Happy Divorce: How to Turn Your Divorce Into the Most Brilliant and Rewarding Opportunity of Your Life!

By Rossana Condoleo

DIVORCE = REBIRTH: Forget the past, replan your life, improve your appearance & rejuvenate! Empowered, transformed and ready to enjoy your next life. Not only is HAPPY DIVORCE a road map for anyone negotiating the brutal minefield of separation and divorce, but it is also a Transformational Guide unfolding your True Self and Purposes and helping you to Turn your Divorce into the Most Brilliant and Rewarding Opportunity of Your Life! You will measure your success in terms of accrued, genuine and permanent Inner Happiness, while taking your Self-Awareness to a New Edge: this will positively impact your decisions, your social & work life and, ultimately, your future.
The guide delivers a two-part approach:
Part One: EMOTIONAL FOCUS
* How to cope with the stress and pain of divorce.
* Easing frustration and regaining a sense of control over your life and future.
* Uncovering and embracing your visions: you real Self, your dreams and your purpose.
* Setting new goals in every aspect of life.
* Creating inner balance and 24/7 happiness.
* And much, much more...
Part Two: ADVICE FOR DEALING WITH SENSITIVE CHALLENGES ASSOCIATED WITH SEPARATION AND DIVORCE
* How to manage your social life (as a separated/divorced person), as well as contacts and relationships with your ex-husband/wife and their family/friends.
* Building self-confidence while improving your appearance.
* Helping children understand while looking after their best interests.
* Taking care of a home on your own.
* Choosing and dealing with divorce lawyers: what to ask and expect.
* Getting back to love and dating.
* And again, much more pertinent guides.
The author inspires with humor, keeping you motivated and positive from the first to the last page.
"A MUST-READ for all Men and Women facing Separation and Divorce!"

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rossana Condoleo
• Release date: Jun 7, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301654338

Rossana Condoleo

Rossana Condoleo is an eclectic forward thinker, international author (Non-Fiction, Fiction and Poetry) and a life-coach dedicated to helping people live a happier and more fulfilled life. Books: Gondra, If You Want You Can Fly, Happy Divorce, Porosità, Glücklich trotz Scheidung

Book preview

Rossana Condoleo

HAPPY DIVORCE

~~~

Smashwords Edition

Disclaimer and Copyright

Disclaimer - Neither the publisher nor the author is engaged in rendering professional advice or services to the individual reader. The ideas, procedures, and suggestions contained in this book are not intended as a substitute for consulting with your physician or lawyer. All matters regarding your health require medical supervision. Neither the author nor the publisher shall be liable or responsible for any loss or damage allegedly arising from any information or suggestion in this book.

Paperback - ISBN-13: 978-1481818971

Text copyright © 2013 Rossana Condoleo

All rights reserved

No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

HAPPY DIVORCE is also available in E-BOOK form, and in the translated and localised German Edition under the title: "GLÜCKLICH TROTZ SCHEIDUNG". Please check: www.rossanacondoleo.com

ROSSANA CONDOLEO

HAPPY

DIVORCE

__________________________________________________________________

HOW TO TURN YOUR DIVORCE

INTO THE MOST BRILLIANT

AND REWARDING

OPPORTUNITY OF YOUR LIFE!

The Life Changing, Empowering,

Most Complete Guide

for Dealing with Divorce

CONTENTS

Title Page

Disclaimer and Copyright

Introduction

Dedication

>PART ONE<

COMING TO TERMS WITH DIVORCE - ACCEPTANCE

-- Mini Visualization Practice To Regain Control Over Your Thoughts

DREAMS AND GOALS

-- Delaying And Postponing? No Go!

UNVEILING YOUR ORIGINAL SELF AND GOALS

PREPARING TO ANSWER THE QUESTIONNAIRE

-- Preliminary Conditions

-- What You Need

-- Short Meditation Practice

-- Affirmations

THE QUESTIONNAIRE

YOUR POWER OF CREATION

-- The Art Of Timing

-- Awareness And Drive: Through Different Disciplines Into Mind, Subconscious, Imagination, Thoughts, And Their Molding Power

-- Tuning Your Thoughts And Trusting Your Perceptions To Obtain The Life You Want

ALL WHAT YOU HAVE TO KNOW AND DO TO KILL DIVORCE STRESS

-- First: Calm Down!

-- Sustainable Self-Development - Happiness And Control

-- Facing Disappointment

-- Your Brand-New Hd World

-- Boomerang Effect: Giving Love

-- Twenty-Eight Golden Suggestions To Manage The Stress Of Divorce

-- Simple Meditation Exercise

>PART TWO<

SHIFT YOUR ENERGY, DECREASE STRESS, AND LIGHTEN THE BURDEN THAT ACCOMPANIES DIVORCE WITH IMPROVEMENTS AT HOME

POLISHING YOUR APPEARANCE

-- Why Has Mother Nature Made Babies And Puppies So Sweet, Beautiful, And Attractive?

-- Wonders Happen!

-- 1. Self-Esteem And Confidence

-- 2. Body Shape

-- 3. Vitality

-- 4. Physical Agility

-- 5. Clothing

-- 6. Skin, Hands, Nails

-- 7. Hair

-- 8. Teeth

-- A Hdp’s Charisma

HOW TO WIN SOCIAL NETWORKS AND PUBLIC OPINION CHALLENGES

-- Social Homework

DAILY BREAD, OR THE SCIENCE OF DOING THE JOB YOU LIKE

HOW TO HANDLE YOUR EX, HIS FAMILY, AND HIS FRIENDS

HOW TO CHOOSE A GOOD DIVORCE LAWYER AND MANAGE YOUR MEETINGS

-- What A Good Divorce Lawyer Must Be Able To Do For You In The First Place

-- A Lawyer Can Work For Or Against You. Discover How!

-- Divorce Online

-- How To Increase The Efficiency Of Your Divorce Lawyer

-- Twenty Tips And Tricks For Holding Successful Meetings And Having A Great Relationship With Your Lawyer

LOOKING FOR A NEW SPECIAL SOMEONE

-- How Divorce Can Change Your Approach To Love

-- A Matter Of Time?

-- Internet Dating Survival Guide

-- Speed Dating And Single-Parent Trips

-- Are Classic Old Ways Ok For You?

-- Some Important Dos And Don'ts

-- Golden First Date Rules Only For Men

-- Golden First Date Rules Only For Women

HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILDREN THROUGH DIVORCE

-- A Short Meditation And A Meaningful Affirmation For You And Your Children

-- Old Negative Family Situation

-- New Positive Divorce Situation

-- Twelve Very Important Rules To Make Your Children Happy Through And After Divorce

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

-- Questions Or Comments? Internet And Social Networks

-- Before You Go

To my daughter Camilla Johanna Teresa,

for shining in my life

like the morning sun

INTRODUCTION

I have grown old with a strong sense of truthfulness. This applies to my life, to my beliefs, to my projects, to my relationships. Truthfulness must also stay at the base of every marriage.

I really believe in the words for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part, and with my book, I am not rejecting this institution at all. Nonetheless, as I had to experience myself, there is nothing you share that belongs to you entirely; a good marriage cannot be one person’s responsibility only. I am convinced that until both partners are committed to their marriage success, divorce will rarely be an issue, notwithstanding the changes two spouses undergo in a lifetime.

My mission is to make sure that those who had neither the chance nor the fortune to sustain their marriage until "death do them part" have at least the chance and fortune to live the rest of their lives upon the best possible premise: it was no Happy Marriage, but it will definitely be a Happy Divorce! You have the right to be happy, and no one and nothing can bring you so much trouble that you forget who you are and where you want to go. Therefore, I have undertaken to turn your divorce into the most brilliant and rewarding opportunity of your life! In this aim, I wrote this complete, all-around guide, which will be explaining, enlightening, advising, answering, highlighting, focusing, supporting, motivating, helping, developing, improving, guiding, calming (short meditation and visualization practices, as long as positive affirmations are also included), empowering, and energizing you through and after divorce.

Part I is more spiritual, preparing you and setting up the basis for later approaches and responses to the more practical subjects contained in the second part. You will learn to:

-manage the stress of divorce;

-discover and observe your mental abilities and the power of thoughts under a number of different theories (scientific, religious, common sense);

-shift your energy to meet the physical demands of having to cope with divorce;

-lighten the emotional burden that accompanies this event;

-ease your frustration;

-regain your sense of control over your life;

-discover new possibilities;

-become aware of the paradoxical inner power triggered by divorce (which otherwise would be disrupting since this event is second only to the death of a spouse on the Stress Scale) and use it at your advantage;

-contact your inner Self to learn what you really want and what your original dreams and goals are;

-set goals in every sphere of your life; and

-motivate yourself to start your life projects.

Part II addresses sensitive/critical issues in connection with divorce and:

-job

-family

-friends

-appearance

-home

-health and fitness

-ex husband/wife and their people

-social networks

-public image

-back into dating

-children

-divorce lawyers.

The assimilation of information, concepts, ideas, and self-help solutions contained in this book will positively permeate your new life from the very beginning of your reading. You will straightaway feel comforted, corroborated, stronger, and authentically self-reliant, so that problems will no longer be central in your life. Finding happiness and fulfilling your dreams will become the protagonists of your thoughts. And this will happen as a natural but amazingly fast maturing process, with no particular effort; you are just required to believe in my words and in your ability to arrive wherever you want. Anything you acquire is mostly the result of your own initiative and engagement. Yet, feeling happy and achieving the first wished results will provide you with the optimism and energy needed to turn every new challenge into a thrilling possibility.

Happy Divorce will lovingly coach you through and after divorce, remaining a lifelong whispering companion in case you forget how important you are and how beautiful living your dreams can be.

And now, since you might really not want to waste your time reading introductions, we will get into the core and start working on your personal development right now.

Just let me wish you a fortunate, harmonious, successful…

Happy Divorce!

PART ONE

I See My Way

I Manage My Mind · I Find My Self · I Set My Goals

COMING TO TERMS WITH DIVORCE - ACCEPTANCE

Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.

- William James (1842 – 1910)

American psychologist and philosopher

Are you just thinking of divorcing, but the chances of a safe, manageable split are near zero? Are you waiting for that last triggering enough is enough (i.e., he or she must behave so badly that Alien is a pale, perfumed doll in comparison) so that it is eventually easier to make the final decision? Both many-year-pondered and bolt-from-the-blue divorces can have the same destabilizing impact on your life. Parting from the ex-loved one is sometimes a real tragedy, especially if you are the weaker party (the one who earns less, who takes care of the children, who comes from a foreign country, and so on). Nonetheless, limbo, or the state of indefinitely postponing an undesirable but necessary decision, can be even more hurtful and devastating in the long run than divorce itself.

Whether you are thinking about divorcing or you are already in the process, the fact is that if you are reading my book, the simplest, most obvious reason is that your marriage does not work! Whether it is your partner’s fault, yours, or the circumstances’, the relationship with your ex (I will use ex as a way of exemplification) has suffered so much that perhaps it can no longer be healed. This turns out to be particularly true if you have already taken all the necessary steps to save your holy union, but any and all have failed miserably (for example, family counseling, vacations and activities meant to regain togetherness, and so on).

Then, as a matter of fact, you have to accept it: accept that notwithstanding any positive effort to change the picture, your marriage is lacking essential elements that make it a happy one. Acceptance is a very soothing feeling. It releases long-lasting tensions and sets energies free for managing the psychological and physical demands of coping with divorce. Accepting the end of your marriage implies abandoning a lot of recurrent (not to say obsessive) thoughts, i.e.:

-Why does he/she behave this way and not in the other, right way?;

-With whom is he/she now instead of being at work as he/she said?; or

-What can I do to change this situation for the better?

Please count how many times you have indulged in these sorts of thoughts! And now…? Now you have a lot of other beautiful, positive thoughts, possibilities to explore in your mind, and we are going to take care of all of them chapter by chapter.

The life of your ex-partner is no longer your business. Full stop! It is relieving, isn't it? It is like a breeze inside your head, refreshing your brain and allowing more space and power to convert your plans into action. You cannot imagine how time-, health-, and mind-consuming are those thoughts about how sick your marriage is, how sick your partner is, how sick your situation is. The situation is not sick at all! You are just divorcing, not falling down from a cliff. You are divorcing, something almost 40 percent of the people around you have already experienced. You are divorcing and losing a partner who was not the best for you. You are getting rid of a burden that has hindered your personal development, the fulfillment of your dreams, and the attainment of certain goals without which your life cannot be lived to the fullest. A marriage that does not work, although it appears to do so, is really not worthwhile.

If you have not consciously noticed what it has been like living a lie, your subconscious has. Your subconscious was unhappy with the situation long before you could admit it, and you might have already experienced an increasing number of psychosomatic disorders that just wanted to alert you and stop this theater. Whether you are the active or the passive party (in terms of who asked for the divorce), the game is now over. And it is over because something very important in any long-lasting relationship is no longer there. This something can be respect, love, dedication, engagement, or all of the above. You know better than any other person on earth why it happened, what that missing something was. Without its essential elements, you get an imperfect surrogate—not a real marriage! And frankly speaking, you cannot and you do not want to live to the end of your days with less than you deserve. You deserve to be happy, like most people out there. Please believe me, there are a lot of happily married couples whose sex is great after twenty years together and who care for each other.

Please do not believe that your marriage was a good marriage just because apparently (again) your everyday routine worked. And please do not argue that no marriage is perfect! That is the soup some parents have served to their children, mostly daughters, for centuries in order to lower their expectations while hunting high and low for a spouse. A bad marriage was once a lot better than no marriage at all, and I believe that still today, surely in many cultures and subcultures, this concept continues to produce people who are resigned to being unhappy for a lifetime.

What happened behind the curtains at your place? Or what did not happen behind the curtains at your place? You must be true to yourself while reading this book, since digging in the past and recalling painful and frustrating feelings is not at all my job here. What about your real wants, your need for closeness and time together? My experience, and that of many divorced people, is that the first thing lacking when a marriage shipwrecks is closeness. Body and soul intimacy. An entanglement that brings two to become a single unit. And it is visible! I can tell you by observing couples at parties (which is the best milieu to rate relationship behaviors) whether they will resist wear and tear or not.

I am not pro-divorce. I am in favor of the traditional family model made up of the original father plus the original mother plus the original children. This is the model we have grown up with, which is imprinted in our DNA, and anything different is perceived as disturbing, unconventional, or cheap. That is totally wrong. The so-called patchwork families have proved not only to be effective in providing care and love to every member, but also to be stronger, through facing daily problems, than traditional families. It is a paradox, but it is true! Indeed, inside other partnering and parenting configurations, such as gay families, for example, people are more flexible, more open, and faster in meeting new challenges. The result is that change and adaptation are the norm, and the extra efforts needed to keep up with more complex family systems are abundantly paid back and rewarded by the goodwill and engagement of all people involved. We would expect the traditional family to be the pillar of society—and it really was, up to forty years ago. But starting in the sixties, Western society’s structure changed in its core, so that the enlarged strong and backing family model has been