Secret Fantasy

By Kat Halstead

For Britney O'Leary choices made when she was still a teenager have haunted her throughout her adult life. When she thinks she has lost her job, she runs home to her twin sister Connie, hoping to make sense of her life.
Jason Evans has one regret in his life, that would be letting go of his first and only love. When he's forced to confront the secrets of his past, will he be able to make sense of his future?
Sara Johnson has always dreamed of being an actress. When she has a chance to make it come true she finds herself in a world filled with secrets about her past, and finds something she didn't know she was looking for.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kat Halstead
• Release date: Aug 20, 2011
• ISBN: 9781465839749

Kat Halstead

Kat Halstead writes engaging romances that will keep you turning the page. She started writing at the age of fifteen and hasn’t stopped yet. She brings you on a roller coaster of emotions that you’ll want to ride again and again. She is also the co-host of A Very Special Podcast where she and Patrick M. Dunn discuss your favorite classic TV shows. She currently lives in Colorado with her boyfriend, and fur-baby Sophia Pawtrillo. Pick up her latest book Alone Inside the Night now.

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Secret Fantasy

Kat Halstead

www.kathalstead.net

Copyright 2011 by Kat Halstead

Smashwords Edition

For my Mother.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

To all the amazing actors, directors, writers, producers of daytime television whom without their hard work each day, I would never have been open to the lives of the residents of Bay City, Port Charles, Corinth and many others. They were the inspiration to use the fictional Sunset Mountain as the backdrop.

ONE

Winter 1999

New Year’s Eve was a night when romance was supposed to be king. When the clock strikes twelve, you kiss the one you want to spend the next year with. That was all Connie O’Leary could think about as she sat next to her best friend Alec in his parent’s basement. She’d come over here because her twin sister Britney had once again ruined the original plan. Then again Britney probably hadn’t planned on getting the flu in time to miss whatever insanity would come with the whole Y2K disaster. A disaster that had yet to even happen.

Connie needed a break; sometimes she wondered how they could be sisters, even when she would recall the twins from Sweet Valley High. At least those twins looked alike. She and her sister were very different. Not just in looks but also personality and dreams. If they didn’t share the same birthday, she really could at times wonder how they were related, let alone twins.

Alec had MTV on; Connie was already bored with whatever Carson Daly had been saying. She was over him. He’d been cool a year ago, but now she was ready for something new. I mean VJs would come and go; MTV would always be the same, right?

This was her chance, her moment to snuggle up to Alec, they were alone. His parents off at a party down the street, none of their other friends had shown up yet. Jason seemed to be sulking since Britney was sick. This left just the two of them alone, perhaps for the last time until prom. This could be her last chance to get Alec to see her as a girl, rather than just a friend. Have you ever thought about what it would be like if you and I, you know?

Alec turned to her, he wasn’t sure if he’d heard her correctly, Con, are you asking what I think you’re asking?

We could give it a try, right? Why not? We’re best friends, wouldn’t it be better if we did this with someone we trusted. She could feel her stomach fill with nervous energy, I mean why do this with someone random on prom night, when we could do this, right here, right now, with each other.

You sure about this? Alec tried looking back at the television.

Connie stood up in front of him, What, are you not ready to lose your virginity?

Alec gulped, feeling his heart beat against his chest. This couldn’t be real. This was some sick joke that Connie was pulling on him. If he tried to kiss her, she would duck and laugh. He looked at her, standing in front of him, what if she wasn’t joking? What if this was serious and she was ready and willing to lose her virginity to him?

Well? She felt frustrated; she hadn’t expected him to take this long to respond. She figured he would either laugh at her, or jump at the chance.

Then it happened, before Connie could rationalize what was happening, Alec was kissing her. She gave in, kissing him back. Enjoying the feel of his lips on hers as the fell onto the couch. Her body pressing into his, about to experience something she really hoped she was ready for.

* * *

It was almost midnight as Britney lay in bed, watching the countdown. She wasn’t really focused, mostly exhausted from feeling sick all day long. Also a bit sad at having to spend the night in bed with the flu. This would only ever happen to her, never to her sister. Her sister was so lucky to never get sick on holidays.

She flipped between Carson Daly and Dick Clark, when she heard her window open, and then saw the dark hair of her best friend Jason Evans, even though she’d told him to stay home. She didn’t want him catching whatever she’d had. Earlier in the day she’d passed out on the kitchen floor.

You need to keep this window closed better if you don’t want to keep getting sick. He closed it behind him, wondering how her parents never seemed to notice him sneaking in and out.

Britney shivered from the fresh, cold air in the room. What are you doing here? A cough took over her.

Jason shrugged, Well, I didn’t feel like being around Alec and Connie. Your sister has been acting weird lately. Besides, I refuse to let you get sucked into watching Carson Daly as time ticks down to a new year.

I was going between MTV and ABC. She smiled a little bit before gesturing to the nearby chair.

Jason sat, watching the way her weak body moved, how tired she appeared to be. So, resolutions for the new year?

Make the best of senior year? She sighed, I guess try and make my dreams come true. What about you?

Same. He tried to keep his focus on the television, Wouldn’t it suck if Carson ended up replacing Dick Clark?

Britney rolled onto her side a little bit, Yeah, but who else is waiting in the wings to take over? No one.

True. He looked over at her, So, tell me, what dream do you want to come true?

Oh you know, perfect prom, beautiful graduation night, to land an acting job as soon as I get to New York. I am aware that the last ones a bit ridiculous, actually they all are, but a girl has to dream right?

Yeah, so you plan to go to New York? Are you just trying to follow me to NYU or what? He teased.

She laughed, Oh please Jason, you’re my best friend. We’re just lucky we have the same fantasy destination for our future.

I guess so He focused back on the TV as the countdown of the last ten seconds began.

* * *

… Five… four… three… two… one! The voice over the TV declared as Connie pulled away from Alec.

Alec lay back on the carpet, staring up at the ceiling. His heart pounding, his mind dizzy. Are you okay?

Connie nodded as she zipped her jeans back up, Fine. She ran her hands through her hair as the reality of the situation began to hit her. I should get going.

You don’t have to Alec stood, his pants still around his ankles.

Connie giggled, I’ll see you tomorrow. We still on for skiing at Purg?

Of course. Alec pulled his jeans up, watching as she went up the stairs. Had he just lost his best friend? No, he couldn’t have. Connie had always been more than just his best friend anyway. Maybe they had done this too soon; he knew that it hadn’t been a mistake. He could feel that in his gut, maybe though the timing had been off. Maybe they should have waited.

Hey Alec? Connie was on her way back down the stairs again.

Yeah? He was surprised she’d come back.

She licked her lips when she saw him, When are you expecting your parents to come home?

No idea, they’re probably pretty drunk right now.

Yeah, my parents are probably fast asleep, wouldn’t notice when I came home. Her fingers nervously drummed on the banister.

Alec wasn’t sure her mind was where he was until he asked, Want to go hang out in my room?

She tilted her head to the side as she smiled, Yeah, let’s go hang out.

Alec raced up the stairs, feeling like a fool for being so eager. They’d just done it for the first time, just because they would be hanging out in his room, didn’t mean he would get to do it again.

Connie closed the door behind him, Mind if I lock this?

Um, go for it His stomach was nervous, amazed this could be happening at all, let alone for the second time this evening.

I know I freaked out a moment ago. She sat next to him on the bed, pushing the covers away. I’ve been thinking about that, for a while now.

You have? Alec watched her.

Connie leaned forward, Yeah, I have. I have always planned for you being the one I lost my V-card to, and now I have.

He didn’t know what else to say, so he kissed her again. Slowly this time, wanting to make whatever was happening last this time.

* * *

Britney pushed her window down as tightly as she could before pulling up under her comforter to fall asleep. A new year was here, a new decade. She was going to make the most of it that she could. She just had to figure out what she needed to do over the next few months to make sure that she could get to New York and get things going, started for her acting career.

Jason heard her window close tightly as he stepped across the crunchy snow under his feet carefully when he got to the sidewalk to watch out for ice. He looked up at the window, he could see the glow from her television still on, but he knew she was falling asleep.

Walking home in the cold air he thought about the future, wondering if he would ever have the guts to ask Britney out. They wouldn’t have to worry about parting ways for college if they both were really planning on going to New York. Though as much as he wished it would turn out to be true, he had to admit that the chances were slim she would end up in New York. She would always dream big, but never seemed to be able to follow through.

TWO

Spring 2000

Connie threw open the door of her sisters bedroom early on a Friday morning. Britney’s body hid under pillows and blankets as though she was a caterpillar hiding in a cocoon. Wake up! Connie pulled off the pillows and looked at her sleeping sister, the mass of red hair a mess against the pink sheets.

Britney looked up, What?

We have to get up; we have to go get our dresses and shoes for graduation. We have rehearsal this afternoon and we need the shoes so we can line up by size. Connie fluffed the pillows and made a pile with them.

Britney sighed and looked over at her sister, What time is it?

Connie looked at her watch, 7:34 now get up or do you want to get stuck with a dress from Wal-Mart instead of going down to Farmington?

Britney rubbed her eyes, looking at her blond twin, I’m fine with a dress from there or JCPenney’s. Relax Con, it's graduation. We’ll have the gown over it anyway. Shoes I can understand, those will be seen.

Flabbergasted! That’s how you make me! Connie stormed out of the room with her arms motioning above her head.

Take a chill pill! Britney grabbed a towel and made her way to the bathroom.

She knew her sister was somewhat right, graduation was important. She had other things on her mind, things like leaving the day after graduation for a summer theatre program she’d gotten into that would mean she’d get to perform Shakespeare. Then she wouldn’t come back to Durango, she wouldn’t be going to Fort Lewis like her sister had expected her to. No, she had much bigger plans that would lead her to New York, and hopefully a career of acting. The opportunities were endless with the stage, commercials, movies and television shows.

Hurry up! Connie stood outside the door, wondering how she had been able to spend the last almost eighteen years of her life dealing with her sister.

Give me a minute!

Connie had her arms crossed over her chest as she tapped her foot, "I just want us to find something really nice, I know this isn’t as big of a deal as Prom, but come on you gotta admit if either of us is wearing something like someone else it should be each other.

Britney opened the bathroom door, her mouth foamy from toothpaste and her toothbrush in her hands. Her eyebrows were pointing down as her eyes narrowed at her sister, No matching.

Why not? Mom and Dad would love it Connie uncrossed her arms, Besides, when you think about it graduation isn’t for us, it's for them.

Britney shook her head and spit into the sink before gargling. She took her time on purpose before looking back at her sister, Similar color, and different outfits.

Fine, you win. Let’s go, I promised Alec and Jason we would meet them for breakfast.

Britney rolled her eyes, Would you just screw Alec already?

Connie smacked her sister behind the head, Watch what you say. Mom and Dad could hear you.

They left early to go pick up Grandma in Albuquerque.

Oh yeah, well Alec isn’t interested in me that way. Connie felt her skin chill as she lied.

Whatever. Maybe I’ll sleep with him tonight. It would be a fun way to end the school year. Loose the dreaded V-Card and all that.

Whatever you say sister dear, let’s just go meet the boys.

Britney felt a chill as she followed her sister.

* * *

Dude, what is going on with you and Connie? Jason stretched out in the back of Alec’s pick-up truck.

Alec sat on the edge in the parking lot of the mall as the sisters were searching for their dresses. Nothing, why would you ask that?

Jason shrugged, I don’t know, something seems off with you two. Did Connie confess her crush on you?

Alec laughed, No, you’re nuts. It's probably just all of this.

What the mall? Jason closed his eyes pulling his cap over his eyes, "Has Britney mentioned where she’s going to college next year to you?

The Fort, just like Connie and me He moved a little further into the bed, stretching his legs, Why?

Oh no reason, I was just wondering. She hasn’t really said anything to me about it Jason sat up, adjusting his worn out Durango High baseball cap. Think they’ll find something they can agree on?

Nope. Britney will get what she wants and Connie will just give up trying to dress her sister like her. Which really she never should've brought up Alec pulled his sunglasses over his eyes. But hey, we get to lay out here in the sun, while they drive each other crazy.

I’m going to miss this.

Dude, you don’t leave until August. We’re not starting with that yet. This isn’t that one movie. Alec pulled his sunglasses off, just in time to see the girls coming out of the mall, arguing of course.

What movie? Jason turned to see what had caught Alec’s gaze, Finally notice that Connie is a girl?

Shut up Alec jumped down from the bed of the truck, leaving Jason alone, giving him a small glimpse of his future.

* * *

Britney found herself staring at the suitcase lying open on