Phillip's Clown

By Robert Beck

A prologue to a longer tale. A novel of courage and sacrifice.

A drama of love and lost hope renewed.

A story of a boy who fears his life is running out of time, a man with a second chance, and the bond they form in the time they share...

Sometimes you must give your life, to get it back...

• Language: English
• Publisher: Robert Beck
• Release date: Jan 4, 2011
• ISBN: 9781452481265

Robert Beck

Robert J. Beck was born in Albuquerque, New Mexico. He currently resides in Socorro, New Mexico, with his cat, Maui.

Book preview

Phillip’s Clown

A Novel

by

Robert J. Beck

SMASHWORDS EDITION

*****

PUBLISHED BY:

Robert Jeremy Beck on Smashwords

Phillip’s Clown

A Novel

Copyright © 2010 by Robert Jeremy Beck

Check out Robert J. beck at Smashwords.com

Cover Image: Duncan Walker

Cover Design: Cathi Stevenson

Smashwords Edition License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author's work.

*****

Phillip’s Clown

A Novel

The novel you are about to read is intended to provide a glimmer of hope for those who feel there is none. Peace.

This novel is dedicated to my mother and friend, Jacqueline F. Lattery.

Thank you for always believing in me.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

PROLOGUE

PART ONE

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

PART TWO

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHAPTER TWENTY

EPILOGUE

PROLOGUE

Despite the distant rumble of an approaching army, the young king and the shaman laughed.

The once shining armor of the king was muddy and dull. The shaman, clad in a peasant shirt, leather trousers, and a dark robe, was a great medicine man, from a place mysterious, of birth inexplicable. His name was simply Gard.

On horseback, the shaman led the king through a misty field surrounded by fog-laden forest. The face of the shaman was the color of alabaster, a line of crimson-red shot from the corner of his eyes, forming a thin crescent to the shelf of his jaw.

The young emperor perceived the shaman heeding a sound emanating from afar.

Selah! The shaman called, breaking his horse into a gallop.

Dwayne, the royal steed followed suit.

The chill wind on the king’s face was exhilarating. Tears coursed from his eyes back into his ears because of the biting wind. He sensed the rumbling beyond the forest. Nevertheless, for one moment, he put that aside. He breathed in deeply, enjoying the sensation of the life surging through his strong body, as pure insurmountable feelings of happiness and strength washed over him.

The shaman shifted his painted face toward the young sovereign, peered into his eyes.

King Phillip Ash laughed aloud, observing that the shaman was laughing too.

*****

The boy found himself in a dark chamber made of brick and stone. From a bird’s eye view, he observed an overpowering shape bestowing a tall, encroaching crown beating him. With each blow from the menacing presence, the boy grunted and groaned as he watched from above his own body battered. He knew this intimidating beast, this fiend inhabiting his waking life, having seen the dark, empty lines made flesh.

PART ONE

CHAPTER ONE

She was pushing the bottom of her light-up tennis shoes, making the lights flash as Phillip marched into the living room. Katie turned her eyes from her lights. Phillip, you look dashing!

Phillip smiled at his sister, appreciating the compliment. At six, Katie thought herself a young woman. He sat beside her. Thanks Katie. And you, my dear, look smashing!

Katie giggled, pulled her Winnie the Pooh lunch pail onto her lap.

Are you ready for school, Katie? Phillip asked.

Well, I would be if we could get there. Hurry mom! The eagerness to get going was apparent as she peered with impatience down the hallway.

I’m coming! Katherine called, appearing in the hallway in a hurried fashion.

Katherine Ash was a beautiful woman. Her hair flowed around a refined face. She was dressed in an executive business blouse, her black skirt ending just below the knee. Katherine was an administrator for the University of New Mexico Hospital.

Katherine reached for her carryall on the floor beside the sofa. Are you ready, my babies?

Been ready, mom, Katie said with flecks of sarcastic impatience. Katherine smiled down at her. Katie grinned widely. Let’s go.

Mom, I’m not a baby anymore, Phillip said as they exited the house. Katherine set the house alarm and came out the door, locking it behind her.

They hurried to the Cadillac and Katherine got in first. She unlocked the doors and the kids climbed into the car.

As they pulled out of the driveway, Katherine yielded to search for oncoming traffic. Then, glancing from Phillip in the front seat to Katie in the back, she said, You will always be my babies. Put on your seatbelts.

*****

The ride to school was mostly a silent one. Katherine had turned on the radio quietly. It played an old Huey Lewis tune as they turned onto Interstate 40, taking the Louisiana Boulevard exit to Montgomery Elementary School. This was Katie’s stop.

Phillip discerned an unusual quietness in his mother, observing her subtle but apparent anxiety.

She peeked at him and smiled. Katherine became aware of her own visible apprehension, so she brought her thoughts out into the open. You know, Paul Ray is being released from prison tomorrow.

I know, Phillip replied. He thought about how he used to follow his uncle Paul Ray around like a puppy. Phillip had thought he was so cool. They had gone to movies and played cards together. He felt close to Paul Ray because even though Phillip was much younger Paul Ray accepted him without question.

Then, one day Paul Ray disappeared from his life. He had gotten himself into trouble and sentenced to seven years in prison. Phillip missed him terribly and did not understand what had happened. He became angry with Paul Ray for leaving. In the last couple of years, Phillip wondered if Paul Ray did not care enough about him to remain in his life. Phillip wrote letters to Paul Ray, but eventually the connection had fallen away.

I know we had decided he would live with Gramma, but I’ve decided to let him stay with us. Katherine glanced into the rear view mirror at Katie to study her reaction. Katie was quiet, peering out the window.

Phillip asked, I wonder what he’s like now, mom?

He’s fine, Honey, Katherine reassured her son. He’s still the Paul Ray you remember, but he looks and acts a bit different.

How mom?

Katherine turned the radio off as they pulled up in front of the school. Hold on, she told Phillip. She got out of the car, walked around to Katie’s door, and let her out.

Phillip called out to his little sister, Have a nice day Katie. Bye!

Katie hugged her mom and pecked her lips. Katherine knelt before Katie. She adjusted her daughter’s coat collars and said, Have a good day, Sweetie. Be careful and tell Mrs. Mashoff I said hi. Katherine smiled and kissed Katie again.

Okay mommy.

Katie tapped on the front passenger door of the Cadillac. Phillip rolled down the window. Katie reached her head toward Phillip and kissed his cheek. Bye Phil. I love you, she told him, with a red face and a smile. Katie turned and skipped to the double doors of her school.

*****

Katherine got back in the car and pulled out onto the street. Paul Ray is different because he has been through a lot, she continued. Seven years in prison can do a great deal to a person.

Is he gonna work for Danny?

Yes. Danny will have him at the upholstery shop. The stress was now fully apparent in Katherine’s eyes. ‘Although it took some talking to get Danny to agree to help,’ she thought.

Phillip was eagerly looking forward to Paul Ray’s arrival. It had been so long since he had seen him. He did not know him anymore.

Yeah, Phillip agreed. His Uncle Danny was opposed to helping Paul Ray. Danny had a lot of resentment toward his younger brother.

They rode in silence the rest of the way to Cleveland Middle School, the school Phillip attended. Katherine pulled into the parking lot.

Thanks mom, Phillip said, leaning over and kissing his mom’s cheek with a loud pop.

Don’t forget the M.R.I. is next Tuesday, Phillip, Katherine informed her son. He got out of the car and spun around, leaning in the car’s open door. I know. Bye! Phillip smiled and closed the door.

Bye. Katherine watched her son walking away. Tears welled in her eyes. This always happened.

Phillip is twelve years old and in the seventh grade. Phillip had cancer.

CHAPTER TWO

Katherine Jacobs married a man named Edward Ash, taking his last name. Edward was a partner in a large law firm. A man of accomplishment, he was revered as a mover and a shaker. Edward’s clients were high-powered and well known in the community. He was early to work and late to arrive home, even bringing his work home with him and staying up late into the night sculpting his cases and presentations.

Katherine herself, at that time, was an executive secretary, rising in the ranks of the hospital administrative pool.

The atmosphere of a traditional marriage had been virtually non-existent from the get-go because of their respective careers. Katherine and Edward made no time for each other. When there was time for a brief interlude, they only spoke of work.

Katherine and Edward conceived Phillip and Katie six years apart.

Edward named Phillip after one of the twelve apostles, while Katherine named Katie after herself. She had never heard of any mother ever naming a daughter in the junior sense, but Edward had agreed, even insisted upon it. She called her Katie and not Katherine.

The year of the birth of Katie was by far the most eventful and tragic year in Katherine’s life, and for everyone in the Ash family. Edward left Katherine. During the last months of their marriage, Edward had come off as a cold and unreasonable man. He became selfish and combative when asked to spend a little more time with Phillip. With not even as much as a two-week notice to his job, much less his wife and family, he was gone, off to start his own firm three states away.

At that point, the only pain felt by Katherine would be the fact the kids would be fatherless. In addition, to Katherine’s chagrin, Phillip actually loved his dad and missed him terribly.

Sadly, Edward’s only contact with the children would be his child support payment, which he paid without fail every month. He had intentions of visiting the kids and having them to his house. Nevertheless, in the end, that is all they were: intentions.

Katherine learned that no matter how hard she would try, she would never be able to make him do what she wanted, so she let him go. At this time, Katherine was pregnant with Katie.

That year the hardships had only begun. Phillip, at the tender age of six, had begun to complain of stomach pains. After two full weeks, the pain had only grown worse. One day, while watching television, Phillip doubled over in pain, his arms about his belly.

It hurts, he had moaned repeatedly on the way to the emergency room.

The specialist had prescribed a painkiller and an antibiotic. After two more weeks, the pain had not only persisted, but worsened.

Katherine spoke with a doctor. His name was Arthur Sigura. A large Hawaiian man with a crown of thick, black hair, his potbelly rounded out a colorful, tropical shirt.

I would suggest an M.R.I., Miss Ash. He suspected something serious and wanted Phillip examined right away.

How right he was.

The M.R.I. revealed three tumors on the lining of Phillip’s stomach. Sigura informed Katherine that no metastasis had taken place. However, the tumors were malignant and Phillip needed hospitalization.

Devastated, with the admittance of Phillip into the cancer wing, Katherine went into early labor.

Katie would be the miracle within the despair. She was under weight and heavily drugged at birth because of the Demerol, but she was healthy and beautiful, her eyes an intense blue.

*****

With all the Ash family hospitalized, Katherine’s older brother, Danny Jacobs, watched over her large house. He watered the yards, front and back, and fed the family cats, Mort and Jenkins.

Both mother and daughter remained at the hospital for observation. Katherine’s co-workers and various employees of the hospital visited her. They left bouquets of flowers and cards on the counters and tables inside her hospital room.

The closest of her various associates would accompany Katherine to the viewing room, and through the glass they would gaze at baby Katie. Because of the turmoil in her life, Katherine would cry and then apologize for all the grief she was causing. All her co-workers would tell her she had nothing to apologize for and that everything would be all right.

Danny and Katherine’s mother, Clarice, visited often and their support was priceless. They visited with Phillip too. He had grown very close to them, especially with his grandmother. She brought him crossword puzzles and books, and even though the doctors had Phillip on a strict diet, she would sneak chocolate into his room.

Danny was reserved around Phillip. The chemotherapy and radiation treatments had caused Phillip’s hair to fall out and he had become much thinner. Phillip could sense Danny’s unease, but he overlooked it because he loved his uncle.

Phillip was only one of the patients at the hospital. He thought all the children in the cancer wing appeared like little, bald old men, including him.

He missed his mom and asked about her. Gramma Clarice told him she would be up to see him when she was strong enough.

The day Katherine was well enough to have the I.V. removed; she went to visit her son. She steeled herself before entering his room.

Mom! Phillip looked up from his puzzle as she came in. His appearance worried Katherine profoundly, but she held her composure, coming to him with a tight embrace. As they held each other, the tears came. The hug endured as they spoke of the love they shared for one another.

Finally, they parted and Katherine wiped the tears from her eyes. How do you feel? She asked Phillip.

Tired, but the doctors say I’ll be fine. He ran a pale hand over his bald head.

A nurse came into the room with a bundle of blankets in her arms. The nurse had brought Katie up to Phillip’s room as Katherine had requested. She gave the bundle to Katherine and left the room. Katherine set the baby down on the bed between herself and her son. She parted the folds of the pink blankets revealing Katie’s tiny, red face and said, Phillip? Meet your little sister, Katie.

Phillip gazed down at Katie with wide, wet eyes. His expression of wonder and fascination etched into Katherine’s mind forever. She held back her emotions, stemming the tears.

Hi Katie! I love you, Phillip cooed in a little voice. They visited and played with Katie for about forty-five minutes. They said goodbye to the little bundle and Katherine had Katie taken back to her crib.

As Katherine walked back to her hospital room, she broke down, her overwhelming emotions overflowing. The joy of the new baby and the deep sadness for Phillip were too much to bear. She crumpled to the floor in the hallway. A troop of nurses helped her to her room in a wheelchair.

*****

Katherine and the baby went home. She brought Katie to visit Phillip everyday. Clarice and Danny came with her twice a week.

One day, they came to find Phillip deeply sad and crying. What’s the matter? Clarice asked as she came to his side.

My roommate Andy, Phillip pointed to the empty hospital bed next to his. He...died this morning. The cancer got him. The family cried for the boy and sat in silence with Phillip.

Katherine forced a smile and broke the quiet, her eyes trained on her son’s sunken features. Well, you’re going to make it.

*****

Two months later, Arthur Sigura phoned Katherine at home. Good news, Katherine. Tests show that the tumors are shrinking and Phillip may be on his way to remission!

Katherine cried out, overwhelmed with relief. Phillip was coming home!

*****

The Ash family and several of Phillip’s closest friends had a party honoring Phillip’s triumphant return. The family was finally whole again. The celebration lasted well after