be jealous as hell.

Kevin laughed along with Steve after his comment. Paul was the one in his close group of friends he had known the longest, and always gave Steve crap no matter if it was honest, warranted or requested.

So, you and your beau are going to Galveston?

Yes, and I’m looking forward to every minute of it.

When are we going get some goodies on this mystery man?

As Steve stood across the island in the kitchen, Kevin answered, His name is Coy Featherston.

Coy? Like in the fish?

Kevin laughed at the comment, while staring at Steve’s twisted face. Like most of Kevin’s friends, Steve was a big man and had the same build as Kevin, maybe a few pounds lighter. He had dark hair, brown eyes, and always wore a goatee, but on occasion a full beard. Steve was big-hearted, but not very spiritual. He came from a Mormon background but thought all religions were pretty much a joke. Kevin hadn’t given up hope on helping him think differently.

Since I won’t be back in time for brunch on Sunday, tell the guys we should try to do dinner Sunday night. I should be back home by five.

"Fine, I will. Tell me something else about this Coy fish guy.’

While shaking his head, Kevin replied, He’s over six-feet tall, has a football player’s build, is drop-dead gorgeous, and you’ll all love him.

When do we get to meet him?

He’s going to be leaving soon for a trip out of the states for a few months, but as soon as he’s back we’ll have a dinner at Victor and Hector’s and I’ll bring him.

Good, Steve replied, while smiling and clapping his hands together. You’ve been dating forever, so about time we meet him.

He’s just really nervous. This whole world is new to him, so he’s taking baby steps.

We were all there at one time or another, so completely understand.

I knew you would. Kevin looked at the clock on the wall and said, I’d love to sit here and gab for hours, but I better go shower before I meet Coy at his place.

Make sure and wash your mussy.

You are terrible; do you know that?

Steve smiled and said, Blame Paul for that, he’s the one that brought it out in me.

I will, Kevin joked.

Kevin got up, they again hugged, and he headed out the door. A quick trip down the stairs and he was in his apartment, headed toward the shower. The weekend was waiting, and so was the love of his life.

Paul checked his look in the full-length mirror. A smile came to his bearded face as he was quite content. He was glad it was chilly enough to wear a jacket, as this helped to hide his love handles. Staring at his midsection while giving it a pat with both hands, he said, Big fella, you need to get your ass to the gym.

As far as height to weight ratio goes, Paul was the heaviest in the group but had never really been bothered by it. He knew health concerns might become a reality as he got older, but the guys he was interested in wanted a heavyset man. What was a bear to do?

He double-checked his well-trimmed very full beard before heading to the kitchen to grab his keys off the hook next to the refrigerator. He lived in the Heights, a pretty gay-friendly area but nothing compared to the Montrose area where he was meeting the guys. He was happy to only visit the gay ghetto, as he and others called it.

His mobile phone rang on the island, so he moved toward it to answer the call, as his keys were already in his pocket. Hey, Ronnie?

Evening, Paul. I wanted to make sure you didn’t forget about dinner tonight. I just spoke to Steve, and he should be here in a few minutes.

I didn’t forget dinner, but I did almost forget my phone. Do you remember that it was only a few years ago we didn’t have cell phones?

Times are changing.

Right, Paul replied with a laugh. I’m just now walking out the door.

Victor and Hector are here as well, and we are seated in the bar area.

Order me a drink and I’ll be there in two shakes, maybe three.

I will place your order with the bartender as soon as we hang up.

See you guys in a few!

Drive carefully.

Will do. Laters. Paul disconnected the call, put the phone in his jacket pocket, and headed out. He drove on Studemont toward Montrose and realized he was speeding, but didn’t slow down until he spotted a police car pulling over a motorcycle. He smiled at his good fortune, glad the biker got the ticket he would have if he’d left the house a few seconds earlier. Thank you, Ronnie! he said to no one.

He continued into the Montrose area, passing the gay bars and shops on Pacific Street before pulling into the restaurant’s parking lot. He didn’t see Steve vehicles, and was delighted he had arrived before him.

Steve stepped inside, leaving the brisk evening air outside and embracing warmth from a fireplace near the front of the restaurant. The host saw him, and Steve said, Actually, my group is already seated, and I know where they are.

The thin, well-dressed man replied, The usual spot, right?

What can I say, we are creatures of habit.

Steve walked through the restaurant, an older home that had been remodeled into an eatery many years prior. It was a hotspot for a lot of people before making an evening of bar hopping. Most of the staff at Baba Yega’s were gay, so everyone felt at ease while dining.

The restaurant had only a handful of tables open, so the volume was above what most would welcome. A familiar face caught Steve’s attention, and he nodded to acknowledge them but kept walking, as a conversation with an acquaintance wasn’t necessary.

Upon entering the middle section of the restaurant, he spied the table where everyone was seated. Hector smiled when seeing him, as he sat directly facing the doorway.

Hector was the youngest and shortest of the group at five-seven. He had dark hair, beautiful brown skin, and dark brown eyes. His goatee was flawless and matched his hair exactly, thanks to a special formula from his hair stylist. He was everyone’s favorite cook but gave any credit he received to his mother and wished his tamales were half as good as hers.

Steve arrived, and everyone stood up to give and receive a hug, possibly accompanied with a kiss. Most patrons didn’t think anything of this, since a full-blown gay bar shared the parking lot.

Steve hugged Victor, the tallest of the group topping out at six-five. He was quite nimble and carried his weight well for the mountain of a man that he was. Always sporting a full beard, he didn’t shy away from its salt and pepper. He and Hector had been a couple for a few years.

Paul, after their hug, said, Fashionably late as usual.

At least I’m in fashion.

Yeah, you’re in fashion, old fashion. You are so old when you fart all that comes out is dust.

Do you need me to take you to the restroom and change your diaper?

Depends, Paul replied, just as Ronnie said, Would you both mind ceasing your war of words and have a seat?

Paul looked at Ronnie and said, He started it.

Victor asked him, Paul, why must you always be an instigator?

It’s what I live for.

Hector laughed at his reply. Victor turned and said, Don’t encourage him.

I also live for…

Ronnie interrupted him and said, Yes, we know.

Why does sex scare you, Ronnie? Paul asked, finally seated.

It does not, I just prefer it remain in the bedroom and not the dining room.

Hey, I’ve done it in every room, replied Paul. I don’t like to limit myself.

Steve asked, Can we steer the conversation to something else, like anything but Paul and his conquests.

Before Paul could reply, Victor asked, Did Kevin spill anything about his mysterious boyfriend?

Steve said, He actually did. He said his name was Coy, which I didn’t even know was a name.

Isn’t that a fish? asked Hector.

Indeed, it is, replied Ronnie.

Did he mention a last name? asked Victor, with a raised eyebrow.

Feather something. I think.

Victor shook and said, No, can’t be.

What? asked Paul, while everyone looked at Victor.

There used to be a football player name Coy Featherston, he played for the Bison. He had a nickname of ‘The Vulture’ and was an amazing player. I know it can’t be him, but it’s funny that the name is so close.

Why can’t it be him? asked Paul.

A gay football player, replied Victor, I can’t see that happening.

Many men are closeted, but it would not keep them from playing a sport they excel at, said Ronnie.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d love for that to be the case. Hell, to meet Coy Featherston even without him dating Kevin would be awesome.

Down, boy, joked Paul.

Steve rolled his eyes at Paul’s comment, while Hector grabbed Victor’s arms and said, He’s just a big fanboy of football, that’s all, Paul.

That’s exactly right, replied Victor. Wouldn’t you want to meet a famous football player, Paul?

I don’t watch enough to know any players by name. I only know them when they’ve done something bad and make the evening news.

Like Michael Vick? asked Steve.

Exactly.

Ronnie asked, Is that the one connected to dog fighting?

Yes, replied Victor. He would’ve had a great career, but instead will go down as an infamous abuser of animals.

And we all know his name, said Paul, which more or less proves my point.

Hector, after taking a drink of his tea, asked, How can anyone do something like that? Do they think dogs don’t have feelings or something?

They’re evil, like most humans, replied Steve. I mean, people love seeing two men punch each other until one is knocked out. Humans just love war, pain and death.

Darkness, party of one, said Paul.

The group chuckled.

Steve added, But I’m not wrong. However, we can change the subject as this really isn’t an appropriate topic for Friday night conversation.

Ronnie said, My thoughts exactly.

Steve tapped Ronnie’s arm on the table and said, Sorry, I had a bad day so I’m venting.

No need to apologize, Steve.

The waiter stopped by, as all chairs but one was filled, and asked, Is everyone accounted for?

Yes, we are all here, replied Ronnie.

Great. If you guys are ready, I can take your order right now.

The guys placed their orders, and the waiter whisked off to put them in. The restaurant was casual dining, with the area they sat in being a space between two structures with a heavy canvas material acting as a roof. It was done in a way to look professional, rather than anything temporary. A tree grew out of the ground in the corner and proceeded up through the roof, where its limbs could gather sunlight. Its diameter was a foot or more.

The roar in the restaurant continued, as everyone clambered to be heard over the others. Hector had to repeat his sentence as most didn’t hear it the first time. He said, I was talking about that guy they found murdered last week.

Steve replied, I heard something about it in the news, but they didn’t really go into much detail. Did you hear something about it?

A lot.

Spill the beans, said Paul.

He was part of the local bear group and his name was either Roger or Robert. His body was found somewhere off Two-Eighty-Eight. He had been stabbed eight or more times, and there were marks on his wrists and ankles. He was posed in a weird manner, with his feet together and his knees flat against the ground. His right arm pointed straight out away from him, while the other was next to his side. They followed the direction he pointed, and they found his clothes neatly stacked with his wallet setting on top. The only thing missing from the wallet was his driver’s license.

Was that an effort to hide the victim’s identity? asked Ronnie.

They aren’t sure.

Steve jumped in, Serial killer.

Everyone looked at him.

He said, Have you guys never seen Dexter on Showtime? Serial Killers always take a trophy or something. I bet the license was that for this psycho.

There is no serial killer in Houston, said Paul.

I don’t know Paul, said Victor, this sounds really unusual.

Paul shook his head and said, Unless the police confirm the story, I’ll assume what Hector was told was someone making shit up.

I must agree with Paul, said Ronnie. Unless the police release information confirming this horrific event, we should assume someone zealously overindulged their creative side while talking about the victim.

Hector said, I didn’t hear the story firsthand, so Ronnie may be right.

Let’s hope that’s the case, said Victor. Not to change the subject, but since Kevin isn’t here, let’s talk over some ideas for a dinner party we can have for the time we finally get to meet Coy. And if it is Coy Featherston, I’m going to probably pass out.

The hotel suite was pleasant, with a bedroom separated from the entertaining area. A large living room was flanked with a kitchenette on one side and a balcony on the other. A wet bar was next to the door that led to the spectacular view of Galveston’s beach.

The room was well decorated with tropical themed paintings and tchotchkes, along with ocean influenced comforter and couch cushions. It resided somewhere between economy plus and 3-star, but the occupants weren’t concerned about their temporary home.

Kevin stood just inside the open door to the balcony, taking in the Gulf of Mexico and a glorious sunrise.

What in the world are you doing awake so early? a voice from behind him asked.

Kevin turned and smiled at his weekend roommate. It is habit, and hope I didn’t wake you, Coy.

Coy, 3 inches taller than Kevin and built like a tank, leaned into Kevin’s open arms. He nestled his head onto Kevin’s shoulders and kissed his neck. You can wake me anytime you want.

Kevin was fully clothed, which consisted of blue and white camouflage cargo shorts and solid blue t-shirt, while Coy was only in his underwear.

Aren’t you afraid someone might be looking in here, or some paparazzi with a zoom lens is taking our photo?

Like I told you, if someone like me doesn’t want to be found, they stay in a normal hotel. If they even know I’m in Galveston, they’re probably down the beach at the swanky place looking for me.

I guess most celebrities have to do that.

If they don’t want to be found, they do. Coy, looking at Kevin’s bearded face, said, You are most beautiful man in the world. Do you know that?

No, that isn’t the case, but thank you for saying so.

Coy pulled him for an embrace and they stood in the rays of the morning sun shining through the patio door lost in each other’s arms.

After several minutes of passionate kissing, Coy pulled away and asked, Should we think about breakfast?

I’m having you for breakfast, Kevin said, as he pulled him back in to an embrace.

They eventually moved to the couch and ceased their heavy petting when they realized their erections were fighting against empty stomachs.

After a loud roar from Kevin’s mid-section, Coy said, Okay, maybe we need to now officially think about breakfast.

Okay, but we’re going to finish this later.

Coy leaned in and gave him a peck on the lips then said, That is a promise.

What would you like to do, eat in or go somewhere?

Coy stood up, and said, Let’s go find a small out of the way place where I won’t be known.

Kevin got up from the couch and said, I know of this small Mexican restaurant at the end of the island, and the food is awesome.

Perfect. I’ll jump in the shower and be ready in ten minutes.

Coy took off his underwear and shook his butt at Kevin, who instinctively slapped it. Coy jumped a little, as if the slap was felt, and headed toward the bathroom. Kevin stood there smiling, watching his beautiful partner walking away and shaking his butt for his viewing pleasure.

The Montrose Mining Company was a prominent gay bar in The Montrose area, and was where a lot of the bear men frequented. It was the only bar on the west side of Pacific Street, so cruisers had to watch for traffic when following the circuit to visit the bear cave.

It was a gray and black building and looked like it was much older than any other structure in the area. To the left of the main building was a connected patio, which had a large wall blocking the view of onlookers from the street or sidewalk. However, there was a raised area on the inside of this wall, so bar patrons could look down and people watch with those being spied upon not even aware of it.

The doorman watched as people, mostly men, entered the bar. He would verify ID’s for any looking under-aged, so bar tenders were free to just worry about serving drinks and making tips.

A bald man walked in and caught the doorman’s eye, as his muscular physique and tattoos was enticing to many who frequented this bar as well as Ripcord. The man glanced at the TWIT magazines spread out over the counter to his left and walked up an incline to