The Pastor's Child

By Temienor Tuedon

A pastor’s child wakes up and begins to ask all the forbidden questions. The pastor is distraught. Is this going to be his dreaded apocalypse? Sure enough things grow from bad to worse as the penchant for asking questions becomes infectious. Meanwhile, his wife and a trusted family friend are in their own ways more than casually interested in the pastor's venture: The Tintinnabulation Ministry.
The Pastor’s Child is a soul-stirring play. One finds oneself reviewing much of what one has taken for granted and accepted as established faith. The penchant for asking questions may just as well infect any reader of this play. Could this be the intention of the playwright? In this play, he seems to be urging his readers to re-evaluate some of those basic precepts and tenets that most of us willy-nilly anchor our lives on. Perhaps, like Pastor Tintinabule in the play, we may well come through the crucible of experiencing to a humbling but profound recognition.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Temienor Tuedon
• Release date: Jan 28, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310384493

Temienor Tuedon

Temienor Tuedon was born in Warri and raised in Benin, both in Southern Nigeria, West Africa. He studied Literature in English at the University of Ife, Ile-Ife, Nigeria (now Obafemi Awolowo University) from where he graduated in 1978. After a spell as a Literature and English teacher, he embarked on a career in Human Resource Management with the Shell Petroleum Development Company of Nigeria where he was formally trained in that discipline and worked from 1981 – 1999. He obtained a Post Graduate Diploma in Journalism at the Nigerian Institute of Journalism in 1999 and a Masters in Industrial and Labour Relations from the University of Lagos in 2002. He presently pursues mainstream occupations in farming, publishing and Human Resource Management Consulting and is based in Lagos, South-West Nigeria. He is married with children and has some six other plays as well as a text book on Human Resource Management to his credit.

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About the Play

A pastor’s child wakes up and begins to ask all the forbidden questions. The pastor is distraught, naturally. Is this going to bring about an apocalyptic end to his ministry? And sure enough things grow from bad to worse as the penchant for asking questions becomes uncontrollably infectious. Meanwhile, his wife and a trusted family friend are in their own ways more than casually interested in the pastor’s venture – The Tintinnabulation Ministry.

The Pastor’s Child is a soul-stirring play. One finds oneself reviewing much of what one has taken for granted and accepted as established beliefs. The penchant for asking questions may just as well infect any reader of this play. Could this be the intention of the playwright?

Temienor Tuedon has published a handful of plays, most of them satirical commentaries on societal ills and values. Coming on the heels of his last play, A Cock and Hen Story [Adam & Eve], this latest play, though still heavily satirical and with the usual dose of humor, suggests a turning inward on the part of the playwright. In this play, he seems to be urging his readers to re-evaluate some of those basic precepts and tenets that most of us willy-nilly anchor our lives on. Perhaps, like Pastor Tintinabule in the play, we may well come through the crucible of experiencing to a humbling but profound recognition.

Ekun

CHARACTERS

Pastor Tintinabule - Head of the Tintinnabulation Ministry

Madam Tintinabule (aka Mama) - Pastor Tintinabule’s Wife

Junior - Pastor and Mrs. Tintinabule’s son

Sister Ropopo - Assistant Pastor in the Tintinnabulation Ministry

and friend to the Tintinabule family

Students - Junior’s Classmates

Elder Goodluck - A Church Leader in the Tintinnabulation Ministry

Elder Omoni - A Church Leader in the Tintinnabulation Ministry

Other Church Members - Members of the Tintinnabulation Ministry

Scene One

AT THE TINTINNABULATION CHURCH.

THE CHURCH IS IN SESSION. AT THE BACKGROUND IS AN ALTAR, A LARGE CRUCIFIX BEHIND IT. ON BOTH SIDES ARE HUGE PICTURE FRAMES OF THE PHOTOGRAPHS OF PASTOR AND MADAM TINTINABULE. PASTOR TINTINABULE, IN A CLEAN-CUT SUIT, IS AT THE CENTRE OF THE PULPIT. THE AUDIENCE IS HIS CONGREGATION. TO THE EXTREME RIGHT OF THE PULPIT, SISTER ROPOPO IS AT A LECTERN BEFORE A KING-SIZED BIBLE FROM WHICH SHE READS AS DEMANDED BY THE PASTOR. SEATED PROMINENTLY IN A SPECIAL SEAT IN FRONT OF THE CONGREGATION IS MAMA, ELEGANTLY ATTIRED. THEIR SON, JUNIOR, IS INCONSPICUOUS BUT SOMEWHERE IN THE CONGREGATION.

PASTOR TINTINABULE: Somebody say hallelujah!

CONGREGATION: Hallelujah!

PASTOR TINTINABULE: I say somebody say hallelujah!

CONGREGATION: [LOUDER] Hallelujah!!

PASTOR TINTINABULE: The Lord is good.

CONGREGATION: All the time!

PASTOR TINTINABULE: All the time …

CONGREGATION: The Lord is good.

PASTOR TINTINABULE: Hallelujah! Give God glory, somebody! [THE CONGREGATION APPLAUDS] Amen, amen, amen!!! To God be the glory. Amen… We shall be anchoring our sermon today on two wonderful verses of the Holy Bible. And when I say wonderful, I mean to say that they are simply bravura, i.e. that they are magnificent and enthusing. The first of these two verses is John 3: 16. Will the Assistant Pastor, our own dear Sister Ropopo please peruse this verse for our empathetic absorption.

SISTER ROPOPO: For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

PASTOR TINTINABULE: Somebody say Amen!

CONGREGATION: Amen!!!

PASTOR TINTINABULE: Hallelujah! Glory, glory! He gave His eternal Son that we mortals of flesh and blood may become of immortal stock if we believe in Him. That is what I call bravura! The second verse which is quintessential for our understanding of spiritual existentialism is in the Book of Romans. Open up to Romans 3: 23… Are you there? If you are, say hallelujah!

CONGREGATION: Hallelujah!

PASTOR TINTINABULE: Glory, glory! Our amiable Assistant Pastor, Sister Ropopo, please peruse.

SISTER ROPOPO: For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.

PASTOR TINTINABULE: That is to say, whatever your gender, be you male or female or even a hermaphrodite, be you a new born babe or a nonagenarian, whether you are a billionaire or indigent, whether you are Mr. President or Madam First Lady, whether you are a business man or pauper – all of us, you and I, have sinned and come short of the glory of God. In fact for the entire regime of homo sapiens sin is an inescapable congenital disease; it afflicts everybody. There is no immunity to sin. Everybody is born in sin. There is no way around sin except by the grace of God. That is why He, our Daddy in heaven, Jehovah El Shaddai, in His mercy, granted us His only begotten Son that if we believe in Him we may not perish but transmute from mortality to immortality. Hallelujah! E she me to ma to la la la! Shout hallelujah, somebody!

CONGREGATION: Hallelujah!!!

PASTOR TINTINABULE: Glory, glory! Now, these two verses of the Bible that constitute the subject of our proselytization presently are inextricably linked, conjoined, only apparently sequestered but then ultimately amalgamated in the fulfillment on the cross of Calvary. Oh ya ma ma ma ma ma! I am Tintinabule and I am in the Tintinnabulation spirit. Oh, yes. I am tintinnabulating. O Glory! Did you hear that? Somebody say hallelujah if you heard me!

CONGREGATION: Hallelujah!!!

PASTOR TINTINABULE: Oh, you do not know how blessed you are, dear flock. I am one of a few men of God that are a living testimony to their earthly appellations and spiritual calling. That is why I am Pastor Tintinabule tininnabulating in the Tintinnabulation Ministry of Divine Favor. E ya ya ya ya yah! Glory be to God! Shout hallelujah, somebody!

CONGREGATION: Hallelujah!!!

PASTOR TINTINABULE: [INTRODUCING HIS WIFE] And there, right in front of you, is my elegant virgin wife, the flesh of my flesh and the bone of my bones. Mama, say ‘amen’!

MAMA: [STANDING UP AND WAVING] Amen! Hallelujah! [THE CONGREGATION APPLAUDS]

PASTOR TINTINABULE: When I say virgin wife many people think I am in self-contradiction and denial of reality. But that is because they are not living in the spirit. Does not the Bible tell us that the old shall pass away and everything shall become new? My delectable wife and my immaculate humble self become new each day. We resurrect with each newborn day. We live our everyday in the newness of each day. Say hallelujah, somebody!

CONGREGATION: [MANY STANDING AND WAVING] Halleluiah!!! [APPLAUSE]

PASTOR TINTINABULE: Glory, glory! After that introductory detour, let us now revert to the matter at hand. When in the beginning the come came to become and Eve ate of the forbidden fruit and bade Adam eat and Adam did eat, that was the fall – kpa ta on the ground from the top of glory like two fornicating lizards from the top of a tree. E ya ya ya sa ma to ga! Just like that. In just a single moment mankind parachuted and summersaulted from grace to abysmal grass. And when they fell, what